


Worth the Wait

by lovelarry10



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Established Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Fluff, Future Fic, Harry is 38, Light Angst, Louis is 40, Love, M/M, Married Life, Mpreg, Mpreg Harry, Older Characters, Pregnancy, Pregnant Sex, Smut, Unplanned Pregnancy, unexplained infertility
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:41:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 117,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26837626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelarry10/pseuds/lovelarry10
Summary: “Harry, you’re scaring me. Why did you need me to come home? I don’t mind, not if you need me, but… tell me what’s happening, love.”“I…” Harry cleared his throat, but still the words wouldn’t come. His shaking hand reached down and pulled out the picture, his breath coming in shallow pants as he handed it to Louis, who took it from him, frowning down at it.“Whose is this?”Louis’ blue eyes met Harry’s green then, and Harry knew he had to tell the truth.“It’s mine. Ours. I’m pregnant, Louis.”*****Louis and Harry had long ago come to terms with the fact they couldn’t have children. Rapidly approaching their forties, they’re settled at work, and more than happily married.Life, however, has other plans for the Tomlinsons.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Liam Payne/Sophia Smith, Niall Horan/Lottie Tomlinson
Comments: 620
Kudos: 883





	1. Harry

**Author's Note:**

> Well, here it is at last! I've been working on this for a few months now, and it's complete. I'll be posting it chapter by chapter, a new chapter coming every Monday and Thursday. I hope you love it as much as I do. 
> 
> Please do leave a comment and let me know as the story develops what you think. I'm very nervous about this one!
> 
> Thank you to Liz and C for their help and cheerleading as always.
> 
> Enjoy, and thank you for taking the time to read. It means a lot to me! 
> 
> DISCLAIMER:  
> This is a work of fiction. All characters are of my own creation and in no way reflect the beliefs and actions of those in real life. Any sexual content is consensual and legal per the consent guidelines in the United Kingdom. Please ensure you read the tags before proceeding with this story - they are there to protect you and me. If you believe anything is in any way triggering for you, please do not continue reading.
> 
> Reposting of this work is a violation of copyright and will be reported. I also do not permit any translations of my work.

  
  


“Lou, babe, she won’t have gone far. You stay here with Thomas, and I’ll go find her, okay?”

Harry looked down at his devastated husband, who just nodded. He watched as Louis settled himself on the floor in front of Thomas and the board game the six year old was setting up. His tongue poked out in concentration as he placed all the pieces down on the board. Harry walked off before Louis had a chance to convince him otherwise, and headed upstairs, fairly certain there wasn’t anywhere in their home that his niece could find to hide in downstairs.

“Roisin. Ro, where are you?”

He kept his voice light so she’d know not to worry too much, walking quietly around. There was a soft knock in the background and Harry paused, listening. When it came again, he smiled to himself as he headed in the right direction, crouching down in front of the built in storage cupboard in their spare room, the room which became the children's room whenever they came to stay.

“Sweetheart, why are you hiding?”

“Uncle Louis being mean,” she said quietly, but Harry could already hear her pouting, even through the wooden slatted door. “Stayin’ here  _ all day _ .”

Harry sighed, smiling to himself. Their niece most definitely got her sass from her Uncle, no matter how much her mum Lottie tried to deny it. “Love, he’s not mean. He’s right, you can’t have your pudding before your dinner, and you do have to eat enough before we let you and your brother have your treat.”

“So mean,” she huffed, but despite her protests, the door creaked open, revealing a pink cheeked four year old. “Really just wanted ice-cream, Uncle Harry. Just a little?” She held her tiny forefinger up close to her thumb, bringing it too close to Harry’s face. “Teeny weeny bit?”

“After dinner,” Harry asserted again, determined that he and Louis had to be a team. “Come on, let’s go and see Thomas and your Uncle. He’s sad you ran away. You know how much he loves having you guys over!”

Thankfully, Roisin agreed and stepped out of the cupboard, hugging Harry’s leg tight. He reached down and ruffled her hair, closing the door. “Thomas having no ice cream too?”

“Not until after dinner,” Harry said, holding her hand as the pair walked downstairs together. She ran in Louis’ open arms as they walked into the sitting room and Harry hung back, sitting himself down next to Thomas while Louis and Roisin sorted things out. It didn’t take much since within a few seconds, she was sitting on his leg, the pair ready to play in teams.

It was a few hours later that finally, Harry pressed a kiss to Roisin’s forehead, tucking her into bed beside her brother. There were two small beds in the spare room but they usually ended up sleeping together. Roisin liked the comfort her big brother offered when she was away from home, and Harry and Louis weren’t about to deny her that.

“Now, you both go straight to sleep, alright? If you stay in bed and go to sleep nice and quickly, I’ll make you both some eggs in the morning.”

“Scrambly?” Thomas asked, his little wide eyes shining in the low light of the room.

“Definitely. Sleep tight, and sweet dreams.” Harry leaned over and kissed Thomas too, making sure the duvet was covering both of them, and that Roisin’s stuffed panda bear Mandy was nowhere near the edge of the bed. “Uncle Lou will come and kiss you both in a tick.”

As he was leaving the room, Harry passed his husband in the hallway, smiling at the sight of him in his comfy clothes. There was something wonderfully handsome about Louis when he was dressed down, and Harry was certain the butterflies in his stomach would never stop - he’d had them for over twenty years now.

“Wanna watch a film or something?” Louis asked, reaching out and lacing his fingers through Harry’s, playing with them gently, a habit he’d had for too long now. “Or are you ready for bed?”

“Um…” Harry pondered the question for a moment, thinking it through. “I mean, I could make us some teas and bring them up to bed?”

“Sounds perfect.” Louis pushed onto his toes and pressed his lips against Harry’s for a brief moment. “You do that, and I’ll tuck the kids in. I already texted Lottie and told her they’re in bed. She was a bit surprised.”

“They’re always good for us, don’t know why she worries so much,” Harry chuckled, watching as Louis disappeared into the kids bedroom, pushing the door closed behind him. He hurried downstairs, double checking the front door was locked before he went to the kitchen, reaching down Louis’ favourite Doncaster Rovers mug that Harry had brought him for their first anniversary all those years ago. The logo was faded now, almost past recognition but he knew Louis would be hanging onto it until it broke, and even then, he’d probably do his damndest to patch it up.

He made their teas and tucked a packet of biscuits under his arm, feeling a bit peckish. He crept quietly up the stairs and nudged his and Louis’ bedroom door open with his foot, pleased Louis hadn’t shut it fully behind him. His husband was already laying under the covers, his latest read in his hands, glasses perched on his nose. It had taken Harry too long to persuade Louis to stop being so vain and to get glasses, and now he loved how handsome he looked. The ever-spreading flecks of grey at his temples just added to the whole look, if he was being honest.

“Tea, my love,” he called, getting Louis’ attention. Immediately, Louis popped his bookmark between the pages of his book, laying it in his lap before he reached up, accepting the cup with a soft smile. “Got some biccies too if you’re hungry.”

“Chocolate ones?”

“Of course,” Harry grinned, holding up the pack in his free hand, just out of Louis’ reach. He laughed and set them down on the bed while Louis took his cup from him, leaning over to set it down on Harry’s bedside table, beside the photo from their wedding day nearly seventeen years ago now. They’d been just twenty one and twenty three, with both sets of parents nervous about such a commitment at such a young age, but Harry had never been more certain of anything than he was of Louis and their relationship. “I’ll get changed, then I’ll join you.”

“Alright,” Louis mumbled, already shoving a biscuit in his mouth, dunking it in his tea before he took the next bite. 

Harry quickly took off the clothes he’d been wearing all day, his shirt splashed with gravy after a little accident with Roisin at the dinner table, but he didn’t mind. He loved when their niece and nephew came to stay, especially when it was an overnight visit. Lottie and her husband Niall were off on an anniversary trip to a local hotel and spa, and Louis had been only too quick to offer babysitting services. Harry had easily agreed, and the children had been dropped off just after nine o’clock that morning, barely bothering to wave a goodbye to their parents as they charged inside the house to see what treats Uncle Harry had made for them (it was chocolate chip cookies this weekend). 

He climbed into bed next to Louis wearing just his boxers, nudging his body up against his husband’s. They always slept tangled up together, even after all these years, and Harry preferred to have some point of contact with Louis, whether it was a foot resting on top of Louis’ under the dinner table, or their pinkies linked together as they waited in the queue in Sainsbury’s to pay for their weekly grocery shopping. 

“Had a fun day?” Harry asked, letting Louis push his hair out of his eyes for him, tucking it behind his ear. Harry knew it needed a cut but he quite liked how good it looked at the moment. It was glossy and his curls were more pronounced than normal. He’d even worn it down to work the other day, which had surprised his colleagues, not that he minded. Harry had always been one to wear whatever he wanted, and didn’t usually enforce too many rules in the office, much to the delight of everyone at Good Food Magazine HQ. “I think school’s going to be good for Roisin.”

“I agree,” Louis nodded, stroking his toes up against Harry’s calf. “It’s such a shame she missed the cut off for last year, really. Be a culture shock for her when she gets there, though. I still can't believe she’s starting school this year, and Thomas is going into Year 2.”

“Yep, all goes too quickly, doesn’t it?”

Harry reached for his tea, pleased it was at a more tolerable temperature to drink now. They chatted about their plans for tomorrow, taking the children to the big park in town and letting them have a play in the playground before they went to their favourite café for a lunch time treat before Niall and Lottie arrived home to collect them mid-afternoon.

“Did Lottie reply?”

“Yeah, she said they’re having a great time. They had the couples massage we paid for, and Lottie went and got her mani pedi done while Niall had a swim. Sounds lovely.”

“We’ll have to treat ourselves to that sometime,” Harry mused, thinking how nice that sounded. He wasn’t too averse to a mani pedi himself when the occasion called for it. Louis, though, would be found in the pool like Niall, too fidgety to sit still for something like that. “Maybe for our anniversary as well.”

“Book it, love. I like the sound of it,” Louis smiled, leaning over to peck Harry’s lips briefly. “Oh, I managed to finish Gemma’s book the other day. It’s going to be another bestseller, isn’t it?”

Harry practically glowed at Louis’ words, nodding his head eagerly. “Oh, definitely. She really hit the nail on the head with this one. I’m so fucking proud of her, Lou.”

“Me too, love,” Louis grinned. “I wonder if we’ll get invited to another one of those posh book launches. Ooooh maybe they’ll do those nice little sausage thingies like last time, they were so nice-”

“I wouldn’t know, would I? Since you scoffed both of our portions,” Harry teased, poking at Louis’ ribs, making his husband squeal and curl away from him. “But probably. Feels so good to say my sister’s an author on the Sunday Times Bestseller list.”

“Well, being promoted to Editor-in-Chief at Good Food Mag when you were just thirty one is nothing to sniff at, Harold. You did good, too.”

“We all did,” Harry said, draining the last of his tea. He was just snuggling under the covers when he heard whimpers coming from the bedroom next door, and he sat upright just as Louis did, the pair waiting to see if anything more would come of it. It seemed like all had settled when the tears started a little more loudly, but it was Louis who got up first.

“I’ll bring her in here,” he mumbled, hurrying out of the room in his t-shirt and boxers. Harry reached for a t-shirt on the floor by his bed he’d thrown there earlier that morning and pulled it on just as Louis appeared in the doorway, a red faced Roisin on his hip, clinging onto him for dear life. He felt sad and reached for the little girl, sitting her on the mattress next to him while Louis grabbed a few tissues, joining them in bed. “Come on, Ro, you need to get some sleep, love.”

“Big- big-” she stuttered out, hiccuping through her tears now, and Harry held her hand, stroking his thumb back and forth over her hand in an attempt to soothe her. “Monster-”

“No monsters here, Roisin,” Harry said, helping her lay down between him and Louis. “Uncle Lou did the monster spray earlier on, remember?”

Roisin sniffed and nodded, curling up against Harry’s chest, her little fist clutching his t-shirt. “Scared, Uncle Harry.”

“Well, you’re with us now, love. Nothing to be scared of at all, I promise. You can stay here and go to sleep, we’ll protect you.”

“Promise?”

“We promise,” Louis whispered back, stroking her hair gently. “I’m going to turn the light off now, love, but you need to sleep, okay?”

“Okay,” she mumbled, her voice heavy with sleep now. Harry could feel her breathing even out once the light was off, and it was just a few minutes later that she was asleep again, feeling safe and sound between her uncles. 

“No nookie for me tonight, then,” Louis lamented, and Harry chuckled, shaking his head and reaching for Louis’ hand across Roisin’s now sleeping body.

“Aww, poor deprived Lou,” Harry teased, wishing he could kiss his husband now. “Good job you got some this morning, then. I’m still feeling it, thank you very much.”

“So you should. Go to sleep. These terrors will have us up early, no doubt.”

“You’re right. G’night. Love you.”

“Love you too, Haz. Night, babe.”

With a little girl curled up against his chest, and his hand in his husband’s, Harry fell into a deep and dreamless sleep.

*****

“Now, are you sure you’ve got everything, my little pickles?” Niall asked, his children’s rucksacks already in one hand. Thomas nodded sullenly, a bit annoyed that his parents had turned up to collect them earlier than planned, and they’d interrupted his and Louis’ rather vicious game of Top Trumps, much to Harry’s relief. “Thomas, I asked you a question.”

“Yeah, I’ve got everything-”

He was cut off by his little sister letting out a gasp. 

“My Mandy pandy!”

Roisin flew off at the speed of sound up the stairs, leaving an exasperated Niall in her wake, shaking his head with a little smile on his lips. 

“Go and put the bags in the car for Dad, please?” Niall asked, and Thomas nodded, walking out where the car was parked on the drive. “They were alright with you?”

“Course they were,” Louis grinned, resting a hand on Niall’s shoulder. “Well, Roisin ended up in bed with me and Haz last night because she had a bad dream, but that’s par for the course at the moment, so we didn’t mind.”

“Yeah, and they ate well last night, and at lunch,” Harry piped up, giving Roisin a thumbs up as she appeared with the tatty Panda bear in hand. “I think that really is everything now.”

“Alright. Well, what do you both say to Uncle Louis and Uncle Harry?”

“Thank you, we love you!” both children chorused together, being swept up in hugs and kisses from their Uncles, Thomas protesting far more loudly than Roisin did and quickly wiping the kisses away from his cheeks, making Louis laugh.

“Thanks again guys, we appreciate it so much,” Niall said, hoisting his daughter onto his hip as Thomas retreated into the car. 

“Honestly, we love having them,” Harry said, meaning every word. “I hope you and Lottie had a nice weekend together.”

“We did. It was nice just to chill and have some alone time-”

“Lalalalala, that’s my baby sister you’re talking about!” Louis protested, sticking his fingers in his ears. “We need no more info, thank you very much!”

“Fair enough,” Niall laughed, hugging Harry and Louis. “Enjoy the last few hours of your weekend guys!”

He waved, and Harry slipped an arm around Louis’ waist as they stood outside their front door, waving goodbye as Niall tooted the horn, whizzing himself and the children off to their house on the other side of town. It was only a ten minute drive, which Harry liked. His own sister lived in Scotland now, proclaiming it was a quiet location and pace of life that helped her to write. Harry understood but that didn’t mean he didn’t miss his sister terribly. He was just grateful his mum was only half an hour away, and Louis’ family were just around the corner as well.

“God, sometimes I’m just grateful we get to give them back at the end of the weekend, you know?” Louis sighed as they retreated back indoors, the house all too quiet now the little bundles of energy had left. “They’re exhausting.”

“Yep,” Harry agreed, slumping down on the sofa, grabbing Louis’ ankles and resting his husband’s feet in his lap. “We’re definitely getting too old for this.”

“I’m forty, not nearly dead,” Louis quipped, but Harry knew that he agreed. He watched Louis’ eyes shut as his fingertips pushed into the soles of Louis’ bare feet, much smaller ones than his own. 

It wasn’t that Harry and Louis hadn’t wanted to have children. They’d started trying for a baby a few years after their marriage, when Harry was in his mid twenties. Like any couple, they just assumed it would happen, and they enjoyed sex as they anticipated a positive test every month. When it didn’t come after over a year of trying, they made a joint decision to be responsible and get checked out, only to be given the all clear and told to keep trying, that it would happen. 

By Harry’s thirtieth birthday, they were still trying, but the little flicker of hope that had been burning brightly inside Harry was now all but extinguished. Sex went from being an enjoyable thing he and Louis shared to something that became a chore. After a long and emotional talk one winter night, with many tears shed and too many apologies uttered between them, they made the decision that if it happened, it happened. If not, well, they had each other, and that was enough. It had to be enough.

Now, at thirty eight years old, Harry had pretty much come to terms with the fact he was never going to be a father, and for the most part, he was okay with that. He was surrounded by children thanks to their family and friends, and they were the most popular Uncles. Harry’s colleague and best friend Liam had three children who often enjoyed having a sleepover when Liam and his wife Sophia needed a break, and Louis’ sisters certainly kept them busy. Lottie, of course, had two children, and Phoebe had given birth just a few weeks ago. Luckily, their family members had stopped making comments about when Harry and Louis would be next, and just allowed the pair as much time with their children as they wanted.

“You got much planned with work next week?” Louis asked, shuffling further down into the sofa. Harry felt ridiculously fond as he watched Louis tug down the blanket from the back of the sofa, covering himself in it, eyes still shut.

“Uh, Liam and I have got a meeting with the chef over at Palladino’s,” Harry began, mentally running through the things he needed to get done. “It’s a taster menu for a review, so we’ll be bringing Sarah for some photo stuff. Other than that, it’s just planning the rest of the issue as we go to print in ten days.”

He waited for a response but when one didn’t come, he glanced up to his husband, smiling to himself when he saw Louis was all but asleep. As much as they loved spending time with their nieces and nephews, Harry found that they got more and more tired when they left. He didn’t feel thirty eight, and he knew Louis didn't feel forty, but sometimes they just couldn’t avoid their ages and nature. 

Harry left Louis dozing while he got up, starting to tidy up. He grabbed the box where he stowed the children’s toys that had a permanent place in their home and threw the few things scattered about it into it. It didn’t take long, and Harry straightened up a few of the picture frames dotted around, plumping the sofa cushions that Louis wasn’t laying on. When things were tidy, Harry headed into the kitchen, opening the fridge to work out what for dinner for the pair of them. He settled on chicken salad, with a few chips for Louis since he’d moan about a lack of carbs if Harry didn’t serve any up at all.

The rest of the evening passed by in a quiet blur, and before Harry knew it, it was bedtime. Louis had slept until dinner was almost served, and he’d made Harry jump as he prepared the last of the salad, sneaking his arms around Harry’s slim waist, kissing his shoulder blades. They chatted quietly as they ate dinner, then washed up side by side. They shared a shower together, washing each other's hair before they walked into their bedroom, Harry grateful for the fact they couldn’t be interrupted. As much as he loved having the children around, he loved the freedom of being able to walk around naked when they weren’t around. Louis certainly wasn’t objecting. 

He stood in front of the mirror as he blow dried his long hair, letting his body air dry as Louis scrolled through his phone, sitting on the edge of the bed in his boxers. When he was done, Harry walked into the bathroom and did his usual skincare routine before he joined Louis in bed, curling into Louis’ side.

“No jammies tonight, H?”

“Nope. No kids to interrupt me,” Harry smiled, kissing Louis’ bare shoulder. He watched over Louis’ shoulder as his husband answered a few work emails, telling one of his colleagues not to hurry back to work when she told him her son was poorly and she wouldn’t make it in tomorrow. “You’re lovely, you know.”

“We’ve been married seventeen years and you’re just realising that?”

Harry laughed, resting his left hand on Louis’ chest, his wedding ring glinting in the light. “Why do you think I married you, hmm?” He tilted his chin up, letting Louis’ lips meet his own. It was a slow kiss, lazy almost, but it was how Harry loved to kiss his husband. There’d been a plethora of different kisses throughout their relationship; brief, chaste pecks as they dashed out of the door to work, dirty kisses when they had sex, ‘just because’ kisses, passionate kisses. But Harry loved these slow, deep kisses most of all, where he could really feel Louis pouring every inch of his love into it, into him.

“You in the mood?” Louis mumbled against Harry’s lips, but Harry didn’t bother to answer. Instead, he rolled on top of his husband, rolling his hips down as they kissed, shuddering as Louis’ hands found their way to his hips, holding him in place. “Love you. On the bed, love.”

Harry complied easily, letting his bare back hit the mattress as Louis situated himself between his legs, looking down at his husband with what Harry could only describe as love in his eyes. They kissed again, and Harry gasped when Louis’ hand found his length, touching and teasing in the best way. He could feel his body responding so quickly, and when Louis sucked one of his nipples into his mouth, he cried out, begging for more. Louis gave Harry what he wanted, sliding fingers into his husband, being so gentle Harry felt adored. After so many years, they knew exactly what to do to turn each other on, and it wasn’t long before Louis was pushing into Harry, arms wrapped around each other as they moved as one. 

Harry’s legs came up around Louis’ waist as his husband rocked into him over and over, hands linked as Harry pulled him in deeper, lost in how good Louis was making him feel. They’d always had a healthy sex life, and all these years later, Harry could never quite get enough of his husband. He looked up as Louis hovered above him, staring into his eyes as Louis’ rhythm stuttered, hips jerking as he released into his husband, whispering words of love between them. He wasted no time in helping Harry reach his high as well, Harry almost clawing at Louis’ back as he came. It didn’t matter how many times they did this, or how many different ways it happened, Louis could still make him feel better than he’d ever felt in his life.

Afterwards, Harry was sated and cuddled up to Louis, forgoing a trip into the bathroom to clean up to just lay there, too warm and satisfied to care. He couldn’t help for a brief second that his hands drifted down to his belly, wishing they could have made a baby but he knew it wasn’t going to happen. He looked down wistfully for a moment before he came back to reality, moving his hands, letting the thoughts drift away. Louis’ body was sweaty, and Harry played with his chest hair, gazing up lovingly at his husband. 

“I love you.”

Louis ducked his head and kissed Harry again, brushing a curl that was almost dangling in his eye. “I love you, too. Always have.”

“And will forever,” Harry mumbled back, feeling tired now. He felt Louis lace their fingers together on top of the covers, and let his eyes flutter shut. “G’night, Lou.”

“Night, baby. Sweet dreams.”

And since more often than not, Harry dreamed of Louis, he knew it would be the sweetest.


	2. Louis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and let me know your thoughts!

**_2 weeks later_ **

“I’m so sorry I’m late!” came a loud voice, and Louis looked up over his monitor, sighing in despair as his colleague Jenny came rushing in, looking a little worse for wear considering it was almost four in the afternoon. Sometimes, it felt like no heeded his advice.

“Jen, the day’s nearly over, why have you even bothered coming in?” Louis asked in an exasperated tone, shaking his head as she shrugged her shoulders, looking more than a little harassed.. “I did say not to worry…”

“I know, I know,” she said, sitting down at her desk, scraping her hair back into a ponytail. “But honestly, I needed a breather. I love my kids, Lou, you know I do but it’s John’s turn to clean up the sick and shampoo the carpets.”

“Fair enough,” Louis chuckled, getting up from his seat to hug the woman. He left his hands resting on her shoulders for a moment, wondering what more he could do to help. “You stay there and sort out some emails for me. I’ll get you a coffee. I think Kate might’ve even hidden a few of the nice cakes Harry sent over for us earlier on so I’ll grab you one of those.”

“You’re an angel, and so’s that husband of yours,” Jenny called as Louis walked away, nodding his head at the big boss as he walked by the office on the way to the kitchen. He grabbed Jenny’s pink mug from the cupboard and made her coffee as she liked it, digging around the cupboards until he found the cake tin. He snatched out a couple of red velvet cupcakes and placed them on her desk, kissing the top of her head. He then returned to his work, answering the last few emails lingering in his mailbox.

Louis only looked up when his phone pinged on his desk, smiling when he saw a notification from ‘Hubby’ on his lockscreen. The photo was one of Harry, Roisin and Thomas that they’d taken when the children had stayed a few weeks ago, one child perched on each of Harry’s thighs, the widest smiles on all of their faces. 

**Harry:** _ Just wanted to let you know I love you, thought we’d have wraps for dinner. See you soon. Xx _

Louis quickly tapped out a reply, and got back to work, knowing if he did that the hours would pass much faster. It wasn’t exactly Louis’ dream career in many ways, but when he’d left school at eighteen, Louis was one of those teenage boys who had no idea what he wanted to do with his life. He’d moved from job to job until he walked into Lifestyle Insurance, the manager seeing something in him no one else had to date. He’d got his first managerial position and had worked his way up since, now holding the role of Regional Manager, a role he took very seriously. It paid well, he got a good amount of holiday and he was able to leave work at work, which was really all he could ask.

At times, Louis felt a little jealous of his husband and his drive for what he wanted. Harry had always wanted to work in journalism, and had gone to University for a journalism degree, graduating with a First and an internship at a national magazine. Harry more than proved himself over and over, and at the age of thirty one, he was made the youngest editor in Good Food Magazine’s history. He worked hard, and had achieved many accolades in his work, and nothing made Louis prouder than seeing Harry succeed.

“Right, home time, everyone,” Louis called as the clock hit half past five. “Have a good evening, get home safe.”

There was a hub bub as everyone started to log off their computers, chatting amongst themselves as they shrugged on jackets, grabbed bags and rucksacks, and heading out of the door. Louis took his time, knowing Harry was at a shoot with Liam until eight tonight, and he smiled as he packed things into his bag, eyes catching on the photo of himself and Harry they’d taken on their last summer holiday to Greece, the pair laying on one lounger, cuddled up and grinning at the camera. It had been an amazing time, and already, Louis couldn’t wait to book their next trip.

“Jen? You going home, love?” Louis asked as he walked past his colleague, seeing she was still logged.

“Uh, I think I’m just going to catch up on a few things I missed today, if that’s alright? Dennis is still in his office, so I can let him know I’m here …”

“I’ll do it on the way out. Just don’t stay too late, alright? And if Bradley isn’t better tomorrow, please stay at home. I’ll sort things out this end.”

“You’re a godsend,” she said, smiling up at him. “Have a good night, Lou.”

“You too, love.”

Louis finally headed out of the building, pulling his jacket around him a little tighter. It was early March so the wind in the evening was still a little more bitter than Louis would have liked. He got into his car behind the wheel, selecting one of his Spotify playlists to drive home to. The traffic was as bad as usual, and Louis tapped his fingers on the steering wheel, singing along to the new Gerry Cinnamon album as he wove in and out of the traffic.

As he drove by the big out of town superstore, Louis made a split decision and indicated, pulling in front of a Range Rover which beeped loudly at him as he headed into the side road, manoeuvering his little car into a parking space at the back of the car park so he wouldn’t get his car hit.

He got out and walked into the shop, grabbing a basket on his way. He picked up a copy of his favourite music magazine, smiling as he walked by Harry’s latest issue of Good Food Magazine, complete with tantalising cover. Louis trailed around the familiar aisles, grabbing a few treats for himself and Harry, making sure he chose one of Harry’s favourite bottles of wine before he headed to the check out.

As he was about to put his things on the conveyor belt, Louis hurried off again back to the front of the store, selecting a bright bunch of sunflowers to take home to his husband, not caring they were out of season. Louis loved to show Harry as often as he could how much he loved him, and Harry adored having flowers around their home, so they were always a welcome surprise. He paid and carried the bag back to the car, carefully resting it on the passenger seat before he drove home, the traffic slighter lighter as he turned into their estate.

Harry wasn’t yet home, so Louis let himself in, putting the sunflowers on the table as he opened the fridge, grinning when he saw Harry had already prepared everything for their wraps, meaning Louis could make a start. He was no chef, not compared to his husband, but years of being married to Harry meant he could cook a fair few dishes to an edible standard, and Louis was pretty proud of that.

He was just sliding the warm wraps out of the oven when he heard the front door open. He glanced to the table, making sure everything was ready and snatched up the flowers, making his way through to where Harry was hanging up his blazer, his heart skipping a beat as Harry turned and locked eyes with him.

“Oh, Lou …”

“Hey, sweetheart,” he said, leaning in to welcome his husband home with a kiss, handing over the flowers. “Had a good day?”

“I have now,” Harry grinned, his dimple popping in his stubbly cheek. It wasn’t often Harry let his scruff grow out, but Louis really loved it when he did. It made Harry look more … distinguished, somehow. Louis couldn’t resist reaching up and cupping his husband’s cheek, smiling gently at him. “What?”

“Just love you,” Louis shrugged, not at all embarrassed by his show of emotion. “Come on, dinner’s ready.”

“You cooked?”

“Well, you did all the hard work,” Louis said, holding Harry’s hand as he dragged him into the kitchen. “All I had to do was stick it in the oven and make the salad. Even I can manage that-”

He was cut off by Harry spinning him round and kissing him harshly, his scruff grazing on Louis’ smooth jaw.

“Mmm, what was that for?”

“Because I love you,” Harry smiled, echoing Louis’ words from moments ago. They kissed for a few minutes before Louis broke away, insisting Harry sit down at the table while he fetched the bottle of white from the fridge, unscrewing the cap as Harry held out his wine glass. “Ooh, my favourite Sauvignon Blanc, I am a lucky man.”

“You are. Now stop talking and tuck in.”

They chatted about their day as they ate, the sunflowers laying on the worktop, waiting to be put in a vase later on. Harry polished off his food, and Louis then produced the cheesecake he’d bought from the shop, cutting each of them a thin slice.

“God, this is like an orgasm for my mouth,” Harry muttered as he slid another bite into his mouth. Louis couldn’t help but stare at his husband’s plump pink lips, watching how his eyes fluttered closed as he chewed, clearly in love with the food he was eating. “Fuck me, this is good-”

“Don’t tempt me,” Louis mumbled, shaking his  _ very _ dirty thoughts away as he finished off his own desert, gulping down the rest of his wine when he was done. “Oh, Pheebs called me at lunch, asked if we’d go round at the weekend? I think she’s struggling a little.”

“Oh bless her, of course we can. Maybe I could cook something, take it round for her? Can’t be easy for Jay either, having another newborn around.”

“Mum’s alright, you know she won’t admit defeat,” Louis said, clearing the table with Harry’s help. “I said probably Saturday afternoon, that way we get a lie in.”

“I like the sound of that,” Harry smiled, wrapping his arms around Louis’ waist as he stood at the sink, rinsing off the dishes to put them in the dishwasher. “Wanna have an early night? We could watch the next episode of Normal People on the iPad, then…”

Louis shivered as Harry trailed his lips up the side of his neck, biting gently on his earlobe. “Well, that definitely sounds like a plan.”

He whirled around in Harry’s hold and pulled his husband into a kiss, humming as he tasted the wine on Harry’s tongue.

“I think the washing up can wait until tomorrow, don’t you?”

*****

“Okay, I’ve got a casserole and a pasta bake in here. You think we need to take anything else?”

“Don’t forget the huge bag of stuff you bought in Mothercare …” Louis teased as Harry rolled his eyes, heading out to the car laden down with bags. Louis knew Harry had been up ridiculously early that morning despite their promise of a Saturday morning lie in, too excited about seeing Phoebe and her newborn daughter Ellie. He’d been cooking since seven, and while the house smelt wonderful, Louis was still lamenting his lack of promised morning sex, having to wank in the shower instead, which was decidely less enjoyable than Harry helping him out. “Ready?”

“Yep. Want me to drive?”

“I don’t mind,” Louis said, pulling the front door closed behind him. He got in the car and let Harry pick a playlist on his phone, hooking it up to the car, filling it with his choice of music. Luckily, they both had similar taste in music, and they sang along as they drove across town, soon pulling up outside Louis’ old family home, the one he’d moved out of when he was twenty one and moving in with Harry. Still, it felt very much like he was coming home as Louis looked at the familiar front door, already excited to see his family. “Okay, here we are.”

He needn’t have bothered since Harry was already out of the car and in the boot, tugging out the bags and heading up the path. He didn’t bother to knock, letting himself in with a call as Louis trailed behind him, loving how at home Harry was with his family. Really, the Tomlinson and Styles’ families belonged to both of them now. Anne was his second mum, and Louis knew Harry felt the same way about Jay.

“Oh, my lovely boys,” Jay said, coming towards them with a beaming smile on her face. She wrapped Harry up in a hug first, kissing his cheeks before she moved onto Louis. She squeezed him just a tad too tightly for it to be comfortable, but Louis let her do it, knowing she missed him. Louis watched Harry disappear into the sitting room as he embraced his mum. “So good to see you, darling. You look well.”

“Yeah, we’re good,” Louis grinned, hanging up his jacket on the coat stand. “How are you, Mum? Things okay with Phoebe and Ellie?”

Jay sighed, making Louis worry for a moment. “I mean, it’s hard work having a newborn around again, I won’t lie. I’m a lot older now, and Ern and Dots are sixteen, so I felt like I was getting my life back - oh ignore me, I’m just a moany old woman-”

“Hey, no way,” Louis protested, tugging Jay into a hug. “You’re amazing for taking Pheebs in, you know that? What Justin did to her was completely shit, but as usual, you stepped up. Just … talk to me, yeah? And if you need a break, Haz and I can help out. You know Harry doesn’t need an excuse to come round and hold the baby.”

“I know. Come on, your sister will be pleased to see you.”

Louis nodded and followed Jay into the sitting room, smiling fondly when he saw Harry was sitting next to an exhausted looking Phoebe, feeding baby Ellie who was nestled in the crook of his left arm. He beamed up at Louis as he walked in, and as always, Louis’ heart panged with the fact he’d never be able to give this to Harry, as much as they’d tried to. 

“Happy there, love?”

“Wild horses couldn’t drag me away,” Harry mumbled, making faces at the baby who was looking up at him. Ellie was three weeks old now, and Louis was certain she’d already grown since he last saw her just over a week ago. “You’ll get your turn later, Tomlinson.”

“I better do. How’s things, sis?” 

Louis bent down and tugged Phoebe into a hug, hating how tense she felt. “Alright. I had no idea she’d be this draining. “

“Let me make you a tea. Come with me, we can have a chat.”

“Is Harry-”

“He’s fine. He’s like Mary Poppins or something, and Mum’s there if he needs a hand.” Louis could see her reluctance, so he grabbed her hand, tearing her away from her daughter, more than confident in Harry’s ability to take care of her for a few minutes. Louis filled the kettle and grabbed down four mugs from the cupboard as he gathered his thoughts, hoping Phoebe would be open to talking. “So, be honest with me. Have you heard from him?”

He glanced over to see Phoebe chewing her lip, clearly nervous about answering.

“No. I text him again last week, saying we at least needed to talk about child support, but he must’ve changed his number or something because it didn’t go through. How can he not care about his daughter, Lou?”

“Beats me,” Louis answered, filling each of the mugs with a splash of milk. “He's a dickhead, we all know that. But he’s still Ellie’s dad. Do you need anything?”

“No, and you and Harry have already done too much, with the cot and the pushchair-”

“I’m your big brother, and so’s Harry. That’s our job, to take care of you and our niece. Anything you need, come to us, alright? I mean it, Phoebe. But seriously. Everything’s okay?”

“Yeah. The health visitor booked in my six week check up. Mum’s going with me, and Daisy, just in case. But we’re doing good. She feeds well, and I get a couple of hours kip a night, so I can’t moan. I just-”

Phoebe cut herself off then, and Louis could hear her shaky exhale, focusing on the kettle in his hand as he knew she wouldn’t talk if he looked at her when she was emotional like this.

“I feel I’ve just screwed everything up, you know? I’m twenty six and a single mum. Justin’s run off god knows where, I’m just a fuck up-”

“Enough. Phoebe, you’ve done nothing wrong, darling. He’s the dick for abandoning you when you needed him. Whether he wants to be with you or not, he has responsibilities for that little girl. He better hope I never catch up with him.”

“Oh stop it, Louis. You know Harry doesn’t like violence, he’d have a fit if you hit anyone. You’re right, I know you are. Just … dark thoughts, I guess. Being awake at three in the morning on your own feeding your baby does that to you.”

“Then call me. I’ll wake up. Harry’s the one who sleeps like a baby, not me. But any time you need us, day or night, you call. Now find Mum’s nice biscuits please - she’ll have hidden them away, but I know they’re here somewhere.”

She chuckled but did as Louis said before carrying in a couple of cups, leaving them on the coffee table. Louis settled next to Harry, watching as his husband expertly burped the baby girl on his lap, holding her with such love and tender care. 

“You want a cuddle, Uncle Lou?”

“Yes, please,” Louis said with an enthusiastic nod, and he could feel Phoebe’s eyes boring into him from across the room as he carefully placed the sleepy girl in his arms, getting comfortable next to Harry. “God, she’s so beautiful. You did so good with her, love.”

“Thank you, I’m pretty proud,” Phoebe grinned, finally relaxing now her daughter was asleep. Harry and Louis proceeded to give her and Jay a run down of their week at work, Harry getting a bit animated when he talked about the latest editorial he and his assistant editor Liam had put together, and he promised to drop around an early copy to Jay when he had one. Louis loved how supportive Jay was of Harry’s career. 

“And you, Mum? Retirement suiting you?”

“Not really,” Jay laughed, handing Louis a blanket to drape around Ellie’s sleeping form. “I like being busy, you know me. And I miss work, and all the ladies. But having this one at home is keeping me going.”

“You’re amazing for letting me stay here,” Phoebe said quietly, and Louis watched as Jay took her daughter’s hand, giving it a little squeeze. “Actually, Haz …”

Harry’s face lit up, as if he sensed he was going to be asked to do something for the baby, which Louis thought was the cutest thing. 

“Yes?”

“I need to give Ellie a bath before her bedtime, do you want to help me? Mum can heat up one of your dinners while we do.”

“Oh, I’d love that! Thanks, Phoebe. Louis, give me the baby, don’t be a hogger.”

Louis laughed and easily relinquished his niece to his husband. The two of them headed out of the room, talking quietly as they made their way upstairs again, leaving Jay and Louis alone once more. He reached for the remote, flicking through but finding nothing, unsurprising given there wasn’t usually a lot on the telly late on a Saturday afternoon.

“Got anything you need doing?” Louis asked, always keen to chip in with the household tasks whenever he could.

“Uh, if you wouldn’t mind helping me make up the beds? My back isn’t what it used to be, and those mattresses are heavy.”

“Say no more. You stay there, I’ll do it.”

Louis took the stairs two by two as he ran up, pausing to peek in the doorway. Harry was on his knees in front of the bath, one hand wrapped around Ellie to keep her safe as he dripped water over her body with the other, making the cutest faces at her. Phoebe caught his eye and he smiled before he walked away, giving them some peace. The clean linen was on the end of Jay’s bed, and with practised ease, he got the bed sheet on followed by the duvet and clean pillow cases, even remembering to put on the decorative cushions. Harry would be so proud.

He made quick work of Phoebe’s bed too, unable to resist straightening out the sheets of the Moses basket next to it. They were soft pink, a set Harry had insisted on buying on one of their shopping trips, and they matched perfectly with the crochet blanket Jay had made for her granddaughter. 

“All done,” he said as he went back into the sitting room, jolting Jay from her nap. “Shit, sorry, didn’t know you were sleeping.”

“Not to worry, love. Did you do both?”

“I did, Harry’s taught me well,” he joked, knowing his mum knew he wasn’t at all domesticated until Harry got his hands on him, insisting that Louis needed to know the basics in case he dropped dead one day. “He’s loving giving Ellie a bath, bless him.”

“He’s so good with kids. It's such a shame things never went that way for you two.”

“Not through lack of trying, believe me,” Louis sighed. He wasn’t embarrassed at hinting to his sex life to his own mum. She’d been the one he went to after work, emotional after another negative pregnancy test. She’d offered comfort so he could go home and be the strong one for Harry, to hold things together and to tell Harry they could try again, despite his own broken heart. It still killed him that the one thing Harry wanted, Louis was never able to give him. “I always thought we’d be one of those couples where it just happened, you know? You just expect you can try for a baby, and boom, nine months later you’ve got a baby in your arms.”

“I know, love. Did you ever consider getting tested again?”

“Why? We did already, they told us things were fine, with both of us. They can’t give us a reason, either. Just one of those things.”

There was silence for a moment, and Louis picked at loose thread on the hem of his shirt, his mind full of thoughts.

“And you never thought about adopting or anything?”

“We talked about it. Harry … he wanted his own baby. And I get it. I know we could love a child that isn’t ours but … I wanted a mini Harry, Mum. I wanted to see if they’d get his curls and green eyes, or my blue eyes and fiery temper. It’s just not fucking fair. I love my sisters, I do, but it’s just happened so easily for them, and not for us. I just don’t understand.”

“There is no rhyme or reason, Lou,” Jay said, scooting closer to her son. “But you’ve got each other. You’ll always have each other, and you’ve got all those beautiful nieces and nephews who love you to bits. I know it’s not the same.”

“But it’s what we have, and it’s enough. We’ve got a good life. I’ve got the best husband in the whole world, and I love him more than I ever thought I could love anybody else. He's everything to me, which is why I hate that I can’t give him a baby.”

He roughly wiped at his eyes, trying to stop the tears gathering there from falling. It was a slippery slope, to start talking about these things, but sometimes, Louis had to just get it out there, to tell Jay how he really felt so he didn’t blurt it out to Harry one day. 

“Anyway. Change the subject. Did Niall text you about the pool party for Thomas they’re planning?”

“Oh god, that man, honestly. What Lottie sees in him …”

“He’s alright,” Louis laughed, smiling as Harry walked back into the room, sleeping baby in his arms. “Alright, love?”

“I am now. I’ll be back in a tick.” Harry paused and passed the baby over to Louis again, disappearing out of the room, probably to clear up. 

“She really is a wonderful baby,” Louis whispered, not wanting to wake her up. “Phoebe’s so lucky.”

“I know I am,” his sister said, walking into the room. “Believe me, Lou. I promise that I know how lucky I am.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t-”

“You did, and that’s okay. I love you, Lou.”

“Love you too.”

“Jay, which one of these did you want for dinner?” Harry called, breaking up the silence. “Jay? Pasta bake or chicken casserole?”

“Better answer him,” Louis mumbled, unable to break his eyes away from his sleeping niece, kissing her forehead gently. “He’s like a man on a mission sometimes, bless him.”

*****

“No, I’ll be home soon, I’m just leaving. Did you need me to grab anything from the shops on the way?” Louis held open the door for a passing woman on his way out, smiling as she thanked him. He ran across the car park through the pouring rain, trying to listen to his phone as Harry wittered away on the other end of the call.

“-got that pizza in the freezer, we could have that, or-”

“Pizza’s fine. Shit, it’s horrible about here. Are you sure there’s nothing else we need?”

“Nope, just want my husband home.”

“Well. I’m on my way. See you soon, baby. Love you.”

“Love you too,” Harry said before he hung up, the call ending with a couple of beeps. Thanks to the rain, the traffic was heavier than normal, but Louis stayed calm, listening to the radio as he crawled along in the jams, the wipers going ten to a dozen to swipe the rain away from the windscreen. He turned up the heating in the car to warm up, and by the time he got home, he wasn’t quite so damp and thankfully, the rain had eased up enough that he could walk into their home without being drenched.

“Honey, I’m home,” he called, slamming the front door behind him. He shook off his hair and headed straight upstairs to get changed before he found Harry hunched over his laptop, gorgeous green eyes staring at the screen. “Oi, your hubby is home.”

Harry’s eyes flicked upwards, a dopey smile settling on his face as he looked at Louis. “Hello, gorgeous. Still raining out?”

“Just a bit,” Louis replied, rounding the table to slip onto Harry’s lap, snuggling against him. Harry’s body was warm and smelt as good as ever, so Louis just shut his eyes, kissing Harry’s neck. “What are you doing?”

“Uh, that kitchen thing,” Harry said, clicking up another screen on his laptop. “I had a look at the online plans the woman from the kitchen store sent over, and I wanted to tweak a few things.”

“You been here all day?”

“Yeah, just … doing this and eating crap all day. I see why you’re addicted to those bloody Pringles. I ate the whole damn tube.”

“Ha! I guess after all these years my snacking habits are rubbing off on you. Show me what you’ve been up to then.”

Louis wriggled round in Harry’s lap so they were both facing the screen, listening as Harry excitedly chattered about what he wanted to do with the ovens, how he wanted to move them so they were higher in the cupboard unit, and wanted to move the sink’s position.

“So do you like it?”

“If you like it, I like it. You know this is your space, love. I want this to be your dream kitchen, so whatever you want, goes.”

“You live here too, though. I want you to like it as well. It’s important to me, Lou.”

Louis turned, cupping Harry’s cheek gently, turning his head until they were looking at each other. “I do like it. But I meant it when I said I want you to have everything you want. We’ve saved so hard for this, we’re doing it once. Make it everything you want, baby, okay?”

Harry just blinked a few times before he nodded quickly, resting his head against Louis’. “I love you. I love you so much.”

“Me too. What with this kitchen, and my music room upstairs, this is going to be our dream house, yeah? We deserve this.”

“We really do. But you know, I’d live on the street as long as we were together.”

“Sap. Want me to get dinner on?”

“Nah,” Harry said, tapping Louis’ butt and making him stand up. “I’ll do- ouch!”

“Haz? What is it?”

“Just … my back. Spent too long hunched over this stupid laptop, probably,” Harry said, wincing as he straightened up, palms pressing against his lower back. “I should know better at my age.”

“Well, how about we have dinner, then we can have a bath and I can give you a massage?” Louis rubbed his hand on Harry’s back, kissing him gently. “Gonna let me take care of you?”

“I would love that,” Harry smiled, looping his arms around Louis’ neck. “Love you.”

“Love you too. Let’s go do dinner. Sooner we eat, sooner we get that bath.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed that, more on Monday! That's when things really get going...


	3. Harry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the lovely comments so far... this is where the story really kicks off!
> 
> Let me know your thoughts :) x

Harry blinked, staring up at the dark ceiling. Louis was in bed next to him, still snoring away, which Harry felt grateful for. He knew his husband would only make a fuss, and Harry really wasn’t in the mood for Louis’ level of attention and care right now. He carefully sat up so he wouldn’t disturb Louis and reached for his phone, grimacing when he saw it was only six in the morning. A sudden and intense bout of nausea had disturbed him from his sleep, and after fifteen of convincing himself not to be sick, it had thankfully passed enough that Harry could open his eyes and not feel awful. He still had another hour at least before he had to get up and ready for work, but Harry had a feeling he wouldn’t be falling back asleep anytime soon.

Instead, he flicked through various news websites on his phone until Louis’ alarm started blaring. He smiled to himself as Louis groaned, reaching out and whacking around until he silenced the alarm, waiting for the inevitable and typical morning cuddle.

“Mornin’,” Louis rasped out, his voice low as it always was in the morning. Harry loved his morning voice, and he leaned down, brushing his lips quickly against Louis’. “Why you awake already?”

“Couldn’t sleep,” Harry shrugged as Louis wrapped his arms around Harry’s thigh, nuzzling into his skin. “You quite comfortable there?”

“I am, thank you very much,” Louis mumbled, kissing Harry’s leg between his words. “I don’t want to get up. Come and cuddle me.”

Harry brushed away another wave of nausea and snuggled himself back down in bed, wrapping his arms around Louis’ small, warm body. He inhaled the scent that was so perfectly Louis and tucked a leg between Louis’, enjoying the peace and quiet and warmth for a moment. 

“Something’s wrong,” Louis said softly, trailing his fingertips up and down Harry’s back as he spoke, as if sensing Harry really didn’t want to talk about it. “Are you going to talk to me about it?”

“It’s nothing, honestly,” Harry protested, trying to pull back but failing since Louis grabbed him tighter, holding him. “I just had a bad sleep, you know how it is when you’ve been tossing and turning all night. I’ll be fine once I get up.”

“If you’re sure. We can shower together if you want, wake you up a bit?”

“I, uh,” Harry started, clearing his throat. “I’d rather not, Lou. Nothing personal, I just … I don’t feel up to it. I showered last night, so I should be fine. Sorry.”

“Don’t apologise, my love. I, on the other hand, smell a bit  _ too _ fresh, so I’m gonna get in the shower. Don’t miss me too much.”

Louis kissed Harry’s lips roughly and Harry plastered a smile on his face, watching as Louis walked off the shower entirely naked and unashamed of the fact. Harry pressed the heels of his hands against his forehead, willing the dull throb that had been lingering there all morning to go away. Instead of waiting for Louis, he got up and walked downstairs, reaching for a couple of painkillers from the cupboard and swallowing them down with a glass of water.

Louis was finishing up in the shower when Harry returned upstairs, standing in front of the wardrobe, deciding what to wear. He didn’t like to be overdressed, but Harry liked to look nice, and he had a rather full wardrobe because of it. 

“Go for the lavender floral one. I love that one on you,” Louis commented as he walked past Harry, a towel hung low on his hips. Harry nodded and reached it down from its hanger, picking some dark trousers to go with it. They got dressed in silence before they headed for the kitchen. Harry’s stomach practically turned at the thought of food, and when Louis offered him a banana, Harry pushed it away, leaving his husband confused. “You’re refusing fruit?”

“I’m fine, Lou. I’ll get something when I’m at work, I promise. Not like we have a shortage of food there. Want me to make you lunch?”

“Definitely not, love,” Louis answered, shaking his head. “I’m big enough and ugly enough to sort myself out. Just promise you’ll get something later, and let me know how you feel, okay?”

“I will. I’m gonna head off, walk to the bus stop. The fresh air might do me good. I love you, Lou.”

“Love you too. You sure you don’t want to stay home? I can call Liam, let him know-“

“Louis, I’m fine. Don’t fuss, please?”

Louis sighed, clearly sensing he wasn’t going to win this one. “Fine. Well, have a good day, baby. And text me, Harold! I know you, you’ll forget.”

Harry just shook his head as he put in his jacket, knowing he’d regret it if he didn’t wear another layer out. He called bye to Louis as he left the house, hearing Louis bash around in the cupboards as he started the fifteen minute walk to the bus stop. Usually, Louis would drop him on the way, but Harry needed a few minutes to himself before the busy work day began.

There was something peaceful about the world at this time of day. There weren’t too many cars out yet, and Harry took his time to look around him and appreciate the world. Small flowers were now in bloom, and thankfully, it was a sunny morning, clouds floating silently through the blue sky. Harry smiled as he walked past a man with a baby carrier strapped to his chest, the child snoozing happily. He carried on, his stomach growling with emptiness as he approached his destination, sighing when he saw a small queue already forming. 

He arrived at the bus stop just before the bus itself, and he grinned when he stepped aboard, tapping his card on the reader and paying for his fare when he spotted Liam sitting around halfway down, bag sat on his legs.

“God, you look like hell,” Liam commented as Harry slid into the seat next to him, nodding at his best friend. “Should you be going to work looking like that?”

“Oh, don’t you start,” Harry mumbled, feeling a little disgruntled by now. “Lou was nagging me this morning as well. I just feel a bit shit, and I didn’t eat any breakfast so I don’t feel great. I’ll eat when we get in, I promise.”

“Alright then. Did I tell you Jas took her first steps last night? Look, let me show you …”

Harry sat patiently as Liam pulled up the video on his phone, cooing proudly as he watched his goddaughter toddle between her parents on the floor, giving the camera a gummy smile when she collapsed in Sophia’s arms, Liam cheering wildly behind the camera. “She’s so clever. Just a month after her first birthday as well.”

“I know. A little bit after the twins, but she’s going at her own pace, you know?”

Harry could feel Liam’s eyes bore into him as he wiped at the sweat beading on his forehead with the cuff of his jacket, pushing down the latest wave of nausea. “Stop staring.”

“Sorry. Louis okay?”

Harry nodded and proceeded to tell Liam about the plans for the kitchen, and how they were for the finalised plan before they went in a few weeks to lay down a rather hefty deposit and to book in the fitters for his dream kitchen. He knew Liam would understand what it meant to him, and it seemed Liam was just as excited as Harry showed him the rough sketches he’d been emailed just the other evening, much to Harry’s delight.

“Shit, nearly our stop,” Liam noticed as he got to his feet, trying to push Harry up and into the aisle, ready to disembark.

As Harry got to his feet, he screwed his eyes shut, swaying on the spot. He felt Liam’s hands clamp on his biceps, steadying him. 

“Sit down, Harry-“

“No. No, it’s fine. Just a bit of dizziness, that’s all.”

Harry didn’t give Liam a chance to answer. He took in a few deep breaths before he headed to wait by the door, grateful when they slid open, the fresh air blasting him in the face. Harry stepped down onto the pavement, and quickly grabbed hold of the nearest lamppost, dizziness taking over again. 

“Liam, I-“

He didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence. The last thing Harry heard was Liam yelling his name before everything went black.

*****

Harry came to a short while later, blinking at the bright lights of the ceiling glaring down at him. He groaned and rolled into his side, seeing a blue curtain there instead of the walls of his office. Harry’s heart began to race as he tried to remember what happened and where he was, but an erratic beeping made him sit up in a panic.

“Ah, you’re awake, Mr Tomlinson,” a nurse said as she swept her way in through the curtain. She had a big blonde bun at the back of her head, and a dazzling smile, but her voice was far too loud. “I’ll let the doctor know he’ll pop in and see you in a second.”

“Wait! Am I … I’m in hospital? Who brought me here?”

“Oh, sorry, yes. You passed out on the way to work, your friend brought you in. He’s in the waiting room, would you like me to fetch him for you?”

Harry sighed with relief that Liam was there, and he nodded, settling back down on the bed. He felt a little exposed like this, stripped to his underwear with a gown draped over his lower half, monitoring pads stuck to his chest, but he figured it was nothing Liam hadn’t seen before, and ran a hand through his unruly curls as Liam walked in, looking worried.

“Harry, shit, you scared the life out of me. Are you alright, mate?”

Harry nodded, shifting over and patting the bed next to him, wanting Liam to sit down. “What happened, Liam? Did you call Louis and tell him, he’ll only worry-“

“I didn’t, not yet. I thought you’d want to be the one to do that. You got off the bus and you just went down like a sack of spuds, mate. What the hell happened?”

Harry just shrugged, shivering slightly in the cool air of the hospital. He still felt a bit nauseous, but he wasn’t about to let on to Liam. “I don’t know. The nurse said a doctor would be in soon. Probably my own fault, I didn’t eat anything this-“

“Sorry to interrupt,” a doctor said, poking his head around the curtain, smiling kindly at Harry and Liam. “Harry Tomlinson?”

“That’s me,” Harry replied, raising his hand in a slight wave. 

“Lovely. I’m Doctor Walker. Are you Harry’s husband?”

“Oh. No, I’m his best mate, we took the bus together. I was with Harry when he fainted.”

“I see. In that case, would you mind just popping outside while I talk to Mr Tomlinson for a moment?”

Liam nodded, resting his hand on top of Harry’s for a moment. “Sure. I’ll go and call work, Haz. Let them know you won’t be in for a few days. And don’t argue. Rest of the week off.”

With a swish of the curtain, Liam was gone, leaving Harry alone with the doctor. He suddenly felt nervous, like he was about to get some sort of horrible diagnosis, which was ridiculous when they’d only apparently taken a bit of blood from him when he’d arrived. 

“Sorry about that. How are you feeling, Mr Tomlinson?”

“It’s Harry, please. I’m okay now. Embarrassed, and my elbow is a bit sore, but mainly a bruised ego, I think.”

The doctor nodded, tapping at the iPad in his hands for a few seconds. “Okay, I’ll take a look at that in a moment. How has your health been lately, Harry? Have you had any other fainting episodes?”

Harry shook his head, dread filling him. “No. Nothing. I mean, I’m tired but I work hard, and my husband and I babysit our nephews and nieces a lot so we don’t get much of a break at the weekends. But other than that, I’m fine. Is there something wrong?”

The silence that fell in the room then felt ominous and Harry sat up more, playing with the edge of the hospital gown on his lap, eyes flitting to his wedding ring and back up to the doctor again, seeing a small smile on his lips which put him at ease somewhat. 

“As you know, we took some blood when you were admitted to the hospital, standard procedure,” the doctor began, his voice steady and even. “It showed us a low blood sugar-”

“I didn’t eat breakfast, I felt really rough this morning,” Harry admitted, pleased that’s all it was. “I should know better, and my husband wanted me to stay home-”

“That’s not all,” the doctor interrupted, placing a hand on Harry’s forearm, stopping his rambling. “We actually double checked one of your results to be sure, but I’m quite certain. It also goes to explain your other issues as of late; the fatigue, nausea.”

Harry nodded, swallowing hard, preparing himself for the worst. In that moment, he wished more than anything that Louis was there, holding his hand, telling him it was all going to be okay.

“Your HcG levels are raised, Mr-, sorry, Harry.”

Harry blinked. “I’m sorry, my what?”

“Your HcG levels. Were you and your husband actively trying to get pregnant?”

“I- no. We tried for years, nothing ever happened for us. We were tested but- I’m sorry, what does this have to do with me fainting this morning?”

“May I?” the doctor asked, gesturing to the empty seat by Harry’s bed. He nodded, and watched the doctor hitch up his trousers before he sat down, hands clasped on top of his thighs. “Harry, looking at your results, it very much appears that you’re pregnant.”

Harry couldn’t help but let out a small laugh, shaking his head. “No. No way, I can’t be, I’m thirty eight, I-”

“Have you had unprotected intercourse recently?”

Harry felt his hands start to shake as he answered. “I… we stopped using condoms when we tried to have a baby. We- we never bothered again, we didn’t see a reason to-”

“I understand. So it’s entirely plausible you could be pregnant. The hormone indicators in your blood certainly lead me to believe that you have conceived, Harry, but I understand your disbelief.”

“It’s not disbelief, it’s just … I’m not pregnant. We tried, for like, ten years. There’s no way, not now. We’re too old.”

There was a bit of silence for a moment, the doctor tapping at his iPad again. “As I said, I do understand. If it helps, we could see if we can get an internal ultrasound done to double check that things are as I believe them to be?”

“Now?”

“Yes, I can request someone comes down from Paternity, they’d be here shortly. Let me sort that out, I’ll get your friend back in here-”

“Don’t tell him!”

The doctor smiled, holding the curtain open slightly. “I couldn’t if I wanted to, Harry. Patient confidentiality. I’ll be back once you’ve been seen by Paternity. A nurse will bring you in something to eat and drink shortly, we need to get that blood sugar up before we let you go, especially if you’re pregnant.”

Pregnant. The word still felt foreign to Harry’s ears and he just gave a shaky nod as the doctor disappeared. It didn’t seem real somehow. He and Louis had had sex daily for what felt like years to try and get pregnant, and now it happened? It felt strange. He tentatively reached down, but as he was about to touch his stomach, the curtain pulled back and Liam dashed in, concern still evident on his face.

“So? What did the doc say?”

Harry willed his face to stay relatively calm. As much as he loved Liam, there was no way he was telling him anything about his possible pregnancy, not right now. If Louis didn’t know, there was no way Liam could know. And anyway, Harry was fairly certain the doctors had it wrong. 

“Just low blood sugar, nothing a bit of breakfast can’t fix,” he smiled, tucking his hands under the gown so Liam couldn’t see them shake as he blatantly lied. “I’ll be fine. Next time Lou offers to make me toast, or even his damn Coco Pops, I’ll listen to him.”

“Well, that makes me feel glad, especially now I have something to say,” Liam said, chewing on his bottom lip before he divulged any more. “There’s been a … crisis, you could say, at work. Nothing I can’t sort out, but they need me in the office-”

“What’s happened?”

“It doesn’t matter. I’m going to go in and fix it, and you’re going to go home and rest up. I don’t expect to see you tomorrow, either. It’s one day, then it’s the weekend, and you can be back up to full strength for Monday.”

“But I-”

“No. Harry, you’re an amazing editor. You are. But you’re not irreplaceable. I’m more than capable of handling this. You need to focus on you for now. Do you trust me to sort this?”

Harry nodded, knowing he did. He liked having control at work, he wasn’t about to deny that. He liked knowing things were going to plan, that the issue was just as he planned it. But there were times he had to take a step back, and this was one of them. There was a reason he’d promoted Liam to Deputy Editor, and now was the time to let Liam prove himself, just as Harry knew he would. 

“Of course I do. Just … call me later, tell me how things are?”

“Sure thing, bud,” Liam said, clapping Harry on the shoulder. “You make sure you call Louis and tell him, okay? I know you, Harry, you’ll try and keep it to yourself.”

“I will. Now go and sort out the work crisis please, I’ll only be more stressed until I know it’s under control!”

“Right, bye then, Haz! Take care, and eat something! Oh, hello, let me-”

Liam took the tray from the nurse and set it down on Harry’s lap. Harry fought back a grimace at the selection of food they’d given him but picked up a limp slice of toast, nibbling at the edge, knowing they’d never let him go home if they didn’t. Liam left and Harry waved him off, sipping at the sweet tea, hoping it would make his nausea disappear sooner rather than later.

“Mr … uh, Harry Tomlinson? For an internal ultrasound?”

“That’s me,” Harry said through a mouthful of toast, hurrying to swallow it down. “Wow, this is sooner than I thought. What do you …”

“Just slip off your underwear, and pop this sheet over your lap. I’ll get the machine ready.”

“Right. Yes, I can do that.” Harry reached down under the gown and took off his boxers, leaving them at his side while he replaced the gown with the white sheet he’d been given, suddenly feeling very exposed. “Sorry, I’ve, um, not done this before …”

“Not a worry. Just scoot down the bed a bit and let your legs fall open for me.”

Harry did as he was asked, shivering as the technician lifted the sheet, wielding some sort of probe.

“I’m going to insert this into you, Harry. It’s no bigger than a penis, so it shouldn’t be too uncomfortable. If you experience any discomfort, let me know and we’ll work with it. I’ll keep the monitor towards me until I’ve checked everything is okay. Any questions?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Okay. So take in a deep breath for me and release it … now.”

Harry whimpered slightly as the technician pushed the probe into him. She was right, it certainly wasn’t any bigger than Louis was when they had sex, but usually, he’d been prepped and right now, he was nervous which he was sure wasn’t helping in the slightest. 

“Sorry, just … ouch.”

“I’m sorry, Harry. It’s in now, so I’ll start my observations.”

Harry nodded, gritting his teeth as the probe moved around inside of him. He stared at the white ceiling as the minutes passed by, until finally, the screen turned around, the technician smiling.

“Right, I’m happy with everything I’ve seen. I’d date you at around six weeks based on the measurements so far, and everything looks good to me from what I can see. You’ll need a further scan at just after eight weeks, but I’m happy to confirm you’re definitely pregnant, Mr Tomlinson. And ... “ the technician clicked a few buttons, zooming in on the screen to a little blob. “Here’s your baby. Congratulations.”

“Oh my god,” Harry mumbled, already feeling himself tear up at the sight. It was everything he’d wanted for so long, but it was the most unexpected thing he’d ever been faced with. “Can I … can I have a photo? If that’s possible, I mean?”

“Most definitely. I’ll take a few pictures now, then we’ll take the probe out of you. Do you have a doctor you can go to for prenatal care?”

“Just my GP …”

“That’s fine, just go and see them and they’ll forward you onto a paternity service that can help you through your pregnancy. Bear with me for a few minutes, okay?”

Harry sat back and waited until the probe was finally taken out of his body, the technician telling him quietly to get himself dressed, which Harry did happily. He slipped his trousers on but left his shirt open, the monitors still on his chest.

“Here you go, there’s two photos there. Congratulations again, I hope you have a healthy pregnancy.”

“Thank you. Thank you so much,” Harry said, accepting the photos. He looked down at them in awe for a moment before he reached for his wallet, tucking them inside. It was still too much for Harry to think about, and he wanted to wait until he got home to properly let things sink in.

It was an hour or so later that Harry finally left the hospital in an Uber, texting Liam ferociously to make sure everything was okay at work. He’d still not told Louis that he’d fainted and had been in hospital, but right now, that was the last thing on Harry’s mind. All he could focus on was the fact he had a baby in his belly. A baby that he and Louis had made together, as unexpected as that fact was.

After thanking the driver, Harry made his way into their house, closing the door quietly behind him. It felt strange to be home in the day, and Harry just collapsed on the sofa, not even bothering to kick off his shoes by the door as he usually did. For the first time, he reached down and placed a palm on his belly, feeling nothing different to normal. His stomach was still flat, there was no sign he was pregnant, and for a moment, he was grateful of that fact.

He felt tired again after his far too exciting morning and glanced at the clock on the top of the mantelpiece, surprised to see it was already nearly one in the afternoon. Clearly, the time in the hospital had taken up the rest of his morning, and Harry just sighed, swinging his legs up onto the sofa. He grabbed the blanket on the back and dragged it down over his body, letting the tiredness overtake him.

*****

“Harry? Love, are you okay? Harry, wake up, baby-”

Harry moaned as he turned away from the voice, but an insistent shaking of his arm pulled him properly out of his sleep. He stretched out before his eyes flew open, remembering what had happened earlier that morning. He turned and looked over, surprised to see Louis knelt next to him.

“Louis? Is it-”

“Liam called me. He told what had happened … why the hell didn’t you call me? I came home as soon as I knew-”

“Louis, I’m fine,” Harry insisted, pulling himself up to a sitting position, keeping his body covered with the blanket. He knew Louis wouldn’t see any sign of the pregnancy just yet, but he felt paranoid nonetheless. “You didn’t have to come home.”

“I bloody well did. I didn’t like getting a call from my husband’s best friend telling me he was in hospital because he collapsed this morning.”

“Fucking hell, I fainted. Collapsed makes it sound like I had a heart attack or something serious, Lou-”

“It could have been! And even if it wasn’t, you still didn’t call me, Haz!”

Harry looked at Louis then, hating the hurt he could see in his face. He opened his arms and Louis went quickly into them, hugging Harry tightly before he pulled back, cupping his cheeks and staring into his eyes.

“You promise you’re okay? Liam said it was some sort of blood sugar thing …”

“Yeah. I didn’t eat breakfast, and I felt a bit rough so it was just … too much, I think. The nurses made me eat some manky toast and have some tea, and I’m fine now, I promise. Nothing to worry about.”

The fact he was also pregnant was on the tip of Harry’s tongue, but somehow, the words wouldn’t come out. It still didn’t feel real to Harry yet, and he wasn’t sure he was ready to share it with Louis just yet. He hated himself for hiding it, but he wanted to deal with this in the right way, and that wasn’t now, not when Louis was so upset at him. 

“Well, I’m home for the rest of the day now. I told the office I’d see how you were tomorrow before I made a decision about going in. Let me go and make us tea. You lay there and rest, okay? No arguing, you let me take care of you.” Louis got to his feet, taking off his jacket as he went to leave the room.

“Fine. And Lou?”

Louis turned where he was about to leave the room, looking innocently over to Harry. “Yes, love?”

“I’m sorry. I was going to call, but I fell asleep. I just … I didn’t want to worry you.”

“Harry …” Louis walked back over, kneeling in front of him again, holding his hand. “I’m allowed to worry. You’re my husband and I love you. It’s my job to worry.” He kissed him gently, and Harry could again feel the bubble of guilt growing, but he pushed it down, letting Louis stand up again. “Tea. And biscuits. You need the sugar.”

“I’m going to get changed. I can still smell the hospital on my clothes.”

“I’ll come with-”

“Louis, seriously. I can go and get changed by myself.”

Before he could think twice, Harry threw the blanket back from his body and stomped upstairs, leaving a shocked Louis in his wake. He couldn’t understand why he suddenly felt so angry towards Louis, but he slammed a few doors to try and make himself feel better, but it didn’t work. He changed into some joggers and a t-shirt and laid down in bed, curling onto his side.

A few minutes later, there was a knock at the door and Louis peered inside, a cup of tea in his hand. 

“Here’s your tea. I’m sorry for fussing.”

“It’s … it’s okay,” Harry said, letting Louis put the drink on his bedside table. “I just, I’ve had enough fussing for one day. I think I’ll have an early night, if you’re okay to get yourself some dinner?”

“I am. But are you sure you want to sleep already?”

“Yes, I’m tired, Lou. It’s been a long day. I’m sorry I snapped, I’m just tired and stressed. Liam said there was an issue at work, and I know he’s got it under control, but I’m just worried …”

“Let him worry. He can handle it, you know that, and I know that. But I’ll leave you to it. Call me if you need me, yeah? I’ve got some work I can do on the laptop downstairs. I love you, Harry.”

“Love you too.” Harry let Louis kiss him and he still felt shitty as his husband left the room, closing the bedroom door behind him. Harry sighed and bundled himself deeper under the covers, wishing he could make everything about today go away. He tried to close his eyes and sleep, but it wasn’t coming, no matter how hard he tried.

All Harry could think about was the baby. For years and years, Harry had wanted to carry Louis’ baby inside him, for them to make a baby together. He’d been devastated when it had never happened for them, but somehow, he’d come to terms with the fact that he was never going to be a father. Now, though, all of that, all of the emotion he’d pushed away for years, was flooding back. It almost felt like too much to bear.

Harry reached down, touching his stomach again. As excited as he was, Harry was terrified. This baby was going to change everything. He and Louis had so many plans, everything was falling in place for them. Now, he’d got pregnant, and he didn’t know how to feel. What if he lost the baby now? He wasn’t sure he’d cope if he miscarried and lost the one chance they both had at being parents. The thought was terrifying.

He also didn’t know how to tell Louis. He knew Louis would be excited, overwhelmed, probably, but that wasn’t helping, not now. Harry had a feeling he should have done it earlier, but the news still felt too raw, too new to share. It was his little secret, even if only for a while.

As much as Harry was terrified, he was also beyond excited. The fact he was finally pregnant was everything. He’d always wanted to be a daddy, and it was happening. Somehow, he’d been blessed and in seven months or so, he and Louis would be parents. They’d have their own little Tomlinson. A family. It was like every dream Harry had ever had was coming true, no matter how terrifying this particular dream was. This was definitely the best thing that could have ever happened to him, no matter how much it threw a spanner in the works of the rest of their plans. This baby was everything.

“I’ll take care of you,” Harry whispered, stroking his hand back and forth over his belly, smiling quietly to himself. “Please stay there, please. I’ll do everything I can for you, just … hang in there, little baby. Please.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More on Thursday... eek!


	4. Louis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter! I hope you like it :)
> 
> Thanks for all the comments so far, I'm really glad you're enjoying delving into Harry and Louis' lives. Let me know your thoughts on this too.
> 
> xx

Louis walked in the house quietly, not wanting to wake Harry up if he’d fallen back asleep that morning. He’d woken early in need of a cup of tea, but was horrified to find that there was no milk left in the fridge. By the time he’d stomped back upstairs in a huff, Harry was awake, profusely apologising for forgetting the milk when he’d popped to the shops on the way home the night before, but Louis had waved it off, telling his husband it wasn’t a bother and that he’d walk to the corner shop to grab some.

Thankfully, the weather was relatively warm and bright, and by now in a good mood, Louis had grabbed a bag of Harry’s favourite chocolates as well as the milk, paying the older man behind the till with a smile on his face. He’d walked home with the carrier bag swinging from his fingers, already excited for the rest of the weekend ahead.

Louis could hear Harry’s singing drifting down the stairs, so he dumped the bag by the banister and went back upstairs, keen to get in bed for more hugs before they really had to get up and ready. They had plans to meet Niall in a few hours for a beer and Louis had been looking forward to it all week. He burst into the bedroom without bothering to announce his arrival.

“Louis! Jesus, you could’ve knocked!” Harry yelled as he clutched a t-shirt to his body, anger evident in his features. 

“I’m… sorry? But I’ve seen you naked practically every day for the past twenty years-“

“That doesn’t matter! I’m entitled to some privacy, Louis. For fuck’s sake. I’m going to get changed in the bathroom.”

Louis jumped slightly as Harry slammed the bathroom door shut behind him, leaving Louis wondering what the hell he’d done wrong. He had noticed that Harry had been a bit strange about Louis seeing his body as of late, getting changed for bed while Louis was brushing his teeth, refusing to sleep naked as they often did, and being dressed in the morning before Louis even woke up. 

When the door opened again, Harry stalked out, chucking his used pyjamas onto the bed before checking his reflection in the mirror and spritzing himself with his aftershave. 

“Harry, I’m sorry. I don’t… I don’t really know what I did, but I do know that I upset you, and that’s not okay with me.” He knew Harry would be able to hear the honesty in his voice, but he didn’t dare to step closer in case it upset Harry any more. “I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry,” Harry sighed, moving over to Louis and taking his hand, bringing it to his lips and kissing it gently. Louis stayed quiet, hoping Harry would offer something more than that. “I’ve been a shit husband these past few weeks, I know that.”

“Not shit,” Louis corrected, pulling Harry over to the bed and sitting them both down, still holding his husband’s hand. “But I won’t deny that you’ve… I don’t know, been different with me lately, and I’m really not sure why.”

“It’s just me,” Harry shrugged, still staring steadfastly at his lap. “It’s not you, I promise. God, it sounds so cliché, but it’s true. I know it's not fair on you, Lou, and I really am sorry.”

Louis paused for a moment, looking over to the artwork on the opposite wall. He didn’t exactly have an eye for art, that was all Harry’s doing, but he did love that picture. “It’s okay. Just… please don’t push me away, love. If there’s something bothering you, let it bother me too. A problem shared, and all that crap, yeah? We’re a team, you and me.”

He dared to look up at Harry then, and saw a tear trail down his husband’s cheek. The last thing he’d wanted was to make Harry cry, and while a tearful Harry wasn’t an unusual thing in their house, Louis wasn’t sure this conversation warranted this level of upset. He was worried now, and he turned his body round to face Harry, cupping his cheek to make him look at him.

“Harry… are you keeping something from me? Is it… me? Work?”

“No. No, I’m not, Lou,” Harry said, shaking his head gently. “I just... I guess I haven’t been feeling a hundred percent since the whole fainting thing. Must have just gotten in my head or something. I’ll make a real effort, to make things okay, yeah?”

“You don’t have to hide how you feel, though, Harry. I want you to talk to me. That’s the one thing I’ve always loved about us, though. We’ve always talked about everything, no matter how shit it is, yeah?”

He saw how Harry's cheeks flushed slightly red at that, but he nodded, giving Louis a wobbly smile. “Okay. Well, let me be honest now. I really don’t feel like going out today. To meet Niall, I mean.”

Louis wasn’t surprised. If he was honest, he was half expecting this so he just gave Harry a smile and a nod, not wanting to make his husband feel bad about it. “Then you stay here, lovely. Rest up and enjoy some peace and quiet. You don’t mind if I still go and see him for a while, do you?”

Harry surged forward and pressed their lips together quickly, keeping his forehead against Louis’ as he answered him. “Of course not. I know how much you love your drinks with Niall. I’m-”

“Don’t apologise, not again. I said it’s okay, and I meant it. Get back in your jammies and let me make you some breakfast. I’m not going until after lunch anyway, he’s got to take Thomas to footie practice this morning.”

Louis watched as Harry smiled at the thought. Thomas had only recently joined the local Under 8’s football club, and Harry and Louis had both cooed for ages over the photo of their nephew in his little footie kit Lottie had sent through, telling them she hoped they’d be there for his first match in a few weeks. They’d replied that of course they would, and Harry had quickly written it on the kitchen calendar. 

“Just a piece of toast will do me. And thank you, Lou. For understanding. For letting me be a tit for these past few weeks and loving me anyway.”

“What was it I said in those vows? For better or worse, right?”

“Heyyyy,” Harry said, his little eyebrows furrowing for a moment. “Not sure this is my worst, to be honest…”

“Christ, I’d better get the divorce lawyer on the phone now then,” Louis teased as Harry pushed him away and stood up, giving him the middle finger. “Kidding, babe. Get changed and I’ll meet you downstairs. Or did you want brekkie up here?”

“Nah, I’ll come down. See you in a sec.”

Louis took that as his dismissal and left the room, pulling the door closed behind him. He still wasn’t entirely sure why Harry had an issue with him seeing his body all of a sudden, but Louis knew that there was no way he was going to press the issue, not until Harry was ready to talk about it. If anything, he’d probably put on a few pounds and was self-conscious about it. Louis thought he told Harry often enough and showed him frequently how much he loved his body, but if Harry was still unsure, that just meant Louis had to prove it to him over again.  _ Not exactly a chore, _ Louis thought to himself with a smile as he turned on the kettle, readying breakfast for the pair.

*****

Louis parked the car and walked down the road to the small country pub where he, Harry and Niall usually met for their drinks. If Lottie persuaded Jay to take the kids, she sometimes dropped in with them but at the same time, she knew Niall appreciated a bit of ‘boy time’ as she called it, and often left them to it. It felt a little odd to be there without Harry, but he knew he’d left his husband tucked up in bed with Netflix on the iPad so he had a feeling he’d be fine. Harry was also under strict instructions to phone Louis if he wanted him home, but Louis sensed that wouldn’t happen.

He glanced around, seeing that Niall hadn’t arrived just yet so he walked up to the bar, ordering himself a half pint and taking it out to the beer garden. It was chilly but there were a few families around, the children having fun on the swings and slides and Louis watched them from behind his sunglasses for a while, smiling at the delighted screams as the kids ran around, enjoying their freedom. 

“Good afternoon, Lewis,” came a familiar Irish voice just a few minutes later, Niall sliding into the bench opposite Louis. He ruffled Louis’ hair until Louis slapped his hand away, setting down the pint glass in his hand. “Harold getting a drink?”

“No, he’s, uh, he’s not here today. You’re a lucky man because you’ve got me all to yourself.”

“Lucky indeed, but is Haz okay? He’s not sick, is he?”

“I don’t think so,” Louis said, sipping his pint and licking the froth off his upper lip, watching Niall tuck his sunglasses up into his quiff. “He’s been a bit weird for the past few weeks, to be honest. I don’t know, he says there’s nothing wrong so I just have to trust him.”

“You know Haz, he can’t keep stuff from you. Whatever it is, if there is something, it’ll come out in the wash, lad. Work good?”

Louis nodded, regaling Niall with what had been happening at work, albeit as unexciting as it was. Niall’s job wasn’t exactly the stuff of dreams either, but it paid the bills and gave him enough money to care for his family, so that was all Niall cared about. His family was his life, much like Harry was for Louis, so Louis understood completely. Louis had always had that inbuilt need to provide for his loved ones, getting a paper round at just thirteen so he could give his mum a few extra quid to keep things ticking over, and since then, he’d loved the feeling of being a provider, even when Harry was earning just as much money as he was. He also loved spoiling his husband, and that was no secret.

“How was Thomas’ practice? Me and Haz can come and watch next weekend, if he’d like.” Louis loved the thought of standing on the sidelines and cheering his nephew on, so he hoped Niall would say yes. 

“He’d love that, you know he would.” Niall pulled out his phone, loading up a video before he handed it to Louis. “Look at him go, he’s got good ball control. He didn’t get that from me so it must be the Tommo genes in him.”

“I’ll take full credit,” Louis laughed, replaying the video as he watched his little nephew run around with the ball, his bright blue football boots making him easy to pick out amongst his team. “God, he’s a good little lad, isn’t he? Future footie captain, I reckon.”

“Not that you’re biased,” Niall said, taking his phone back. “I’m just a bit glad Roisin isn’t showing an interest in anything just yet. It costs enough for all this footie shit, but with three of them-”

Louis’ head snapped up at that, his eyes going wide. Judging by the beetroot colour of Niall’s face, he hadn’t meant to let that slip either, and he suddenly seemed to find the surface of the table absolutely fascinating.

“Three? I- Niall…”

“Shit. Lottie’s gonna kill me. I’m a dead man. But no, we’re not… not yet, anyway. We’re… we’re trying? I kind of thought two would be enough, especially since we’ve got one of each, but… I always wanted a big family.”

“Wow, that’s amazing, mate. I hope things go to plan for you, I really do,” Louis said, shaking Niall’s hand across the table. “What? What’s that face for?”

“I just… I wasn’t sure how to tell you,” Niall started, clearly hesitant with his words. “Me and Lots… we know it hasn’t been easy for you and Harry. It felt like we were, I don’t know, rubbing our fertility in your faces or something.”

Louis sighed, shaking his head and looking out over the playground area again. “Please don’t think that, Ni. You’re family, and any kids you have are my nieces and nephews, and we both love them to bits. You know we’d never be bitter towards you both. Don’t ever feel you can't talk to us about this stuff because it wasn’t the way our lives were mapped out, Ni.”

“Christ, you’re good with words, Tommo. But thanks, for being so chill about it. Don’t say anything to Lottie, though. I’ll be in for a bollocking if you do. She gets weirdly shy over stuff like that.”

“Not that I like hearing about your attempts to knock up my little sister,” Louis began, giving Niall a wicked grin across the table as his best friend knocked back the rest of his pint, “but you can talk to me, about anything. We’re both here for you. And of course I won’t tell Lottie. I quite like you being alive, you know.”

Niall cackled at that, and kicked Louis’ foot gently under the table, the two men coming to a quiet understanding. Louis’ phone pinged then and he smiled at the screen, seeing Harry had sent Louis a photo of himself tucked up in bed, a tube of Pringles in his hand, iPad propped up on his lap. Louis wrote a quick reply, promising to be back in a while, and offering to get takeaway that night to give Harry a night off since Louis didn’t fancy cooking either. 

“Got any other plans this weekend then?”

“Uh…” Louis thought about it for a moment, lighting up when he realised it was Sunday Roast at Jay’s tomorrow, which meant more time with Phoebe and his new niece. Hopefully, that would put a smile on Harry’s face. “We’re at Mum’s for dinner tomorrow. I think just chilling with Haz, though. Trying to make him smile a bit, you know.”

“Sounds perfect. I’ve got to do some reading with Thomas for school, and Lottie wants a BBQ tomorrow if the weather holds out, so I suppose I’d better stop at Tesco on the way home and grab some stuff. You’re welcome to drop in, if you have the time.”

“I doubt I’ll be able to drag Harry away from Ellie, you know what he’s like when he gets a baby in his arms,” Louis grinned ruefully, not really minding in the slightest. “But thanks for the offer. Me and Haz would love to have you and the kids round at some point though, get Lottie to text Harry and sort something out.”

“Will do,” Niall nodded, hooking his sunglasses back down as the sun reappeared from behind the clouds. “Now, you want another half, or you gonna be a man like me and go for the whole pint?!”

*****

Louis glanced across to where Harry was sitting next to him in the car, drumming his long fingers on the steering wheel. He’d been unusually quiet since they’d left the house to go to Jay’s for Sunday dinner, but Louis tried not to dwell on it, knowing worrying really wouldn’t do him any good. Instead, he just sat back and let the radio fill the silence until they were pulling into the drive behind Phoebe’s car, smiling at the sight of the pushchair outside the front door. At least that meant Ellie and Phoebe must have had some fresh air.

“Ready?” Louis asked his husband, holding out his hand for Harry to hold as they walked inside, not bothering to knock. It was fairly quiet but Louis could hear the clinking of saucepans in the background, meaning Jay had already made a start on the meal. There was no sign of Phoebe either, but instead of Harry disappearing to find her as he usually would, he kept hold of Louis’ hand as Louis guided them into the kitchen.

“Hello, Mum,” Louis called, and he smiled as Jay turned around, smiling broadly at her son’s as she laid down the knife where she was chopping up a cabbage for dinner. 

“There’s my lovely boys. How are you both?”

“We’re good,” Louis said, his words muffled by his mum’s shoulder until he pulled back, kissing her cheek. “What can we do to help?”

“What can I do, you mean,” Harry smiled, but Louis couldn’t help but notice it didn’t quite reach his husband’s eyes. “We want to be able to eat the dinner, Lou.”

“Rude,” Louis said with a roll of his eyes. “Don’t you want to go and play baby snatcher, Harold?”

“Maybe later,” Harry shrugged, taking the bag of carrots from the side and rifling through a drawer for the peeler. “I can do these if you like, Jay.”

Jay and Louis shared a quick glance and Louis just nodded, wondering what was up with Harry yet again. He decided to leave the pair to it and he was the one who wandered upstairs, looking for his sister. He knocked gently on her bedroom door before he walked in, smiling when he saw the pair on the floor. Ellie was kicking her little legs, just dressed in a nappy while Phoebe smiled down at her, resting her head on her hand.

“She’s a little bit naked,” Louis commented, and Phoebe looked up, smiling at her big brother. “Is that what she’s wearing? Can I dress her?”

“Of course you can, Uncle Louis,” Phoebe said, watching as Louis expertly picked up the baby, cradling her against his chest for a moment, swaying himself gently from side to side. “You’ll make her doze off before Harry’s got to see her, then he’ll be peed off with you…”

“We don’t mind, do we, love?” Louis cooed, cupping the back of her tiny head with his hand. “She’s so gorgeous, Pheebs. Come on, beautiful, let’s get you dressed.”

Louis laid her out on the bed with such care, and she just gazed up at the ceiling, blinking slowly as he set out the lilac vest and floral babygro her Mum had chosen for her. “Does she need a change before I get her dressed?”

“Nah, I just put a clean nappy on. Clothes will be fine.”

Louis nodded and set to work. He wriggled the soft cotton items down over Ellie’s little belly, moving her limbs until she was all poppered up, whimpering now. Phoebe had disappeared already to go downstairs and start getting her bottle ready so Louis took advantage of a few minutes to themselves, holding her in the crook of his left arm as he stood up carefully, precious cargo in his arms. 

“You’re a very loved little girl, you know,” he said softly, walking over to the mirror on Phoebe’s wall, looking at how he looked with a baby in his arms. “You’re such a good girl for your Mummy. And I hope you know you’ll always have me and Uncle Harry around for you if you need us.”

Louis stilled as he heard Phoebe yelling for him, so he walked out of the room, down the stairs more slowly than he usually would and into the lounge, where Phoebe was shaking the bottle. 

“You going to feed her?”

“Uh, let me ask Harry if he wants to,” Louis said, and Phoebe just nodded, setting the bottle down on the coffee table in the middle of the room. “Haz… Harry, love. Did you want to feed Ellie? I’ve got her changed so I don’t mind giving her up to you for a bit.” He kept his tone light, but he still felt surprised when Harry just shook his head, not even looking over at the pair.

“You do it, Louis. I’m helping Jay for the moment-”

“Don’t be daft, love, you go-”

“I’m fine, honestly. I’ll come and sit with you in a bit.”

Louis just swallowed and nodded, not wanting to make a big deal of things now. He didn’t meet Jay’s eye before he walked out of the room and settled himself on the sofa, grabbing the bottle and pushing the teat into Ellie’s mouth. She took a moment to get into the rhythm of feeding but Louis got himself comfortable as Phoebe looked on, happily flicking through the TV magazine, enjoying a few minutes to herself.

“Harry busy?”

“Yeah, he’s helping Mum. You know what he’s like when he gets involved in something.”

Louis didn’t bother saying anything more after that. Ellie gulped down her entire bottle hungrily, and laid on Louis’ chest as he winded her, proudly cheering her on as she let out a good couple of burps before settling in his arms, eyes fluttering shut. Louis stayed where he was, his mind wandering as time ticked on, the television playing quietly in the background, but Louis was certain he couldn’t tell anyone a thing that had been on in the past hour.

“Lou, pop Ellie in the Moses basket, dinner’s ready,” Phoebe said, gently taking the blanket from Ellie’s body, making Louis get up. He kissed her forehead before he laid her down and made sure she was settled. After, he joined the rest of his family at the dinner table, sliding into his seat next to Harry, where his husband had already put a plate together for him.

“Thank you, love,” he mumbled, reaching for the gravy and drizzling it over his dinner. He tucked in, wishing he didn’t feel quite as awkward as he did right now, conversation going on around him. There was so much that Louis wanted to say to Harry, but now wasn’t the time. All he knew, though, was that it was all building up, and that at some point, one way or another, it was all going to come out.

*****

Louis managed to hold it in until bedtime, but then he just couldn’t help himself. 

“Why were you avoiding Ellie today?”

Harry looked up from where he was taking off his rings, laying them in the little dish on top of his chest of drawers, amongst his other jewellery that lived there. He stared at Louis for a few seconds before he turned around, apparently ignoring the question, but Louis really wasn’t in the mood.

“Harry, I asked you a question. And I’d appreciate it if we could talk about this.”

“I don’t  _ want _ to talk about it.” Harry’s voice was low and he dismissed Louis by stalking out of the room. His exit was followed by a thud and a loud curse word, making Louis still. He got up from the bed and hurried outside, wanting to make sure Harry was alright.

“You okay?”

“No, I’m not fucking okay, why do you have to leave your shit all over the house?!”

Louis looked down, seeing Harry had tripped on the Vans he’d left on the landing earlier, intending to take them down with him, but of course, he’d forgotten. “I’m sorry, I-”

“Well, sorry isn’t good enough! I could have really hurt myself, Louis, or the b-” He cut off, flushing bright red for a moment before he stormed into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.

Louis let out a long exhale and picked up the shoes, returning to his bedroom and throwing them in the wardrobe, listening to the clatter as they hit the wooden floor. He got back under the covers and sat on his phone, waiting for Harry to return, which he did a few minutes later, still ignoring Louis, apparently.

“Harry, talk to me. This is ridiculous. You were really off with everyone today. Mum and Phoebe noticed, especially when you acted like Ellie was a leper and wouldn’t go near her.”

“I was busy, Louis. I helped your Mum with dinner, then I washed up…”

“Yeah, and wasn’t that a good excuse. I don’t know what’s going on here, Harry, but this has to end. Now.”

“What does?”

“All of this,” Louis said, waving his hands around, feeling angry now. “Harry, we used to talk about everything. Now, you barely look at me. We haven’t had sex in ages, you don’t like me to look at you-”

“God forbid I’m not in the mood, Louis,” Harry snapped, slamming his drawer shut. “I’m allowed to not want to sleep with you, you know.”

“I know, that’s not…” Louis sighed, rubbing his palms over his face. “I just want my husband back, that’s all.”

Clearly Louis’ soft voice must have awoken something in Harry because Louis saw his shoulders slump, then his husband walked slowly back to their bed, sitting on his side on top of the duvet, pulling it tight over Louis’ lap.

“I’m sorry. I feel like all I do is apologise at the moment. But I am sorry.”

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong, or do I have to guess?”

Harry shook his head, his long hair falling into his face. Louis reached up, tucking it behind his ears, but Harry still didn’t look up at him. “There’s nothing wrong. Just… work’s been stressful, and I’ve just been worrying myself about things that don’t matter. You know how I get too introspective sometimes.”

There was silence for a minute, and Louis didn’t quite know what to say. Harry always seemed to use the same excuses when he was in a bad mood, and Louis didn’t know what to believe anymore. “So why did you ignore Ellie?”

“I just… babies pick up on bad moods, don’t they? I didn’t want to upset her, so I thought keeping myself busy was the best thing. Anyway, you got lots of time with her, didn’t you, so it wasn’t all bad.”

“No, I know. You know I love being with Ellie, but Mum and Phoebe knew something was up, and I didn’t know what to say.”

“I’ll text Phoebe tomorrow, apologise for being off,” Harry began, but Louis shook his head.

“You don’t need to do that, it’s fine. She wasn’t upset by it, she was worried, love. We all were. I’m not the only one who’s picked up on the fact you haven’t been yourself lately. We all love you.”

“I love you too,” Harry said, reaching out and taking Louis’ hand. “Can we cuddle please? I… I don’t want to do anything, but I could really use a hug?”

“You don’t even need to ask, love,” Louis replied, opening his arms. He couldn’t help but notice how Harry didn’t take off his t-shirt before he got under the covers, curling into Louis’ body. Louis went to rest his hand on the curve of Harry’s waist, but Harry reached behind him, guiding his hand to his back. Louis just went with it, not wanting to stir up another argument. “I love you, Harry.”

“Me too,” Harry whispered back, tilting his head and letting Louis kiss him for a moment. They lay there in the silence as Harry fell into a sleep, but Louis couldn’t quite get there himself. His mind was too full of questions, worries and fears for that. There was no doubt in his mind now. Harry was hiding something. What it was, though, he had no idea where to even start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Monday! xx


	5. Harry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go...
> 
> I can't wait to hear your thoughts, please let me know in the comments what you think!  
> x

It had been a whole month since Harry had found out he was pregnant. A whole month since he’d kept this secret to himself. A whole month he’d been lying to his husband. The guilt was practically eating Harry alive, but he had no idea how to even begin to tell Louis. He knew the stress wasn’t good for himself or the baby, but the longer he went on with his lies, the harder it got. 

Harry knew how bad things between himself and Louis had gotten. He was snapping at Louis for absolutely anything and everything at the moment, and while he felt awful immediately after, his hormones were sending his moods all over the place. He felt like he was constantly apologising to Louis for being a terrible husband, and he often woke up in the night and locked himself in the bathroom for a little cry until he felt better. It was a shitty situation, but Harry knew it was all his own doing.

He got up and left the house that morning before Louis had even stirred from sleep. Harry had had trouble sleeping lately, avoiding any kind of intimacy with Louis in case he felt the slight swell of his belly, and he was missing his cuddles terribly. They’d always been so tactile with each other, and Harry had always been the little spoon when they slept, so to avoid that contact with his husband was perhaps the most unnatural thing about this whole mess. He’d got dressed quietly and grabbed a cereal bar before he started the walk to the bus stop, knowing he’d avoid Liam by hopping on an earlier bus.

Harry sat on the bus with his earbuds in, playing some chart music that he really didn’t pay any attention to. He avoided meeting the eyes of the other passengers, and disembarked onto the pavement when it arrived at his stop, walking briskly to his workplace and letting himself into the still locked offices of Good Food Magazine. Harry had always enjoyed being the first one there, setting things up for the day while it was still quiet, and he made himself a sweet tea, resting in his chair, a hand on his belly as he rocked back and forth, soothing his aching lower back.

Harry’s belly had definitely popped in the last few days. It had been a month since he’d had his scan and found out he was expecting. Now, his belly was ever so slightly rounded, not enough that someone would guess he was pregnant, but enough his trousers were getting a little snug around the waist. He was paranoid about Louis noticing anything about his changing figure, so he had avoided sex, showers and even getting changed in front of his husband. He knew it hurt Louis - his husband didn’t understand where this sudden change in attitude had come from.

In the peace and quiet of the office, Harry fired up his computer and began to answer some emails, booking in a few shoots with photographers and chefs for the next few months' issues, as well as organising a few interviews. He enjoyed his job very much, but sometimes he felt like being an editor stopped him being as hands on as he used to be when he was a Features writer. Consequently, he made an effort to appear at as many things as he could, and a quick glance at his calendar told him he was having a shoot at the office with Liam later that morning. The time on his own went too quickly, and soon enough, there was a knock at his door. Liam poked his head in, frowning at Harry. 

“And what stupid time did you get in this morning?”

As Harry was about to reply, his phone pinged, Louis’ text message sitting unread on his home screen. Harry swallowed heavily before he opened it, his chest aching as he read Louis’ message, trying not to imagine the hurt on Louis’ face when he’d woken up to find the bed cold and empty next to him.

**_Not even saying goodbye to me now? I miss my husband, Harry._ **

Harry couldn’t bring himself to reply. Instead, he just locked the phone and looked up at Liam. “I couldn’t sleep, so I was here just after seven. It's fine, I got some work done since I know we’re busy later with the shoot.”

“That’s what I came to talk to you about,” Liam said as he walked into the room, sitting down in the chair opposite Harry. “The chef called me, asked if she could come in a few hours early. I said yes, figured it didn’t matter too much.”

“No, that’s fine. No one else has booked the kitchens today, have they?”

Liam shook his head, and sat quietly as Harry read an email that came in. “Harry, what’s going on with you?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, you’re acting off again. Louis texted me the other day, asked me if I knew what was up with you. He’s hurting, mate, whether you mean to hurt him or not-”

“I don’t, Liam! I love him. Just … I’m fine. We’ll be fine. Do you want to go and get ready for the shoot, make sure Jamie is ready?”

Harry hoped Liam knew he was dismissed, and it seemed the other man did as he stood up, shaking his head slightly.

“I’ll call you when the chef arrives.”

Harry just nodded, not bothering to look up as Liam left the room. Another wave of nausea rolled over Harry then, and he slid open the top drawer of his desk, grabbing out a very boring, very plain digestive biscuit, nibbling slowly on it. His appetite came in fits and starts lately, and Harry kept these biscuits on hand as much as he could, the only thing that could guarantee he wouldn’t throw up. So far, he’d managed to avoid much morning sickness, which he was grateful for as that would have really given him away to Louis, but the nausea seemed to be an ever present thing at the moment.

Sadly, it wasn’t long until Liam was calling, telling Harry to come and join him in the magazine kitchens on the lower floor. Harry quickly replied to Louis, apologising and saying he forgot to tell him he had a shoot to prepare for, which is why he didn’t disturb him, but that he loved him and would make something nice for dinner later that night. Louis quickly replied with a line of kisses, and Harry smiled, tucking his phone as his pocket as he walked through the office with a spring in his step for the first time that day.

“Hi, Harry Styles, editor of Good Food,” he grinned as he walked into the kitchens, approaching the chef who was standing next to Liam. “Lovely to meet you, Catherine.”

“You too. It’s an honour to be featured in your magazine,” Catherine replied, smiling sweetly at Harry. “Honestly, I couldn’t believe it when my boss told me you’d approached me for this opportunity.”

“Well, we have heard great things,” Harry said, watching as she started to pull things out of her bags, Liam helping the in-house photographer Jamie with some of his equipment. “I’m really excited to see what you’ve got for us today. Has Liam taken you through what’s going to happen?”

“He has. It all sounds fine to me, I’m just grateful to have the chance to show off my food!”

“It’s our pleasure, it really is,” Harry said, taking a step back so he wasn’t in the way. “I have a couple of calls to make, but I’ll be back when that’s done, I think you’ll probably have a few things ready for me by then?”

“Definitely.”

Harry slipped away and went to the break room, getting himself a tall glass of water before he headed back to his office. Gemma had emailed in that time, asking for him to call her later when he got home, so he replied replying that he would, knowing Louis would love to FaceTime his only sister-in-law as well. As was typical, he felt a little brighter now and munched hungrily on his cereal bar, giving in to his appetite as he answered a few more emails, waiting for the call from Liam.

When it came, Harry hurried back to the kitchen and burst in through the double doors, his nose being assaulted by the cooking smells. Something made his stomach turn almost immediately but Harry kept a smile plastered on his face, approaching the counter where something was already laying on a white plate, Jamie leaned over it with his camera lense trying to get a good angle on the food.

“Wow, this all looks amazing,” Harry grinned, stepping out of the way for a moment so he didn’t cast a shadow over the picture. When Jamie nodded that he was done, Harry clasped his hands behind his back, going in for a closer look. Everything looked delicious, and Harry could see Liam looking on in appreciation as well. It was when the next dish emerged that things went wrong.

“For this one, I’ve made a prawn-”

Harry swallowed down the vomit that was threatening to appear, but it didn’t go unnoticed by Liam, who cut the chef off, frowning at Harry who was by now holding his hand over his mouth.

“Harry? What’s wrong?”

With a speed he didn’t know he possessed, Harry ran out of the room and down the hall to where he knew the toilets were. He threw the door open, ignoring the loud bang it made as it ricocheted off the wall behind it and barely got to the toilet in time before he was emptying his stomach, coughing and spluttering. He dropped to his knees when the initial surge had finished and kept dry-heaving, hating how he was feeling.

“Harry, it’s me. Do you need anything?”

“Go away, Liam,” Harry mumbled, feeling more than embarrassed knowing Liam was there listening in.

“Sorry mate, but I won’t. You know you wouldn’t leave if the situations were reversed. I’ll go and get you a drink of water, I’ll be back.”

The door shut behind Liam, and thankfully, left Harry alone. He wiped off his mouth with a bit of loo roll and flushed the toilet, grateful he’d made it in time. He hurried over to the sink and splashed some water on his face, but there was nothing he could do to disguise the greenish hue or his red eyes.

“Oh mate,” Liam said in a kind voice as he walked in, a glass of water in hand. “Here you go. Small sips-”

“I’m not a child, Liam,” Harry snapped, sipping at the water. Almost immediately, he felt guilty and sighed, leaning back against the wall, hoping his stomach would . “Sorry.”

“Don’t be. But Haz … I’m worried about you.”

“Liam, I’m fine-”

“Please don’t bullshit me. We’ve been friends too long for that. Keep sipping it, Harry, or you’ll get dehydrated and then I’ll have to call Lou-”

“Don’t. Don’t call him. He’ll just worry.”

The glare Liam gave Harry then made his gaze fall back to the floor, wishing he’d stayed locked in his office where it was safe and he could be sick out of sight of anyone. He wouldn’t be judged, he wouldn’t be feeling like shit for building up all these secrets, for hiding everything.

“Harry, you’ve been so off lately. You’ve been quiet, you’re an emotional wreck, you’ve turned down food-”

Liam’s eyes widened almost comically then as he trailed off, and Harry just swallowed, gripping the glass a little tighter so Liam wouldn’t see his hands shaking.

“Oh my god.”

“Whatever you think you know, you don’t,” Harry asserted with some uncertainty, wishing there wasn’t an obvious wobble in his voice. “Just leave it.”

“You’re pregnant, aren’t you?”

“What? No, I-”

“Yes, you are! That’s exactly what Sophia had with Jasmine. Tiredness, aversion to food, crying all the damn time …”

“That’s just me, Liam. You know I cry easily.”

It was at that moment Harry put that statement to good use. He felt the tears well in his eyes and he bit hard on the inside of his cheek to try and control them but it was to no avail. His hands quickly flew up to cover his face and his shoulders shook as he tried to cry as quietly as he could, devastated Liam knew yet in a way, also oddly relieved.

“Oh, Haz … does Louis know?”

Harry just shook his head as he felt Liam lead him over a chair pushed against the wall. Harry thanked whoever had left it there, and he sank into it, still keeping his face covered. It was one thing admitting it to Liam, but looking at his best friend was another thing entirely.

“So … when- what- I have so many questions. I don’t even know where to start.”

“I found out at the hospital. When I fainted. I just … I felt so … overwhelmed by the whole thing, Li. I needed time to come to terms with it myself before I told Louis, and then it just became this whole huge secret, and it got harder to tell him, and-”

“Breathe, Harry,” Liam coaxed, rubbing Harry’s back now. “Do … Do you know how many weeks you are?”

Harry peeked up, seeing Liam’s kind brown eyes looking down at him, no judgement to be soon. “Ten weeks. Just over.”

“Shit. And Louis hasn’t noticed when you get dressed or something? I assume you’re showing a bit?”

“I don’t let him see me. We haven’t … done anything, since everything. I’ve pretty much shut my husband out, Liam. I’m a horrible person.”

“You’re really not,” Liam said with a small smile, shaking his head. “Louis will understand, H. But you know you have to go home and tell him? Like, now?”

“He’s at work.”

“Then you text him and tell him it’s an emergency, that he has to meet you at home. You know he’ll come if you ask him to. You’re not staying here today, you’re a mess. The stress isn’t good for you or the baby. Come on, up you get.”

Harry let Liam pull him to his feet, smoothing out his shirt over his stomach, letting his hands hover there for a moment. He looked up to see Liam smiling fondly at the gesture.

“Okay. Okay, I can do this. I can.”

“You can. Louis will be over the moon, mate. You’ve both wanted this for so long, yeah? This is the dream.”

“It is. Okay, I’ll go and text him. Thank you, Liam, for everything. Not sure what I’d do without you.”

“You’re welcome, Harry.”

Harry reached for the door handle, pausing when Liam called his name again.

“Oh, and Haz?”

“Yeah?”

“Congratulations, mate. I’m seriously so happy for you both. You’re going to be amazing parents to that lucky little one.”

Harry blinked quickly, brushing yet more tears aside. “Thanks, Li. That means a lot.”

*****

Much to his own surprise, Harry had actually done what Liam had told him and he’d text Louis once he was home asking him to come home, that there was something they needed to discuss. Louis had panicked and asked if Harry was ill, so Harry had had to send a few texts promising it was nothing serious, that he definitely wasn’t leaving Louis, and that he’d tell him more when he got there, but there was no rush.

Harry had changed out of his work clothes, needing something a little more comfortable around his tummy, and was now perched on the edge of the sofa cushion, nervously fiddling with his wedding ring. He’d felt calm in Stella’s car on the way home, Liam instructing his and Harry’s PA to drop the other man at home, much to Harry’s annoyance. However, he didn’t want to worry Liam anymore than he already had so he went along with it, profusely thanking the older woman for her help before she drove off, heading back to work.

A quick look at his phone told Harry that Louis would be home any minute, given the traffic would be lighter at this time of day. The more the minutes ticked away, the more nervous Harry felt. In a way, he felt like he’d ruined the experience. This should be a moment of joy in their lives, but instead, it was one of nerves and secrets and lies. He looked at the scan picture laying on the coffee table and reached for it, staring down at it in awe for a moment before a noise caught his ear and he shoved the picture under his thigh.

He gulped as he heard the slam of the front door, but he didn’t move as Louis walked inside, kicking off his shoes against the wall as normal. Harry didn’t even have the energy to roll his eyes.

“Harry? Harry, love, where are you? Oh. Are you okay?”

Louis’ face was clearly concerned as he hurried over to Harry, crouching in front of him, hands on Harry’s thighs. For once, Harry didn’t push his husband away, but he could barely bring himself to answer Louis, or to even look at him.

“Harry, you’re scaring me. Why did you need me to come home? I don’t mind, not if you need me, but … tell me what’s happening, love.”

“I …” Harry cleared his throat, but still the words wouldn’t come. His shaking hand reached down and pulled out the scan picture, his breath coming in shallow pants as he handed it to Louis, who took it from him, frowning down at it.

“Whose is this?”

Louis’ voice was low, devoid of emotion, and if Harry was honest, it unnerved him even more. Louis’ blue eyes met Harry’s green, and Harry knew he had to tell the truth.

“It’s mine. Ours. I’m pregnant, Louis.”

It wasn’t quite the joyous moment Harry had expected. He saw Louis’ Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed, looking back down at the photo, his expression unreadable.

“This is why you’ve been weird with me, isn’t it?”

Harry just nodded, unable to deny anything now. Louis had to know the full story. 

“How long have you known?”

“Uh … since I fainted, on the bus? A month ago. They … they told me then.”

Louis tutted a little, shaking his head, and all of a sudden, Harry’s nausea was back. Louis wasn’t smiling. He wasn’t holding Harry’s hand, or pressing his palm against his tummy, where their baby was growing. His jaw was clenched, and his eyes were cold.

“And you didn’t, I don’t know, think I deserved to know something like that? That my husband’s having my baby?”

“Louis, I-”

“Do you not want this baby, Harry?”

Harry was stunned. It was honestly the last thing Harry would have ever expected to come out of Louis’ mouth. He resisted the urge to reach down and touch his tummy comfortingly, knowing it wasn’t the time for that.

“How can you say that, Louis?”

“Well, I don’t know, do I?! You’ve hidden it from me for weeks, Harry! Maybe you were deciding if you actually wanted it or not!”

Harry choked back a sob at that, shaking his head in complete and utter disbelief. This was rapidly descending into something Harry never imagined, and he was struggling to think how to turn this around before one of them said something unforgivable.

“I didn’t lie, Lou, I just … omitted the truth? I needed time to come to terms with it, I’d all but thought that we would never get a baby …”

“But it’s me, Harry. You could’ve told me. I’d have given you time. But you didn’t.”

He stood up suddenly, taking Harry by surprise. Harry didn’t know what to do, what to say. He just sat there, watching as Louis walked away from him, the picture still in his hand. He turned to see his husband shoving his feet in his shoes, fetching his keys from the little dish on the side table, shaking them in his hand for a moment.

It seemed Louis realised he had the photo then, as he looked down at it again, something passing across his face. Harry felt like that might be the moment where Louis realised what was happening, but what happened instead broke his heart. With sure and steady steps, Louis turned around and walked back to Harry. He didn’t kiss him. He didn’t touch him, or even look at him.

Louis leaned down and put the photo back down on the coffee table before he turned and walked away, not even looking back. The front door closed with a quiet click, which was almost worse than Louis slamming it behind him. Harry finally allowed the tears to come. They burst out of him in an ugly, loud sob, and his knees buckled, sending him crashing back onto the sofa. 

Everything was wrong. This whole thing was wrong, Louis leaving was wrong, Harry being alone and pregnant was wrong. It was all his fault. He’d kept it from the man he loved, the baby’s other father, and now he was paying the price. He could feel his belly tightening as he cried harder, and he just grabbed it with both hands, crying for not only himself, but what he had just possibly lost. How could everything go so wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY!
> 
> More on Thursday!


	6. Louis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments on the last chapter!
> 
> I really hope you like this one, I'm quite nervous about this too!
> 
> Let me know in the comments :)

Louis’ hands were shaking as he sat behind the wheel of the car. It felt like he was living in some sort of parallel universe where his whole life had turned upside down, but it was actually true. Harry was pregnant. Finally. They’d made a baby together, but that was the only positive thing about this whole situation. Louis’ heart ached with the realisation Harry had kept this news from him, not just for a few days so he could surprise, but for weeks and weeks on end. 

Harry had  _ lied _ . There was no beating about the bush, it was fact. One thing both Louis and Harry had prided themselves on throughout their eighteen year marriage was how they were always honest with each other, no matter what, and Harry just shattered that to smithereens, lying about quite possibly the worst thing. Louis’ heart ached with hurt over the mere thought of it, and he quickly blinked back the tears, squeezing the steering wheel tightly for a moment.

He needed to vent. He needed to shout and scream and cry, he needed to talk to someone about this, but he couldn’t go to his mum. She’d frog march him back home and make him apologise to Harry for running out on him, and he’d probably get a clip around the ear as well. Lottie and his other sisters were family, as much Harry’s as they were his by this point, but there was something holding him back from telling them just yet. He wasn’t sure it was his place, not right now, not without Harry by his side.

With a sigh, Louis put the car into reverse and drove away from the house without looking back. He didn’t bother putting music on as usual. He just sat in the silence, stewing over what he’d found out. Harry was having their baby. The family they’d always wanted, dream of, was going to be a reality, but if that was the case, why did Louis feel so conflicted about everything?

He parked up at a local park, looking around to see just a few cars dotted around. It was mainly older couples out for a leisurely walk, or parents bringing their toddlers out for some fresh air but Louis just ignored them, getting out of the car and heading away from the car, not thinking too much about where his feet were taking him. He walked, gravel crunching underfoot, steadfastly ignoring anyone who came towards him, eyes fixed on the ground.

The path eventually opened up to the lake, and Louis headed for a bench, sitting down heavily, the wooden slats warmed by the sun underneath his legs. His phone dug awkwardly into his hip, and Louis wriggled it out of his pocket, seeing a string of text messages on the home screen from Harry. His heart broke a little as he read them all, closing down the notifications before replying to any.

**Harry:** **_Louis, I’m so sorry_ **

**Harry:** **_I didn’t mean to hide it, I promise, I just needed time_ **

**Harry:** **_I’m sorry. I love you so much Louis_ **

**Harry:** **_Please come home_ **

**Harry:** **_Please_ **

**Harry:** **_I’m so sorry, I’ve ruined everything_ **

Louis shut his eyes as the sun came peeking out from behind the clouds, bathing his skin in warmth. All he could hear were the few birds that lived around the lake squawking away, occasionally splashing in the cold water. The breeze whispered through the branches of the surrounding trees, and everything felt very peaceful. It gave Louis time to think, to ponder what he was going to do next. He wasn’t intending to stay out all night, there was no way he could do that to Harry. But he did need to think, to try and push the hurt down so he could be the man his husband needed.

“Sir? Excuse me, are you okay?”

Louis took in a deep breath before he turned to the source of the voice, seeing an older man looking at him with concern.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you, but you weren’t moving, and I thought I’d better check…”

“Thanks, no, I’m fine. In my own world. Probably best you did wake me.” He jabbed at his phone, sighing when he saw it was dead. “Sorry, do you have the time?”

The man glanced at his wristwatch before replying. “Just gone half past five. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, I really am. Thank you.”

Louis got to his feet and nodded to the man again before he walked off, heading for what he hoped was his car. He knew Harry kept a charging wire in there so he’d be able to power up his phone, knowing Harry would be panicking if he couldn’t get hold of him for much longer. The car park appeared after a little while of trekking, and Louis’ toes were aching in his work shoes, not used to such rough terrain. He started the engine and made the drive to the familiar house, pleased to see his friend’s car in the driveway. He was hoping he’d have finished work.

Grabbing his hoodie from the backseat as he climbed out, Louis headed up the path and rang the doorbell, smiling to himself as he heard children giggling before the door swung open, revealing the person on the other side.

“Louis! What are you- sorry, come in, come in,” Liam said, standing to one side to give Louis room to walk in. He did, smiling tightly at Liam as he kicked off his shoes, following the other man through the house. He might be Harry’s best friend, but Liam was Louis’ friend too, and since he wasn’t family as such, Louis felt like he could confide in Liam about the whole Harry being pregnant situation. “No, Jesse, go inside-”

“Uncy Lou!”

Louis grinned and bent down as the toddler charged at him, scooping him into his arms. He ignored Liam’s sigh and kissed the boy’s cheek, laughing as Jesse squeezed him a tad too tightly around the neck.

“Careful, kiddo, Uncle Lou needs to breathe! Where’s your brother?”

“Naughty step,” the little boy said, wide eyed. 

“Uh oh. What did he do?”

“Called me a poo poo head.” Jesse pouted at that, and Louis had to stifle his laughter, feeling slightly better when he saw Liam doing the same. “Meanie.”

“Well, he’s wrong, you’re not a poo poo head,” Louis said, kissing the boy on the side of the head. “Now, I need to have a little chat with your Daddy, if that’s okay?” Jesse nodded and let Louis put him on the floor, hugging his legs before he ran off screaming for his mum and his brother. “Sorry to just drop in unannounced.”

“Hey, it’s fine,” Liam grinned, leading Louis into the sitting room, taking a seat opposite where Louis was sitting on the sofa. “So, what’s up? You look a bit stressed, Lou.”

“Stressed doesn’t even cover it, Liam,” Louis muttered, shaking his head. He felt nervous about admitting the truth to Liam, but he had to get this out now before he got home to Harry and ended up yelling at his pregnant husband instead. “I got a call today, from Harry, asking me to come home from work, he needed to talk to me. I was shitting myself, thinking he was really sick, or leaving me or some shit. I know, I know, but after how things have been with us lately, can you blame me? He stays away from me like I’m some sort of pariah.”

“Louis, I’m sure that’s not true-”

“It is, Liam. Anyway. So I drive home like a madman, worrying myself stupid, right? I run in, and he’s sitting down, all quiet, won’t talk to me. Then he hands me a fucking picture. Apparently, it’s our kid. He’s pregnant, Liam, and he’s been fucking hiding it from me for weeks. Not days, bloody weeks! Who does that?! I don’t even understand-”

“I mean, Louis, I-”

“No, I’m not even joking. He told me, he’s like, nearly three months. He’s been growing my bloody child for that long and didn’t even think I deserved to know! No wonder he’s been so quiet, keeping this huge secret all to himself. Why didn’t he trust me, Liam? Why did he think I didn’t need to know something so important?!”

Louis paused, mid-rant, squinting his eyes at Liam, who was looking over at the wall now. Louis got to his feet, anger coursing through his veins again as he glared at his so-called friend.

“Wait a minute… you knew! Look at your face, you’re not even surprised. He fucking told you before he told his own fucking husband?!”

“I did, but don’t have a go at me for being there for your husband when you weren’t!”

“Well, I would have been if he’d have fucking told me!” Louis snapped, full of rage. 

“Enough … outside,” Liam instructed, grabbing Louis by the elbow and marching him out into the garden. Louis was in such a state of shock he didn’t even protest, and only pulled his arm away once they were standing opposite each other in Liam’s garden, next to the swing set. “Louis, I’m sorry, but-”

“No. No! This is a fucking betrayal, Liam! Not only has my husband lied to me, but you have been too?! How long have you known?!”

“Will you calm down? Just today. I was with him at work when he threw up during a shoot. It wasn’t really hard to put two and two together, I’ve been through all this before. I was the one who sent him home. But I guessed, okay, he didn’t tell me. He didn’t want to tell me anything, Louis, but I made him. He’s in a right mess over this whole thing.”

“Oh, don’t worry, he showed me the crocodile tears earlier on-”

“You’re being a twat, Louis, stop it-”

“Boys. Can you calm down, please? The kids are in here, and they really don’t need to hear that kind of language.” Jasmine was in Sophia’s arms, but still Louis was a bit scared of her. It seemed Liam was too because he apologised softly, waving to his daughter as Sophia disappeared back indoors, closing the door behind her. 

“As I was saying, you  _ are _ being a twat. I’m shocked Harry didn’t tell you, okay? I really am. But I’m sure he had his reasons, and knowing Harry, he’s been struggling with this. But you know what makes me more angry than Harry hiding this? You being here. Because if you’re here, Louis, who’s there with him? He’s pregnant. He’s emotional. He needs you, and what did you do? Run away.”

Louis scoffed, shaking his head. Hearing it like that made him sound like a bad person, but he wasn’t. He was allowed to be angry Harry had hidden this from him, he wasn’t doing it to be intentionally rude to his husband. Still, he’d expected a little sympathy from his friend, but it seemed he wasn’t even entitled to that.

“Oh, fuck off, Liam,” Louis said. Suave, very suave. “Don’t even pretend you know how I feel-”

“No, I don’t. But I’m a dad, Louis. I know how I’d feel if Sophia had hidden it from me, but at the same time, she’d have had her reasons for it, and I’d have respected it. What you need to remember, Lou, is that you’re not going through this. Harry is. This isn’t your thing to get on your high horse about.”

Louis shrugged defensively, wondering how to deal with this. “What do you mean? It’s my child, too.”

“But it’s not your body, is it? It’s Harry’s. He’s the one coping with the hormones, the changes, everything that comes with it. And he’s been doing that alone, Louis. All these years, you’ve both come to terms with the fact you weren’t having children. All of a sudden, that’s changed. You didn’t plan for it. He’s probably absolutely terrified. Look, come and sit over here for a minute.”

Louis nodded and followed Liam to the plastic chairs sat on the lawn beside a small pile of garden toys.

“When we found out we were expecting Jasmine, Sophia was so scared. She didn’t know how she was going to cope with being pregnant, and being a mum to the twins. She cried herself to sleep for weeks, until we worked things out. That’s where Harry’s at. He’s wondering how the hell he’s going to cope with this huge change in his life. Harry’s not a naive knocked-up teenager, Louis. He’s an adult, and he knows exactly what this means for his life, for the both of you.”

All of a sudden, Louis felt very small. This should have been something he realised, not something his best friend needed to tell him. As much as he was annoyed at Harry for keeping this from him, he was starting to see it perhaps wasn’t as black and white as he’d initially thought.

“You’ve got plans, I know that. Harry’s showed me the kitchen and stuff, and your music room. To him, this means all that has to be put on hold. Everything in your lives is going to change, and he knows that.”

“I hope he doesn’t want to- you know …” Louis trailed off, unable to say the horrifying words.

“No. Definitely not, not the way he was touching his stomach. But he needs you. Of course you have a right to be hurt, Lou, anybody would be. But you need to understand it from Harry’s point of view too. Be angry, but come to me, or to Niall. Let us be your place to vent. Because Harry needs your strength. He needs you to hold his hand through this, and to tell him it’s going to be okay, that you’re there for him.”

Louis’ lower lip wobbled then, and he just managed to give Liam a quick nod before focusing again on the grass, nudging a toy car with his toe. He knew he’d been gone for hours now, and that meant Harry had been alone this whole time. Walking out was one thing, but staying away for this amount of time… that wasn’t okay, and Louis knew it.

“You’re right. I know you are. Shit, Liam, I’ve fucked up, haven't I?”

“Go home, Louis. Sort it out with Harry. It’ll be okay, you know.”

Louis nodded, getting nervously to his feet. He’d said some horrible things to Liam, and the guilt was setting in.

“I’m sorry, Liam.”

Liam didn’t speak. Instead, he just pulled Louis into a hug, patting him gently on the back before he released him, nudging him in the direction of the house.

“Stop by the bakery on your way home. He’s been eating those cinnamon whirls things like they’re going out of fashion at work. I’m sure he’d appreciate it.”

Louis just nodded and followed Liam back into the house. He hugged Sophia who was sat with Jesse and Calvin on either side in their pyjamas, reading them a story. He apologised quietly for his behaviour, and kissed each of the boys before finally leaving and going out to his car, feeling suddenly nervous at the thought of going home to Harry.

He did as Liam said, stopping at a small supermarket to grab something for Harry, as well as a bunch of tulips, Harry’s favourite flowers. The sun had almost set as Louis parked up outside their house, heart racing a little when he saw there were no lights on, that the house was shrouded in darkness. He closed the car door quietly and walked inside, standing still for a moment, hearing no sign of Harry at all.

Louis was grateful he didn’t flick on the lights as he walked into the living room, because as he walked in, flowers and bakery bag in hand, he saw Harry curled up, a hand on his stomach, head on a cushion, sound asleep. He walked over and tucked a lock of hair behind Harry’s ear, wondering whether or not to wake him up. Louis was a little worried sleeping like this wouldn’t be good for Harry’s back, and Louis wasn’t sure he could get Harry upstairs safely on his own. 

He set the things down on the coffee table, and couldn’t help but reach out, picking up the scan picture which was still sitting there, where he’d left it. His heart skipped a bit as he saw ‘TOMLINSON, HARRY EDWARD’ in the top corner, and suddenly, it all started to click into place. Harry was carrying Louis’ baby in his belly. It was their child, one they’d made through their love for each other. Harry might have taken his time in telling Louis, but it didn’t take away from the fact they’d created a family. Louis was going to be a dad.

“Haz? Harry, love, I’m home. Wake up.”

“I … Lou?”

Louis watched Harry struggle to sit up, and immediately rushed forward, taking his husband’s hands and pulling him up, hating when Harry winced, grabbing his lower back. Before Louis could even get a word in, Harry was talking, words spilling from his mouth.

“Louis, I’m so so sorry. I promise I didn’t mean to hide it from you, it’s just I was so shocked and I needed time to get used to it. I’m sorry, I love you and I didn’t mean to hurt you, I’m so sorry-”

Louis reached out and pressed his index finger to Harry’s lips, quietening him down with a small smile on his lips so Harry would know he wasn’t angry with him.

“Can I speak now, love?”

Harry nodded meekly so Louis removed his finger, tugging Harry until he was sitting down on the sofa, the pair side by side.

“I’m sorry I left. It was a completely shitty thing to do, and I had no right to just walk out and leave you for hours, without bothering to call you or anything. That’s not okay, and I need you to know I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Harry replied softly, but Louis shook his head again.

“It isn’t. You needed me, and I did the cowardly thing. I ran away instead of talking about it with you. It was a shock, sure, still is if I’m honest, but that’s not an excuse for how I behaved.”

“Can I explain now?” Harry said, and he reached for Louis’ hand as he nodded, playing with Louis’ wedding ring.

“I just … I need you to know that I didn’t mean to hide this from you for so long. When I found out … I was so shocked, Lou. We tried for so long to get pregnant, and I felt like I’d kind of accepted the fact I was never going to be a dad. Then out of the blue, bam, everything changed. I had your baby in my belly, and … god, I’m thirty eight years old, Louis. I didn’t know how you’d feel about everything, and then it became this huge thing, and it grew and grew and I just didn’t know how to tell you.”

“I understand, I do,” Louis said, stroking the back of Harry’s hand with his thumb. “I know you’re scared. I am too, a little bit. I’m hurt you lied to me, though, love. I’m sorry I doubted that you wanted the baby, but you have to understand … I was blindsided, Harry. Honestly, I didn’t expect this. Not in a million years, but I never stopped wanting it. I wish you hadn’t hidden it …”

“I’m so sorry.” Harry’s voice was small now, and Louis hated himself for making Harry feel like this again. “I promise you, I hated lying to you, and if I could turn the clock back, I would, I’d do everything differently. But … I can’t. And I need you to forgive me, Lou. Please. I just-”

Louis cut Harry off with a press of his lips against Harry’s, both of them needing it as much as the other. When he pulled away, he gave Harry a wobbly smile, nodding gently. “Harry …” Louis could feel his eyes getting wet as he turned his body, facing Harry. “We’re having a baby. How could I ever stay angry at you or be upset at that? It’s a damn miracle! You’re giving me the best thing I could ever ask for.”

“I know that. I do. But it’s just …” Harry trailed off, and Louis could see him desperately trying not to cry, fighting the tears back again.

“What is it?”

Harry sighed, squeezing Louis’ hand ever so slightly. “I’m getting old, Lou. We never thought this would happen-”

“Harry-”

“No, let me finish,” Harry interrupted, no harsh edge to his voice at all. “I’m so terrified, Louis. I didn’t think the pregnancy would … stick. It didn’t feel real for so long, and I guess I thought I was protecting you from the inevitable pain when I lost it. The chance of me actually carrying this baby to term felt like … it was never going to happen. Then each week, I stayed pregnant and I started to think that maybe … this could work. I’m so sorry.”

“Oh darling,” Louis said, pulling Harry into his arms again. “You have to stop worrying yourself, okay? This is a gift, it really is. I just wish you’d trusted me enough to let me help you, to deal with this together. I love you, so so much, Harry. We’ll deal with this together, like we do everything … no matter what. And for my part, I’m never going to run away again, you hear? You’re stuck with me.”

“I love you,” Harry choked out through his tears, surging forward and pressing their lips together. “I love you so much. I can’t believe this is happening. I can’t believe we’re this lucky. We’re having a baby, Lou.”

The pair of them just kissed and cried until their tears were mingling on their cheeks, both of them finally happy beyond belief. It was Louis who broke the kisses first, suddenly feeling as he faced Harry, his palm against his husband’s smooth cheek.

“Can I … can I touch it?”

Harry nodded and shifted back, giving Louis room. Louis tentatively reached out, pressing his hand lightly against the small swell of Harry’s stomach, shocked to feel a definite bump there. It was small, but it was there. Instead of the softness Louis usually felt when he touched Harry’s stomach, it was harder, more rounded.

“Oh my god, I … you’ve got a little bump already.”

“Yeah … I, uh, the midwife said the baby was growing well.”

“Midwife?”

“Yeah … you know when I didn’t meet you for lunch a few week’s back, when I said I was stuck at the office? I had my eight week appointment. They didn’t do much, just checked me out, but they said the baby is okay.”

“Oh. Well, that’s good. This is amazing, Haz. That’s just … that’s our baby, you know?”

“I know,” Harry smiled, resting his hand on top of Louis’ on his belly. “Our little one.”

*****

After they shared a takeaway dinner, Harry absolutely ravenous by now and proclaiming since he was eating for two, they simply had to order two pizzas instead of sharing, the pair cleared up together. Harry arranged his flowers in a vase, getting tearful again at the sight of them but Louis hugged him from behind, hands on Harry’s belly as he whispered words of love into Harry’s ear. The anger and hurt from earlier on had all but disappeared, and Louis was now treating Harry like he was a delicate being, doing everything for him until Harry reminded him he was pregnant, not dying.

“I want to take care of you, nothing wrong with that,” Louis mumbled against Harry’s neck until Harry wriggled away from him. “Where are you going?”

“To bed,” Harry said, flicking off the lights, leaving Louis in the dark kitchen. “Are you coming? It’s been a long day and I’m exhausted.”

Louis nodded and followed Harry up the stairs and into their bedroom. Louis grabbed his pyjamas from under his pillow and was about to leave the room when-

“Louis, stay.”

Harry’s voice wobbled slightly, so Louis turned around, clutching his pyjamas to his chest as he watched Harry grab the hem of his t-shirt, pulling it up slowly, over his head and letting it fall to the floor. Next went his jogging bottoms, leaving Harry exposed in just his boxers. He looked timid somehow, his feet turned in, hands resting almost protectively over his tummy.

Louis walked towards his husband, taking Harry’s wrists in his hand and pulling them away, exposing Harry’s belly. Harry’s bump wasn’t huge, not by any stretch of the imagination. If you didn’t know he was pregnant, you might assume he’d just put on a few pounds. But Louis knew differently. He placed both hands on Harry’s belly, cupping it either side as he leaned in, kissing his lips softly.

“I love you. Both of you. I love you so much. Come to bed.”

His own pyjamas fell to the floor as Louis walked Harry over to the bed, watching his husband climb on. Harry still looked nervous so Louis knelt beside him, touching his tummy again, not able to stop now he’d started. Slowly, cautiously so he didn’t startle Harry, he leaned down, pressing a kiss to the bump. It was surreal in a way. Louis had always enjoyed worshipping Harry’s body, kissing every inch of it as much and as often as he could. It was something they both enjoyed, and right now, Louis could think of nothing more he wanted to do than to worship Harry’s pregnant body.

“Our baby is in there,” he said, awe in his voice as he trailed his lips over Harry’s rounded belly, smiling as he felt Harry’s hand come down, resting in his hair. Louis peeked up at him, glad to see a smile on his husband’s face. “Our little son or daughter.”

“Which do you want? A boy or a girl?” Harry asked softly, and as Harry said those words, Louis shivered, still disbelieving that this was really happening to them. He thought about it for a moment, but then just shrugged, smiling again.

“I don’t care. I know that sounds blasé, but I really don’t. A happy, healthy baby. God, Harry, I still can’t get my head around it. Does that sound stupid? You’re pregnant, and I- I just can’t believe it. For so long, so damn long …”

“I know. But it’s happened. I’m pregnant, Lou. And I love you.”

“I love you too. And I’m still so sorry.”

“Forget it. I already have. You’re here now, that’s what counts.”

“And I’m not going anywhere. Not ever again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More on Monday!! Thanks so much for reading xx


	7. Harry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another one, hope you enjoy this! A bit earlier than usual so it's out before we get attacked with the Golden mv lol.
> 
> Thanks as always for the comments, please keep them coming! I love reading them :)
> 
> xx

“Louis, stop tapping the steering wheel. It’s annoying.”

Harry could feel Louis’ withering gaze on him then, but he kept looking straight ahead out of the windscreen, ignoring it. They’d both been a bit snippy with each other that morning, but Harry knew it was just nerves, especially on his part. It had taken Harry another couple of days after he’d revealed the news of his pregnancy to Louis to then confess he had a twelve week scan booked in just ten days' time. Louis had gone very quiet, and then about half an hour later had joined Harry in the kitchen, asking quietly if he could come. Harry had burst into noisy tears and just nodded, letting Louis comfort him with a big hug. Now, though, reality was setting in, and both men were as nervous as each other.

“I’m sorry,” Louis sighed as he stopped at yet another traffic light. Harry definitely wasn’t worried about being late seeing as Louis had insisted they leave well over an hour early, with a pocket full of change for the hospital car park meter as well. Harry just allowed him to get on with it. “I’m just… I don’t know about all this stuff, you know? You’ve done this before-”

“Just once, Louis,” Harry said quickly, wishing in a way he hadn’t gone to that fateful appointment without his husband. On the one hand, he loved it because it was the first time he’d seen his baby, and he had his beautiful scan photo to treasure, which was now proudly stuck on their fridge, but on the other hand, he felt like it had robbed Louis of a special moment. Either way, that was the past, and Harry was trying his best to look to the future, even if Louis brought up the fact Harry had done this before every single day, bitter about it whether he’d admit it to himself or not. “This is special because it’s us. You’re here for this, and that’s what matters, okay?”

Louis just nodded, eyes still focused on the road. The rest of the journey was made in silence, and Harry stayed in the car while Louis went to pay for the car park, nervously playing with his wedding ring. They walked into the hospital hand in hand, and Harry checked them into the department, soon taking a seat side by side surrounded by other expectant parents. 

“You okay?”

“Nervous,” Louis replied, tapping his foot on the floor, steadfastly not meeting anyone’s gaze. Harry kept Louis’ hand in his own, resting on his thigh. His top was clinging to the small swell of his tummy, but Harry repressed the urge to tug at it, feeling proud to show it off, that he was the one carrying Louis’ child. He finally got to be that person. He got to be pregnant. “I’m glad I’m here.”

“Me too. What did you say to work?”

“Just said I had a doctors appointment. Told Dennis it was ‘man stuff’ so he didn’t ask anymore questions.”

Harry and Louis both smiled at that, imagining the displeased and uncomfortable look on Dennis’ face when Louis uttered those words at him. Harry had told Liam where he was, but as far as the rest of the staff knew, Harry just had an appointment elsewhere and he’d be back in the office later on. Harry felt grateful he didn’t have to justify anything to anyone.

As the door to the waiting room opened again, everyone looked up, almost collectively holding their breath as the nurse standing there consulted the piece of paper in her hand.

“Mrs Louisa Thompson?”

A rather rotund woman stood up, supported by the man at her side and together, they waddled off, following the nurse. Harry swallowed. It was a stark reality that in a few short months, that would be him. He’d be huge, with Louis’ baby inside his stomach, struggling to walk. He didn’t even notice when another nurse stepped outside, calling out a name.

“Harry, that’s us. Up you get.”

“Huh?”

“He called Harry Tomlinson. That’s you.”

“Oh. Right, yes, that’s me.” Harry got up and smoothed out his shirt for a moment before he took a few shaky steps towards the double doors, the nurse smiling at the pair. He clutched Louis’ hand even tighter, as if scared he was going to disappear and leave him to face this alone, even though Harry knew that was really never going to happen, not now.

“Follow me, we’ll get you settled in a room then get to everything,” the nurse said, his crocs squeaking on the linoleum floor as he led the way to a small side room, opening the door and indicating the two chairs before he went behind the desk, tapping at the computer keyboard. “Right. I’m Tony, I’m one of the senior midwives here. Which one of you is Mr Tomlinson?”

Harry raised his hand, giving the midwife a small smile. “That’s me.”

“I’m Harry’s husband, Louis Tomlinson,” Louis inserted, sticking out his hand and vigorously shaking Tony’s. Harry smiled to himself, knowing it was Louis’ way of making sure he was part of this. “I’m the baby’s other father.”

“I assumed as much,” Tony smiled, jotting down a few things. “So Harry, you’re here for your twelve week appointment and scan?”

“Yes, I believe so,” Harry said, squeezing Louis’ hand a little tightly then. Everything suddenly felt very real, and he caught sight of an ultrasound machine set up next to a bed on the other side of the room. “I had a scan at eight weeks, and then they booked me in for this one.”

“That’s fine, Mr-”

“Harry. Please, it’s Harry.”

“Certainly, Harry. So we’re going to have a little chat, take some bloodwork, your weight and things like that, just to make sure you’re healthy. Then we’ll move onto the baby and get you on the bed for a scan to double check they’re okay as well. Does that all sound fine with both of you?”

Harry looked across to Louis and they nodded together.

“Excellent. So how have you been so far, Harry? Any problems with the pregnancy so far?”

“Not really,” Harry shrugged, his mind suddenly going blank under the pressure of all the questions he knew were going to come. 

“He’s been a bit… stressed,” Louis interjected, not meeting Harry’s eyes as he spoke. “I’ve only recently found out about Harry’s pregnancy, and I know he struggled with it before that.”

“I see,” Tony nodded, not judging in any way, which Harry was grateful for. “How have things been since you told your husband?”

“Much better,” Harry nodded. “He takes really good care of me. Louis’ cooked me some food, he makes sure I eat plenty of fresh fruit and veg, all of that stuff, you know?”

The conversation carried on in the same vein for the next few minutes, Tony asking a few embarrassing questions which made Harry’s cheeks burn bright red, but thankfully Louis didn’t let go of his hand, there by Harry’s side throughout the whole thing. He squeezed Harry’s hand as Tony expertly took a few vials of blood from Harry’s left arm, and held him as Harry felt a little woozy afterwards, taking a few minutes before he allowed Louis to lead him over to the bed, carefully climbing on.

“Okay, Harry, if you just lift up your shirt for me, and wriggle your trousers down a little so I can get to your lower stomach, that would be great.”

Tony turned, giving Harry privacy while Louis helped him get ready, the pair sharing excited smiles. After so many years together, Harry could read Louis’ expressions like a book, and he loved how Louis’ eyes were sparkling, how the apples of his cheeks were light pink, and how he kept chewing on his bottom lip, one of Louis’ nervous tells. 

“Ready for this?”

“Honestly? I’m not sure,” Louis admitted, dragging over a spare chair and sitting next to Harry while Tony continued preparing for the scan. “You’ve done this before. It just… it feels surreal, you know? We’re actually going to see our baby, Haz.”

“I know, Lou,” Harry said, turning as Tony stood by his side, the wand in his gloved hand. “Are we ready?”

“We are. I’ll keep the screen towards me for a moment while I double check some measurements and other things, but as soon as I can, I’ll let you see, okay?”

Both men nodded, and Harry jumped as Tony squirted some blue gel onto his bare belly, smoothing it out with the head of the wand. It was an odd sort of pressure, and Harry’s heart was racing, willing there to be nothing wrong. It felt like an eternity before Tony cleared his throat, getting Harry’s attention.

“Okay, everything looks fine to me so far. I’m happy to show you the screen. I’ve actually dated you a few days over what you were told before, so you’re twelve weeks and six days.”

Harry just nodded, gripping Louis’ hand in an ironclad grip as Tony finally turned the screen, revealing their baby. Harry actually gasped aloud. This time, the baby was most definitely not just a blob on the screen, like it had been before. Now? Now it was a fully formed baby. Harry could make out a head, a torso, some little legs, and even an arm. It was mind blowing. This was his baby. His and Louis’ son or daughter.

“Oh my god, Harry…” Louis said, reaching out and touching the screen with his fingertip. “Look at them. That’s… that’s a baby. Our baby. And it’s healthy? It’s got like, two legs and two arms and stuff? Not that I’d care if they didn’t, I’d love them anyway but-”

“Yes, Mr Tomlinson, your baby is perfectly healthy. Would you like to hear the heartbeat?”

“Please,” Harry breathed, tears already welling in his eyes. In seconds, the room was filled with a loud whooshing sound, much more rapid than either Harry or Louis’ heartbeats, and the pair were startled. “Oh god, it’s so fast-”

“That’s normal for a fetus,” Tony assured them, holding the wand in place so the sound would continue. “It’s fine. I’ll print you out a couple of pictures.”

“Thank you,” Harry said, a tear trailing down his cheek. A look at Louis revealed his husband wasn’t in a much better state, just staring at the screen as the baby made a few movements. “I love you, Lou. You happy?”

“Beyond happy,” Louis grinned. “Can you feel that?” 

Harry shook his head. “No, I can’t feel anything.”

“You won’t, until at least your sixteenth week, but it can be much later. I’m going to turn it off, so you can clean up, Harry.”

Harry did so, buttoning up his shirt over his small bump and sitting up, legs dangling from the edge of the bed. “Are we okay to go now?”

“Uh…”

Louis froze then, the pair expecting to have been told they could go home and share their good news.

“I just need to grab one of the doctors. Nothing to worry about, I just need to speak to them about something. If you just make yourselves comfortable, we won’t keep you too much longer.”

Before either Harry or Louis could say anything, Tony disappeared through the door, leaving a nervous pair of Tomlinson’s behind. Harry stayed where he was, and he was grateful when Louis came to sit next to him, reaching out to press a hand to Harry’s stomach. 

“It’s going to be okay, you know. It’s probably just something routine, love.”

Harry nodded, but he wished he could believe Louis, because right now, he didn’t. He just kept his eyes glued on his legs until the door opened, and instead of Tony, an older woman in a white coat swept in. 

“Hi, I’m Doctor Miranda Lannick,” the woman said, shaking each of their hands. “Could we take a seat at the desk?”

Louis helped Harry to his feet, and they held hands as they walked over to the seats, waiting with bated breath to see what the doctor had to say.

“I’m sorry to worry you, I can see my presence has worried you,” she began, opening Harry’s file again. “Now. I’ve been asked to step in on your case by Tony. You’re… thirty eight years old, Harry?”

“I am,” Harry confirmed, swallowing heavily, wondering suddenly if his age was a problem. “Is there something wrong?”

“No,” Dr Lannick said emphatically, shaking her head, grey bun barely moving. “At your age, Harry, you are what we call a ‘geriatric expectant parent’. Anyone over the age of thirty five is considered an advanced paternal pregnancy, so this means we need to keep a closer eye on you and your baby.”

“Are there more risks then?” Louis asked, voicing the question Harry hadn’t dared to.

“Every pregnancy comes with risks, but yes, there are more associated when the expectant mother or father is older, as Harry is.”

“Like what?” Harry asked, suddenly fearful for not only the baby but for himself as well.

The doctor gave the pair a serious look before she began to speak again. “There is a higher risk of miscarriage, although the fact you have made it to almost thirteen weeks is a positive sign. High blood pressure is also a worry, as is pre-eclampsia. There’s also an increased risk of complications during birth, which is why it is important for us to monitor you closely, Harry, for the duration of the pregnancy.”

“Okay. I understand-”

“There is one more thing. Another important factor we have to consider at your age, Harry, is the likelihood of your child being born with a congenital abnormality.”

“Down’s Syndrome,” Louis said softly, surprising Harry. “Mum… when she was pregnant with Ernest and Doris, I remember talking to her about that. She had a test, an amin-”

“Amniocentesis,” Doctor Lannick supplied, seemingly a little surprised that Louis knew so much. “You’re right there. It’s a needle which we would insert into your belly, Harry, and we’d collect some of the amniotic fluid surrounding your baby. It carries a small risk, but it is something you and your husband need to consider. I don’t need an answer now as we wouldn’t look to test you until around sixteen or seventeen weeks.”

“We could talk to Mum,” Louis said but Harry couldn’t concentrate. He’d gone from feeling elated about seeing his baby for the first time to completely shell shocked, realising there could be something wrong with his baby, and it would be entirely his fault. “Harry? Love, talk to me.”

“I can’t,” Harry mumbled, willing himself not to cry.

“I’m sorry that we’ve had to discuss this, but as with all of our expectant parents, we have to be completely open and honest about things. It’s important for your health, and for your baby. Just for our records, can I ask if you were trying to get pregnant?”

“Not really,” Louis answered, and Harry was grateful his husband was answering for them, certain he wouldn’t be able to formulate a complete sentence right now. “We were trying to have a baby for years, but it just never happened. We’d written off the possibility, but we weren’t using protection or anything. We just assumed that was it, that it wouldn’t happen now.”

“Okay, that’s fine, I’ll make a note of that. We wouldn’t usually see you until your twentieth week, but I think I’d like to meet with you in your sixteenth week, to discuss the possible amniocentesis further. I’m going to give you some information to take away with you, and if you need to discuss anything more, please do give me a call.”

“My mother is a retired midwife, we’ll speak to her as well,” Louis said. “Thank you, for everything.”

“You’re welcome. Any worries in between now and then, just call and we can arrange another appointment. Do you have any questions for me?”

Harry just shook his head, his mind swimming with far too much information to even begin to process it. He just wanted to get home and curl up in bed, so he could protect himself and his baby. Louis finished up the appointment, accepting the literature and scan photos with a quiet thank you to the doctor, who opened the door, smiling at the pair as they exited, soon stepping out of the hospital and into the fresh air. Harry still felt like he was in a daze as he got into the car.

“Still want to go to Liam’s?” Louis asked, and Harry just nodded, leaving his hand on his belly as Louis drove them to their friend’s house, as they’d planned the night before. Liam was still the only person who knew about Harry’s pregnancy, although now, Harry had a desperate need to tell his Mum, and to talk things through with her. “We’re here, love.”

“Can we… can we not tell Liam anything about the amnio thingy? I just… I want to think about it more.”

“Of course, baby, whatever you need,” Louis said, pulling Harry in for a gentle kiss. “I love you, and I think you’re so, so wonderful. My baby is in there, and you’re already being an amazing daddy.”

“I’m really not,” Harry shrugged, but he let Louis push his hand under Harry’s shirt, pressing against his tummy. “Lou, that tickles!”

“Good. Let’s get inside. I can already see the twins watching us from the window…”

Harry turned and laughed when he saw two identical little faces gaping at them through the sitting room window, waving when they saw they’d been seen. Harry could already hear the screams from them before the door opened and a twin ran at each man, launching into their arms.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry,” Sophia said, jostling Jasmine on her hip. “Liam thought it would be a good idea to give them some chocolate milk, and they’ve just gone mental.”

“IT WAS YUMMY!” Calvin screeched where Louis was hoisting him over his shoulder, screaming with laughter now. “Loulou, down!”

“Never! You are my prisoner!” Louis yelled, marching in the house with the little boy dangling down his back, while Jesse just held Harry’s hand, pulling him inside. Harry watched as Louis put the boy back onto his feet, kissing him before he took off his coat, accepting Harry’s before he disappeared to hang them up. He smiled to himself at the thought that in a few years time, Louis would be doing that with their own child. “Liam in, Soph?”

“Yeah, he’s in the garden. Come and join us, we’ve been enjoying the fresh air.”

Harry and Louis manhandled the twins outside, and took a seat at the table, while Jasmine just snuggled into her mother’s lap. Liam hoisted Jesse into his while Calvin ran off, sitting on his swing, trying desperately to rock himself back and forth with his little legs.

“So… how did it go?” Liam asked after he greeted the pair, looking eagerly at them. Harry made sure to school his features into a happy expression as Louis reached for his hand, always a grounding touch.

“It was great,” Louis gushed, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a photo. “Here you go. Baby Tomlinson.”

“Awww, brings back memories, hey Soph?” Liam asked, smiling sweetly at his wife while Jesse hopped down, going to join his brother, the pair babbling in the distance. “And everything’s good? Just one baby in there?”

“God, yes,” Harry chuckled before his eyes widened. “Wow, I never even thought about the fact it could’ve been twins, Lou, especially since they run in your family.”

“Well, no worries now. We have one in there, and that’s plenty for us. Harry’s nearly thirteen weeks now, and everything looked good. Two arms, two legs, a head…”

“Always a good start,” Liam laughed, handing Sophia Jasmine’s bottle. “Honestly, I really am so happy for you guys. I know it wasn’t my place to tell Sophia but-”

“It’s fine,” Harry interrupted, knowing Liam felt a lot of guilt over letting news of his pregnancy slip to his wife. “I get it, and we trust both of you. We just need to tell our families now. I can’t even imagine how emotional Mum’s going to be. I think she’s just accepted she’s not going to be a Grandma, and now we’re going to dump this on her.”

“She’ll love it, you know she will,” Louis smiled, bringing Harry’s hand to his lips and kissing it. “Liam, I’m parched.”

Liam laughed, shaking his head as Louis’ lack of subtlety. “Come on, then. You can help me make the drinks. You two want tea?”

Sophia and Harry both nodded, while Liam chased his sons down the garden, asking them what they wanted. Harry stayed quiet as the pair disappeared inside, leaving him alone with Sophie and Jasmine. The sun was shining down on him, and everything felt very peaceful.

“How are you really?” Sophia asked, jutting into Harry's thoughts. “Believe me, I know how overwhelming all of this can be, especially when you’re just getting used to the idea.”

“It’s a lot,” Harry admitted, relieved he could talk to someone who really understood how he felt. “Like… this is all I wanted for so long, Soph. And now it’s really happening, it’s just… it’s surreal. I’ve got Louis’ baby in my tummy…  _ our  _ baby, and it’s so… it’s amazing, but so strange.”

“It will be for a while. I felt the same, especially when I found out I was having twins. But I found once I got bigger and I started to feel them move, I felt better about it all. My advice is to talk to people, Haz. Louis is one of the best people I know, and you know he’ll be there for you, no matter what. I’m willing to bet he's feeling the same as you. I know he’s not the one carrying the baby, and he’s not the one going through all the shitty hormones, but it’s still a lot for him.”

Harry sighed, nodding. “I know. I will talk to him, I promise. I just think there’s some things I don’t want to talk to my husband about, you know?”

Sophia smirked knowingly, giggling slightly. “Oh believe me, I’ve been there and done all of that, no shame here. If you’re worried about anything, just ask me. There’s a good chance I’ve been through it, so don’t be ashamed or embarrassed. Maybe it’s better you ask me than poor Lou!”

“Why am I poor Lou?” Louis asked, wandering over with two mugs in his hands. “So?”

“Nothing,” Harry grinned, pulling his husband’s chair closer. “I was just saying-”

“What’s that?”

All of the adults looked to Jesse, who was holding the scan photo in his hands, turning it around every way he could, trying to make sense of it. “Did Jas do picture?”

It was Harry who broke the silence first. “Not exactly, Jess. Come here a second, mate. Bring the picture with you.”

“You sure about this?” Louis muttered quietly, and Harry just nodded, knowing Louis would be okay with it as long as he was too. “Alright, love.”

Harry pulled Jesse into his lap, taking the photo in his free hand, the other wrapped around the toddler’s waist. “This is a very special picture, actually. This… this is a photo of a baby.”

“Where?” Jesse asked, squinting.

“There,” Harry said, and Louis helpfully leaned over, pointing out their baby in the photo.

“Where’s baby? In the shop?”

“No,” Harry chuckled, heart fluttering at admitting it for only the second time. He rested a gentle hand on the small swell of his belly, eyes focused on the little boy in front of him. “The baby is in my tummy. Me and Uncle Louis are having a baby.”

Jesse gasped, turning and looking at Harry’s tummy, prodding it gently with a curious finger. “In there? Now?!”

“Yep, right now. And when it’s all grown, it’ll come out and me and Uncle Louis can give it lots of cuddles like your Mummy and Daddy do for you and your brother and sister.”

“Can you call it Gruffalo? My book.”

“Uh… I‘m not sure about that, but you can definitely help me read the Gruffalo to the baby when they’re born,” Harry said, hoping that would satisfy the little boy. It seemed to because he grinned and slid off Harry’s lap, pressing both hands to Harry’s tummy.

“HI, I’M JESSE,” he yelled at Harry’s belly, startling Jasmine and making the adults laugh. “NICE BABY. BYE!” He patted Harry’s stomach one more time before he ran off, seemingly bored. 

“Well, that went well,” Harry said, and all of the adults exploded in laughter, nodding in agreement. “That felt good, you know. To say it. That I’m pregnant. That we’re having a baby.”

“Feels so real now that we’ve seen them. And we heard the heartbeat!” Louis revealed excitedly, almost bouncing in his chair like an excited child. “It was amazing, so fast, like… I didn’t expect that at all. And the picture was so clear, you could really see it was a proper baby, you know?”

Harry and Louis stayed at Liam and Sophia’s for a few hours, having some dinner at Sophia’s insistence before they finally left them to it, the parents needing to get their children in bed. Harry was a little bit relieved to leave that bit to Liam. His back was starting to ache, and he really wanted to get into some comfy clothes, his trousers starting to feel a little too snug to be comfortable now. Harry smiled to himself at the thought that it was their baby that was making him so uncomfortable in his clothes, and suddenly, it wasn’t such a bad thought, after all.

*****

Harry dumped the pile of old magazines in his arms into the recycling box, feeling a bit happy he’d finally gotten around to one of the jobs he’d been putting off for too long. Lately, all he saw when he looked around their house was piles of junk, and slowly but surely, he’d been sorting things out. Louis hadn’t noticed it for the most part, but Harry always made sure to ask his husband before he threw anything important anyway. It cleared his mind somewhat to tidy up the space around him, and he’d laughed the other day when Louis had asked what he’d be like when he was nesting and the baby was close to coming. Harry wasn’t entirely sure how he’d cope with that himself.

“Louis? Do you want a drink?” 

Harry paused, waiting for an answer, but none came. Now he thought about it, he hadn’t seen his husband for a while so Harry headed for the stairs and made his way up. He made it a few steps before he realised he’d forgotten the laundry so turned around, picking it up from where he’d left it on the sofa before he went upstairs again. He dumped it on their bed, surprised Louis wasn’t in their bedroom. The room that contained the small beds used by their nieces and nephews was empty too, but Harry opened the window, letting the fresh air in.

There was only one place left for Harry to check. The door to the other spare room, the one they’d designated to be Louis’ room was pushed closed, but Harry could hear movement inside, meaning it was where Louis was hiding out. He stepped towards the door, knocking gently, only entering when Louis called a quiet ‘come in, Haz’.

“Hey,” Harry said as he walked in, sitting down heavily on the sofa that had been in there for too long. Instead of throwing it away when they’d treated themselves to a new set downstairs, they’d put this one upstairs, an idea they’d both been grateful for over the past few years. “What are you doing in here, love?” Harry rubbed at his belly absent mindedly, and he only realised what he was doing when Louis turned around, smiling fondly at him. “What?”

“I love when you do that,” Louis confessed, shuffling over to Harry on his knees, his hand joining Harry’s on the small swell of Harry’s tummy. “Reminds me all over again that you’re pregnant. Sometimes-”

Louis cut himself off, blushing slightly. 

“What, love?”

“Sometimes, I can’t believe we’re this lucky,” Louis confessed, rubbing Harry’s stomach gently. “It feels like a dream, you know? That this is real. That we get the family we’ve always wanted.”

“I love you, Lou,” Harry whispered, laying his hand on top of Louis’. “Why are you in here?”

Louis shrugged, but Harry could tell there was something on his mind. “I just had an idea. Maybe…”

“Maybe what?”

“I think this room would be really good for the baby’s room. There’s lots of natural light, and it’s a good size…”

Harry was surprised. Even though they were having a baby, Harry had just assumed that Louis would still want it to be his own room, the one he’d been planning for years. Harry had watched him sketch wall to wall shelves stuffed full of their vinyl record collection, Louis’ turntable under the window on a bespoke desk he’d designed, a desk where he could sit and work if he wanted. It was something Louis had talked about when they were first dating, and Harry had been so excited once Louis had started to make his plans a reality, that they had enough money for their plans to finally go ahead.

“But Louis… this is your room, your space. You’ve planned it out, what you’ve always dreamed of, and it’ll be perfect when it’s done-”

“Harry, stop. Why would I want a bloody music room or whatever when I can have a son or daughter in here? Believe me, if I had to choose between a music room or what we have now, a baby on the way, it would be a baby every time. This is what I want. A nursery. A room for our baby.”

Harry’s smile grew. “Yeah? You had any ideas for it?”

Louis hopped up to his feet, pacing around the sizable room for a moment. “I thought a cot would be good here. We could have something on the wall, maybe something painted, I don’t know. New carpet, maybe a light grey? We could get some of those blinds like we got in the living room, have everything in white wood, the changing table, the cot… it could be really beautiful, Haz. What do you think?”

“I think… it sounds perfect. I’m… I’m so glad this has happened. That we’re doing this together.”

“Me too. I love you, Haz. And I love this little one, so much already. Is that mad?”

“No, not mad. I do too. They’re a part of us, how can we not love them?”

They kissed softly for a minute, right in the middle of the room that would soon enough be the nursery for their baby. Harry felt happier than he’d ever been, in the arms of his husband with their baby in his belly. All of his dreams had come true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More on Thursday!!
> 
> P.S. Enjoy the Golden mv!


	8. Louis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter! Enjoy!
> 
> Let me know thoughts in the comments... so much more to come...

“Are you sure you want this?”

Harry just panted, nodding frantically as he pushed his sweaty hair out of his eyes, looking up at Louis. “Yes, Louis, just do it, please-”

Louis nodded and settled on his knees between Harry’s legs, running his hands up and down his husband’s long thighs. Harry was completely naked on their sheets, and it was a sight that Louis couldn’t believe he was lucky enough to see. Harry was almost sixteen weeks pregnant now, and his bump was prominent enough that Louis couldn’t stop touching it at every opportunity. Harry was getting better at letting Louis see him naked, but this was the first time his husband had initiated intimacy, and Louis was feeling oddly nervous.

It was as if Harry could sense Louis’ hesitance because he suddenly propped himself up on his elbows, cheeks flushed and eyes wide as he stared at his husband.

“Do you not want to touch me, Lou? Do I… is it because I’m... bigger? Like, fat?”

Louis just frowned at Harry, shaking his head. “What?! No, of course not. You are  _ not _ fat, Harry, you are pregnant with my baby, and I fucking love it. You know I think you’re beautiful like this. I’m just… I don’t want to hurt you or the baby, Haz.”

“You won’t, Lou. I wouldn’t ask for this if I didn’t want it. Let’s just try. Please? I love you, and I miss this side of us. I want you to touch me.”

With those words, Harry reached down and took Louis’ hand, placing it on his hard length. Immediately, it felt familiar to Louis and he started to move his hand slowly but surely, pleasuring his husband. It felt good to be touching Harry again, Louis couldn’t lie, and the way Harry was wriggling around on the sheets told Louis he was enjoying himself just as much. 

“So beautiful like this, look at you,” Louis murmured, the words tumbling from his lips unfiltered. “So full of my baby.”

As he spoke, Louis kept playing with Harry, his free hand resting on the underside of Harry’s bump. It rose and fell with each of Harry’s breaths, and Louis splayed out his fingers, encompassing much of Harry’s belly, the skin soft and hot under his touch.

“Louis, please-”

“Alright, love. I’ve got you. Be good for me, yeah?”

Harry just nodded as Louis finally bent down, taking him between his lips. He fought back the urge to moan as he finally tasted his husband for the first time in what felt like forever. Harry was already leaking on his tongue, and Louis sucked slowly at first, teasing the head before taking Harry deeper and deeper. He closed his eyes, letting himself enjoy the sensation as Harry moaned and writhed underneath him.

“Ah… Louis, I… feels so good-”

Harry’s fingers tangled in Louis’ hair then, guiding Louis’ head up and down. Louis knew Harry needed that control so he let him take it, keeping his rhythm slow and steady, using his free hand to tease Harry’s balls, knowing it was that touch which often pushed Harry over the edge. It felt so good to finally have Harry in his mouth again, and Louis was hopeful it would be the start of their sex life again. His right hand wasn’t quite the same.

Unable to stop himself, Louis began to rut his hips gently against the bed, needing some friction on his own length. They’d both woken with morning wood, and Louis had been about to take care of himself with his hand as usual when Harry had rolled over, kissing Louis deeply and replacing Louis’ hand with his own. He’d asked Louis in a quiet whisper for him to touch him, and things had gone from there, escalating quickly, as it usually did between them.

Louis popped off, licking his lips as he peered up at his husband. “Want to finish like this?”

“In your mouth,” Harry gasped as Louis sucked him down again, his nose brushing against the neatly trimmed patch of hair at the base of Harry’s dick. “Please, Louis-”

Louis managed a nod as he started sucking again, pinning Harry’s hips down with his hands, careful to avoid any pressure on his bump. Louis swallowed the precome gathering on his tongue, hollowing his cheekbones. He knew Harry was watching when he groaned loudly, drawing his knees up, squeezing Louis’ body tightly between his thighs. There was something Louis really loved about that, his head being squished by Harry’s powerful legs.

He sensed Harry was close, and resumed his motions quicker, letting his right hand come down to stroke what he couldn’t fit inside his mouth. Harry’s shaft was warm and hard within his hand, and Louis allowed his fingertips to explore, touching as much of Harry as he could before Louis felt the familiar twitch of Harry’s length in his mouth, telling him he was going to come.

Louis sucked him down harder, telling Harry without words that he wanted this. His left hand reached up to find Harry’s, lacing their fingers as he brought him to orgasm with his mouth, humming in pleasure as Harry finally gave in, releasing into Louis’ mouth with a cry of his name, clenching hard onto Louis’ hand. It was a lot, way more than Louis had been expecting but he valiantly swallowed it down, only letting go of Harry’s dick when he was certain his orgasm had passed, his husband trying to catch his breath beneath him.

“Fuck, Harry, I-”

“On me, Louis,” Harry said between his pants as Louis hurried to get onto his knees, his hand around himself, stroking in a fast and frantic rhythm. His eyes roamed all over Harry’s body, his taste still on his tongue as he worked his hand over himself, letting the sight of Harry’s pregnant body turn him on even more. There was something about Harry like this, swollen with his baby that was really doing it for Louis, and it was only seconds until he was coming, groaning as his release splattered all over Harry’s thighs and crotch, marking him up.

“Oh my god,” Harry panted as Louis crawled up the bed, flopping down next to his husband. Immediately, Harry curled into Louis’ side, resting his head on his sweaty chest, a leg tucked over Louis’. “Louis…”

“You enjoyed that?”

“So much,” Harry replied with a chuckle, stroking his fingers over Louis’ chest, tweaking his nipple. “I’ve missed that.”

“Yeah? Pregnancy hormones making you all hot for me?”

“Eww, don’t ever say that again,” Harry said through a laugh, swatting Louis’ arm. “But yeah, I did. I don’t want to go to work now. I just want to stay in bed with you all day. Rest, relax…”

“I know. But tomorrow’s Saturday. We can do that if you want. And maybe a repeat of this morning…”

“Cheeky,” Harry said, groaning as his phone alarm started blasting from his bedside table. “Good job that didn’t happen a few minutes ago.”

“Might have put me off slightly,” Louis admitted, whining as Harry sat up, his naked back facing Louis. “What are you doing? Lay back down, I’m not done cuddling.”

“I need a shower, you covered me in come,” Harry laughed, standing up and gesturing at his crotch where it was indeed drying on his skin. 

“Fine,” Louis huffed, folding his arms across his chest.

“You coming, then?” Harry called as he walked out of their room, little bum swaying as he did so. Louis almost went crashing to the floor in his haste to chase Harry out of the room, the idea of showering with his husband again filling every inch of Louis’ brain. 

“Damn right I am,” he muttered as he hurried down the corridor and into the bathroom, eyes already fixated on Harry’s naked body under the spray. “Wouldn’t miss this for the world.”

*****

Louis looked up from his desk as the door to the manager’s office opened yet again. This time, two suited men Louis didn’t recognise stepped out, shaking Dennis’ hand before they left, saying nothing to a single person. Louis swallowed the lump of sandwich in his mouth down, ears pricked as he tried to work out what on earth was going on. Dennis didn’t look his usual happy self, so Louis knew something was up, but he just didn’t know what.

“Holly… any idea what that’s all about?”

“No idea. They arrived a little before you did this morning,” the younger woman said, a bowl of salad in her hand. “They went in there with Dennis, and I haven’t seen anything until just now.”

“God. Doesn’t feel good does it?”

Holly shook her head, and the pair both hurried to finish their lunches, keen to get back to work. There were several emails in Louis’ inbox that he’d yet to deal with, and he knew putting them off was getting him nowhere. He sighed and started tapping at his keyboard, writing out courteous replies, pleased that after all these years in management, he had a gift of the gab and knew what to say to these customers to pacify them until he could reply with a more concrete answer.

Louis’ phone pinged loudly then and he winced, hoping Dennis wasn’t around to see. Louis slid it from his pocket and rested it on his thigh, unlocking it when he saw it was Harry. He hadn’t told anyone at the office Harry was pregnant just yet, and although he was excited to do so, he just hadn’t found the right moment. 

**Harry: Had a nice delivery from a restaurant today so I’ll bring home something for dinner. Even nicked a bottle of Shloer! Love you xxx**

Louis smiled and replied, telling Harry that sounded lovely. He’d promised to give up alcohol while Harry couldn’t drink any, and Harry had come to the conclusion grape juices were the way forward. Louis wasn’t quite as convinced as his husband but if it made Harry happy, he’d go along with it. He was interrupted from his texting by Dennis appearing out of his office, walking around the floor and pausing by Pam, one of the advisors. He said something quietly and then she stood, following him into his office, the door closing behind them.

“Shit. That doesn’t look good, does it?”

Louis just shook his head, knowing it wasn’t. There was something about the hunch of Dennis’ shoulders which told Louis it wasn’t going to be good news, and he chewed on his fingernail as he waited for her to emerge, ignoring the ping of his phone, only bothering to check when he saw it was Harry, since worrying about him was Louis’ other full time job now, especially since he was worrying for two. 

It felt like hours later that the office door finally opened, revealing a red eyed Pam, wiping her tears away with a tissue, nodding at something Dennis was saying quietly to her. The entire office was quiet as she walked to her desk, gathering her belongings into her handbag. Louis felt awful and pushed back from his desk, walking over to her and placing a hand on her back as she put a framed photo into her bag.

“Pam? What’s happened, love?”

“They’ve…” she sniffed, wiping her eyes again. “They’ve let me go, Louis. They said they’re reshuffling the company, and my role was… no longer viable.”

“Oh fuck, I’m so sorry,” Louis said, not hesitating to pull her into a hug. “I wish I could’ve given you a heads up, but I didn’t know anything about this. Clearly it’s come from the top. Are you finishing today?”

Pam nodded. She explained how they would pay her for a week as well as her redundancy payout but that she wouldn’t have to come into work now, and she made the rounds saying goodbye to everyone, who all promised to meet up later in the week for drinks to discuss it. It all fell silent again though when another three of Louis’ colleagues were called into Dennis’ office, leaving shortly after and packing up as Pam had done. Louis had had enough.

He marched over to Dennis’ office and rapped his knuckles on the door, his protective instinct to his staff in overdrive now.

“Excuse me, Dennis, can I have a word?”

“Sure, Louis,” the older man said, looking much older than he usually did. Louis could see he looked haggard, but he struggled to muster up much sympathy as he took a seat, hands folded in his lap. “I can probably guess at what you want to say.”

“Probably,” Louis agreed, hoping he could keep his temper. “What’s going on, Dennis? I don’t understand why you’re letting my staff go, and I know absolutely nothing about it. Why wasn’t I in on this?”

Dennis sighed, resting his clasped hands on the desk. “This is from people on a higher pay grade than me, Louis. I’ve been ordered to take care of it myself. I’m sorry I couldn’t let you know, but they were quite clear with me that it was on a need to know basis.”

“Right. Can I ask how many more? That’s four of my team that have gone today, yet you’ll still expect us to do the same amount of work even without them. James was one of my best on the phones, and he’s gone, Dennis.”

Louis continued to sit and argue his corner for a while until he realised it was fruitless. Nothing was going to change, and, as much as he hated it, Louis had to accept it. Dennis told him that the first round of redundancies was over, but it didn’t settle the uneasy feeling in Louis’ chest. It didn’t help that all of the staff turned to Louis for information when he emerged from the office, wishing there was something helpful or inspirational that he could say, but he came up with nothing. 

“I wish I had answers,” was what came out of his mouth, everyone looking thoroughly miserable now, like they would be next to be called in. “It’s hard economic times. That doesn’t make it any easier, I know, but we’re not the only business being put through the wringer.”

“Easy to say when you’re safe and you’re in management,” someone muttered, and Louis could feel himself blush, knowing it was the truth. He quietly made his way back to his desk, texting Harry to let him know he’d had a shit day, and needed extra cuddles that night. The rest of the day seemed to drag, and instead of everyone standing around and having a chat at the end of the work day like they usually would, people left quietly, walking out with their heads bowed, the atmosphere heavy.

Louis was glad to leave, and instead of listening to the music he usually did on the drive home, he stayed in silence, walking into the house feeling more desolate than he had in a while. He dumped his bag in the hallway and kicked off his shoes, sloping through the house. Luckily, what he saw in the kitchen put a smile on Louis’ face for the first time that day, and he just stood and watched.

Harry was in their kitchen, making what looked like some sort of desert, but the best part was he wore a skintight pink t-shirt, his hair pulled back into a bun, some tight shorts wrapped around his lower half, tucked just under the swell of his bump, and he was barefoot. It was the ultimate cliché in so many ways, barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen but it was everything Louis needed at the end of a horrible day.

He stepped into the kitchen, over to Harry and wrapped his hands around Harry’s waist, resting his hands on his bump. 

“You’re everything, do you know that?” Louis whispered as Harry tucked his head back against Louis’ lips, keeping their bodies close. “You’re just what I needed today. I love you so much, Haz.”

“And I love you,” Harry said, turning carefully in Louis’ hold, their toes pressed against each other’s on the kitchen floor. “Here, try this.”

He swiped his finger through the batter in a Pyrex mixing bowl on the counter and Louis opened his mouth, sucking on Harry’s finger as he swiped the mixture off with his tongue. 

“Mmm. What the heck is that, that’s delicious.”

“Red velvet cupcakes,” Harry grinned, wiping his finger down on his shorts. “Thought you needed a little pick me up. They’ll be ready later. Dinner’s in the oven warming up. You wanna talk for a bit?”

Louis watched as Harry finished dishing the mixture up into individual cases, carefully sliding the tray into the oven with his bright pink oven gloves on his hands. “Yep.”

Louis laced his hand with Harry’s and tugged him through to the sitting room. He plopped down on one end of the sofa and pulled Harry down so his head was resting in Harry’s lap, carding his fingers through his curls. He was fairly sure Harry had already had a shower given his hair was damp underneath, and the scent of his pomegranate body wash was positively radiating from his skin.“Before I start whinging, I want to know how you are. You and baba doing okay?”

“We’re so good,” Harry said through a smile, petting his stomach over his t-shirt, giggling when Louis hitched the shirt up completely, baring Harry’s ever so slightly rounded belly. He stroked in small circles as Harry recounted his day, his voice excited as he talked about the visiting restaurant, and how he was already looking forward to the review that was going into the next issue. “But enough about me. I want you to tell me what’s put those little frown lines on your pretty forehead.”

“I do  _ not _ have frown lines!” Louis protested, reaching up and feeling his (thankfully) smooth skin. “That was cruel, Styles.”

“Tomlinson, and it made you smile, didn’t it?” Harry shrugged, grinning up at Louis. “Now enough of the joking around. What’s happened today? You really don’t look yourself, Lou. A problem shared and all that.”

Louis sighed, resting his head back on the sofa. He knew Harry was right, that it would feel like a weight off if he shared them with his husband, but he didn’t want any extra stress for Harry right now. Being pregnant was enough, and he knew the worry over the possible amniocentesis was still playing on Harry’s mind, as much as he liked to pretend it wasn’t. Still, Louis didn’t want to hide anything from Harry, so the truth was the only way forward.

“At work today… Dennis let four of my team go. He said he didn’t know anything about it today when I confronted him, but… god, Haz, their faces,” he said, staring up at the ceiling. “They were devastated. None of us saw it coming at all. And… I don’t mean to be rude, but some of them are older, they’re going to struggle to get jobs from here on, and it’s just shit, you know?”

“Oh, love,” Harry said, taking Louis’ hand and kissing it. “I’m so sorry. They gave you no warning about it, either?”

“No, and didn’t that make me look stupid,” Louis scoffed, shaking his head. “As I said, Dennis made out he had no idea, but he’s one of the highest people in the company, Haz. How could he not have known? These people didn’t deserve this. I wanted to cry when they came out, they were so shell-shocked.”

“I bet. Nothing you could have done, though, babe. It wasn’t your decision. You can give them a reference, right? Help them get something else?”

“Of course, I already told them that. Whatever they need, I’ll do it. Doesn’t stop me feeling like shit, though.”

“Well, let’s just be grateful for small mercies, huh?” Harry said, and Louis frowned up at him, wondering what he meant. “I don’t mean that to sound callous, but I’m just grateful you’re management, and we don’t have to worry about this. I’m not sure we could cope with the stress of you being made redundant, not with a baby on the way.”

Louis rubbed Harry’s belly again at the reminder, suddenly feeling very grateful for everything they had. “You’re right. I love my job, and so do you. We’re lucky in that respect. I’m a very lucky man. Got me the most gorgeous husband, and in a few months, I’ll have the most gorgeous baby as well.”

“Soppy sod,” Harry laughed, blushing at Louis’ compliments. “How are you feeling about tomorrow?” 

”Nervous,” Louis shrugged, continuing his honesty streak. “I know it’s stupid because our Mums will be over the moon, but it’s weird, you know? Telling them I knocked you up, that we have sex…”

“Louis, seriously? Your mum walked in on us mid shag years ago, I think she’s well aware we have sex, don’t you? Her shriek is burned into my mind forever.”

“Really not something I want to remember right now, Harold…”

“Oh please, it was years ago, I’m sure she’s forgotten it.”

“I hope so. My bare arse isn’t something I want emblazoned in my mother’s mind, thank you very much. Anyway… how are you feeling about it?”

“Excited. I just… I wish Gemma could be here, you know? Telling her on Facetime isn’t exactly the same. I wish she could be here to touch my belly, and cry with me as we look through my baby magazines.”

“Ask her to come down,” Louis suggested, quietening down as the oven started to beep. “Ooh, that’s-”

“My buns in the oven are ready!” Harry practically squealed, struggling to sit up and laughing as he finally managed it. “God, I am a comedy genius, Lou. You really should consider yourself so lucky you got to marry me. I could be king of the comedy roadshow, you know.”

“I don’t doubt it, love,” Louis said as Harry left the room, the smell of cakes permeating through the house. As always, Harry had distracted him from his problems, making him feel very grateful for everything he had. Not everyone could be as lucky as himself and Harry, and for that, Louis knew he’d thank his lucky stars tonight for everything that he had.

*****

“Come in, come in,” Anne beckoned from the doorway, her glasses pushed into her hair. “You look knackered, Lou…”

“Oh, cheers Anne,” he laughed, wiping his feet on the doormat before he left his shoes next to Harry’s in the hallway, the tin of cakes balanced carefully in his hands. Harry would probably disown him if he dropped it, so he was grateful when Anne snatched it from him, putting it on the sideboard. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Just had a busy week, and Harry asked for Roast Pork and rosemary, and I want to make sure it’s all okay, it’s his favourite…”

“Then go! I can entertain myself for a bit. Have you stolen my husband as well?”

“Might have done,” she laughed. “Make yourself at home, put the telly on. Think your mum is due soon!”

Louis did as he was told and sat back on the sofa, feet up on the footstool as he flicked through the telly channels. He could hear Harry and Anne working side by side in the kitchen, and he smiled to himself. Harry had worn a particularly flowy blouse that day to disguise his bump, and he’d forced Louis to take photos from practically every angle to make sure he wouldn’t give anything away until they were ready. Louis had assured him he looked beautiful, and they’d set off with excitement pulsing through their veins, the moment of truth almost here.

“Lou? You want a drink?” Harry asked as he came around the corner, a bright purple ‘Kiss the Cook’ apron now covering up his shirt and jeans. He’d purposefully not tied it around his back so it just hung from his neck, but Louis still thought he looked gorgeous. “Oww.”

“What’s up?” Louis asked, hurrying to his feet in concern as Harry rubbed at his lower back, pain etched on his face.

“I don’t know. Just back ache. I’m too old for this, Lou, my body is already protesting, and I’m barely showing…”

“Hey, enough of that negative nelly talk. You got pregnant naturally, okay? We’re not forcing anything that shouldn’t be. Your body is changing, you’re going to get aches and pains, love. Remember how bad Phoebe’s back got towards the end, and she’s a lot bloody younger than us! It’s just natural. Stop worrying yourself about the age thing.”

“Can’t help it,” Harry shrugged, his shoulders hunched now, looking a lot younger and smaller than usual. “It’s just always on my mind, you know.”

“Please stop worrying. Please. The stress isn’t good for you or-”

“Harry, these veggies aren’t going to- are you okay, love?”

Anne hurried over in concern and Louis watched his husband’s face transform as he plastered a smile on, nodding eagerly.

“Yep! Just talking to Lou for a sec. Let’s go get this dinner done, shall we? Oh, drink, Lou?”

“I’ll wait for Mum,” Louis replied, watching as Harry disappeared into the kitchen again. Louis paid the television no mind, the sound it emitted just white noise as thoughts whirled around his brain. If he was honest, he hadn’t thought too much about Harry’s age and how it would affect the pregnancy. It had come to light a little more when the doctor had informed them Harry was a ‘geriatric pregnancy’ as he was closing in on forty, but still, Louis knew neither he or Harry truly felt their ages. Not until now, anyway.

“Only me!” came a voice from the hallway, and Louis scooped his mum up into a tight hug. He helped her with the two bottles of wine she’d brought, taking them to the kitchen and setting them on the side. Harry's eyes opened in alarm when he saw them, but Louis gave a subtle shake of his head, trying to tell Harry it would be okay. “What can I do to help, Anne?”

“Nothing, Jay. We’re almost done. Go and sit with your boy, have a catch up. Actually, you go as well, Harry, love. I’ll plate up and we can eat.”

It was just about fifteen minutes later that Anne was calling them to the dinner table, proudly standing at the head as she smiled at her guests. Jay sat at the other end of the table, with Louis and Harry taking the seats in the middle. There was chatter as they filled their plates, eating hungrily, knives and forks clinking on the plates. Eventually, just empty plates were left, and Louis was leaning back in his chair, rubbing his too-small tummy and moaning he’d eaten too much.

“Oh, stop whinging,” Jay chided, helping Anne to stack everything up as Harry played footsie with Louis under the table, trying to make his husband laugh. They all decided on waiting a while for desert, and the looks Harry kept flashing Louis across the table told him Harry wanted to get this done.

“Uh, can you both come and sit down for a minute? Harry and I will do the dishwasher after, we just want to have a chat.”

The mums shared a look before they followed the two men into the sitting room, taking a seat on the small sofa opposite where Louis and Harry were sat, holding hands that rested on Louis’ thigh. There was a tense air hanging between them now, and Harry cleared his throat first, squeezing Louis’ hands tightly. 

“Uh… we have something to tell you,” Harry began, the wobble in his voice giving away his nerves. Louis was happy to sit back and let Harry take the lead, but his own heart was pounding in his chest, more than it had done in a long time. 

“Oh god, are you moving? We did wonder if you might, for work, since you haven’t been around as much-”

“What? No, we’re not moving. We love our house,” Harry said, seemingly surprised by the assumption of his mum. “We’re both settled at work. No moving for us, I promise.”

“Then… what is it? My mind is going at a million miles an hour here, and they’re not all good thoughts,” Jay cut in, an apologetic expression on her face. “Sorry, but…”

“Don’t apologise, Mum,” Louis began, looking quickly to Harry, “Love, go on, tell them.”

Harry let out a long breath of air and pulled Louis’ hand into his lap, making it brush against his bump for a brief second, reminding Louis of what they were about to reveal.

“Louis and I… we’re… we’re having a baby. I’m pregnant.” Harry subtly shifted his free hand down to cup his stomach and their eyes met, only breaking the gaze when a sob broke them apart, and they looked over, seeing Anne’s hand over her mouth, tears already spilling from her eyes.

“Oh, Harry!”

Harry quickly stood and Anne barrelled over, scooping her son into a hug as Louis made his way to Jay, sitting next to her and taking her hand.

“Mum?”

“Louis… this is… this is real? Harry’s pregnant?” Louis nodded, seeing the joy spread across his mother’s face. She reached up, both palms on his cheeks as a tear slipped down her cheek, struggling to keep her composure. “You’re gonna be a daddy, sweetheart. Oh, Louis, I’m so, so happy for you both.”

She hugged her son tightly and Louis completely relaxed in her embrace, letting himself beam widely until she released him, quickly making her way to her son-in-law as Louis was swept up by Anne now. It was emotional, many tears were being shed but it was quite possibly the happiest moment of Louis’ life.

“So, how far along are you?” Anne asked as she wiped her eyes, sitting next to her son.

“Uh, just over fifteen weeks,” Harry said a little sheepishly when he saw the look on her face. “I know, we should have told you before now…”

“We just wanted to be safe,” Louis interjected, and the nod from both mums told them that they understood. “It’s all good, though. Our baby is growing well.” He couldn't help himself from touching Harry's tummy at those words, reminding him they were there and this was really happening.

“Have you got a belly yet?” Jay asked and without hesitating, Harry stood up, pulling the material of his shirt at the back so it fitted tightly around his bump, proudly grinning over at their mums. “Oh, wow. Look at you. And this… were you intending to get pregnant? I still can’t believe this, I’m sorry...”

“Don’t be sorry! And you know we’d long ago given up,” Louis admitted as Harry sat back down, a hand resting protectively on his tummy. “It just… it happened. We didn’t expect it. It wasn’t intentional, but it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to us. We’re still a bit shocked by it all, that it's real.”

“I bet,” Jay said. “So… when are you telling everyone else?”

“As soon as we can,” Harry said, smiling again. “We wanted to tell you guys first, of course, but we’ll probably drive around, see the rest of the family tomorrow, break the news. It’s exciting to finally be able to say it, you know?”

“I just… I’m so happy for you,” Anne said, smiling through yet more tears. “I know your sister is so focused on her career, and then with you two… I wasn’t sure I was ever going to get to be a grandma. I can’t tell you how happy I am, Harry. And you’re glowing, I don’t know how I didn’t see it before.”

“He is, isn’t he?” Louis said proudly, loving how Harry was blushing under the compliments. “He moans about being too old for this, but I think he’s more beautiful than ever. I love seeing his belly grow, how happy he is to finally get to experience all of this.”

“Lou…”

“No, Haz. Let me boast about you! You’re bloody beautiful, and you’re having my baby, and you’ve made all my dreams come true.” Louis got up and walked over, pulling his husband to his feet. “I love you so much.”

He kissed Harry then, not caring that their parents were watching their every move.

“I love you too. So much. And congratulations, grannies!”

“Oh god, I’m going to be a granny! I don’t think I feel old enough!” Anne blurted out, making Jay laugh.

“Shut up, Mum!” Harry laughed, shaking his head. “Bloody hospital said I’m a geriatric dad so you’re definitely old enough to be a granny!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More on Monday xx


	9. Harry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 9... almost halfway! Hope you are still enjoying this story. Now is when it really gets going... so much to come!
> 
> Thanks for reading, as always, and I look forward to reading your comments!
> 
> xx

Harry sang away to himself as the hot water of the shower rained down on him, washing away the day. He soaped up his body, taking his time to stroke his hands over his rounded belly, still in awe of how fast he was growing. He could feel the rivets the stretch marks that were starting to appear over his skin made, and he looked down, seeing the dark red marks all over the base of his bump, grimacing at how they looked. 

Harry had always worked hard to stay fit and healthy, ever since he was a teenager. He did yoga, no matter how much Louis took the piss out of him for it. He dabbled in pilates occasionally, and he loved jogging early in the morning, especially in the summer when he could beat the burning sun. His body was a source of pride for him, and if he was entirely honest, there was part of him struggling with how his pregnancy was changing his figure already.

It wasn’t even like he could tell Louis. Louis absolutely worshipped every inch of him, especially his belly, and his thighs which seemed to be getting thicker by the day, and his hands were on him as much as they could be. Harry loved the attention, he loved when Louis touched him, kissed him… but sometimes, it was overwhelming and he had to resist the urge to shove his shirt back down, to cover up his bump and his stretch marks. It was his thing to overcome.

“Harry? You in the shower, love?”

“Yeah, almost done,” Harry shouted, quickly rinsing off so Louis wouldn’t have to come in and see him mid-shower. They’d started being more intimate again, but Harry still couldn’t quite bring himself to want to have sex with Louis just yet. Blowjobs and handjobs were fine, and Louis was being wonderful about not pushing it. Harry really wasn’t sure what he did to deserve Louis in his life, and how caring he was about everything. “How long have we got?”

“Uh, she’ll be here in about half an hour. Need any help?”

“No, I’m fine,” Harry called, switching off the shower and stepping out, quickly wrapping a towel around his waist. His wet curls were dripping down his chest as Louis walked in, smiling softly at him. “Hi, love. Had a good day?”

“Not bad. Still quiet with less of us. I don’t like it. Do you think I should shave?”

“I don’t mind,” Harry shrugged, roughly towel drying his hair. “Are you not… nervous?”

“About Daisy? Of course I am, but if I spend too much time worrying about it, I’ll make myself and the baby poorly, Lou.”

Louis sidled over, wrapping his arms around Harry’s waist, clasping them behind his back. Harry tried not to cringe at the contact. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you, you know me, not thinking before I open my big gob.” He pressed up onto his tiptoes and kissed Harry’s lips softly, full of love.

“You’re alright, love. And I think you should shave. Getting a bit long.”

Louis smiled and nodded, releasing Harry, who watched as his husband grabbed his shaving supplies and stood in front of the mirror, running his hand over his beard. Harry took advantage of Louis being distracted and hurried into the bedroom, quickly drying himself and putting on some boxers, rolling the elastic waistband under the swell of his bump. He still hadn’t managed to get out to get some more appropriate paternity wear, so was making do with his normal things, and using a hair tie (like Phoebe had shown him) to fasten his work trousers.

He’d just pulled on a pair of jogging bottoms as Louis walked into the room, wiping his face off with a hand towel, eyes flitting over Harry’s body. Harry turned away, pretending to rifle through his drawer to select a t-shirt, which he quickly dragged on and over his head, ignoring his wet curls for now.

“I’ll go and put the kettle on. I’m sure Daisy will want a cuppa.”

“Harry, wait-”

He paused in the doorway, hand stretching out for the handle as he swallowed nervously, waiting to hear what Louis had to say. He stared at a knot in the wood of the door instead of looking to his husband.

“You sure you’re okay? You know you can talk to me, yeah?”

Harry turned and smiled at his husband. “I’m fine. Just… nervous about all this amnio business, babe. I’ll be fine once we’ve talked it through.”

The doorbell rang then and Harry was relieved to have an excuse to leave the room, and flung open the door. Daisy was standing there in her scrubs, grinning at Harry. He opened his arms and she went into them, kissing his cheek before he pulled away.

“How’s my favourite brother-in-law?” she asked as she stepped into the hallway, kicking off her trainers. 

“Ooh, I’m telling Niall you said that,” Louis sing-songed as he made his way downstairs, pulling on a t-shirt. “Hello, little sis.”

“Hey bro. Anyway, it’s rude to interrupt. How are you, Harry? You’re getting big!”

“I’m alright,” Harry laughed, touching his tummy self-consciously. It felt weird that just a few weeks ago he’d felt fine about his body and being pregnant, and now all of a sudden, everything was in reverse. “And yeah, baby is growing in there, for sure. Come in, Lou, go and put the kettle on.”

“Aye aye, captain,” Louis saluted, hurrying to the kitchen while Harry led Daisy out to the patio, wanting to make the most out of the late sunshine. Harry could hear the banging of cups as Louis set about making their drinks, and Harry made himself comfortable in one of the soft outdoor chairs they’d spent a small fortune on, determined to treat themselves all those years ago.

“So, how are you really? I could see you holding back when Lou was there,” Daisy said, and Harry wasn’t surprised she could see through him and his act.

“I just… I feel really self conscious,” Harry muttered quietly, hoping Louis couldn’t hear him. “Like, I love that I’m pregnant, I really do. You know how much I’ve always wanted this, but it’s hard, you know? How much I’m changing, and my body…”

“You know that’s normal, right?” Daisy said, leaning forward and setting a hand on top of Harry’s. “Being pregnant is hard work, Harry. Your hormones are going mad, your body is changing every day… you’re allowed to feel like shit, or feel like it’s all a bit much. Just talk to someone, please? Whether it's Louis, or your mum, or even Phoebe, she’s been through it recently.”

“Thanks,” Harry said, nodding gently. “I just… I don’t want Louis to think I don’t want this baby, or that I’m not happy to be pregnant. I am, and I love him, and I love this baby so much-”

“Like I said, Harry, it’s okay to feel this way, and Louis will understand.”

Harry just nodded, swallowing down the lump in his throat. He listened as Daisy thankfully changed the subject, talking about her day, the patients she’d seen. Harry always found her career as a Special Care Baby Unit nurse fascinating, unsure how she could face seeing such poorly babies every day. Despite her career, Daisy was also emphatic in the notion that she didn’t want her own children either, claiming her job was enough for her. Harry couldn’t pretend to understand but he respected her decisions.

“Here you go, pizzas are in the oven as well,” Louis said, setting down a tray with the cups of tea, a sugar bowl and the teaspoons. Everyone dove in and grabbed their drinks, Harry rolling his sore ankles in circles under the table to try and alleviate some of the aches and pains he was feeling everywhere at the moment. “Anyone want a pre dinner snack?”

“Nah, I’m good,” Daisy said, and Harry shook his head, sipping on his too-hot tea. “Did you want to get down to business, discuss all of this before dinner, then we can move on?”

“Sounds like a plan to me,” Harry said as Louis shifted his chair across the patio and next to Harry’s. He smiled dopily up at Harry, resting his head on his shoulder for a moment. “Can you just… tell us everything we need to know, and then we can ask questions afterwards? I think I need to hear it all properly.”

“Sure. I did bring a couple of books and leaflets that might be helpful for when I’ve gone, in case you want to read anything about it. You can always call me as well, if you think of something when I’ve left.”

Harry and Louis nodded, Harry clamouring for Louis’ hand and holding onto it tightly.

“Okay. So. An amniocentesis is a procedure performed during pregnancy to detect genetic or chromosomal abnormalities in a fetus. In your case, Harry, because of your age, Downs Syndrome is a possibility.”

“What kind of possibility are we talking?” Louis asked, voicing the question on Harry’s mind.

“At your age, we’re looking at around one in a hundred pregnancies.”

Harry was a little stunned and also horrified by that information. He hadn’t expected the likelihood to be so high, but he sat still, fist clenched in his lap as Daisy continued.

“So you’ll have a scan first, so the doctor can determine the best place for the needle insertion, to ensure we are able to take a sample of the fluid surrounding your baby. The doctor will take a long needle, and it will be inserted into your bump. They’ll then extract a sample of the amniotic fluid, which is what will be sent away for testing.”

“And… will they hurt the baby?”

“There is a risk of miscarriage with the procedure. And the doctor will do their best to ensure no harm comes to the fetus, but as with any medical procedure there is no guarantee. It takes about ten minutes, and you shouldn’t feel any pain Harry, it’s more like a pressure.”

Harry just nodded, his mind a whirlwind of information. 

“Do we have to have this done?”

“Not at all. It’s completely optional, there’s no obligation for you to do this at all. The advantage is that you can be prepared if they were to find something on your test, but obviously you have to weigh that up with the risks.”

“I’ll love the baby whatever,” Louis said, his voice fierce with meaning. “I don’t care, I really don’t. And Harry, this is up to you, love. Whatever you want to do, I’ll support you. I promise.”

“No, Louis, don’t make me make that choice,” Harry pleaded, turning his body around to face his husband. “I want to do it, but only if you’re okay with it. You’ll come with me?”

“Make sure you think it through properly,” Daisy said softly, both men looking at her.

“It’s all I’ve been thinking about,” Harry confessed. “I’ve been reading things online for weeks, trying to decide what to do. I know I’ll love our baby whatever happens, like Lou said, but I want to know. I want to be prepared in case there is something. Do you think that’s okay?”

“It’s okay if it’s what you want,” Louis said, clenching Harry’s hand harder. “I understand you wanting to know… I do too, if I’m honest. But that’s our son or daughter. I love them as much as I love you.”

“Do you have an appointment booked?” 

“Next Wednesday,” Harry nodded. “We booked it in case we wanted to, they said we could cancel if we changed our minds. But I just want it over with now. I want to know.”

“I’m not working Wednesday, but I can come round after, see how you are?” Daisy offered, and Louis nodded, saying that would be nice. They’d both booked the day off work, since the appointment was in the morning, and the literature they’d read told them Harry would need to rest for the remainder of the day. “For what it’s worth, I’d do the same thing. I’d want to know if it was me.”

“Then it’s decided. We’ll do the amniocentesis,” Harry nodded, trying to sound more certain than he felt. His heart was racing at the thought of the procedure, but deep down, he felt it was for the best. “Can we… talk about something else now? If you don’t mind? I’m sure I’ll have questions later, but I don’t want to overthink it…”

“Of course we can. Louis, you’d better check those pizzas before you burn them.”

“Shit!”

Louis leapt to his feet and practically ran to the kitchen, throwing open a window which made Harry laugh. They talked about Phoebe and Ellie, work, Daisy’s holiday to New York which she’d booked with her boyfriend for August, and anything else but Harry and his pregnancy. Harry munched on a slice of pizza trying to join in, but he still felt like he was on the outside a little, like he couldn’t shut his mind down.

It was at bedtime that Harry finally decided he had to be honest with Louis about how he was feeling. He was in his pyjamas, sitting cross legged on the bed as he watched Louis undress before he slid into bed next to him in just his boxers, brazen as ever with his naked body, still as toned and gorgeous as the day Harry had married him, only serving to make Harry more self-conscious about his changing body.

“Lou? Can I tell you something? And just… let me talk, before you say anything?”

“Sounds ominous,” Louis said, putting his phone on charge and leaving it on the bedside table. “But you can tell me anything, you know that.”

Harry gave Louis a tense smile, turning his wedding ring round and round on his finger before he worked up the courage to look his husband in the eye. 

“I know I’ve been a bit distant again,” Harry started, his voice a little hoarse since he felt so emotional. “And I wanted to say I’m sorry. It’s all me. I just… I’m getting used to this whole pregnancy thing, and my body’s changing and I feel kind of gross, weird about how I’m getting big, worried that you won’t be turned on by me-”

“Woah woah woah,” Louis said, grabbing Harry’s hands. “I know you said to let you talk, but Harry… love. Let me reassure you that I’m more than turned on by your body, that I love how you are changing, and that I just love you. But I also understand that doesn’t mean you have to love what is happening to yourself.”

“I don’t hate my body,” Harry started, trying to filter his thoughts as he said them aloud. “I love that it can carry our baby, that we’ve made a baby together, and I can grow them inside me. That’s amazing, it’s a miracle, believe me, I know that. It’s just a lot to accept how different I look. I’ve always been so careful about my figure, and now it’s all out of my control…”

“You’re beautiful. I know you probably don’t want to hear that, and I don’t know if it even helps-”

“It does,” Harry insisted, giving Louis a wobbly smile. “It’s just me being stupid…”

“Your feelings are never stupid,” Louis cut in with a frown on his face. “Baby, you’re entitled to feel however you want, and I will never make you feel daft about it. I just wish you’d talk to me. I won’t ever touch you, or initiate sex or anything if you aren’t comfortable, babe. You mean the world to me, I hope you know that.”

Harry felt yet more tears well in his eyes then, cursing himself under his breath. “Sorry, just- pregnancy hormones, making me cry too easily.”

“Oh no. I’m not having that. You’ve been crying at the drop of a hat for the past twenty years, love, don’t blame our baba for that!”

Harry spluttered into laughter then, accepting the tissue Louis handed him to wipe at his eyes. “Hey, don’t bully the pregnant guy,” he whined, and Louis laughed too, pulling Harry against his bare chest, kissing the top of his head. “You’re too good to me.”

“Kinda stuck with you now, aren’t I?” Louis joked, placing a hand on Harry’s bump before quickly retracting it. “Sorry, is that-”

“Yes, Louis,” Harry said, rolling his eyes gently as he grabbed Louis’ wrist, guiding his hand back to his bump. “You can always touch my belly. That’s always okay, that’s your baby too. It’s just… the other stuff, you know, sex…”

“I’m not rushing or pushing anything. Never. This is all on you, okay? Now. Can I please have a cuddle or are you going to make me beg?”

“As much fun as that is,” Harry started, smirking to himself, his worries alleviated for a while, “I think a cuddle is just what the doctor ordered.”

*****

“Louis, don’t go-” Harry started, sitting up in a blind panic as Louis stepped away from where he was laid out on the bed, belly exposed. “Louis-”

“Love, I’m right here,” Louis assured his husband, smiling at him. “The nurse just needs to clean you up, sweetheart.”

“He’s right, Mr Tomlinson,” the nurse said, cleaning up the fluid that was all over Harry’s belly. “How are you feeling?”

“Just a bit sore,” Harry mumbled, wishing he could rub where his bump was throbbing. It had been a stressful morning if he was honest. He’d woken up feeling more nauseous than he had in a long time, but he put it down to worrying himself sick over the amniocentesis they were going to have that morning. Louis had rubbed his back while Harry had dry-heaved over the toilet, wishing he could bring something up but nothing happened. He’d forced a piece of dry toast down with a cup of sweet tea, but it hadn’t alleviated his nerves in any way.

Louis had driven them to the hospital, and thankfully, they’d been called in promptly once they arrived, being quickly introduced to the doctor and nurse who would administer the procedure. Harry could feel his whole body start to shake with nerves as he stood up, clutching Louis’ hand for dear life as they’d followed the nurse down the corridor, eventually arriving at a small sterile room, a tray of implements set up at the side that made Harry feel sick to look at.

The doctor had talked them through the procedure before he’d asked Harry to remove his top and to lie back on the bed. Part of Harry had wanted to run away at that, but Louis had soothed him, helping Harry lift his jumper over his head and laid him down, kissing him and resting a hand on his bump while the doctor put on some gloves, talking quietly to the nurse. Harry’s bottom lip had wobbled and tears had started to fall as the nurse sterilised Harry’s bump, and they’d paused, allowing Harry a moment to collect himself before they started, scanning Harry’s belly to find the optimum place to insert the needle before they did so, Harry squeezing Louis’ hand as he stayed as still as he could, watching as they collected the amniotic fluid.

“How long will the results take?” Louis asked as he helped Harry sit up, swinging his long legs around. He felt dizzy for a moment so his hands gripped the edge of the bed, steadying himself as the nurse spoke behind him.

“It should be around three or four days, you’ll get a call from us when we know the results,” the nurse said kindly, dropping the sample into a specimen bag, discarding the needle in the sharps box. “Now, Harry. You need to rest for a few days. No work, no exercise, no sex, no lifting anything heavier than a cup of tea-”

“Oh, believe me, his bum will be on the sofa and not moving,” Louis cut in, making the nurse smile. “And for once, Harold, you  _ will _ listen to me.”

“Yes, sir,” Harry said, cradling the bottom of his bump. He felt a twinge of pain and winced, and it seemed the nurse had caught his pain.

“You might feel uncomfortable for a few hours. You might experience some cramping, but that’s completely normal. There might be some spotting as well, so keep an eye for that. Any bleeding heavier than spotting or excessive pain that takes your breath away, call 999 immediately. Don’t hesitate. But complications are rare, so as long as you rest, you should be fine.”

“And he can eat? Like, dinner tonight?” 

The nurse smiled and nodded. “Yes, we encourage eating during pregnancy, Mr Tomlinson. If you have any worries, just call us or 111. We’d like you to stay for an hour or so, just so we can make sure everything is okay, then I’ll let you get home.”

“Perfect,” Harry said, grabbing Louis’ hands as he got down from the bed. “Can we go and get a drink?”

The nurse directed them down the corridor to a waiting room, and together, they walked slowly down the corridor, followed by the nurse who offered Harry some paracetamol which he refused, instead opting for the tea Louis went over to make them. Harry risked a peek down at his bump, pleased to see there were no large marks aside from a slightly red area where the needle had punctured his skin. 

“You alright?” Louis asked, handing over the plastic cup, and Harry nodded, blowing across the top of the tea. “Words, love. Don’t make me worry.”

“I’m fine,” Harry said as Louis settled in the chair next to him, resting his free hand on Harry’s leg. “Just… in the back of my mind, I’m worried, you know? What if it comes back that there’s something wrong with our baby? Or that this has hurt them in some way? What if we didn’t do the right thing? What-”

“Hey, love. Harry, we talked about this, darling. You know it isn’t going to change anything in terms of how much we love our little one, don’t you? We wanted to be prepared. This is about going into everything with our eyes open. And remember. Ninety-nine people who have this test come back negative.”

Harry nodded, but in the back of his mind, he felt like he was going to be the one in that hundred who didn’t get the results they wanted. Still, it was done now and all Harry could do was wait.

*****

“Why are you two grinning like that?” Jay asked, sipping on her coffee as Harry scarfed down the croissant in front of him, swatting away Louis’ hand when he tried to steal a piece. “Hungry, love?”

“Very,” Harry nodded, smiling up at his mother in law while Louis pouted beside him. “We got a call this morning from the hospital.”

Anne paused in bringing her cup up to her lips, staring at the couple over the top of it while Jay reached for her hand, grabbing it tightly.

“We got the all clear. The baby is fine, no sign of anything in the amniocentesis. Everything’s going to be fine.”

“Oh love-” Anne pushed up from her chair and hurried over to Harry, grabbing him in a hug while Louis was taken by Jay into a similar hug, the beaming smiles on all four faces giving away their relief and sheer happiness. Harry had collapsed in tears when the nurse had called to give them the good news, panicking until Louis had snatched the phone from him, insisting on the nurse telling him herself since Harry couldn’t get the words out. She whispered in Harry’s ear before she pulled away, her eyes shining with tears. “I’m so happy for you, for all of you.”

“Me too,” Harry grinned, sitting back in his seat, Louis by his side again. They chatted more about Louis’ work and how things had been going before finally, Harry started fidgeting, needing to move. Jay insisted on covering the bill before they all walked out together, heading into the town centre. Both of their mums had been insistent on taking their sons baby shopping, and had told a tearful Harry and Louis they’d like to buy them a pushchair, to help with the cost of things. 

“Oh, look at these, Haz!” Louis cooed, a pair of lemon booties in his hand as they walked around the shop, navigating the aisles. Harry smiled, watching Louis’ fingers touch the delicate fabrics of all the clothes around. “Can you believe we’re going to have someone small enough to fit in these?”

Harry shook his head, picking up a babygro with ‘I Love My Daddies’ sewn on the front in navy blue script. The mint green cotton was so soft between Harry’s fingers, and he bit his lip, marvelling over the fact that in a few short months, their son or daughter would be wearing something like it. He snatched up one in a newborn size and walked around, rubbing small circles over his bump as his eyes flitted everywhere, wondering how many of these things they’d actually need to buy.

“Tiny, aren’t they?” a female voice said next to Harry, and he nodded, turning to her, eyes dipping down to her swollen stomach. She was big, bigger than Harry, and he saw her looking at his belly too. 

“They really are. How far along are you?”

“Thirty seven weeks with my daughter,” the woman smiled, tucking a blonde lock of hair behind her ears. “How about you? Is this your first?”

Harry laughed, nodding along. “How did you guess? Yes, this is mine and my husband’s first baby, don’t know what we’re having though. I’m only sixteen weeks.”

“It’ll fly by, trust me,” the woman said, a small smile on her lips. “You’ve still got a lot to look forward to.” Her phone pinged then, and she took it out, reading the message on the screen. “My husband’s outside, I better go. Good luck with your pregnancy!”

“You too,” Harry said, waving as she walked away. “Jay, that’s too cute!”

“I know!” she squealed, clutching the padded onesie to her chest. “Oh, Harry, love. I never thought we’d get the chance to do all this with you and Lou. You’re both going to be such wonderful parents.”

She embraced him, Harry’s bump pressing against her stomach for a moment. Harry saw Louis walking around the corner, smiling when he saw his husband and mum hugging then walked away, chatting to Anne again. “I’d kind of given up hope too,” Harry confessed, pulling away from the hug. “But good things come to those who wait, right?”

“They really do,” Jay agreed, taking Harry’s arm and drifting with him over to the maternity and paternity clothes section. “Now, you must need some better clothes by now, Harry. Don’t think I haven’t seen the hairband on the waist of your jeans…”

Harry groaned, shaking his head as Jay started rifling through the racks, Louis just a few racks over flicking through some t-shirts. “I just … I got paid last week, I just haven’t had a chance to get out and buy anything yet.”

“Not harassing my husband, are you, Mum?” Louis asked, slipping a hand around Harry’s waist, kissing his shoulder. “Get whatever you need, love. We have savings, you need to be comfortable.”

Harry knew they had reserves, money they saved in case they needed a new oven or fridge, or if their car broke down, but he was loathe to use that money to buy clothes for himself, even if he did desperately need them. He ran his fingers over a pair of paternity leggings, the black fabric so soft between his fingers. Harry imagined how comfortable they’d be around his belly, how it would stretch around his growing bump.

“Get them,” Louis said, nudging Harry’s hip with his elbow. “Treat yourself. You’re growing our baby, love. You deserve it. Splash the cash. We never do.”

Harry looked to his husband, blocking out the rest of the world around them for a moment. “You sure we can afford it?”

“We can. Now, choose something or I’m going to choose for you…”

“Oh god, I’m choosing, I am!” Harry pleaded, making both of their mums laugh as he started grabbing things from the racks to go and try on, Louis hot on his heels recommending the most hideous shirts he could find. “Louis, stop!”

“Nope,” Louis laughed, spinning Harry around and kissing him, right there on the shop floor. “Anything to make you smile like that, my love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Thursday! x


	10. Louis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh god. Here we go. Enjoy...
> 
> Let me know thoughts in the comments! (Don't hate me!)

“And… there’s the two arms,” the midwife, Julie, pointed out, indicating on the screen where their baby’s arms were moving around. “Two arms, two legs. Everything is looking great.”

“Wow,” Louis breathed out, eyes fixated on the screen in awe as his son or daughter moved around inside Harry’s belly. “That’s just… it’s amazing. Look at that, Haz. They’re real, they’re…” Louis trailed off, not really knowing how to finish that sentence at all. 

“I know,” Harry agreed, squeezing Louis’ hand a little. “It’s amazing, it really is. Is that the heartbeat?”

Louis’ eyes flitted over to Harry for a moment before they landed back on the screen again, seeing a flashing area that he hadn’t really noticed before. “Oh my god.”

“Yes, that’s their heart. Looks perfect to me,” Julie said, holding the wand in position so the pair could see. “Now, did you two want to know the sex?”

Louis looked to Harry, his belly practically with nerves now. “You… are we sticking with what we decided?”

Harry nodded, his cheeks a beautiful pink as he turned to the midwife, clearing his throat before he spoke. “We want a surprise. We didn’t think this would ever happen for us, so… yeah, we want to be surprised when they’re born.”

“Absolutely,” Julie said, smiling at the pair. “I can print out a couple of images for you, although unfortunately we do charge for that now.”

“Oh, not a problem,” Louis said, patting his pockets to find his wallet, grateful he’d thought to grab it before he’d got out of the car. “Do we pay as we go out?”

He chatted a little more with the midwife as she cleaned up Harry’s belly, letting him get up to fasten the button of his paternity trousers on top of his bump. Louis smiled to himself at the sight, of how Harry was happily showing off his bump now, not trying to hide as he’d done a few weeks ago. He still didn’t feel comfortable enough to get completely naked with Louis, and while Louis was missing the intimate side of their relationship, Harry’s happiness absolutely came first and he was willing to take things exactly how Harry wanted to.

“Here are your photos,” Julie said, handing them over to a beaming Harry. “It’s all looking like a healthy pregnancy, so please try not to worry yourself, Harry. Any stress you put on yourself and the baby isn’t good, so just relax and enjoy every minute of it.”

“I’m trying,” Harry agreed, sliding his hand in behind Louis’. “Thank you, for everything, and I don’t mean to be rude, but I really do need the loo, or I’m going to have an embarrassing accident.”

Everyone laughed at that, and Julie directed them to the toilet, leaving the pair to it. Louis called through the door that he was going to pay for the photos, and did so, hovering near the desk until Harry waddled over, looking definitely pregnant now. The flowing shirt he’d put on skimmed the top of his bump, but the floaty fabric did nothing to conceal that his husband was most definitely pregnant, and the thought made Louis puff his chest out in pride, happy that they were finally getting to experience this miracle together.

“Stop staring at me,” Harry moaned, grabbing Louis’ hand and marching towards the exit, glancing at the other pregnant bellies as they did so. “Christ. Do you think I’m going to get that big?! That bloke was humongous! Oh god…”

“Who knows, love?” Louis shrugged, hitting the button to make the automatic doors slide open. The warm June sunshine hit them both, and Louis squinted, reaching for his sunglasses in his pocket and putting them on. He looked over to his husband, watching as he pushed his hair back with his long fingers, his wedding ring glinting in the sunshine. Louis knew his husband was gorgeous, but sometimes, it hit him like a truck that he really was the most beautiful man Louis knew, and he was lucky enough to call him his husband. “Ready to go home?”

“You don’t have to go back to work?”

Louis shook his head, grateful that his manager had given him the rest of the day off to spend with Harry, especially since he had their little surprise waiting for them at home. “Nope, free as a bird. I vote we go home, get into our comfy clothes and lounge on the patio while we can in the sun. What do you think?”

Harry stopped where he was and jerked Louis’ arm back, pulling him into a hug. “I think that sounds perfect. You know I love you, don’t you?” They kissed softly, ignoring all the other people walking into the hospital around them; doctors and nurses in scrubs, people in wheelchairs, children skipping ahead of their parents. “That’ll be us one day,” Harry remarked, watching a harassed looking father calling after his children, grabbing their hands. “We’ll have our own little one by our side. Our little baby.”

Louis started walking slowly, not wanting to go too quickly for Harry, whose hips had been a little sore that morning. Since he reached his nineteenth week of pregnancy, Harry’s bump had suddenly popped and no matter what he wore, there was no disguising it. Louis had a sense that Harry still wasn’t completely comfortable with his changing appearance, so he did what he could to make Harry feel at ease, complimenting his choice of outfits, or reminding Harry at every opportunity how beautiful he was. Louis just ignored the scoffs coming from Harry and carried on regardless.

“LOUIS! HARRY!” The pair whirled around at the sound of the names being yelled and grinned as they saw Daisy walking into the hospital in her pink scrubs, NHS lanyard swinging from her neck. “I thought I recognised you both! Been for a scan?”

Louis nodded, proudly fishing out the photos from the envelope. “Yep. All is good with baby Tomlinson! Growing nicely, and Harry’s doing well too.”

“Did you get a due date?” Daisy asked as she smiled down at the photos of her new niece or nephew. Harry moved and stood alongside her, his eyes entranced by the photos again.

“October 12th,” Harry said softly, although Louis could hear the pride in his tone. “Feels like so far away at the moment, but I know it’ll be here in a flash.”

The three of them laughed then, all agreeing with Harry’s statement. Daisy handed back the photos, apologising for having to dash but promising she’d pop around soon for a cup of tea and a chat, kissing the pair on their cheeks before she walked off in the direction of the hospital. Louis unlocked the car and got in, watching as Harry carefully arranged the seatbelt under his bump.

They drove home, chatting all the way about the scan, and how surreal it all felt still, despite the fact Harry was showing now, and there was no getting away from the fact they were going to be parents in a few short months. Harry moved the topic on to the nursery, fretting a bit over how they were going to afford everything as usual. Louis sighed, coming to a stop at a red light.

“Love, we’ve got savings. We’re not going to be using the money on my music room anymore, and there’s the kitchen money too. We don’t have to spend all of it, but it’s there, and we can use some of it. I wish you wouldn’t fret. It’s not-“

“Good for me or the baby,” Harry chimed in, rolling his eyes. “I know, you say it enough, Louis.”

Louis put the car into first and drove off, grateful they were almost home. He didn’t want to argue with Harry, let alone in the car where neither of them could walk away to calm down. “Well, I mean it. We’re not hard up, babe. Not by any stretch of the imagination. Let’s just enjoy this and get what we need, then we can save up for the kitchen again at some point. It really doesn’t bother me, you know that. I told you when we got married and barely had two pennies to rub together that as long as we had each other, we’d have everything we need, and it’s still true.”

They walked into the house together and Louis slipped off upstairs to use the loo before he walked into the room that was his music room, piles of records stacked against the wall, his turntable gathering dust in the corner of the room. He really didn’t mind giving it up, especially for his baby, but he hated that Harry worried so much about it. He stepped over to his desk and opened one of the drawers, sliding out an envelope he’d hidden in there.

“Lou! You want tea?”

“Please!” Louis called back, sliding the flap open and peeking inside. He smiled to himself and turned, walking out of the room. His eyes lingered on the photos mounted on the walls of their stairs, thinking about how soon enough, they’d have their own baby photos to add to that, finally. It might have taken them a while, but they’d got there. Louis flopped on the sofa but left the TV off, wanting Harry’s full attention. He jumped up when Harry walked back in, two mugs of tea in his hands, his shirt flapping open, chest and stomach exposed.

“Sorry, I’m just too hot. Nobody warned me about the bloody hot flushes,” Harry moaned, sitting down and fanning himself with the TV guide. Louis pulled his husband’s already swollen feet and ankles into his lap and stroked the skin gently, wishing he could do more to help. “What’s that?” Harry asked, nodding in the direction of the envelope by Louis’ legs.

“I, uh…” Louis cleared his throat before he turned his body slightly, facing Harry fully. He had a feeling Harry would be pleased, but there would be part of his husband that would tell him off as well, but Louis didn’t care. He wanted to do this, and it was important to him that they had a last hurrah together, so to speak. “I did something. For us. You can open it.”

Harry frowned as he accepted the envelope, opening it and pulling out the contents. His eyes met Louis’ again for a moment before he started to read, his jaw dropping as he realised what it was. “Oh Louis, you didn’t. Oh my gosh…” When Harry looked up again, he was smiling widely and his dimples were popping, utter delight on his face, and it was that which made Louis so happy he’d gone ahead and booked it anyway. “Majorca?!”

“Just a week, but I thought we deserved a little holiday before you’re no longer allowed to fly anymore. Feels like too long since Greece, and apparently a babymoon is a thing, I googled it. Nothing fancy, just a little villa in a complex, but-“ He was cut off as Harry launched himself over to Louis, pressing their lips together in a clumsy kiss. Louis laughed into it, rearranging them so Harry’s bump was safe, and he kissed his husband back, so happy he’d made Harry smile again. “You like it then?”

“I love it! I’ve missed us going away, I thought it wouldn’t happen now but… three weeks to go! I’m so excited, god, the sun, the beach… the pool! I can swim, right?”Louis nodded, letting Harry sit back, eyes raking eagerly over the hotel information that was printed out for him. “

“You can. I asked Daisy about all of that, and yes, it’s fine, babe. That’s why I didn’t go for a hotel. This way, you can swim all you want and not worry about people looking at you, or- why are you looking at me like that?” Louis reached up, untucking Harry’s lip from where it was nestled between his rows of teeth. “Haz?”

Harry blushed as he whispered his next words, taking Louis’ hand. “You’re so thoughtful. You didn’t have to go to all that trouble for me.”

“I really did,” Louis said emphatically, the pair now looking at the information again, Louis already imagining how warm it was going to be, and how relaxed it would make Harry to get away from everything, even if it was just for a week. “You deserve this. It’s been a hell of a few months, for the both of us, but especially for you. You’re pregnant, growing a whole human in there and you deserve a rest, to just totally chill out. We need this time, for us.”

Harry just stared in wonder again at a picture of the villa Louis had book, the white bricks looking even brighter in the Spanish sun, beautiful colourful plants adorning the garden area. “I can’t wait. When do we fly again?” He rifled through until he found the printout from the EasyJet website, grinning at the date. “Okay, so 3rd of July. I need to go shopping, Lou, I need beachwear for this belly! Oh god, I need to tell Mum!”

Louis watched as Harry’s shaky hands tried and failed to shove the pieces of paper back into the envelope before he failed, leaving it on the sofa as he struggled to get to his feet, holding his bump as he stood up. “You alright?”

“Yep! Never better, actually. This has seriously cheered me up, Lou. Not that I was miserable or anything, not today, but this is what I need. You know me so well, don’t you?”

Louis just shrugged, smiling to himself at just how excited his husband was. “Well, it’s been like twenty years, love. I like to think I know you by now. Give us a kiss before you go off.”

Harry obliged, leaning down and pressing their lips together, but before he could walk off, Louis held his hips, looking up at Harry, his bump practically in his face now. He reached up and softly kissed Harry’s bump, the skin warm and firm under his lips. Harry’s own hands came to rest on Louis’ shoulders, and they stared at each other for a moment, the world almost freezing around them for a second.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Louis replied, finally letting Harry escape to tell his family their news. It had a worthy use of some of their savings, and already, Louis felt like he was counting down the days. The babymoon couldn’t come soon enough.

*****

Louis sighed, trying desperately to keep his temper as he stared across the desk at his boss, the collar of his shirt suddenly feeling too stifling. He tucked his fingers inside it, pulling it away from the skin of his neck. It was amazing how he’d gone from being in such a good mood the day before when he’d revealed his surprise holiday to Harry, the pair spending the night in bed together with the laptop on Louis’ lap as they googled restaurants and things to do around where their villa was. Now, though, Louis was sure his blood pressure was sky high, and he was close to walking out, as unprofessional as that would be.

“Dennis, I can assure you I personally signed off on those files, and I ensured they were submitted in plenty of time for the deadline.”

“My auditors say otherwise, Louis,” the other man said, clasping his hands and resting them on the wooden surface, not breaking Louis’ gaze. “I’m sorry to sound like I’m doubting you and your abilities-”

“Dennis, if you really were sorry, you wouldn’t be speaking to me about this. I’ve worked here for nearly a decade. You know how seriously I take my work commitments, and how much pride I take in everything I do.”

The man opposite him nodded, ignoring the ping that came from his computer then. “I know that. It’s why I hired you. I saw something in you, Louis, something I thought I could work with, nurture. And I was right, you’re an excellent manager, but you can’t deny things have gotten a bit lax lately.”

Louis’ back stiffened at that, and he shuffled in his seat, folding his arms across his chest in a defensive pose, unable to help himself. “And what exactly do you mean by that?”

“I’m sorry to mention this, I really am. But you can’t deny that your attention has been elsewhere lately, and while I totally understand-”

“Please tell me you’re not insinuating that my pregnant husband is a  _ distraction _ to me.”

Dennis shifted awkwardly in his seat, not meeting Louis’ eye for a moment. “I mean, I understand, Louis. My wife and I have three children, I know how-”

Louis lowered his voice, sending daggers at the other man opposite him, anger pulsing through his veins. He’d worked so hard to make sure his work wasn’t affected by Harry’s pregnancy, and aside from the two scans, which Louis knew he was legally allowed time off to attend, nothing was untoward. All of his paperwork was turned in at the right time, he was there for his staff. Louis wasn’t sure what more he could do. “Frankly, Dennis, I’m insulted that you’ve said this to me. When I am here at work, I’m focused entirely on my work. And you know when I had time off for Harry’s recent medical appointment, I still sent my work on to you later that evening.”

Dennis nodded sombrely, as if he sensed Louis’ anger and wanted to pacify him. “I understand that, and you’re right, you did. But-”

“No buts. If I were a woman, Dennis, you would never have voiced to me what you just did. You could get in a hell of a lot of trouble. But because it’s my husband who is pregnant, it’s fine to make up accusations about my work because of some issues in the company that have nothing to do with me? I won’t take it, Dennis. Enjoy the rest of your evening.”

Louis didn’t give Dennis a chance to speak. He pushed back from his chair and took a breath, looking down at the floor as he did so. When he felt he’d collected himself enough, Louis pushed the chair back under the table and walked towards the door, leaving as calmly as he could. He was grateful that the floor was empty as he stalked through, snatching his coat up from where it was hanging on the back of his chair. He ignored the dirty mug on his desk and hurried outside, needing to get outside and in the fresh air.

He exhaled heavily as he burst through the main doors and into the car park, the weather cloudier than it had been earlier on. It was still muggy, so Louis opened the door of his car, throwing his jacket onto the passenger seat, not caring if it creased. He knew he couldn’t drive in this state, so rested his forehead against the wheel, his hands almost shaking with anger again now. Louis gritted his teeth, tapping his foot on the floor as he struggled to get his emotions under control, knowing he didn’t need to take any of this home to his pregnant husband. Harry and the baby didn’t need the stress.

It was a text from Harry that brought Louis back to reality, grounding him. Louis was sure Harry was somehow in touch with his every feeling, and he replied, promising Harry he was on his way now. Louis took a different route home, one that was longer but had less traffic, so it wasn’t too much later than usual that he pulled up outside the house. He smiled at the neighbours as he hurried up the path, unlocking the door and slipping inside, grateful to be back home.

Louis kicked off his shoes and listened out, frowning when he heard no sound of Harry. Usually, he’d hear the radio on, or Harry pottering about in the kitchen, but now, there was nothing but silence. He wandered around, seeing signs that Harry was home; his jumper on the arm of the sofa, and his current read on the coffee table, but still no Harry himself. Louis sighed and headed upstairs, feet sinking into the pile of the carpet as he climbed them, his muscles aching, the weight on his shoulders almost unbearable. He could smell a soft scent as he climbed the stairs, and he wondered which of Harry’s candles his husband had lit this time.

“Haz? You up here, love?”

“In here,” came Harry’s reply from the direction of their bedroom, the door pulled to. Louis smiled at the sound of his husband’s familiar gravelly tone and he started unbuttoning his shirt as he walked into their room, focusing entirely on the small black buttons instead of his surroundings.

“God, I’m so fucking glad it’s Friday, I- wow. Haz, I- wow.”

Harry chuckled lowly and walked over to Louis. He was a sight to behold, was all Louis could think. Harry was wearing one of the t-shirts he’d had since a teenager, complete with holes in the seams, stretched out of proportion over his ever-growing bump. His shorts were slung low underneath the swell of his stomach, letting a sliver of skin peek out, his long legs bare and beautiful. Louis couldn’t take his eyes off him. He stopped in front of Louis and kissed him gently, wrapping his arms around Louis’ neck.

“Not had a good day?”

Louis just shook his head. “No. I really didn’t. But you know what? I don’t want to think about that now. I’m here with you, looking like this and that’s all I want to focus on. You look beautiful, love. Cliché, I know, but you’re glowing tonight.”

“I feel good,” Harry grinned in reply, long fingers playing with the back of Louis’ hair. “I actually… I thought we could have a bit of a romantic night in? Come with me, come on.”

Louis let Harry lace their fingers together and he dutifully followed his husband out of their room and towards the bathroom, pausing as Harry pushed the door open. The smell from the candles got stronger as they stepped inside, and Louis’ jaw dropped, eyes roaming around the room. Harry had clearly had plans for tonight, even though he’d not even known about the shitty end to Louis’ day, which just made it all the better.

“This is gorgeous, love,” Louis breathed out, his voice low and quiet, not wanting to disturb the ambience of the room in any way. There were lit candles on every surface in the bathroom, casting the room in a soft yellow gow, much more gentle on Louis’ eyes than the overhead light. The bath was half filled with soft pink water, no doubt from Harry’s expensive bubble bath he treated himself to, and Louis watched as Harry stepped over, leaning down to flick on the hot tap, filling up the bath fully. “Is this for us?”

“Sure is,” Harry confirmed, reaching down and grabbing the hem of his t-shirt, pulling it over his head. “Want to join me?”

Louis could only watch as, for the first time in too long, Harry stepped out of his shorts, standing naked in front of Louis, completely on display. His arms hung by his sides, the only thing on his body his wedding ring. Harry’s cheeks flushed pink as Louis’ eyes went from the tip of Harry’s toes up to his face and back down again, relishing the sight of how beautiful Harry was like this; bare and full of his baby.

“You’re stunning.”

Louis quickly divested himself of his own clothes, and held Harry’s hands as he stepped into the bath, making sure Harry was seated comfortably before he slipped in behind him. They’d spent too much money a few years ago remodelling the bathroom and had splashed out on an extra large bath, big enough to easily fit the two of them. It had been a worthy purchase and now, more than ever, Louis was thanking their foresight for buying it. “Alright, love?” he asked as he wrapped his arms around Harry’s stomach, resting them over his belly button, rubbing gently.

“Mmm. Been looking forward to this,” Harry said huskily, tilting his head back and resting it on Louis’ shoulder. “Tell me what happened at work. And before you say no, just get it over with. Let’s talk about it then we can talk about anything else you want.”

Louis sighed, knowing he wasn’t going to win this one. “Fine. Just… had words with Dennis at the end of the day. He’s blaming me for something that wasn’t handed in, which is crap because I know it was. Then he-” Louis paused for a moment, wondering how much he should tell Harry. “He insinuated you were a distraction because you’re pregnant.”

There was a bit of splashing as Harry wriggled around, frowning as he stared at Louis, unease clear on his face. “He did what? Are you joking?”

“I wish I was,” Louis said as Harry eased himself back between Louis’ legs, his big hands on Louis’ thighs. “I told him that was bullshit, not in those words, but yeah, I told him that was rubbish. Then I left. Things have been so shitty there lately. I’m just glad I get to spend the weekend with you and forget about it.”

Louis could almost hear Harry grin as he nodded, reaching up and pushing his hair back, splashing Louis a little in the process. “Exactly. Makes me glad I wanted a romantic night in with my husband. You feel better being in here?”

“Always feel better around you,” Louis replied, kissing Harry’s shoulder, scooping water into his cupped hands and trickling it over Harry’s bump. “How’s the baby today? Felt anything?”

Ever since Jay had told them that they should feel the baby moving soon, the pair had been on alert for it, Louis’ hand touching Harry’s tummy every chance he could get. Sadly, there’d been nothing, but it didn’t stop Louis from texting Harry periodically throughout the day just to check, even though he knew he wouldn’t feel anything from outside Harry’s belly until a few weeks after Harry started to feel any flutters. 

“No, Lou, you know I’d tell you if I did. But… is it just me, or do you think my bump has suddenly got huge? Like… I could still get in my old trousers a few weeks ago, if I used the hairband like Pheebs showed me. But now, I can’t get them up at all, it’s just growing…”

“That’s because our little one is getting bigger and stronger,” Louis grinned, cupping Harry’s bump. “I bloody love it. And those paternity trousers look amazing on you, so stop trying to squeeze yourself into your old things. I know you’re struggling still with your body, but I honestly think you look amazing.”

Harry was quiet for a moment. Louis rubbed his feet against Harry’s ankles, closing his eyes for a brief second. “I’m getting there. When I got changed after work, into that t-shirt… I liked how I looked obviously pregnant. It’s not just fat, there’s a proper bump, like, people will know I’m pregnant. Sorry, that sounds stupid-”

Louis shook his head. “No, it doesn’t. Not at all. I’ve told you too many times that your feelings are never stupid. But I’m glad you’re learning to like your body.”

“I like that you like my body...” Harry said quietly, so quietly Louis almost missed it. “It makes me feel good.” Louis stayed quiet as Harry’s fingers encircled his wrist, guiding his hand down between his legs, brushing against Harry’s length. “I really like it when you touch me, Lou. I’ve missed it.”

That was all the permission Louis needed. He felt Harry release his wrist but he kept his hand there, brushing the back of his knuckles against the soft skin of Harry’s shaft, feeling it respond underneath his touch. He let his other hand trail up over Harry’s bump towards his chest, grazing over his nipples. Harry audibly gasped as he did so, shifting backwards into Louis’ lap, causing Louis’ body to respond in kind. 

“Louis…”

“I’ve got you,” Louis mumbled, his words trying to be as reassuring as he could. He’d been desperate to touch his husband for so long, and he just wanted to make this as enjoyable for Harry as he could, to make him feel good again. It had been weeks since Harry had last let Louis suck him off, and while Louis was of course fine with Harry not wanting any intimacy since then, he was glad that Harry seemed to be opening his mind to the idea of it again. “This okay?” he asked as he slid his hand up and down Harry’s cock, feeling Harry’s nails dig into the skin of Louis’ thighs as he felt the pleasure Louis was giving him. Harry just hummed his response, resting his head back against Louis’ chest once more. “So good for me,” Louis murmured, ducking his head to kiss Harry’s cheek. 

Harry drew his knees up, the pink skin sticking up above the waterline as he shuffled his body further into Louis’, moaning with each movement of Louis’ hand. He was breathing heavily, Louis’ hand making small splashes in the water as he stroked up and down, the water making everything smooth and seamless. The room was so warm, and Louis was sweating, beads of perspiration running down his face, but all he could focus on was Harry, and how good he felt. He couldn’t help himself from nudging his hips forward, resting his erection against Harry’s bum, the touch producing a zip of pleasure across Louis’ body.

“I’m close, I’m so sorry-” Harry suddenly blurted out, but Louis didn’t mind. He whispered into Harry’s ear, telling him to let go when he wanted to, wanting Harry to know this was all about him and how he felt. He reached up and rolled Harry’s left nipple between his fingers, loving the loud moan that Harry released, the sound echoing off the tiled walls of the bathroom. The flames of the candles were dancing all around them, and it felt like such a special moment, Louis overtaken with love for the gorgeous pregnant man in his arms. “Oh god, Lou-”

“Let go, love. Want you to, want you to feel so good for me. You’re so beautiful like this, letting me touch you…” Louis sped up his strokes, the room a cacophony of Harry’s moans, splashing water and the filthy words Louis kept muttering in Harry’s ear, driving him closer to his own orgasm. He felt Harry’s orgasm overtaking his body, the way he tensed before he collapsed back against Louis, crying out as he came into the water, his whole body shaking. “Fuck, you’re so good, Harry, so good for me…”

Harry didn’t say anything, and just pushed Louis’ hand away from his cock, clearly a little sensitive. Instead, he tilted his head back, blinking slowly up at Louis before he snaked a hand up, cupping the back of Louis’ head and pulling him down in a slow, deep kiss that had Louis shivering as Harry’s warm tongue swiped across his own. It was everything Louis had been missing, and he sank into it, relishing the feel of Harry’s body in his arms.

“I love you...both of you,” Louis whispered when their kiss came to a natural end, Harry’s hands coming to rest on top of Louis’ own, where they were on his bump again. “Sometimes, I feel like this is all a dream and I’m going to wake up, find out that I’m not really this lucky.”

“My swollen ankles and big tummy say otherwise,” Harry chuckled, lacing their fingers together, moving Louis’ left hand to the underside of his belly. “This is our little one, Lou. We made them, and god if this isn’t the best thing that’s ever happened for us. We deserve this. We waited so long, but we got there in the end. Sod work. Focus on this.” He pressed Louis’ hand harder against his belly for a moment. “This is what matters.”

Louis nodded, blinking back tears. He’d always been a guy to wear his heart on his sleeve, unafraid to show emotion but at the moment, it felt like everything was sitting at the surface, ready to spill over at any moment. Louis wasn’t sure whether it was the stress of work, or Harry being pregnant or what, but he felt like a tangled mess of emotion that he didn’t quite know how to work through. 

“We made it.”

They laid there in the water until Louis felt his skin starting to prune, but Harry seemed far more reluctant to get out than Louis did. He kissed the back of Harry’s head before he carefully stood up, stepping onto the fluffy bath mat Harry had left out earlier. He shivered as his skin adjusted to not being submerged in warm water, but Louis didn’t bother to cover himself up. He’d never felt a need to hide himself, especially in front of Harry, but he reached for a towel, rubbing his hair for a moment. There was splashing behind him and he turned, seeing Harry adjusting his position, grabbing his bath pillow from the end of the bath.

“Comfy?” Louis smiled, heading for the sink. He ran his hand over his beard, debating whether or not to shave before he reached for his razor. Harry sang softly under his breath as Louis made quick work of shaving, rinsing off and checking himself for nicks in the mirror, pleased to see there was none. “I really can't decide if I prefer me with a beard or without. What do you think, love?”

Louis rested his hands on the edge of the sink, staring at himself in the mirror. He jumped when damp hands rested on his bare hips, a warm body soon pressed up against his own. He sighed as Harry leaned in, kissing down his neck, his skin tingling with anticipation of Harry’s next move. He let his head roll back as Harry’s fingers made their way across Louis’ stomach, his hot breath tickling Louis’ neck.

“Love your body,” Harry mumbled, before his lips sealed on Louis’ skin, sucking gently. Louis moaned, forcing his eyes open to see how they looked in the mirror together. Harry’s body was all but masked by his own, but the way his head was ducked against Louis’ neck made Louis bite down on his bottom lip, suddenly wanting more. “Always loved it, your soft skin, your curves… every bit of you.”

Harry seemed to have a plan, because he started kissing along Louis’ shoulders, his hands roaming freely around, knowing he could touch Louis wherever he wanted. Over twenty years of marriage meant Harry knew exactly where to touch Louis to turn him on, to make his body respond in the way they both wanted, and now was no different.

“What do you want?” Louis asked, preferring to know what was going to happen before Harry did it, wanting to prepare himself. He gasped as Harry’s fingers suddenly dipped between his cheeks, applying pressure against his entrance. “Fuck-”

Harry grazed his teeth on Louis’ earlobe, his breath heating Louis’ skin before he mumbled quietly, words just for the two of them. “Wanna taste you, put my mouth on you. S’been too long, I miss it. Can I do that, Lou? Can I eat you out, baby?”

Louis carefully around in Harry’s hold, furrowing his eyebrows as he contemplated it. As much as he wanted Harry to do that, one of Louis’ favourite things in the world, actually, he wanted to make sure Harry was comfortable. Harry’s safety and comfort was always his priority anyway, but now he was pregnant, Louis was more vigilant than ever. “Yeah, I want that. But… here?”

“I can kneel on a towel,” Harry whispered again, leaning in for a soft kiss. “Don’t think it’ll take you long anyway, hmm?” He then ran the pad of his index finger along Louis’ erection, from base to tip, and Louis swallowed heavily, knowing he was right. “Please. Let me, and I’ll tell you if I need to stop. Please, baby.”

Louis could do nothing but nod. He let Harry turn him around again, and his ears perked up as he heard the soft thud of a towel hitting the floor before Harry’s hands trailed down his body as he knelt, pressing a kiss to the small of Louis’ back. Louis’ body was shivering in excitement, already wanting everything Harry wanted to give him. He gripped the edge of the sink as Harry pressed kisses along his back, cheeks, thighs, his fingers kneading Louis’ flesh as he did so.

“Gonna start now, okay?”

There was no chance for Louis to even formulate a response before Harry’s mouth was on him, his hands pulling Louis’s cheeks apart enough for his lips to be on the most intimate part of his husband. He moaned as Harry’s wet tongue swept against him, making Louis’ toes curl, hands clutching the sink for dear life, willing himself to stay on his feet. It was wetter and warmer than Louis had remembered, and he shut his eyes, only able to imagine how Harry looked like this, on his knees for him, giving Louis what he loved most of all. 

“God, Harry… your mouth… feels so good, love this, love it so much- ah!”

Louis almost stumbled as Harry’s pointed tongue ran around Louis’ rim, teasing before finally, it dipped inside, his fingertips digging into Louis’ cheeks. His mind was everywhere, but at the same time only focused on what Harry was doing and how his husband was making him feel. Any feeling of being chilly before had vanished, and now, he only felt the waves of pleasure rolling over him thanks to Harry, and his talented mouth.

“Missed this,” Harry muttered as he pulled back, kissing Louis’ skin gently a few times before he dove back in, licking and kissing with an eagerness Louis knew wasn’t at all being put on. He reached back with a shaky hand, feeling Harry’s head move as he licked at him again. Louis could feel the familiar signs of orgasm approaching, but already it felt infinitely better than the ones Louis gave himself with his hand.

Harry kept working his mouth of Louis as his hand came around, gripping Louis’ dripping cock. He knew they were making a mess of themselves despite the fact they’d literally just shared a bath, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He let Harry’s hand tug at him, smearing his precome down his shaft and everything felt so good, it was like Louis’ body was on fire. 

“Gonna come if you keep doing that,” Louis warned, his voice low, even to his ears. His voice was gravelly, laced with desire and need, and he pushed back against Harry’s face, willing him to go deeper. He moaned again when Harry pushed just the tip of his index finger inside Louis, and Harry began licking more enthusiastically. Louis so badly wanted to see Harry’s face, how much of a mess he’d made of himself but he couldn’t bring himself to pull away, needing the release his orgasm was going to bring. “Oh god- fuck, shit, Harry, Haz, god-”

He came, his body pulsating with the pleasure as he splattered against the sink, Harry’s hand moving over him as his tongue moved over and over Louis’ rim, until it was almost too much. Louis couldn’t speak but he managed to almost wriggle out of Harry’s way, yelping when Harry swatted his bum, collapsing back onto his knees. Louis panted, turning around and looking down at his pregnant husband, naked and splayed out for him, a smirk on his face like he knew exactly what he’d done.

“You look so fucking hot,” he said, holding out his hands and hauling a Bambi-legged Harry to his feet, laughing as Harry stumbled into him. “Fuck me, that was good.”

Harry just nodded, leaning in to kiss Louis gently. “Glad you liked it. I’ve missed us being like that. It’s something I’m working on, I promise. I can’t say I won’t ever-”

Louis reached up, pressing a finger against Harry’s full, pink lips. “Don’t. It’s fine. Whatever you want to give me is fine. If that’s nothing, then I’ll live. I’ve got you, and I’ve got this little one. That’s all that matters.” He rested his palm again on Harry’s belly as their lips came together. “I love you.”

“I love you, too. Now I’m chilly and I need some clothes. Baby can’t get poorly, Lou! Chop chop!”

*****

“FUCK!”

Louis slammed his hands on the steering wheel, a jolt of pain shooting up each arm at the action, but he didn’t care. He clenched his eyes shut then slowly opened them, trying to steady his breath. He still couldn’t believe it had happened, and as he moved his hand to his pocket to grab his keys, he saw his hands were shaking. 

“Get it together, Louis,” he muttered, knowing that was an impossibility. He was kind of on auto pilot as he finally gathered his thoughts enough to start the engine, not even able to look up at the building as he drove off, not knowing where to go. It was just after lunch, so Louis knew Harry wouldn’t be home yet, but still, he couldn’t bring himself to go home in the middle of the day. It felt wrong, but Louis didn’t know where else to go.

As he drove aimlessly around the city centre, Louis’ phone was going wild where he’d left it in the pocket of his jacket. He ignored it, knowing it would be people concerned about what had happened, asking why he’d practically ran out of the building, probably worrying it had something to do with Harry but he couldn’t bring himself to read the messages, let alone reply to them. 

Louis’ mind was running in overdrive. He didn’t know how he was going to cope with any of this, let alone now. It was the worst timing ever, that’s all he knew. Harry was relying on him, needing his support and Louis couldn’t bring himself to admit he couldn’t be that man, not anymore. He exhaled slowly as he parked the car, looking at the familiar home. His Mum’s car wasn’t there, and for a moment, Louis felt grateful. He sat in the chair for too long, thinking it through, when a knock on his window startled him.

“Lou? Everything okay?” Phoebe was peering in, concern in her eyes. She was rocking the pushchair with her other hand, and Louis sighed, knowing he wouldn’t get away without speaking to his little sister. She stepped back, giving him room to get out of the car, and quickly came forward, hugging her brother like she sensed that’s what she needed. “Come inside. You can cuddle Ellie, that’ll cheer you up.”

Louis didn’t say anything, knowing that wasn’t true. He lifted the car seat from the wheels of the chair and left Phoebe to fold it up as he carried the chair through to the sitting room, setting it on the floor.

“Hello, gorgeous girl,” he said quietly, opening the straps and carefully lifting her into his arms. He rested her in the crook of her elbow as he took off the little jacket Phoebe had put on her, smiling down when she whimpered, mouth open and seeking something. “Hungry, hmm? Pheebs, got a bottle?”

“I’ll just warm it up,” she called, hurrying through to the kitchen. Louis sat where he was, jiggling Ellie to keep her quiet until Phoebe reappeared, shaking the bottle. She handed it to her brother and smiled fondly as Louis pushed the teat between her lips, grinning as she started feeding. “Good practice for you, huh?”

“Yep, guess so,” Louis agreed, his voice devoid of the usual excitement it had when he spoke of his impending fatherhood. “She’s getting so big already.”

“She is. And Lou, as much as I love Ellie, she isn’t what I want us to talk about. What’s wrong?”

Louis just shrugged, using a muslin to wipe away a trickle of milk coming from Ellie’s mouth. “Nothing.”

Phoebe sighed, getting up and coming to sit next to her brother. “Don’t lie to me. I know you. Something’s up. First of all, it’s just gone three in the afternoon and you’re home. You’re pale and don’t think I haven’t noticed you haven’t stopped shaking since you got here.”

Louis swallowed, wishing his sister wasn’t as observant as she was. His phone pinged again, making Ellie jump but he ignored it, leaving it on the table. Phoebe, though, picked it up, smiling down at the screen. She turned it around, revealing a picture Harry had sent his husband of his bump underneath his pink shirt, showing off how big he felt today. 

“He looks bloody amazing,” Phoebe said, setting the phone down again. “Now, talk, Louis. I mean it, or I’m going to withhold all Ellie hugs until you do.”

“Fine.” Louis removed the bottle from Ellie’s mouth and sat her up, ready to burp her as a distraction for when he spoke his next words. “I’ve just lost my fucking job, Phoebe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops?
> 
> More Monday xx


	11. Harry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go! I hope you like this one... poor old Harry and Louis!
> 
> Thank you for all the love so far, it means so much to me.
> 
> Let me know your thoughts as always in the comments!  
> x

Harry reached into the box of crackers, pulling out another one, ignoring the watchful eyes of Liam following every move his hand made. Harry had read up on cravings. Sometimes, people wanted weird food combinations, or things they’d never eaten before in their lives, but for Harry, it was salted crackers. He couldn’t get enough, to the point where he kept two boxes in his bedside table, several at work, and even a box in the car for road trips. 

“Peckish, are you?” Liam asked with a smirk, and Harry just shrugged, ramming another one into his mouth. “Anyway. Are you going to tell me what’s made you a sourpuss for the past few days? You’ve locked yourself away in here and not spoken to anyone, really. Everyone’s concerned, mate.”

“Nosy, more like,” Harry muttered, brushing a few crumbs away from where they’d fallen onto his bump on top of the floral shirt he’d put on that morning. He smiled as he stilled his hand, resting it on his tummy. Since he’d first felt the flutters the other day, Harry was more aware of them, and quite often, he stopped whatever he was doing to appreciate them, loving the sensation of life inside him after years of thinking it would be something he’d never get to experience. “It’s Lou.”

“What about him?” Liam asked, crossing one leg over the other. Harry noticed a little stain at the bottom of his polo top but kept it to himself, certain it was probably one of the twins who had put it there before work, and Liam didn’t need the stress. “Is he alright?”

Harry shrugged again, feeling like a petulant teeanger. “I don’t know, really. And that’s the problem. He’s been really… weird? Not horrible to me or anything, Lou couldn’t ever be. But we… fuck. Since we were intimate, he’s been different with me, Li. Was it like that for you and Soph? When you… when she was pregnant?”

“You can talk about sex, Harry, bloody hell,” Liam said, rolling his eyes and shifting in his seat. “It’s weird at first, I’ll be honest. I was terrified I was gonna prod the baby or something, even though Soph reassured me that couldn’t happen. Maybe Louis’ just worried about hurting you or something?”

“We didn’t… it wasn’t full sex,” Harry said, feeling his cheeks heat up as he admitted things he’d rather keep between himself and Louis. But the way Louis had been for the past few days was eating him up, and Liam was the only person he could really trust with this, since Gemma and his mother really didn’t need to hear about his and Louis’ sex life. “He seemed really into it at the time. We cuddled in bed and stuff, and the next morning he was lovely, made me breakfast and everything. But then he changed, and I really don’t know why.”

“Changed how?” Liam asked, looking concerned now. “Because if he’s got an issue with your body, Harry, I’ll talk some bloody sense into him, I won’t have that-”

Harry sighed, rubbing his hands over his face. “Oh, calm down, Li. I don’t think it’s that. He still touches my belly, and talks to the baby and stuff. It’s more… fuck, I don’t know! And I fucking hate that I don’t know. He just tells me he’s fine when I ask.”

Liam tilted back on his chair for a minute, and the parent-to-be in Harry wanted to rush over and plan all four feet back on the floor, reminding Liam of how he could crack his head open if he fell backwards. “I’m sure it’s nothing. And if it is something, Lou will come to you when he’s ready to talk. Just remind him you’re there if he wants to chat. You can always text me as well, if you need to talk.”

Harry smiled, rubbing small circles over his bump. “I know. Thank you, Li. We’ve got our babymoon to look forward to soon, I don’t want him to be stressed on holiday. That’s the whole point of us getting away, to relax and enjoy some time together, you know? I can’t bloody wait.”

“I bet. That’s probably what Louis’ worried about. He’s probably working himself ragged to make up for being off for a week, and then paternity leave as well. You know he’s like you, feels guilty for being off work, leaving shit for other people to do.”

Harry pushed back from his chair, swaying his hips side to side for a moment. Since his bump had started to really grow, Harry had found his back and hips had been playing him up a little more, and he was determined not to be hobbling around come his fortieth week of pregnancy. He walked to the door, Liam following him as they emerged on the main floor, people smiling as they walked by, all busy in their work. “Thanks for letting me vent,” Harry said. They went inside the large meeting room, the latest layouts for the magazine spread out over the huge conference table in the middle of the room. “Wow. God, you’ve been working hard.”

“Of course we have. You’re the one who’s been holed up in his office for days. The rest of us have been carrying on as normal. And that’s fine-” Liam hurried to say, seeing guilt splashed all over Harry’s face. “I’m happy to pick up the slack, you know that. Just… pop out and see everyone every now and then. We’re like a family here, Harry. We all want the best for each other, for you.”

Liam’s words made Harry emotional, so he walked over, pulling his best friend into a hug. While Louis had still been hugging Harry, it had been lacking in something Harry just couldn’t put his finger on lately, so he sank easily into Liam’s embrace. “Thank you. I’ll talk to him, I promise. I’m sure it’s just me being a hormonal mess. Right, let’s focus on this.” He stood back up and walked over to the table, leaning his hands on there as he looked over the layouts Liam and his staff had put together. “Wow, this whole article came together so well! And the photos are amazing. Great job, Li. Oh! Look at this one, exactly what I imagined!”

Harry grinned to himself. There were days he felt drained and that he just wanted to curl up in bed, act like he didn’t have the responsibilities he did, but not today. Today, he just felt proud that he had the job he did, that he worked with the amazing team of people that he had around him. Whatever was going on with Louis, Harry knew they’d work it out. He loved Louis too much for anything but.

*****

Harry balanced the too heavy shopping bags in one hand while the other wrestled to get the key in the front door, practically crying in happiness when it swung open. Harry hadn’t planned to buy quite so much when he’d stopped at the Sainsburys on the way home from work, but every time he saw something he thought Louis would like, Harry hadn’t been able to help himself and had snatched it up, throwing it into his soon overflowing basket. Eventually one of the shop workers had taken pity on him and fetched him a trolley, Harry grinning in thanks as his aching arms put all the things inside, strolling off down the aisles much more easily. 

“Lou? Love, are you home?”

Harry dumped the bags on the floor, letting out a long exhale as he did so. The muscles in his back were screaming in protest, but Harry had been determined to do it all in one shift, not wanting to make multiple trips to the car. He grabbed a glass from the draining board and filled it with cold water from the tap, drinking over half of it down in one go. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Louis sat on the patio, staring blankly down their good sized garden.

He quickly turned and headed for the patio doors, standing and watching Louis for a moment before he said anything. It seemed Louis hadn’t heard him arrive, that he was in a world of his own. There was a beer in his hand, the condensation dripping from the glass and onto the slabs beneath him, Louis’ bare feet out in front of him, crossed at the ankles. Harry could almost see the tension in his shoulders from here, and he wished there was something he could do to help.

“Hello, love,” Harry said softly as he walked over, kissing the top of Louis’ head before he took a seat next to him, setting his own glass down on the floor next to it. “How was your day?”

Louis was silent for a moment, like he was contemplating his answer before finally, he looked over to Harry, giving him a tight smile. “Yeah, it was alright. You know, it’s just work. How about yours?” Harry could see the dark bags under Louis’ eyes, the way his skin looked like it had a greyish hue to it despite the beautiful weather, and his gorgeous blue eyes weren’t shining like they always did, but Harry didn’t want it point any of that out, certain Louis didn’t need to hear his observations. Not now, anyway. 

Harry eagerly launched into a spiel about his day, how he and Liam had spent the better part of the afternoon poring over the layouts for the October issue. Louis appeared to be listening, so Harry carried on, unbuttoning a few of the lower buttons of his shirt, pulling the fabric apart as he spoke to let the sunlight warm his belly. It was that which finally made Louis give Harry a big smile, shuffling his chair over.

“And how’s my little one been today?” Louis rested his hand on Harry’s tummy so gently, leaning down to press his lips against it. Harry wished Louis would kiss him like that, but he kept quiet, letting Louis talk to their baby. “Had a good day, hmm? Been good for Daddy? I love you very much, little one.”

“They’ve been good,” Harry said, wishing he’d taken his socks off before he’d come outside. He circled his swollen ankles a few times, and it was like Louis had read his mind as his husband got up, crouching in front of Harry and pulling his socks off his feet. “Thanks, babe. Felt a few flutters again today. You think it’ll be long before you feel them move too?”

Louis just shrugged, pulling his sunglasses down onto his face, sitting back in his chair. “No idea. What’s for dinner?”

Harry bit back the snarky comment on the tip of his tongue about Louis being home first and getting something ready, but he really didn’t want an argument. Instead, he smiled, knowing what he’d chosen would hopefully make Louis smile. “Well. I stopped at Sainsburys and got one of the fresh pizzas you like, and some of that chocolate cake thing too.”

“Oh right, nice.”

It wasn’t the reaction Harry was hoping for, but he swallowed down his disappointment. He got to his feet and picked up his socks, pausing by Louis’ chair. “I’ll go and get on with that, then. Want to eat out here?”

“Can do.”

“Right. I’ll just… yeah.” Harry hurried inside before Louis could see him about to cry, not wanting to put that on his husband. Whatever Louis was going through, Harry wanted to be there for him, to be a strong supportive husband, not an emotional wreck that would be of no use to Louis at all. He made quick work of preparing everything, adding extra pepperoni from the fridge to Louis’ half of the pizza, and making himself a little side salad, knowing too much pizza would play havoc with his tummy later on. Before he knew it, everything was done. Harry loaded up the tray with everything to save him making several trips, but before he could carry it out, Louis came back in, a little red faced with swollen eyes. Harry blinked, wondering if he should say something.

“I’ll carry that. You know what the midwives said, that you should take it easy.”

Harry just nodded, understanding that apparently Louis didn’t want to talk about the fact he’d obviously been crying about something, and he followed his husband out to the patio set, sitting down as Louis put a plate in front of him, offering Harry a slice first. “Thank you, Lou.”

Louis turned and gave Harry a smile, kissing his head before he sat down, picking at his food. “Mum text earlier. I said they could come for dinner next weekend, if that’s alright? Thought we could give her and Pheebs a break, take Ellie for a bit?”

“Yeah, I’d love that,” Harry grinned, dabbing at his mouth with a napkin. “Phoebe sent me a photo the other day, actually. Ellie’s really starting to look like her now. Made me think about this one, whether they’ll be more like you or me.”

“You, hopefully,” Louis mumbled, spearing one of Harry’s cherry tomatoes on his fork. 

“Louis…”

“Don’t. I’m fine, Haz. I promise. Just… lots going on at work, you know how it gets in management. I’m stressing, and I know I shouldn’t. I’m sorry if I’m being shit to you. Just… just give me time, okay? I’ll be fine.”

Harry nodded, getting to his feet. “Okay, Lou. I’m just getting another J20. Want anything?”

Louis shook his head, but as he was walking away, Harry was sure he heard Louis mutter ‘don’t give up on  _ me’  _ under his breath, but Harry was certain he’d imagined it. Either way, he wasn’t giving up on Louis. There wasn’t a world Harry could ever see that happening in, and with Louis’ baby in his belly, and his heart in Louis’ hands, Harry knew that was one thing that would never be happening.

It was at bedtime that things took a turn, and not in the way Harry was hoping. The dinner in the garden had been quiet, but Harry had reached his foot across, resting it on top of Louis’, grateful when he didn’t shrug away from it. Harry had chatted about anything and everything that he could think of to fill the silences, but when Louis hadn’t responded much, he gave up and just enjoyed the peace and quiet, trying to mask his emotions.

They watched their usual TV together until Harry was yawning, ready for bed already. He told Louis he was going upstairs, and his husband had just nodded, waving as Harry climbed the stairs, his back aching now. He stepped out of his clothes and grabbed his pot of belly butter, rubbing it in gently in the soft light of the room, enjoying this moment of peace with his baby.

“Dad’ll be alright won’t he?” Harry asked, smearing the cream on the underside of his belly. It smelled like roses, and Harry enjoyed how the scent wafted around him, filling the room as he layered it on, determined to look after his skin. “I miss him. Just… oh, ignore me. Feeling bloody sorry for myself again.”

Harry got to his feet and set the pot of cream back on his dresser, wiping down his hands on a tissue. He felt warmer than usual so decided to not bother wearing anything to bed other than his boxers, which Harry knew would surprise Louis. He reached up behind his neck, wanting to take off his necklace, but just as his fingers made contact with the clasp, they brushed against another set of fingers, making Harry shudder.

“Lou-”

“Sorry. Didn’t want to stay downstairs without you.”

“It’s alright. You just made me jump.”

“You alright if I come to bed with you?”

Harry scoffed, turning around as Louis lifted the necklace off him, setting it down on the dresser alongside Harry’s other jewellery. “Louis, it’s  _ our _ bed, and yes, I want you there.”

Louis gave him a smile and quickly undressed himself, disappearing to brush his teeth before he laid down next to Harry, his hands tucked under his cheek as he stared at Harry. It was Louis who reached out, tucking a curl of hair behind Harry’s ear, rubbing his thumb down Harry’s cheekbone.

“I love how being pregnant has filled you out,” Louis said, making Harry’s eyebrows raise.

“You calling me fat?”

Louis laughed loudly, a sound that Harry hadn’t realised he’d missed terribly. “Absolutely not. You’re beautiful. You’re always beautiful, love, but even more so now. Not sure I’ve told you that enough lately.”

Harry knew he was blushing now, and was glad that the room was dark and that Louis couldn’t see. Instead of saying anything, Harry shuffled forwards and tangled their legs, resting his hand on the curve of Louis’ waist. “I love you.” He felt unusually nervous as he leaned in, brushing his lips against Louis’ for a moment, hesitant, like he might be pushed away. Instead, Louis kissed back, a bit tentatively too, but Harry took the lead, cupping Louis’ cheek and leaning into it, bringing his body closer.

Louis parted his lips, letting Harry’s tongue inside, and Harry decided to keep it lazy for now, letting their lips work together. When they first got together, they used to lay in bed for hours, just kissing and enjoying being so close. Harry missed that, and he sighed happily, Louis’ kisses so familiar and welcoming. Louis’ stubble was no doubt giving him a rash but he couldn’t bring himself to care, everything just felt so good.

It was instinctual when Harry pushed his thigh forward against Louis’ crotch, something he’d always done to initiate intimacy between them. But this time, rather than the hardness Harry was used to feeling against his leg, there was nothing but softness. He reached down and started rolling his palm back and forth, wondering if he could arouse something in Louis, his own body responding now, wanting Louis’ hands on him. It was all he could think about.

“Love. Harry. Harry, stop-”

Harry did so as Louis’ fingers encircled his wrist, stopping him and pushing his hand away from the front of Louis’ boxers, blinking quickly. “I’m sorry, Lou. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Louis sighed, removing his hand from Harry’s wrist. “It’s not you. I promise it’s not you. I’m just… I’m stressed out.”

“It’s fine,” Harry said, although inside, his stomach was churning, sure it was his body that was putting Louis off. “Don’t worry about it, I shouldn’t have started anything, not tonight. Let’s just sleep, okay?”

Harry could feel rather than see Louis nod next to him. Louis mumbled a thanks and goodnight before he quickly kissed Harry and rolled over, going still. Harry was still half hard in his boxers but he ignored it, rolling onto his back, one hand on his tummy. He sighed, knowing sleep wasn’t going to come easily tonight. Failed sex had happened a few times in their marriage; when they’d had too much to drink, or when Harry had been too emotional over their failure to get pregnant. But then, they’d been on the same page, comforting each other, or laughing through it. 

Now, Harry was alone. Horrible memories came flooding back then, of the time Harry had finally told Louis he was pregnant and Louis had walked out on him, abandoning him. Harry didn’t… no, he  _ couldn’t _ go back to those times, not again. This wasn’t the Louis Harry knew and loved more than anything. He knew there had to be a reason for Louis’ behaviour now, and he bit back the urge to talk to his husband again, knowing Louis wasn’t going to be receptive to it at all. For now, Harry would settle for having Louis in bed next to him. At least he was still by his side. 

*****

“Harry, we have secretaries who do this sort of thing-”

“I know that, Liam,” Harry retorted, biting back the urge to roll his eyes. He picked up the envelope containing the important letter and headed for the door of his office. “I need some fresh air, and my back’s hurting. I know a bit of a walk will do me good. It’s not far, anyway.”

Liam sighed, knowing he wasn’t going to win this one. “Fine. Just take it easy. It’s quite warm out there, and if you’re anything like Soph, you’ll be feeling like you’ve got a radiator rammed up your shirt at the moment.”

“I’m a little warm,” Harry admitted, fanning himself with the envelope in his hand as the pair of them walked out of the office, smiling at colleagues as he did so. They waited by the lifts, Harry not having the energy to even contemplate the stairs right now. His bump felt like it weighed a tonne today, and Harry supported it underneath as they waited for the metal doors to slide open, stepping into the box together. “Liam, I can manage the lift, I’m pregnant, not dying.”

“Just looking out for you. I kinda promised Lou I’d keep an eye on you at work, make sure you’re not overdoing it.”

Harry gritted his teeth, willing himself to keep his temper in check. It was one thing that Louis was being a bit off at home, but knowing he’d made Liam keep an eye on Harry at work felt a little over the top, especially since he’d all but ignored Harry that morning when he’d left for work. “I’m fine. I’m thirty eight years old, Liam. Just… please give me some space?”

Thankfully, the doors slid open and Harry stalked off, hoping Liam wasn’t on his tail. He didn’t bother checking until he’d turned the corner, grateful that it appeared Liam had heeded his warning. Harry felt a little guilty at snapping at his friend already, but he knew he’d apologise when he’d calmed down, and could properly say how he felt, how things were with him and Louis. Instead, the sun was beating down on Harry’s body and he slowed down his pace, feeling the sweat already starting to soak through the shirt he’d pulled on that morning.

As predicted, it didn’t take long for Harry to arrive at the post office, smiling and making small talk with the older gentleman behind the desk. He paid for the documents to be sent, and grabbed a bottle of water before he left, along with a cereal bar, his belly rumbling with hunger instead of the usual butterflies his baby gave him. The thought of returning to the office didn’t fill Harry with happiness so he made a detour, heading for one of the small parks in the city centre.

As he approached, Harry could hear the screams and laughter of children running around, and he didn’t bother to hide his own smile as he walked inside, a child sprinting straight past him after a football. Harry paused when the toddler took a tumble but they soon got back up, brushing off their bum with their hands before snatching up the ball, screaming at their mum that they were coming. Harry swallowed down the lump in his throat as he realised that in a few years, that would be himself and Louis, running around with their son or daughter. They were going to be parents, and this was their future.

After a few minutes of strolling around in the park, nibbling slowly on his cereal bar to stave off the nausea he could feel brewing, Harry lowered himself onto a bench, letting the sun warm his skin. He looked around, making up stories in his mind about what the other people in the park were up to. It was something he’d done since he was a little boy, and he’d got Louis in on the act when they were dating, the two now enjoying the game whenever they went out to eat, the stories getting more ludicrous as the night wore on.

Harry’s phone buzzed in his pocket, and Harry slipped it out, reading Liam’s message. Harry quickly replied, confirming he was fine and would be back within the hour, not having the heart to worry Liam about himself or the baby. Harry might want space but he wasn’t cruel. He squinted as he saw a familiar figure in the distance, shaking his head at his assumption. He rolled his feet slowly, willing the ache in his ankles to dissipate, but he soon found himself distracted as the person got closer, and Harry was getting more and more confused.

He got to his feet and walked after the man, now certain it was what he thought it was initially. His heart was beating fast, and sweat was beading on his forehead as he picked up his pace, almost stumbling when the man suddenly paused in the middle of the path. Harry slowly stepped forwards, his hands shaking at his sides.

“Louis? Is that-”

Harry was cut off as the man whirled around, confirmed everything Harry had thought. It was Louis. In the middle of the day, looking beyond tired. There were dark shadows under his eyes, his beard was straggly and not trimmed as it usually was, and Harry couldn’t help but think his usually fitted shirt was hanging from his frame. 

“Lou?” Louis didn’t say much. He just blinked slowly, as if he wasn’t quite with it. Harry got closer, reaching out and taking his husband’s hand, hoping he’d say something before Harry started to panic. “Louis, it’s Harry.”

“I know who you are,” Louis replied, his voice raspy, like he hadn’t used it all day. “Hi.”

Something was wrong. This wasn’t the Louis that Harry knew and loved. He was distant, and Harry couldn’t understand why he was out in the park. “Louis, why are you here? You never leave work during the day, that’s why you get me to make you a packed lunch every day…”

Instead of giving him an answer, Louis just shrugged his shoulder, not meeting Harry’s eye. “I can change my mind, Harry. I needed some fresh air, it’s nice out…”

“I wasn’t… accusing you of anything, Lou. I’m worried about you. You don’t look… like yourself. You’ve been off at-”

“Just stop.” Harry watched as Louis folded his arms across his chest, his face devoid of any kind of emotion now. “You’re seriously overreacting. I know I don’t leave the office but I did today, okay? And I don’t need the third degree about it from my husband.”

Harry just quickly nodded, wanting nothing more than to make it right. “I wasn’t giving you the third degree. As I said, I was worried. I shouldn’t have said anything. I’ll see you at home.”

Without looking at his husband again, Harry turned and waddled over, ignoring the screaming protest of his lower back. He’d gone from being upset and worried to just angry, uncertain why Louis was behaving like this. Something was definitely amiss but Harry was damned if he knew what it was.

“Harry, wait-” A small hand wrapped around Harry’s bare wrist and he paused, letting Louis come and stand in front of him. “I’m sorry. Don’t go, not like that, at least.”

“I can sense you don’t want to talk to me, which is fine, I understand. Just… don’t shut me out like you have been. You know it makes me anxious, and that’s not good for me or the baby.”

Louis reached out then, resting a hand on Harry’s belly, smiling to himself. “I am sorry, love. You both okay?”

“Just hot and bothered,” Harry confessed, reaching up and swiping a finger through the sweat on his forehead, cringing at how wet it was. “I should probably get going, though, unless you need me to stay?”

Louis quickly shook his head, giving Harry a tight smile. “I should get back to work as well. I’ll get us takeout on the way home if you want, give you a break?” Harry was surprised as Louis leaned in, giving him a quick kiss. “Haz?”

“Sorry. Yeah, takeout sounds good. You choose, but nothing too spicy, please. Love you, Lou.”

“Love you too.”

Harry kissed Louis again before he walked away, knowing if he didn’t, he wouldn’t be able to bring himself to leave. He was still worried. Although Louis had acted fine, he knew that Louis was hiding something. Harry knew of only a few times Louis had left the office in the middle of the day, and lately, they were all baby related. For Louis to be walking around a park at half two in the afternoon, something had to be amiss at work. Harry just hoped Louis would come to him when he decided he wanted to talk about it.

*****

“Ooh thanks Jay,” Harry grinned, accepting the bottle of fizzy grape juice she’d got him and Phoebe for their Sunday lunch, as well as the wine she’d brought for herself and Louis. “I’ll pop them in the fridge.”

“Anything I can do to help?” Jay followed Harry to the kitchen, leaning against the table as he put the bottles away, closing the door carefully so he didn’t disturb the cheesecake he’d made the day before the dinner. “Harry?”

“Nah, you’re fine. Go and sit with Lou,” Harry instructed as Louis walked into the room. He looked handsome in a navy polo shirt and tan shorts, his feet bare, and Harry absent-mindedly touched his wedding ring, watching every move Louis made. Things had been strange since Harry had seen Louis in the park a few days ago, with Louis completely avoiding the topic, despite Harry trying to bring it up a few times until he’d given up entirely, hoping Louis would talk when he felt ready. “Want something, love?”

Louis jumped, clearly startled by Harry’s voice but he soon smiled, one that actually reached his eyes for a change. “Oh. Nah, just thought I’d see if everything was going alright in here-”

A baby crying cut him off, and Harry followed Louis into the living room, watching his husband crouch down to pick his niece up from the floor, cradling her against his chest. Ellie was getting big now, although that didn’t stop Louis and Harry from holding her at every opportunity. Phoebe handed Louis a bottle, and although he gestured to Harry, wordlessly asking if he wanted to do, Harry just shook his head, letting Louis carry on. He looked more relaxed than he had in a while, and Harry liked it.

“She’s been a grumpy knickers for days,” Phoebe moaned, collapsing onto Harry and Louis’ cosy sofa, spreading her legs out. “She’s waking up at night again, just when I thought I’d sorted out bedtimes.”

“I told you, she’s probably teething,” Jay piped up from where she was rummaging in Ellie’s bag, pulling out a couple of clean muslins before she threw one at Louis, who was busy pulling faces at Ellie as she fed. “Louis, let her concentrate, honestly.”

“Oh pah,” Louis joked, blowing a raspberry at Jay before he poked his tongue out at the baby in his arms. “She loves it, don’t you, Ellie-belly? Her favourite Uncle always knows how to make her smile- sorry, love,  _ one  _ of her favourite uncles,” he corrected as Harry glared at him, grinning widely when Louis winked. This was more like it… his Louis was back.

“I’m just going to start the gravy.” Harry pulled himself to his feet and headed for the kitchen, smoothing out the flowy blouse he had on. He’d been a little bit nervous putting it on today, one of his paternity clothes purchases, but Louis had set his hands on his hips, telling Harry in a husky voice that he looked beautiful, his eyes full of love. It had made Harry’s heart sing, and since then, he’d been on a bit of a high, Louis’ odd behaviour from the past week all but forgotten for the time being. 

He hummed to himself as he pottered around the kitchen, putting the plates in the warmer as he set the table, trying not to make too much noise, not wanting to startle Ellie from her feeding too much. There was a swift kick at the bottom of his belly that made him gasp, stilling right there, his hand rushing to press against where the kick had been hoping for more.

“Come on, baby,” he said, voice soft and encouraging, pressing down on his bump. He looked up as he heard something, seeing Jay creep closer. “They’re moving, come and feel Nanny!”

Jay practically beamed as she hurried over to Harry, getting permission before she touched Harry’s belly, the pair waiting silently.

“Maybe they’ve gone back to- oh! I felt that, Harry!”

Harry laughed, feeling happier than he’d felt in a long time. “Me too! Wow, that’s the strongest we’ve ever felt. God, it makes it so real, they’re really there…”

Jay pulled Harry into a hug and cupped his cheeks, her eyes filled with tears as they stared at each other. “I really am beyond happy for you both,” she whispered, holding back her tears. “This is everything you both deserve and more.”

Harry smiled, his bottom lip wobbling with emotion. The baby was still wriggling about, but he hugged Jay, inhaling her comforting familiar scent. “Can I… can I ask you something, Jay?”

“You can ask me anything, you know that,” Jay said, taking Harry’s hand and guiding him over to the table and into a chair. “Is it the baby?”

“No. It’s…” Harry felt guilty about what he was going to do, but he had to ask. “It’s Lou. Things have been a bit… strange, for the past few weeks. He’s been a bit quiet and then I saw him in the park on a work day-” Harry took in Jay’s shocked expression and pointed, nodding excitedly. “See, you get it!”

“I do. Louis never leaves work. Are you sure it was him?”

Harry chuckled. “We had a full on conversation, Jay, it was my husband, alright. But while it was Lou, it wasn’t at the same time. He was all off with me. He barely spoke, and kept insisting he was fine, but he really wasn’t-  _ isn’t _ fine,” Harry corrected, feeling his anxiety creeping back in. “I know he looks okay today, but he’s not been. Have you noticed anything, or has he said anything to you?”

Jay looked surprised by all of this, so he was unsurprised when she shook her head. “No, love. He hasn’t said a word. I’ve only spoken to him a few times, and he’s not said anything is wrong. Maybe he’s just getting nervous about the baby and parenthood?”

“I don’t think it’s that. I can’t put my finger on it, but I’m sure it’s not about the baby. It’s something else. I know it is, but he won’t talk to me, and he won’t say anything. He’s shutting down, pulling away from me, and I hate it.”

“I’ll talk to him,” Jay vowed, taking Harry’s hand again, squeezing gently, but Harry shook his head.

“No, I… I don’t want to worry him, or make him think we’re all ganging up on him. I’m sure it’ll work itself out. He seems happier today anyway- ouch!” Harry’s hand flew to his bump where there was another kick. “Blimey, they’re active today!”

“Is that my child you’re talking about?” came Louis’ voice from the doorway, Ellie still in his arms, sound asleep now. “Oh my god, are they kicking?! Mother, take the baby, I need a feel!” Louis practically thrust Ellie into Jay’s arms and fell to his knees, both hands splayed across Harry’s bump now. “Daddy’s here, you can say hello now. Please?”

They all waited with bated breath until finally, the baby kicked against Louis’ hand, producing the biggest grin on Louis’ face.

“You feel them?”

In lieu of answering, Louis just surged forward and kissed Harry’s lips. “I love you. Fuck, this whole pregnancy thing amazes me more all the time. Look at you.” He looked up at Harry with such fondness, Harry almost couldn’t stand the intensity of his gaze. “You’re so beautiful.”

“I love you, too,” Harry whispered, kissing Louis again, loving how affectionate Louis was being today. “I’m glad you felt it too. Your little footballer, or dancer, has been going mad today.”

“Good, that’s what I like to hear,” Louis grinned, helping Harry to his feet, making sure he was stable before he went to steal Ellie back. “Soon enough, we’ll have our own one of these.” He wandered off again, leaving Harry in the kitchen. As he left, he saw Phoebe hovering in the doorway, biting on her lower lip as she watched on, looking like she wanted to say something.

“Pheebs? You alright love? Want a drink?”

“I’m… yeah, I’m alright. Just wanted to talk to Lou, but… he’s busy, I’ll just…”

As quickly as she had arrived, she disappeared, leaving Harry a little confused. Phoebe was usually one to wear her heart on her sleeve, but Harry figured Ellie keeping her up was playing havoc with Phoebe’s mind. He thought about asking Louis if they should offer to babysit Ellie overnight, so Phoebe could get some rest, and vowed to ask his husband later on. But for now, he had a roast chicken to sort out, and if there was one thing Harry took serious pride in at home, it was his cooking.

*****

_ Three days later _

“I won’t be long, please wait here? It’ll be charged to my account,” Harry asked, and the driver nodded, switching off the engine as Harry carefully got out of the car, taking care of both his bump and the cake carrier in his hand as he stepped onto the pavement, steadying himself. He’d felt dizzy for a couple of days now but knew it was all down to the pregnancy, so he wasn’t worried too much. He also hadn’t mentioned it to Louis as he knew his husband would frog march him off to the doctors, and Harry really didn’t have time for that.

He walked down the street, careful to avoid the other members of the public who were running their own errands, finding the cake carrier a bit cumbersome now. He felt grateful when Louis’ offices came into view, and he stopped at the crossing, waiting for the green man before he walked across, grateful it was a bit cloudy so he wasn’t too sweaty as he arrived at the reception, using his backside to push the door open.

“Hello, Luce,” Harry said with a smile, grinning at the receptionist who had been working at the company as long as Louis had. “How are you, love?”

“I’m - never mind me, look at you!” she said, standing up and rounding the desk. Harry set the carrier down just in time for Lucy to embrace him before holding him at arms length, her eyes sweeping down to the swell of his belly. “Oh, Harry, you look wonderful…”

“Not feeling so wonderful,” Harry mused, grabbing a tissue from the box on the desk and mopping his brow. “I wasn’t quite prepared for the less attractive side of being pregnant. It’s all glowing skin and big bumps in the magazines, but they don’t tell you about being so tired you fall asleep at the dinner table or that your feet look like balloons at the end of the day!”

Lucy laughed, nodding along knowingly. “Ah, I remember it well, love. But it’ll be worth it when you’re holding that little baby in your arms.”

Harry smiled wistfully. “Yeah, I reckon it will be. I can’t wait, actually. Never quite thought we’d end up here.”

“Good people get what they deserve. But anyway, what can I do for you, Harry?”

Harry held up the cake carrier, filled to the brim with cupcakes that the magazine had been sent. There were so many that Harry’s staff weren’t able to eat them all, so as usual, Harry had said to send them to Louis' office, before quickly changing his mind and deciding to deliver them himself. He’d glared at Liam when the deputy editor had started to protest before finally heading downstairs to grab one of their carriers, loading it up with Harry, who was thankful for the help.

“Got a delivery for Lou. We ate as many as we could, but instead of making ourselves sick, we thought we’d spread the joy a little.” Harry felt confused as he looked up and saw the odd expression on Lucy’s face, and the way she was nervously wringing her hands in front of her stomach. “Lucy? Did I say something wrong? I-”

“Harry, I don’t know how to say this… but Louis doesn’t work here anymore.”

Harry chuckled, shaking his head. “Pardon? He… he left for work this morning. What do you mean he doesn’t work here anymore? I don’t....”

Harry absolutely hated the look of pity Lucy threw his way before she spoke, looking more awkward as her eyes flitted down to Harry’s belly and up to his face again. “He got made redundant a few weeks ago, Harry. He left that day and never came back. I don’t know where he went today, but I haven’t seen him at all. I’m sorry, I thought he’d have told you?”

Harry tensed his jaw. “There’s got to be… let me call him, I can sort this out…” Harry fumbled in his pocket for his phone, his hands starting to shake now. He managed after a few unsuccessful attempts to lock it, but Lucy’s hand on his wrist stopped him. “This can’t- Louis wouldn’t… shit.”

“I’m so sorry, Harry,” she said, clearly upset by the scene that was unfolding in front of her. In the meantime, Harry had managed to text Louis, asking where he was, that he wanted to see him. His phone quickly pinged in reply, and Harry scoffed as he read it, his panic and upset quickly turning to anger and disbelief.

**Louis:** _ Sorry, no can do, love. In a meeting at work, won’t be out for a while! I’ll see you at home tonight. Hope you and bump are okay xx _

“What the fuck-” Harry muttered, locking his phone again. “I don’t… I don’t understand. I need to- I need to go.”

Without even saying goodbye, Harry turned as quickly as his pregnant belly allowed him and stumbled towards the doors, leaving the cake carrier on the floor. His hands were shaking, and his mind was running in circles as he leaned against the brick wall outside, wondering what the hell he was going to do. The Uber was still waiting outside as Harry had instructed, and he took a few deep breaths before he walked over, getting in quietly.

“Just drive. Please,” he instructed, watching as the driver shrugged and started the engine. They made a fair few laps around town while Harry seethed in the back seat, feeling more and more confused as time moved on. It was over an hour later that Harry convinced the driver to let him out around a half an hour walk from their house. He paid the ridiculous bill, hoping he’d be able to charge it back to work somehow, and started walking through the small meadow where he and Louis often took picnics in the summertime. 

It was hot, and due to the nice weather, there were a few couples and families dotted around, sitting around on blankets, chatting as the day went by. Harry felt downcast and clasped his hands under his bump, feeling the anger starting to come back. However he looked at it, Louis had been lying to him, and he had no idea for how long. As far as he knew, Louis had been getting up and going to work as he had done for the past twenty odd years, and despite his odd moods lately, Louis had given Harry no reason to think why.

Harry sat down on a nearby bench, feeling a little winded. It all felt too much, and he just didn’t know what to do. Perhaps this was why Louis had been so strange lately. It might not be the worry over Harry being pregnant and his impending fatherhood after all. Maybe he had issues at work, and he’d not bothered to divulge it to Harry. But instead of being an adult about it, Louis had spent the past god knows how long lying to Harry about it, fooling him and making him think things were normal when they were clearly anything but.

It wasn’t long before Harry was on his feet again, walking in the direction of home. His initial anger from Louis’ text had started to subside, and in its place, confusion was starting to take hold. Harry couldn’t understand why Louis had lied to him about being at work, let alone why he’d been pretending to go to work each day when it seemed it was the last place his husband was going.

He felt weary as he reached their house, pulling his keys from his pocket. There was no sign of Louis’ car in the drive so Harry went in, wincing as he bent down to pull his boots off. He tucked them onto the rack but paused when he saw Louis’ work shoes sitting there on the top shelf, confused since Louis had definitely worn them when he’d left home that morning. He walked through to the sitting room quietly, and stopped in shock. 

There, on the coffee table that Harry distinctly remembered cleaning up before he’d left for work, was a plate littered in crusts, a crisp packet and several beer bottles. It was a tip, and confirmed Harry’s worst fears that Louis most definitely hadn’t been at work, and that something was terribly wrong. The telly was muted and the Loose Women were chatting away in the background, so Harry reached for the remote, muting the show. He looked up just as a rather dishevelled looking Louis wandered into the room, an old basketball shirt on his top half, and a baggy pair of shorts on his lower half. He looked good, and Harry took a deep breath, taking in Louis’ shocked expression.

“Louis, what are you doing?” Harry felt pretty proud of how steady he’d kept his voice, his eyes fixed on Louis’ wide ones, watching a cycle of emotions pass over Louis’ features.

“Well, work sent me home early,” Louis said, clearly trying to sound casual and failing miserably. He cleared his throat as he made his way back to the sofa, hovering as if he wasn’t sure if he could sit down or not. “So I thought I’d just chill.”

Harry folded his arms across his chest, arching an eyebrow at his husband, knowing he was blatantly lying to him now. “Funny you say that, Lou. Because I’ve just come from your office. I thought I’d do something nice and surprise my husband with some cakes, but guess what? Lucy told me that you don’t work there anymore!”

Harry could see Louis’ face visibly lose any colour it had previously had, and he watched him swallow slowly, eyes darting around, resting on anything but on Harry. Louis opened his mouth like he wanted to say something, but when nothing came out, he closed them again, biting on his lip.

“What is going on, Louis?”

Louis’ hand came up to rub at the back of his neck, clearing his throat again. “Fine. I didn’t feel great this morning, so I came home-”

Harry could feel himself getting angry as Louis attempted another lie, his cheeks red now, betraying his lies. “So, the other day in the park when I bumped into you, you lied to me, right? You weren’t just having a break, were you? Then I came home the other day and found you with a couple of beers… exactly how long has this been going on?”

Louis didn’t say a word. 

“Say something, Louis.”

“Harry, I told you. It was just-”

“STOP LYING! Answer me, Louis, and tell me right now what is going on, or I swear to God-”

It was almost in slow motion that Louis crumbled right in front of Harry’s eyes. He collapsed to his knees, and Harry was shocked when loud sobs started filling the room, Louis’ back shaking with the force of his emotions. He looked up, and all Harry could think was that his husband looked beyond distraught. What the hell was going on?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eeek! Sorry about the cliffhanger.... more Thursday!


	12. Louis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this makes up for what I did to you last time, sorry!
> 
> Enjoy, and let me know your thoughts... the next chapter (13) is probably my favourite!!
> 
> xx

“Say something, Louis.”

Louis’ mind was racing. He’d never expected Harry to come home in the middle of the day, so for once, instead of skulking around town or lingering at the job centre in a vain hope of something turning up, he’d decided to come home an hour or so after Harry started work, lounging around drinking a couple of beers. Now, it seemed that was the biggest mistake he’d ever made. 

“Harry, I told you. It was just-”

“STOP LYING! Answer me, Louis, and tell me right now what is going on, or I swear to God-”

Louis rarely heard Harry shout. His husband was usually softly spoken, respectful to absolutely everyone so Louis knew he’d fucked up, and badly. Harry’s cheeks were red, and he stood tall, his bump protruding in front of him, and Louis was worried about the baby right now, given how stressed Harry was but he daren’t say a word in fear of Harry ripping his head off. An angry Harry was an unknown entity, and it was with the thought that Louis didn’t know the man stood in front of him that he crumbled.

He could feel his legs buckle, and he collapsed to his knees, his head in his hands. He started to cry; not quiet, calm tears but loud sobs that wracked his entire body. He felt ashamed and guilty, and he felt stupid. He just cried for everything that had happened, for whatever was about to happen between himself and Harry. 

His body jolted in surprise as he felt a palm rest on his back, but he couldn’t bring himself to look up as the hand started stroking him, shushing him soothingly. Louis pushed himself into the touch, letting it ground him as he wiped furiously at his tears with his t-shirt, feeling humiliated now. 

“Louis…”

“I’m fine,” Louis replied, his voice coming out husky and low. He sat up but stared at the floor, unable to look his husband in the eye. He accepted the tissue that appeared out of the corner of his eye, and he sniffed, hoping he didn’t look too much of a mess. “Harry, I…” he trailed off, not really knowing where to start.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you,” Harry whispered, tucking two fingers under Louis’ chin, making him look up at him. “Lou, look at me, baby. You’re scaring me. Please.”

Finally, Louis found the courage to look up, meeting his husband’s eyes. Harry’s green eyes were marred with concern, albeit a little red around the edges where he’d clearly been crying himself. Louis swallowed, quickly licking his lips as he let Harry pull him to his feet, wincing as he stood up straight.

“Are you alright?” Louis muttered as Harry nodded, lowering himself onto the sofa, one hand pressed at the base of his lower back. “You need to tell me if you’re not okay, if I need to get a doctor or something…”

“I’m fine. If you think I’m leaving this house right now, Lou, you’re sorely mistaken. I want to know what’s going on, and we’re not moving until you’ve told me everything. So go.”

Harry left no room for Louis to argue, and Louis sighed, realising this was it. The truth was coming out, like it or not. He’d managed a whole three weeks of lies and subterfuge but now, as he’d always feared, Harry knew something was up, and he wasn’t going to let it go. It was finally time for Louis to be honest. Louis figured it was best to be honest, to rip off the plaster and just say it, as terrifying as that thought was. 

“I’ve lost my job, Harry. I got made redundant.”

Louis didn’t miss how Harry’s jaw dropped at that, the way he blinked slowly then finally reached for Louis’ hand, tangling their fingers together. Louis felt his bottom lip tremble as he struggled to keep his composure, a stray tear tumbling down his cheek. It felt like an exorcism of sorts to finally get it out there, to say the words that had been trapped inside for so long, but Louis still felt sick, not knowing how things would go from here.

“Why?” was all Harry said, and Louis swallowed, reaching for his beer and taking a few gulps before he started to unravel his story.

“Redundancy. I told you weeks ago they were making cuts, but I didn’t think it would reach management. But, like three weeks ago, Dennis called me in. He was with someone from divisional management. I knew, though. As soon as I looked at them, I knew what they were going to say.”

“Shit, babe. Did they tell you why? Was it… did you do something wrong?”

“Only they know that,” Louis shrugged, tears stinging at his eyes again. “But they said the company is in financial trouble. That it wasn’t personal, and that they’d do their best to help me find something else.” He scoffed at that, shaking his head. “Bullshit, of course. I’ve not heard a fucking word. It’s like I just don’t exist to them anymore. But yeah, I’m out of work.”

“You… shit. I can’t believe this. So. What have you been doing?”

Part of Louis didn’t want to be honest. He wanted to lie, to make up something quickly that would impress his husband, but deep down, Louis knew he couldn’t do that to Harry. They were always honest with each other, and Louis had a lot to make up for in terms of honesty.

“I… I’ve been going out. To town, to the park… to see Phoebe.”

“You told Phoebe and not me?”

Louis didn’t miss the hurt in Harry’s eyes as he realised that, and he squeezed his hand tighter for a moment, wanting to make it right. “Harry, I didn’t mean to. On the day I- it happened, I drove around for hours. I didn’t want to come home, that kind of meant it was real, you know? I drove and walked around, but I was in like a daze? Nothing seemed real. Next thing I knew, I was pulling up and Phoebe was banging on my window, asking what the hell was wrong. It all just came out.” Louis was hating every moment of this, and he took another sip of beer, hoping it would numb some of the pain he was feeling. Harry staying so quiet didn’t help, either. “I was ashamed, Harry. Humiliated. I felt like I’d failed you. You and our baby. I still feel like that. A failure. A let down.”

“Oh Louis, don’t-”

“Please don’t say I shouldn’t feel like that. Please. Because I do feel like I’ve failed you. My job is to provide for the both of you, especially when you go on paternity leave. I want to bring home money so we can be comfortable, so our baby can have everything they need-”

“They just need love, Louis!” Harry protested, getting distressed himself now. “I want you, and I don’t give a shit what you do. We’ll manage, just… don’t think you’ve failed me. You could never.”

Louis shrugged his shoulders. “I feel I have, and you can’t change that, not for now, anyway. I got a redundancy payout, of course, but it won’t last forever. Like, everything is just starting to go well for us and now this. It feels so unfair. They didn’t have to do this now but they did, and left me in the shit. There’s no work out there, and I’m just… I feel so stuck, Haz. I’m terrified.”

Harry didn’t say anything. Instead, he pulled Louis into a hug, nestling his head against Harry’s chest. They were both quiet for a short while, and although Louis still felt heavy inside, sharing his burden with Harry felt better than just hiding everything away and letting it eat him up inside. Louis’ hand found Harry’s belly and he rested it on top, connecting himself to their little one for a moment.

“This isn’t your fault. It’s not. Stop blaming yourself and let me do this with you. We’re a team, yeah?”

Louis nodded, biting his lower lip to try and stop himself crying yet again. He’d shed more tears in the past day than he had the last few years. “I know. I just… I didn’t want you to be disappointed in me.”

To his credit, Harry seemed to bounce back, acting like he had to make things up to Louis for yelling at him earlier on. He called Liam and told him there was a problem at home and that he’d be back the next day, with Liam telling him to take care, and making sure everything was okay before he left him alone. Harry cooked them dinner and they chatted quietly as they ate, washing up side by side.

It was only a few hours later that Louis was beyond tired, struggling to keep his eyes open as they cuddled on the sofa, not speaking. They’d always been a couple who had been content with silence, just happy to be around each other, and it seemed tonight was no different. Louis didn’t feel an inane need to fill those silences like he had for the past few weeks, too scared of Harry bringing up something he couldn’t talk about to dare allow Harry to lead the conversation. 

“Let’s go to bed, you look as tired as I feel,” Harry mumbled against the back of Louis’ head, kissing him before he gently nudged him forward. Louis sprang to his feet and helped Harry up, seeing his husband was a bit sore, but Harry waved off his concern, collecting up the used mugs. “Lou, I’m fine. This bump is getting bigger, so I’m going to get a bit sore.”

“As long as you’re sure,” Louis said, heading off to double check the doors were locked, and that his husband and baby would be safe. They went upstairs together, brushing their teeth side by side at the sink, and Louis perched on the edge of the bathtub as Harry did his skincare routine, watching in awe as Harry lifted his shirt, exposing his bump as he rubbed his belly butter into it, determined to keep his skin as soft and supple as possible. “You’re beautiful like this.”

“Thank you, Lou,” Harry said softly, wiping the excess cream off on his hips before Louis handed him his t-shirt again, carrying it to their room. “You want the lights on for a bit?”

“I think I just want to sleep,” Louis admitted, curling up on his side of the bed. He stayed still as Harry pottered around, getting the last few things ready until finally, the bed dipped beside him and the room plunged into darkness as Harry flicked off the bedside light. “Thank you. For being so understanding.”

There was silence for a minute until Harry shuffled around, now facing Louis in the darkness. Louis stayed on his back, but he turned his head, making out Harry’s silhouette in the near darkness of the room. 

“I just wish you’d talked to me. That you hadn’t shut me out. I’d never have held it against you, surely you know that?”

Louis swallowed down the lump in his throat, nodding. “Yeah. And I’m sorry. Just me being… me, I guess. I love you.”

“Love you too.” Harry surged forward and pressed his lips against Louis’ in a gentle kiss, one that Louis treasured. “Get some sleep, babe. Tomorrow’s another day, we can face it together.”

It was at that moment Louis felt like the luckiest man alive. The moment he saw Harry appear in the living room, Louis felt like his marriage was over. He had a sinking feeling that Harry would walk away, and if Louis was honest, he wouldn’t have blamed him. But, as always, Harry had been his usual considerate and caring self, and hadn’t turned his back on Louis. Instead, he’d comforted him through what might be the worst moment of his life, and he was still here now, reassuring Louis.

As tired as he was, sleep didn’t come. Louis’ mind didn’t shut off, and he couldn’t stop himself from worrying about what he was going to do now. He didn’t know where to start looking for another job. He’d never really known what he wanted to do anyway and had fallen into his job, so starting over again at forty years old was honestly terrifying. Louis found himself nibbling at his nails, trying to be quiet so he wouldn’t wake Harry. He rolled carefully onto his side, facing away from Harry, hoping if he laid there for long enough, he’d fall asleep.

“Go to sleep, baby,” Harry muttered, surprising Louis as he shuffled closer. Louis felt his bump press against his back and he couldn’t help but smile, loving the closeness. Harry’s hand snaked around Louis’ waist, resting on his bare stomach. Harry kissed the skin at the back of his neck, making Louis shiver slightly. “I’m not going anywhere, nor is this baby. Sleep, and we’ll sort it together. I love you.”

Louis laced his fingers with Harry’s and brought his hand up to his mouth, kissing it before he placed it back on his tummy, enjoying being the little spoon. Usually, he was the one curled up around Harry, but now, Harry was giving him the reassurance and support he’d been craving for so long, but had been too scared to ask for. As usual, Harry knew what Louis needed and had given it to him without question. Finally, feeling a little calmer and safe with Harry’s arms around him, Louis fell asleep. 

*****

Louis stirred, stretching his long legs in bed, pushing the light sheet further down their bodies. He shivered slightly but put up with the chill, aware that Harry was so uncomfortably hot at night thanks to his pregnancy, a sheet was all he could bear to have covering him while they slept. Louis looked to the side, smiling softly at his still-sleeping husband, sweaty curls pressed to his forehead.

The sun was streaming through the curtains where they hadn’t quite met the night before, and Louis frowned at how bright it was. Usually, he got up when Harry went to work, and things weren’t usually quite so bright. He rolled over to look at the little digital clock on his bedside table, blinking blearily at it for a moment until the numbers registered.

“Shit!” he yelled, sitting up suddenly and jostling Harry from his sleep. “Harry! It’s nearly ten, you’re so late, shit!”

“S’fine,” Harry replied, his voice low and husky. Usually, that would affect Louis but right now, his heart was racing in his chest, and he couldn’t sit still. “Lou, go back to sleep.”

“Harry, you’re not awake. It’s nearly ten and it's a Thursday. You need to be at work-”

Harry surprised Louis by encircling his waist with his long arms, pulling him down and into his body. “Babe, I got the day off. Wanted to spend the day with you.” He leaned in, pecking Louis’ lips quickly before he buried his face in Louis’ neck. “Mmm. Smell good, Lou.”

It had been a few weeks since Harry had come home and found out about Louis losing his job. There had been a few days where Louis had felt awkward waving his pregnant husband off to work, standing in the doorway, wondering how he was going to pass yet another day. He’d made a start on the nursery, though, sorting out everything in his old music room and clearing it out, going as far as borrowing the carpet cleaner from his mum and giving the room a good going over. A day off with Harry, though, sounded like bliss.

“Really?”

“Really really,” Harry confirmed, kissing down Louis’ neck, nudging his leg between Louis’. “Wanted to do something nice for you, show you I love you loads.”

Louis sighed, trailing his fingers through Harry’s bed-head curls. “Don’t deserve you. You know that?”

“Stuck with me,” Harry shrugged, now a bit more awake. “Liam practically cried tears of joy when I told him I wanted a day off. He’s always nagging me for working too hard, so I think if I’d asked for another week off he’d have been happy to let me.”

Louis chuckled, knowing how protective their friend was over Harry, especially now he was pregnant. Part of him was grateful for Liam, knowing that occasionally Harry needed to be reminded to slow down, or to let other people take on tasks they could easily do. Liam had no qualms about that, thank goodness, and when Louis had called him asking if Harry had booked time off for their holiday yet, he’d been so excited for the pair, it had made Louis quite emotional.

They eventually dragged themselves out of bed, sharing a lazy morning shower together before they got dressed. The weather was nice enough that Louis dragged his shorts out, but Harry still squeezed himself into a pair of trousers, pulling the stretchy panel up over his bump. Louis made toast which Harry packed the picnic basket with everything he’d hidden from his husband, and they sat on the patio, taking their time and chatting quietly while birds flew overhead, chirping as the sun shone down on them all.

Louis insisted that Harry let him load up the car, the pregnant man lifting the picnic blanket and making a sarcastic comment that Louis just ignored, determined to keep the peace today. It seemed Harry had it all planned out, and they headed off on a road trip. For Louis, it was lovely to spend some stress free time with his husband instead of worrying about being out of work. He felt lighter than he had done in weeks, and as Harry reached a hand across the car, taking Louis’ in his, things finally felt like they were okay in Louis’ world.

“Oh, left here,” Harry instructed, and Louis did as he was told, turning down a small track. He slowed down, wanting to be careful with the precious cargo in the car, until finally, they came to a stop in a small gravel car park. Louis stepped out and smiled at the view over the nearby lake. The sun was shining, the grass and flowers around were beautiful, and it was utterly peaceful. “I’ve wanted to come back here for ages, and I thought it’d be nice to be outside together for a while.”

“I love it,” Louis said, coming to stand next to Harry now, wrapping an arm around his waist. “Shall we take everything with us, then we can just sit and rest?”

Harry nodded, and Louis lifted the basket out, only entrusting Harry with the blanket again, but this time, his husband laughed it off, clasping it to his front. They walked side by side until Harry found a spot he liked, surrounded by wildflowers, and near enough to the lake they could hear it lap against the shore. Louis laid out the blanket and watched as Harry lowered himself onto it, resting his hands on his bump when he was sat cross legged, closing his eyes and tilting his head back into the sun.

“You’ve grown again,” Louis commented as he settled next to his husband, kicking off his trainers, exposing his bare feet to the breeze. “Are they going to scan you when you go and get the letter to clear you to fly?”

“Don’t think so,” Harry said, laying back, his hands clasped behind his head. “They said they’d only do that if we were worried, and since this baby is a wriggle-pants, I’m not worried about anything. Why? Did you want a scan?”

“Nah, just wondered,” Louis mused, pulling his sunglasses down to cover his eyes. “Are they still waking you up in the middle of the night, kicking and stuff?”

“A bit,” Harry laughed, rubbing circles on his belly. “I’m sure the other night they got a foot stuck under my ribs or something, because they didn’t stop wriggling around for ages. Was nice though, I just laid there and felt everything. So weird, to think there’s a real little human in there.”

The couple chatted for a little while longer. Eventually, Harry started to doze, so Louis took the book he’d packed from their bags and began to read, letting himself fall into the story he’d read a few times before. Sometimes, he needed to read something familiar he didn’t have to concentrate on, and right now, that was what he needed. He only stopped when Harry sneezed, stirring himself from a sleep.

“Bloody hell,” Louis laughed, a hand flying to rest on his heart, “made me jump a mile! You alright?” Harry grabbed his bump and looked pained, so Louis threw his book down, hurrying to where Harry was laid. “Harry? Is it the baby?”

“Just strained myself sneezing,” Harry said, letting Louis help him sit up. “Can you get me a drink?”

“Here you go,” Louis said, passing Harry one of the bottles of water from their basket. “You sure you’re okay? We can go home-”

“No we bloody can’t,” Harry retorted, shutting down Louis’ suggestion. “We’re here to enjoy some time together. And… I wanted to talk to you about Majorca. No, don’t groan, Lou. I’m so excited for that holiday, I got our Euros from the Post Office the other day!”

“I was excited, love,” Louis reminded Harry, unable to look his husband in the eye again. “Only I would spend a small fortune on a last minute holiday right before I lose my job.”

“Hey. Stop.” Harry got onto his knees and shuffled closer to Louis, his hands cupping Louis’ cheeks as he made his husband look up at him. Louis finally opened his eyes, looking into Harry’s beautiful green orbs, his dark curls almost shining in the sunshine. “You didn’t know. Neither of us knew, and what you did for me, booking that holiday… Louis, it meant so much. You knew that I needed a break, and I can’t wait to spend some alone time with you, get a bit of sun, have a swim every day.”

“But we can’t really afford it-”

“We can. We don’t have to eat out at posh places, love. We can get some stuff in for breakfast and lunch at the apartment, and just have dinner out. I don’t want you to worry about anything. I just want us to enjoy this. It’s our last ever holiday as the two of us. From now on, it’ll be nappies and bottles and shit, so let’s just… be happy?”

Louis nodded, leaning in to kiss Harry gently. “Yeah, okay. I can’t just stop worrying, but I won’t lie, I’m looking forward to it. The guy who I paid for the apartment said the other people with access to the pool won’t be there, so we’ll pretty much have it to ourselves, which will be so nice.”

Harry nodded in agreement. “Definitely. I’ve been reading about swimming when you’re pregnant, and everything I’ve read said it feels good, takes the weight off your back, which I really need. I’ll probably live in the pool. I’ll get all pruney and wrinkly.”

“You do whatever you want, baby. I’ll always think you’re gorgeous, you know that. And anyway, that’s the whole point, for you to relax and chill out.”

They sat and kissed for a few minutes, enjoying the freedom of being out in the open and no one being around. Louis had missed intimacy with Harry, so even just some kissing was getting him worked up. He coughed and moved away, trying to adjust himself without Harry seeing, but his husband didn’t miss anything as usual. “Just from kissing, Lou? What are you, a bloody teenager?”

“Not my fault you know how to use those lips,” Louis replied, dragging the picnic basket near. They doled out the food onto the paper plates that Harry had taken from work, and ate and chatted, laughing together more than they had done in a long time. “I love you, you know,” Louis said as he laid on his side next to Harry, kissing his belly. Harry had hitched up his t-shirt to get some sun on his skin, and Louis hadn’t been able to keep his hands off Harry’s belly. The baby had soon started kicking again to their delight, and Louis had spent a good while just talking to the bump, wanting the baby to be familiar with his voice when they were born. 

“Hope I can be a daddy you’ll be proud of,” Louis said softly, kissing Harry’s bump again. “I love you so much already, but I want you to know I’ll do anything for you and your other daddy. He’s doing an amazing job growing you and keeping you safe, and it’s my job to be here for both of you. I promise I’ll do everything I can to make sure you both have everything you’ll ever need, that we’ll be happy together-”

“Louis-” Harry interrupted, struggling to turn over, looking at Louis again. “We haven’t really spoken about this whole job thing, not properly. But… can I talk about it, just for a minute, then I won’t say anything more, I promise.”

Louis nodded reluctantly, almost dreading what Harry was going to say. “Just… okay.”

Harry gave Louis a dopey smile, his dimple appearing in his cheek. Louis watched a little drop of sweat snake its way down the side of Harry’s face and down his neck, into the top of his t-shirt. “I want you to stop being embarrassed about losing your job. I know why you feel that way, but you don’t have to. It happens, love. Shit happens, and it’s not your fault. They’re arseholes for letting someone like you go, but you know what?”

“What?” 

“You’re going to find what it is you really want to do, and you’re going to be amazing at it. I’m going to be by your side the whole time, supporting you and being your little cheerleader, although I’m not sure the skirt will be very flattering at the moment.” He gestured down to his bump and Louis laughed loudly, loving how Harry had turned a serious moment around so quickly. 

“I mean it. We have my wages, which are enough to cover the bills. So we won’t be able to get our weekly takeaway for a while, but so what? We can be frugal, Lou. If I had to choose now between what we had a year ago, and what we’ve got now? I’d pick now every damn time. We have so much to look forward to. This here-” he rubbed his bump, smiling to himself, “is everything we ever wanted.”

Louis surged forward, kissing his husband roughly. “I love you. And I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I wasn’t honest in the first place.”

Harry waved off his apology, propping himself up on his elbows. He met Louis halfway in another kiss, only pulling apart when Harry accidentally knocked over one of his open bottles of water, causing it to seep into his trousers.

“Preview of what’ll happen in a few months time, huh?” Louis joked, trying fruitlessly to mop up the spill with the napkins Harry had put in the picnic basket. “Ah well. Just a bit of water, love, you’ll dry off.”

Harry nodded, laying back and shutting his eyes. Louis reached for his t-shirt, pulling it back down a little, not wanting Harry to get sunburnt or for the baby to overheat. He took advantage of Harry’s dopey state and pulled out his phone, snapping a few photos of his beautifully pregnant husband. He’d always thought a pregnant body was an amazing thing. Watching his sisters go through several pregnancies between them, and Sophia too, had left Louis in awe, but seeing his own husband go through it was something different altogether. To know it was  _ his _ baby in Harry’s belly filled him with a sort of male pride that Louis had never experienced before, and he was loving every second of it. 

“Harry?”

“Mmm?” Harry hummed in response, his eyes still closed and hands clasped just under his bump. He really was a vision.

“Thank you. For today, I mean. I really needed this. It’s just… it was nice to spend some time with you. It feels really shitty, watching you waddle off-”

“Hey!” Harry interrupted, opening an eye and glaring at Louis, making the other man laugh. “I do  _ not _ waddle.”

Louis chuckled, shaking his head. “You really do, babe. But anyway, it feels shitty sending my pregnant husband off to work when I’m sat at home on my arse-”

“Louis, for the love of God!” Harry sighed, throwing his hands into the air. “This is just how it is. I don’t… I don't know, hold it against you or anything. But you’re welcome. I do have to say, though, if you don’t shut up for a few minutes and let me have a rest, you’ll have a very grumpy pregnant man on your hands.”

“Fine,” Louis acquiesced, settling down next to his husband. Harry positioned himself so his head was in Louis’ lap, and Louis’ hand went right to his curls, weaving his fingers through them. Sometimes, it just hit him that they were really doing this. They were going to have a child, their own little human to take care of and raise. Harry was sacrificing a whole lot to carry their child, and Louis wanted to honor that. He wanted to give his husband everything, and losing his job had put a dent in that. But in this moment, sitting here with Harry and their unborn child, Louis thought he was pretty happy to be exactly where he was. 

*******

“Unkie Harry!” Roisin shouted, almost running full pelt into his legs before Louis managed to grab her under her arms, swinging her up onto his hip. She pouted, desperately reaching for Harry to no avail. “Loulou, I wanted to hug Unkie Harry!”

“Then you need to slow down and be careful,” Louis reminded her, grinning at his sister who appeared in the doorway. “Hey, Lots.”

“Is my daughter being a pain again?” she asked, taking her from Louis, who quickly set about hanging up Harry’s jacket and dropping to his knees to help him take off the boots he’d insisted on wearing that day. “You still fit your feet in those, Haz? By this stage in my pregnancies, my feet were like balloons.”

“His bloody are too, he’s just in denial,” Louis muttered, finally releasing Harry’s left foot from its black leather confines. “It’s sunny, Harold. You could’ve worn flip flops or something…”

“Wouldn’t have gone with my look,” Harry shrugged, finally reaching for his niece and hugging her close. “Hello, bug. I’ve missed you.”

“Unkie Harry, come play with me? You know how to play Barbies?”

Harry nodded, smiling at Louis as he headed off with Roisin, the pair chatting away. Louis watched them, wondering if this would be what it would be like when Harry got back from work in the future, their child all over him, eager to have him play with them, to just spend time together. He lost himself in his thoughts for a while, imagining how their bustling family home would be when their baby finally arrived, how he and Harry would juggle working, having a baby and their families too. The mere thought of it all made him smile, and he only came out of his daze when a little hand patted insistently at his hip.

“Uncle Lou? Uncle Lou? Are you okay?”

“Sure am, buddy,” Louis grinned, bending down to hug his nephew. “How was footie this morning?”

The little boy gave him a gappy grin, showing off where he’d lost yet another tooth last night. He and Harry had been treated to a bloody looking photo from Niall to show off just that fact, turning Harry a bit green. “It was good! Coach says I can play from the start of the match next weekend. Are you and Uncle Harry coming to watch?”

Louis nodded and followed Thomas into the living room, the little boy chatting away about his practise earlier on. He could see Harry and Roisin sat on the floor in the playroom from where he was perched on the sofa, and Louis listened intently, giving his nephew his full attention.

“Oh wow, mate, that sounds so good. Definitely inherited my footie skills, hmm?”

“You wanna practise in the garden later on? Dad’s always too busy to play, and anyway, you’re much better-”

“Oi! I can hear your rudeness, Thomas Horan,” Niall chided, laughing as he walked in, high-fiving Louis. “How are you doing, Tommo?”

“All good, Nialler. Thomas here was telling me about his practise this morning, me and Haz are definitely going to come to his next match. I think it’s just before we go away, actually, so that’s good timing.”

The three boys sat and talked amongst themselves. Thomas got more excited when Niall lent his son his phone, and Thomas plopped himself in Louis’ lap, eagerly showing his Uncle his fancy footwork, and the practise goals he’d got past the goalkeeper. Louis felt his heart swell in pride as he watched Thomas run around the grassy pitch in his football kit, loving how much he reminded him of himself when he was a young boy.

Lottie joined them after a while, listening as the men talked about sport, but eventually, she dragged the topic around to something else, and Louis happily allowed it. There was something wonderful about seeing his sister so happy in her life. Thomas slipped off his lap and curled up against his mum after a little while, playing a game on Niall’s phone, and it all seemed so domestic, so perfect that Louis just craved it for himself and Harry.  _ Not long now, _ he reminded himself with a smile. 

“You want wraps for lunch? That’s what the kids chose after school yesterday,” Lottie said after a while, and Louis nodded, happy to eat pretty much anything. “Good job really, I’ve got nothing else. You want to help me, love?”

Thomas nodded and held Lottie’s hand as they left the room. Harry still seemed happy with Roisin so Louis turned to his brother-in-law, sensing Niall wanted to talk to him about something. 

“Spit it out then, Ni,” Louis said softly, trying not to have his conversation overhead. At Niall’s confused expression, Louis just rolled his eyes, folding his arms across his chest. “I’m not gonna go off if you talk to me, you know.”

“Hazza told me not to mention it,” Niall said, not meeting Louis’ eye. “I don’t wanna stress you out, Lou. I just… I just wanted to check you’re doing okay. I know it’s been a while now, and I, uh, shit, don’t take this the wrong way-”

“Please don’t offer us money,” Louis suddenly blurted out, dreading the fact that that was what Niall wanted to say. “We’re fine in that respect. We’ve got savings, and Harry’s still working.”

“Oh. Well that’s good. But… you know if you need anything…”

“I do,” Louis said, with a nod he hoped held some finality to matters. “That being said, I’m getting fucking desperate to find a job. I even ended up in some shitty recruitment consultancy place last week. Haz found it online, thought it would be good. They were helpful, but it seems I’ll have to start from the fucking bottom again, I’m too old for that, Ni.”

Niall sighed, giving Louis a look that could only mean he didn’t agree with Louis but that he wasn’t going to fight about it. “You’ll find something, Lou. You’re a great guy, you’re a hard worker, and surely they’ll have to give you a bangin’ reference, you did great stuff there!”

“I guess. I just worry that for every job I go for, there’s like a dozen people half my age going for it. Then there’s Haz and the baby… I’m going to want paternity leave. This is just… the fucking worst timing ever.” He stopped talking as Harry appeared in the doorway, the sides of his hair now pulled back in bright pink glittery hair slides with a blue bow on top of it. He looked ridiculous, but Louis loved him even more for letting his niece get away with that. “Well, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?”

“Your daughter is destined to follow in her mother’s footsteps,” Harry said casually to Niall, gently lowering himself onto the sofa, his feet in Louis’ lap. “Although from the way she was yanking my hair, she needs a bit of practise first.”

They all laughed, and Louis helped a reluctant Harry to his feet a short while later when Lottie called them for lunch. As usual at the Horan home, they had to eat up the table so Roisin didn’t end up spilling food everywhere, and Louis laughed when Roisin darted into the empty seat next to Harry, leaving him to slide in next to Thomas, grinning at his nephew.

“Unkie Harry, why you got bigger?”

Everyone turned to look at Harry then, who proudly held his hands on his bump, looking like a perfect advert for pregnancy. “The baby in my belly is growing, love. So when they grow, my belly grows with them.”

“How old is the baby? I’m three. Are they gonna be three soon?”

Lottie smiled at Louis over her can of coke, all of them staying quiet, letting Harry talk. It seemed Roisin still didn’t quite understand the concept of babies and pregnancy, even though she’d recently been through it with her Auntie Phoebe. Still, Harry always had endless patience with children, and Louis just tucked into his lunch, stealing a crisp from Thomas’ plate when he wasn’t looking.

“Well, I’m twenty three weeks pregnant, love. The baby isn’t born yet, so it doesn't really have an age. But one day, they’ll be a big boy or girl like you and your brother, and you can play with them!”

“S’a boy or a girl?” Roisin asked through a mouthful of sandwich, deciding now was clearly the time to get all her questions off her chest. “And how did you getted it in your belly?”

“Uncle Lou helped,” Thomas piped up, and Louis just stared in shock while Niall choked on the drink he’d just taken. Louis could see Harry struggling to keep his composure, and Louis could feel his own cheeks burning, wondering how to answer his apparently too-wise nephew.

“How?!” Roisin asked, wide-eyed as she stared at Louis across the table. “You magic, Uncle Lou!”

Harry full on snorted into his wrap then, not meeting Louis’ eyes, but Louis couldn’t resist giving his husband a firm nudge on his foot, trying to ignore Thomas’ little fingers now stealing the crisps on his plate.

“Yeah. How, Uncle Lou?” Niall prompted, making Louis resist the temptation to show him the middle finger. “Oh, I cannot wait to hear this.”

“So, uh,” Louis said, quickly clearing his throat, desperately trying to figure out a way to get out of this mess. “Me and Haz- Uncle Harry, we, um… well. When you love someone, and you want a baby, you just…”

“When two people love each other,” Harry cut in, smiling fondly at Louis over the table now. “They hope really hard that they can have a baby, and if you’re really, really lucky, then it happens. Sometimes, you have to wait a really long time-”

“Like you ‘cause you’re old with grey hairs-” Roisin cut in, innocently smiling up at her Uncle, who just nodded in reply.

“Yeah, like us,” Harry agreed, the other adults laughing. “But yeah, sometimes you have to wait but if you’re super lucky like us, you get a baby to love.”

“But that’s-”

“That’s entirely right, isn’t it, Thomas?” Lottie said with a tone that nobody dared to argue with, so Thomas just grinned and nodded.

“I fink it’s so beautiful you and Unkie Lou gots a baby comin’, and I’m gonna be such a good big girl and help you out! I can do the babysittin’ thing so you can go to McDonald’s and stuff still!”

“That’s so kind,” Harry said, taking Roisin’s hand and bringing it to his lips, kissing it quickly. “We’ll definitely be taking you up on that, won’t we, Lou?”

Louis just hummed his agreement, trying to eat now, praying someone was going to change the subject. Luckily, Lottie did, telling Harry and Louis about the certificate Thomas had brought home from school the other day for his progress in reading, then they’d been forced to listen as Roisin talked about each and every sticker she’d earned that week as well. Everyone ended up clearing up around her, and eventually, Louis was left with just Roisin as Thomas stole Harry away, and Lottie and Niall took advantage of a few minutes to themselves, disappearing upstairs.

Louis was rinsing out the glasses when he felt a little pair of eyes boring into his back, and he turned to see Roisin stood there, her bottom lip tucked between the rows of her teeth, little blue eyes darting everywhere.

“What’s up, lovely?” he asked, drying off the last couple of glasses, setting them on the worktop, ready to put away. “Ro, you alright?”

“Yeah. Just… I dunno.” Roisin nudged the carpet with her toes, something clearly on her mind. Louis could see the uncertainty in her eyes, and he walked over, crouching down in front of her, taking her small hand in his.

“Look at me, Roisin,” he encouraged, happy when the little girl finally locked eyes with him. “You know you can talk to me, yeah? Or Mummy and Daddy, if you don’t want to talk to me?”

She mumbled something then, but Louis couldn’t quite catch it, given she almost said it under her breath.

“What was that, darlin’?”

“I… Thomas said when the baby comes out of Unkie Harry that you won’t see us anymore ‘cause you’ll love the baby more and spend all your time with them and never ever ever see us again.”

A lone tear snaked down her cheek then, and Louis quickly stood up, scooping his niece up and holding her close to him as she cried quietly, clearly letting out what had been troubling her for a while.

“Oh, Roisin,” Louis soothed, rubbing her back. He saw Niall come down the stairs then and he quickly shook his head, telling his best friend that he had it, and Niall just smiled and nodded, disappearing back up the stairs again. “Uncle Harry and I are so, so excited about our baby. We’ve wanted a baby of our own for a long time, but there’s no way it means that we will love you any less. You and Thomas are so special to us, and we both love you to the moon and back, you know that!”

“But Thomas said we won’t be able to sleep over and stuff…”

“Maybe not at first,” Louis explained, deciding honesty was the best policy. “Babies cry a lot, and Uncle Harry and I are going to be really tired with the baby. But when we’re all settled, we would love to have you and Thomas over again.”

“Really?” she asked, a hopeful little look on her face. “You won’t forget about me?”

“Never,” came a voice over Louis’ shoulder, and he fondly watched his husband walk towards them, resting a hand on Roisin’s back too. “You’re our little bug, you know that! We love you loads, and we always will.”

“Love you too,” Roisin muttered into Louis’ shoulder before she wriggled up, smiling to Harry, who was rubbing his belly. “Let me down, Loulou…”

Louis did as he was asked, and watched as Roisin stood in front of Harry’s belly, her tiny hands either side of the large bump, making Harry look even bigger. She leaned in, and Louis strained to hear, trying to keep a straight face.

“Be kind to Uncle Harry, baby, he’s so good and so nice and gives the bestest cuddles. You a lucky baby to have Uncle Harry and Loulou as daddies, keep growin’ and bein’ good! Love you!” To finish her heartfelt speech, Roisin planted a big kiss right on Harry’s belly button before she ran off, seemingly having unloaded herself of all her worries.

“Bless her, I didn’t even think a child would think like that,” Louis admitted, walking up to his husband and resting his hands on his hips. “I’m glad she seems okay now though. I’m sure she’ll have more to say when the baby is here, but for now, it’s all good. I wonder if Thomas is thinking the same… well, he must be if he brought it up with Roisin.”

“I’ll have a word with Niall,” Harry said, the pair pausing as they heard footsteps on the stairs. “Lottie, I hate to be a pain but the baby is really hungry, and they’re kind of craving some cake...”

Louis snorted at that, and Harry just turned, glaring at him.

“May I remind you,  _ darling _ ,” Harry said, a tight smile on his lips, “this baby is half you. That’s the reason I’m craving bloody junk food all the time. So don’t laugh at me.”

“I’m sorry, Boo,” Louis chuckled, loving how Harry’s cheeks went all pink when he was being indignant. “I’ll get you some cake. Any particular kind?”

“We literally only have Victoria sponge,” Lottie piped up, and Louis just grinned at Harry.

“Good job that’s your favourite, hey?”

“Bloody right,” Harry grumbled, but Louis could see the smile he was fighting to hold back, a hand resting protectively on his bump. “Any time today would be good…”

“Yes, dear,” Louis replied as Harry grinned over at him, heading off to attend to his husband’s every whim. Not that Louis minded, not in the slightest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Monday... SO looking forward to posting that one!


	13. Harry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been so excited to share this one, it's one of my favourites!
> 
> I can't believe there's only 5 chapters left to post now...
> 
> Enjoy this one, let me know what you think in the comments!! xxx

“Oh wow,” Harry gasped as he stepped out of the airport terminal, a wall of heat hitting him. His back was screaming in protest from being rammed in a too small plane seat for a few hours, and his feet ached from standing around in the airport to get their suitcases, but right now, none of that mattered. “It’s so beautiful, Lou!”

Harry turned, grinning at his husband, who was already sweating. Oddly, Harry felt a little turned on as he looked at Louis’ back, at the sweat patch down the back of his t-shirt, the way it made the fabric cling to his body. Louis pulled some papers from his pocket and looked at them before he tucked them away, pulling his sunglasses back down to cover his beautiful eyes, making Harry pout.

“We have to go over there to collect the car, love,” he said, taking both of the suitcases as Harry walked beside him, his bag hanging from his shoulder. He was grateful he’d changed on the plane into a loose flowy shirt, already feeling sweaty in every crevice, which wasn’t hugely pleasant. He had to admit he loved the attention he’d gotten from the air stewardesses aboard the plane when they saw his bump, and he knew Louis was quite proud of it too from how he’d sat smugly next to him, holding his hand for pretty much the entire flight. “Ah, here we are. Yeah, hi, we’ve got a booking for a car?”

Harry stood back and let Louis handle the paperwork, a bit too hot and bothered to worry about things like that. He looked around, smiling at a couple with a baby in a car seat by their feet. He took a few steps to the side so he could peek inside and his heart melted when he saw the sleeping infant, thinking about how next summer that would be himself and Louis, along with their baby. He caught the eye of the dad and smiled, the other man smiling kindly back at him.

“Oi, you’re spoken for,” Louis said softly in his ear, making Harry jump. Before he could argue, Harry could tell Louis had spotted the baby, cooing quietly. “Oh wow. They’re so little…”

“They are,” Harry agreed, feeling Louis’ hand rest on his belly. “You got the car, babe? I just want to get to the villa…”

“I do, just that Fiat over there,” Louis said, indicating it with a jerk of his head. “Come on, then. I’ll put the cases in the boot, you just get in. Need a hand?”

Harry shook his head and sat in the car, rolling his swollen ankles in small circles, trying to get the blood flowing. At almost twenty five weeks pregnant, Harry was experiencing more and more of the unwanted side effects of pregnancy, but he was trying not to moan too much about it. He’d wanted this for so long, and every development felt like something to be celebrated, although not all of them were joyous if you asked Harry.

Louis put the address for the villa into the sat nav and they soon whizzed off, the air con in the car a welcome addition for Harry, who could finally stop fanning himself with the leaflet he’d taken from the airport. They chatted as a Spanish radio station played in the background, and it was only around forty minutes later they pulled up in their space, Harry’s eyes lighting up at the little building they’d call home for the next week.

Louis led the way inside, and Harry just took it all in, loving how open and cool the building was, the tiles cool against his hot feet. They pulled open the patio doors together, opening the house up completely and Harry felt more than at home as he laid eyes on the pool.

He didn’t hesitate in walking up to the edge and sitting down, dangling his bare feet in the water. He felt Louis settle next to him, their little toes brushing as they swung their legs back and forth, creating small ripples on the surface. Harry rested his head on Louis’ shoulder, basking in the peace and quiet.

“I want to swim,” Harry admitted quietly, wrapping his foot around Louis’ ankle. “God, we’ve only been here a few minutes, and I feel so happy and relaxed already.”

“Go and get your swimmers on then,” Louis said, resting his hand on Harry’s bare thigh, his shorts having ridden up as high as they’d go. “We’ve got no plans here, love. It’s all about what we want, and when we want it.”

Harry nodded and carefully got his feet, leaving wet footprints as he headed back inside. The villa was all on one floor, and Harry wanted to kiss his husband when he realised Louis had already put their cases in their room on the bed. Harry made quick work of unzipping it and he found the trunks he’d packed, changing into them and rejoining Louis outside, a couple of towels in his arms, along with a bottle of suncream.

Harry was pleased the villa wasn’t too overlooked. There were fences around the pool area, and the tiny garden at the bottom had some trees along the fence that offered them some privacy. 

“Lou? Can you put some cream on me, please?”

Louis nodded and stood up, taking the bottle from Harry. Harry almost purred as Louis worked the lotion into his shoulders and upper back before he turned, letting Louis coat his chest. They both laughed as Louis slathered the baby bump in cream too, muttering about protecting their little one as he did so.

“You look beautiful,” Louis said as he finished up, sealing his words with a quick kiss to Harry’s lips. Harry kissed back and then headed for the steps at one end of the pool, carefully submerging himself in the water. It was cool on his sun-warmed skin, and Harry’s feet met the bottom of the pool, the water around his belly. He walked slowly over to Louis, running his hands back and forth until he quickly flicked water at Louis, making him squeal. “Rude!”

“You love it,” Harry said, putting his wet hands on Louis’ legs, laughing as Louis wrapped his legs around him, holding him in place. “This feels so good. My bump weighs nothing, and I don’t feel like I’m burning up from the inside…”

“Then you stay in there as much as you want, darling,” Louis said, leaning down to kiss Harry again. “Listen, I’ll go and unpack while you swim, then we can think about going to find somewhere for dinner?”

“Perfect,” Harry agreed, smiling as Louis stood up and pointed his camera at him. Harry repositioned his hands onto his bump, actually wanting some photos of this holiday to remember and to show their baby in a few years time. 

“Love you,” Louis called as he headed inside, leaving Harry outside, alone. 

Harry carefully tilted his body backwards, floating on his back, his bump poking up out of the water. Harry couldn’t hear anything, given his ears were submerged, but it was so peaceful. The sky was a vivid blue, with just a few clouds dotted around, looking like white candy floss as they floated across the sky. Harry let his eyes shut and he allowed his body to just float around, every ache in his body just disappearing.

He startled when he felt a hand skim down his side, and he manoeuvered himself to standing, facing Louis who was by now in the water with him. He looked ridiculously handsome in his navy trunks and his aviators on his face, and Harry loved that he couldn’t see the worry lines that had been etched into Louis’ face for the past few weeks. He looked relaxed and carefree, and Harry was so pleased they’d come away. They both needed this.

“This feels like heaven,” Louis admitted, his arms around Harry's waist now as they moved together through the water, the sun beating down on their skin. Harry thought about how tanned his husband would be after seven days of this mediterranean sun, and he smiled to himself, ducking under the water slightly, bringing Louis with him. Just their heads were poking out now, and Harry couldn’t help but kiss Louis. “What was that for?”

“For bringing us here,” Harry whispered, although it felt like there was no one for miles around. “I love that it’s private, and it’s just us. You and me together, for a week. No one to see, no one to interrupt us.”

Louis captured his lips in a kiss then, and Harry went easily into it, humming in pleasure as Louis’ tongue brushed over his own. “Thought of everything, didn’t I?” Louis smirked as he kissed again. “Got you all to myself for a whole week. Bloody perfect.”

A few hours later they were strolling hand in hand along the waterfront, stopping at each restaurant to read the menu. By now, Harry was starving and he just wanted to sit down with a tall cold glass of juice.

“Louis, this one looks good, let’s just go and sit down,” Harry pleaded, well aware he was whinging, but he didn’t care. He looked down at his swollen feet in his flip flops and tugged on Louis’ hand again. “Please, love.”

“Alright darling, come on then.”

They found a table outside and Harry lowered himself into the seat, exhaling loudly. “God, that’s better.”

“ _ Buena noches _ , can I get you some drinks?” a waitress asked then, and Harry smiled up gratefully, thankful he hadn’t had to wait too long for a drink.

“I’ll have a large orange juice and lemonade, please,” he piped up. He’d been thinking about that all afternoon, and right now, he wanted nothing more. “Lou?”

“Uh, I’ll have a large Peroni, please,” he said, and the waitress nodded, leaving two menus with them as she left. Harry eagerly opened it, his mouth already watering at the selection of food available. “It's beautiful here, isn’t it?”

Harry looked out over the ocean, watching couples walk together, individuals taking a stroll, children skipping along in their sundresses and shorts. “It is. A little bit of paradise. I can’t believe how hot it is, though.” Harry was wearing a linen paternity shirt, and some shorts, but still, he was sweating. He was grateful they were under a large parasol, but the air around them was so warm, it didn’t make much difference.

“I know, babe. Different kind of heat than at home. It’s just… it’s nice to be away, you know? To have other surroundings, so we can really forget everything, even if it's just for a week. Oh, thanks a lot.”

Harry snatched up his drink the moment the waitress set it in front of him, and he took a few thirsty gulps. “God, that’s good. Nice beer?”

“Yeah. Sorry, I didn’t think…”

“Lou, I don’t mind. I was never a huge beer fan anyway. You’re on holiday, do what you want, alright? Can we have a few more minutes please?”

“Certainly,” the waitress said, leaving them to it. Harry and Louis centred their attention back on the menus, deciding what to have just before the waitress appeared again, notepad in hand. “Sorry, did you choose?”

“We did. I’ll have the steak, medium please, and my husband will have the salmon and the salad. Thank you.”

“No problem. I will bring over some bread. And, um, congratulations on your baby. Very exciting for you.”

“It is,” Harry agreed, rubbing his bump. He loved that people out here didn’t seem afraid to address his pregnancy like they did at home, and he’d liked how people had watched him as they’d walked to find a restaurant, a few small children pointing and smiling at him, with Harry waving back. “Did you let our mums know we arrived?”

“Yep, while you were swimming,” Louis replied, his beer in his hand. “Beer tastes so much better out here. I don’t know if it’s drinking it in the sun or what but fuck, it’s so good.”

The restaurant filled up steadily around them, the sun setting as the fairy lights came on, casting a soft glow on everyone. Harry wasn’t sure the evening could get any more perfect. They ate eagerly when their meals were placed in front of them, stealing bites from each other’s plates, Louis making sure Harry only got the well cooked bits of his steak, avoiding giving him the pinker pieces.

“I really wanted an ice-cream, but I’m honestly too full,” Harry moaned as he settled back in his chair, his plate clear in front of him. “That was so good. I haven’t had salmon in ages. And that salad… I could eat that every day.”

Louis shoved the last of his chips into his mouth. “I’ll take your word for that, love,” he said, using his napkin to clean his mouth. “Well, got to say that’s a good start to our holiday. I thought maybe we could stop at that shop on the way home, grab some bits for the villa, drink and snacks, and something for breakfast?”

“Perfect, Harry agreed, giving the waitress some room as she cleared up. Almost as soon as she’d done so, someone else appeared with small plates of watermelon that they set in front of them. “Why don’t they do this at home? Oh my god, that’s so good…” 

Harry could feel the juice trickle down his chin but he didn’t care. The fruit was so ripe it almost melted on his tongue, and he was in heaven. He wasn’t surprised to see that even Louis was devouring his portion, not a big fruit fan but the watermelon looked so enticing, glistening with juice, clearly freshly sliced. 

The couple shared a few drinks, choosing to sit and people watch instead of heading back, wanting to make the most of being out together. The baby began to kick and Louis shuffled his chair closer, chasing the movements with his hands, the pair lost in their own little world. Eventually, exhaustion caught up with Harry and Louis paid the bill, thanking everyone as he led his tired husband out, Harry too tired to protest. 

They walked the fifteen minutes back to the villa, stopping for supplies as Louis had suggested, and Harry headed straight for their bedroom, sitting down heavily on the side of the bed. Louis stood and figured out the air conditioning unit, and Harry almost cried when cold air pumped through the room, bringing the room temperature down several degrees.

“Oh god, that’s good,” Harry said, wrestling his shirt off his sweat-sticky body. “I should shower but I’m too tired.”

“Don’t worry, love, we can share in the morning,” Louis said, closing the blinds, giving them privacy. They both stripped off, and Harry didn’t think twice before he shed all of his clothes, climbing onto the bed naked. “Mind if I…” Louis asked, tugging at the waistband of his boxers.

“Never,” Harry grinned, curling into Louis’ bare body once he was on the bed too. “Sleep well, Lou.”

“You too, baby. I love you.”

But Harry didn’t answer. He was already sound asleep.

*

Harry and Louis spent the next few days relaxing at the villa, and it was the best few days they’d had in a long time. As Harry had expected, Louis had turned a golden colour within what felt like a few hours, whereas he was still layering sun cream all over his body and avoiding the direct sunlight as much as he could.

Still, Louis made up for it by creating juice cocktails that he’d read about online, making sure Harry enjoyed every minute of their holiday. Being in the water had been amazing for Harry’s aching back, and he’d enjoyed the weightlessness of it, spending as many hours as he could in their pool.

For the first time, Harry had strutted out of the villa in the shortest shorts he’d taken to wearing when he got out of the pool. Louis had wolf-whistled at him making Harry blush, but it had given him the burst of confidence he’d needed to step out of the villa in them. They’d walked up the hill near the villa to a taverna for some lunch, sharing a pizza between them, with Harry ordering a fruit salad to share afterwards which he ended up finishing, not that Louis was bothered in the slightest. They strolled back, taking their time, and soon fell asleep on their bed, both relishing in the chance to nap in the middle of the day, especially Harry.

It was Harry who stirred first, stretching out his arms until he nudged Louis. He turned his head and smiled at his sleepy husband, admiring Louis’ tan and his features. Harry couldn’t help himself from reaching out and running a fingertip up Louis’ cheekbone, not even regretting it when Louis woke up, blinking slowly as a smile appeared on his face.

“Hi, gorgeous,” Louis said, his voice still husky with sleep. Harry loved it, and he leaned in, brushing their lips together. “Mmm, that was nice.”

“Yeah, it was,” Harry replied, shifting the pillow that was supporting under his bump. “I’m not sure I’m going to want to go back home, I’m liking this life of luxury.”

Louis chuckled, pulling Harry closer until his bump was against Louis’ tummy. “Tell me about it. I love being around you all the time, and just relaxing and watching you be all pregnant and sexy.”

Harry scoffed, tucking his hands under his cheek. “Sexy? I’m bloated, and fat, and-”

“Hey! That’s my baby, thank you very much. You’re definitely  _ not _ fat. You’re stunning. I know you don’t always see it, or understand what I say when I tell you how attracted I am to you like this, but believe me when I say you’re sexy as hell, Harry.”

Harry blushed, still not used to hearing things like this from Louis about his pregnant body. Harry had pretty much accepted the changes in him now, not overly bothered about the stretch marks that appeared on the underside of his bump, and he was used to his sensitive chest, but hearing that Louis found him sexy was still a little odd.

“Like right now, in those tiny shorts…” Louis didn’t finish that sentence. Instead, he wrapped his fingers around Harry’s wrist and guided his hand down, pressing it against his crotch. Louis was hard, and Harry swallowed deeply, feeling his own body begin to respond. “Harry…”

Harry pulled his hand away, and he watched as Louis’ face fell. Rather than saying anything, Harry knelt up on the bed and pulled off the tank top he’d put on to sleep in, throwing it to the floor. Louis’ eyes were wandering all over him now, and Harry slowly undid the tie of his shorts, wriggling them down his hips. It bared the soft underwear he’d taking to wearing since he’d gotten really big, more comfortable around his expanding body, and he felt good in it too.

He saw Louis’ eyes flick down to see where Harry was hard too, and his husband bit on his lower lip, clearly aroused by what he was seeing. It made Harry feel good, and he slipped his hand in his underwear, manoeuvering around his bump to touch himself for the first time in a long time. It felt in a way like he was putting on a show, and Harry had never felt more confident in his body, not for a long time.

“You can touch me,” he all but whispered, his heart beating erratically as Louis knelt in front of him, the pair face to face. The sunlight was peeking through the blinds but Harry could see Louis well enough, and was grateful that it wasn’t blazing sunlight on his body. The slight darkness cast shadows around that made Harry feel good about himself. “Louis, please.”

He shuddered as Louis’ fingers trailed down his chest, causing goosebumps to pop up in their wake. It was wonderful to feel Louis’ hands on him like this again, and Harry let his eyes close slowly, really focusing on what Louis was doing.

Louis’ hands were working over his belly then, dipping slowly underneath, and Harry gasped when Louis wrapped his fingers around him, just holding him there, not moving for a moment. Harry opened his eyes and was shocked to see how dark his husband’s eyes were, how much he clearly wanted him.

“I want-” Harry started, his voice catching on his words. Usually, he wasn’t shy about admitting what he wanted in bed from Louis, the pair willing to try pretty much anything together, but for some reason, the words were stuck in his throat, unwilling to come out.

“Tell me. I love to hear what you want, please tell me, baby. I just want to make you feel good,” Louis muttered, his hands starting to stroke over Harry now, working up and down in slow, steady strokes that had Harry trembling. “Say it, baby…”

“I want us to… you know,” Harry said, his words quiet between them, the tension thick now. “I want us to have sex again.”

Louis considered this for a moment, then he released Harry’s dick, sitting back on his calves for a moment. “Are you sure, love? I want to, believe me I do, but I need this to be something you really, really want.”

“I do. I honestly do, I miss us… being together. And you’ve been so patient, and it feels right, Lou, doesn’t it feel right? I love you, and I think… I need this. I need us to go back to… being us.” He shrugged then, running out of steam a little bit, but it must have been all Louis needed to hear because he surged forward, kissing Harry hard. Harry moaned in the back of his throat as Louis delved in with his tongue, trying to lower Harry backwards. “Mm, no-”

Louis pulled away and looked like he’d been slapped, but all contact between them stopped as soon as it had started. “What-”

“No, I didn’t mean no, stop, I meant… I want to be on top. Let me… please?”

Louis smirked and quickly laid down, patting his hips. “Come on then, baby…”

“I don’t want to squish you,” Harry mumbled as he straddled his husband, all of a sudden very aware of his bump and how prominent it looked like this. In a move that came out of nowhere, Harry ran his hand down himself, rocking his hips back and forth. He could feel Louis underneath him, and when Louis’ hands came up to rest on his thighs, fingertips digging into his skin, he knew there was no going back. Harry wanted this, more than he’d wanted anything in a long time.

“You’re so fucking gorgeous,” Louis mumbled, his hands on Harry’s hips. “Do you… have anything?”

Harry nodded, blushing slightly. “Yeah. I did, just in case… I was kinda hoping we’d get to this point.” Louis patted his thigh and Harry carefully got off, watching as Louis hopped up and rummaged in Harry’s washbag, coming back with the bottle of lube he’d packed. Before Louis got back on the bed, he stripped himself of his boxers and stood there, stroking himself as he looked at Harry’s body. “Lay down…”

Louis did and Harry climbed on top again, rolling his hips. He wanted to be touched, so he pinched his nipple between his fingers letting out a moan of pleasure. They were more sensitive than ever, but when Louis’ fingers worked over the other nipple, Harry bucked his hips, pushing down hard onto Louis’ dick.

“You want me to get you ready?” Louis asked gently, and Harry nodded, feeling Louis’ hands slip inside his underwear. Harry pushed back against him for a moment, breathing out slowly as Louis dipped his fingers between Harry’s cheek, brushing against his hole for a moment. “Been so long since I’ve touched you here…”

“I want it so much,” Harry said, his voice deeper than usual. “Please, Louis…”

Harry knelt up as Louis pushed his underwear down, the pair working together to take them off completely. Harry could feel Louis’ dick under his ass, and he rocked back and forth, having missed being naked with his husband. Harry leaned down to kiss Louis just as Louis pushed a finger inside, being gentle, treating Harry like he was something precious.

No words were uttered as Harry rocked back and forth on Louis’ finger, begging quietly for more when he felt ready. Harry was touching Louis all over, sucking a love bite into his neck when he could get to Louis’ neck. It wasn’t often they marked each other up in places they could be seen now, it wasn’t professional given they were both managers, but right now, Harry just wanted to see Louis in the morning with his mark on his neck.

Harry could feel his body sweating as Louis gently worked him open, much like it was their first time over again. Harry loved that he felt like he had control over this, that Louis was just happy to go along with what he wanted, to make this as good for Harry, for both of them, as he could. It felt so much to have Louis’ fingers inside him again, and Harry tried to concentrate, to let his body relax so he could take Louis once more.

“I’m ready,” Harry begged as Louis pushed in again with three fingers, pressing gently against his prostate. Harry’s body felt like it was on fire. He’d been used to his hand, so having Louis touch him like this was so much, and he couldn’t get enough. “Louis, I need you-”

“I’ve got you, baby,” Louis murmured, carefully sliding his fingers out of Harry’s body. Instead of wiping them down as Harry expected, Louis just gently touched around Harry’s rim, teasing him as he pulled Harry down, kissing along his jaw, whispering words of love to him. “Going to let you ride me, yeah? Let you feel so good on my dick, watch you make yourself feel good…”

“P-please,” Harry stuttered as Louis pushed just the tip of his index finger inside him again. “Want you to watch me…” Harry knew this was a bold thing for him to say but it felt true in that moment. Being so exposed to Louis over the past few had given Harry a confidence in his body he’d desperately needed, and he had a sudden need for Louis to watch him like this, proud of his body, of the baby growing inside him. “Now, Lou…”

Louis finally pulled his fingers away and reached down by his hip, holding up a condom wrapper. Harry quickly shook his head and raised himself up on his knees, wanting to feel Louis bare inside him again. He could feel Louis’ eyes burn into him as he teased him with the head of his cock until Harry had had enough and sank down, pulling Louis into him.

“Oh wow… you’re so hot, so tight…” Louis said with a rasp to his voice that made Harry shudder. “Look so amazing like this Harry, so full of me and my baby…” As he spoke, Louis’ palms cupped his bump until Harry was fully seated, Louis’ cock buried deep inside him. “Take me so good, baby.”

“Always do,” Harry uttered, circling his hips slightly, feeling more than comfortable, much to his surprise. “Love this, love you so much…”

Harry started moving then, letting his thighs control his movements, his hands teasing himself. He pulled and twisted at his nipples, feeling Louis hot and thick inside him as he worked his body up and down. He dared to look down at Louis and his husband just looked beautiful. Louis’ skin was golden, the mark Harry had put on his neck dark red against his tan, and it filled Harry with a sense of pride knowing he’d done that, marked Louis as his.

His thighs were already starting to burn from supporting his weight, and Harry’s bump felt a bit heavy like this, but all he could focus on was his pleasure, how Louis’ dick was pushing against his prostate at this angle. He tilted his body forward a bit, his belly resting against Louis’ stomach now, and he grinned down at his husband, seeing nothing but love reflected in his eyes.

Harry’s pants filled the room as he started to struggle a bit, his body aching now. It was like Louis could sense it because he planted his feet on the bed and began to thrust up, but it wasn’t quite enough to push Harry over the edge. His orgasm was pooling in his belly, but he knew he needed something else to push him over the edge. As if Louis could read his mind, he paused, stroking his hand up and down Harry’s bare thigh.

“Babe, I’ve got an idea… if you get off me a sec…”

Harry pouted but did as Louis asked, wincing as Louis’ dick slipped out of him leaving him empty, and he sat there in the middle of the bed, hard and needing to come, rubbing his belly.

“Shuffle up to the headboard, kneel in front of it… that’s it, love. I can… fuck you from behind and you’re supported… want to try?”

“God yes,” Harry begged, wondering why he hadn’t thought of this earlier. Louis slid in easily, but in this position he still had control, slamming back against Louis’ hips, burying Louis deep. “Oh fuck, Louis… I need to come, please-”

“I’ve got you,” Louis murmured into his ear, stilling his hips for a moment as he kissed Harry’s neck. “Love when you taste like this, all sweaty and mine…”

Louis’ hand was around Harry’s cock and he started to stroke in rhythm with his thrusts, driving Harry closer to the edge with every slam as their bodies came together. Harry felt entirely wanton, taking what he wanted from his husband as well as finally having sex again. 

“So gorgeous… come for me, Harry…”

“I just… Louis, please, I…  _ oh…” _

Harry’s body spasmed as he came hard, splattering against the headboard, Louis’ hand working him through it. He was moaning loudly, Louis encouraging him as he closed his eyes, tilting his head back as the waves of pleasure rolled over his body. He only batted Louis’ hand away when he felt too sensitive, but whined when he felt Louis pulling out, pushing back against him to keep him inside.

“No, inside,” Harry pleaded, needing that connection with his husband. Louis didn’t bother to check. He just upped his pace again, their skin slapping together loudly as Louis pounded into Harry, seeking his own release. “Fill me up, Lou…”

“Gonna-” Louis stuttered as he snapped his hips a few more times before he came with a cry of his husband’s name, gripping Harry’s hips in a vicelike hold, pushing himself in as deep as he could go. Harry could feel Louis leaking out of him as he thrust in and out, but it felt good to be so dirty like that again.

Eventually, they couldn’t hold themselves up anymore and Louis slid out of Harry, helping him down to the mattress before he settled himself, pulling Harry into his side. Harry winced slightly, his tummy tightening but he’d read up on this before they’d gone away, knowing it was just his muscles experiencing residual effects from his orgasm, nothing worrying for the baby.

“You alright, darling?” Louis asked, tucking a bit of hair out of Harry’s face. “I… that was amazing. I’ve missed you like that.”

They kissed gently for a moment before Harry nodded, slotting a leg between Louis’. “Yeah, I’m good. No, I’m good, I’m fucking great. That was so good, Lou.”

“You looked amazing on top of me, did you know that? Your belly just looks so sexy, the way you were riding me…” Louis shivered and Harry giggled, burying his head in Louis’ neck. “No, don’t get shy. Let me tell my pregnant husband how fucking good he looked on my cock, his belly full of my baby…”

“Louis…” Harry whined, his cheeks hot with embarrassment. He went quiet for a moment, reaching down for Louis’ hand. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me for sex,” Louis started, but Harry stopped him with a kiss.

“Well, I will. I was nervous but you made it so good. You made me feel wanted, and loved… you’ve been so patient with me.”

“Hey,” Louis said, sitting up slightly, facing Harry now as Harry laid on his side, a pillow shoved under his bump. “You’re growing a whole human in there… this is all about you, okay? Whatever you need, whenever you need it. I love you, and this baby, so damn much.”

Their hands rested on Harry’s swollen belly as their lips met again, losing themselves in each other until-

“Oh my god.” Harry’s eyes flew open and he hurried to plant both hands on his belly, chasing the feeling. 

“Was that-”

“I don’t know, I… oh! Did you-”

“Hi baby…” Louis said, his voice laced with emotion. “They’re really here, Haz… kick again, please!”

“Did my huge stomach not give you a clue they’re real?” Harry laughed as the baby kicked again, right against Louis’ hand. “Oh god, we’ve woken them up!”

“Shit… do you think it was my…”

“You’re not  _ that _ big, Louis,” Harry replied, rolling his eyes. “Must just be… the motion? Or my, er, my-” he lowered his voice for the next word, “my orgasm?”

Louis burst out in laughter at that, muffling his face against Harry’s belly. “Either way, I don’t care. I’ve wanted to feel them for ages. Best fucking holiday ever, huh?”

“Definitely,” Harry whispered as Louis settled down, his head on Harry’s chest, facing the bump. “Best week ever.”

*****

“Hold the wall, don’t fall over,” Louis instructed as he bent down, helping Harry slide his swollen feet out of the flip flops. “There we go.”

“Thank you, my love.” Harry smiled and leaned in, kissing Louis quickly. He watched as Louis kicked off his trainers, holding them in his free hand, the one not in Harry’s. “I love the sand between my toes.”

“Me too. It’s so lovely out here, isn’t it?”

“I just wish it wasn’t the last day,” Harry lamented, feeling a bit sad that already, the week had whizzed by. “It’s gone too quick, I don’t want to go home.”

Louis squeezed his hand in solidarity. They kept walking along the beach, smiling at a few people that walked by. Harry looked down at the outfit he’d chosen that day. He was wearing a bright blue tank top that clung to his bump with some soft white shorts that were a little short to be acceptable, but he was comfortable and felt good. Louis had kissed him deeply when he’d stepped out of the bedroom so that was good enough for Harry to want to wear it out.

They’d decided to spend their last day relaxing, since the day before they’d gone out in the hire car to Palma, exploring the city together for the day. They’d bought some souvenirs for Roisin and Thomas, as well as Liam’s children, and Louis had got Harry a bracelet he’d eyed up in a jeweller’s windows, much to Harry’s delight. He’d been exhausted when they’d got back to the villa, and Louis had gone off and brought a pizza back, which they ate on their sun loungers, the last vestiges of sun warming their skin.

They’d stopped for lunch on the way to the beach, sharing a plate of tapas and downing tall glasses of ice cold lemonade, chatting about the baby, and the nursery Louis was going to start work on when they got home. They’d got a waiter to take their photo and they’d sent it to their mums, telling them they were having an amazing time, their tanned skin and wide smiles saying everything.

Now, though, Harry felt like he was the most relaxed he’d been in years. The sand was warm and soft between his toes, his hand was sweating in Louis’ but he didn’t care. He felt closer to Louis now, and they’d made love that morning in bed before they shared a shower, enjoying every inch of each other.

“There’s an ice cream seller over there, want one?” Louis asked, and Harry nodded, letting Louis wander off to get them while he lowered himself onto a bench, putting his flip flops on the floor. He glanced out across the beach, watching some teenage boys attempting to play football a little further up the beach, couples like himself and Louis walking hand in hand. “Here you go, love.”

“Thanks, sweetie,” Harry said, taking the cone and immediately licking around, collecting the ice cream that was already melting in the sun. “God, I love these ice creams, but I can’t eat it fast enough!”

Louis agreed, and they sat quietly as they ate the ice creams as quickly as they could. Despite that, they ended up covered with sticky fingers until Harry made Louis go and buy a bottle of water so they could at least rinse their fingers off. Part of Harry didn’t want to move. He was comfortable, with the sun warming his skin, his husband by his side.

“Haz… look.” Louis pointed off to the shoreline where there was a man crouched down, carefully the toes of his baby in the water. They couldn’t hear anything from where they were sat, but Harry could imagine how the baby was giggling at the cold water lapping at their toes, but when the man shifted, turning the baby more towards where Harry and Louis were sat, his heart melted at the expression of joy on their faces. “Wow. One day that’ll be us, love.”

“How old is that baby?” Harry asked, knowing Louis had more of an expert eye than he did, having grown up around babies. “Six months?”

“Maybe, perhaps a bit older,” Louis mused, taking Harry’s hand in his own again. “I know you’re pregnant, and I know we’re having a baby, but sometimes I see things like and it feels so surreal, you know? That it’s going to be us in a few months time. I’d really come to terms with the fact we’d never have our own baby, that I’d never be a dad, or see you hold our child. But now we’re going to, and it’s just… I feel so overwhelmed with happiness.”

Harry turned, pulling Louis into a hug. “I know. It’s hard for me to get my head around too, and I’m the one with the huge belly, and the wriggly baby inside them. But we are so lucky to be experiencing this. I know we’re older parents and that used to worry me, but now? Now I just think of the benefits of that. We’ve got a lovely home for them, we have so much love to give, we’re patient, kind… we’re good people, Lou. And so will our baby be. And there’s no one in the world I’d want to be doing this with other than you.”

They kissed gently, keeping it chaste given their public setting, but Harry could feel the love between them. The man with the baby disappeared after a while, and Harry stood up, wiggling his toes in the sand again. They strolled along the beach, Harry stopping to buy a keyring from a small stall so he could remember their trip, until they felt tired, and Harry’s ankles ached from supporting him.

“Before we go, I just want to get a few photos,” Louis said, pulling his phone from his pocket. “We don’t actually have many of you pregnant, and this is a lovely backdrop. Put your back to the sea, turn to the side… that’s it.”

Harry grinned at the camera, cupping the underneath of his bump. Usually, he shied away when Louis pulled out a camera, but the idea of having photos to look back on when their baby was here was appealing, as well as being able to remember how it felt to grow a baby inside him. 

“Excuse me,” Harry suddenly called to a lady walking by, stopping her in her tracks. “Would you mind taking a quick photo of my husband and I please?”

“No problem,” she grinned, taking Louis’ phone from him. “Aww, you make a lovely couple! Smile!”

They did, and Harry laughed when Louis kissed his cheek, the woman snapping away as they playfully posed, the final one being Harry’s favourite. He walked over, taking the phone back and thanking the woman, who went on her way, wishing Harry a healthy pregnancy.

“Oh Lou, look at this one…”

Louis stood behind Harry, his chin over his shoulder as they both smiled happily at the camera. Both sets of hands were on Harry’s bump, and they looked like the picture of happiness. Harry’s bump looked surprisingly large, but Harry loved it, how their family was growing. “Gorgeous,” Louis said, pecking Harry again. “I think we’ll have to print that one, frame it.”

“Definitely,” Harry agreed as they started to walk again. “Ready to head for some dinner?”

They ate the restaurant they’d been to the first night in Majorca, feeling like they’d gone full circle. Harry restrained himself with a chicken salad, not wanting a huge meal on top of flying the next day, whereas the same couldn’t be said for Louis who ordered an enormous pork kebab and a pile of chips, which he ate easily. They shared a plate of watermelon afterwards before finally, they walked home, the evening much warmer than any other.

By the time they arrived back at the villa, Harry was sweating and his hair was sticking to the back of his neck. He hated that he’d forgotten a headscarf to hold his hair back, and as they walked through the patio doors, he made a decision.

“You want a drink?”

“No, I want to do this,” Harry stated, standing on the patio area. It was silent around them, the pool and patio lights offering a bit of light. He peeled off his tank top, throwing it to the floor.

“Well, you can do that anty- oh.” 

Harry smirked as he pushed his shorts and underwear down his legs, leaving him naked. No one else could see, and he turned quickly, sliding into the cool water. It felt odd to be bare like this, the water tickling areas that were usually covered by his trunks, but it felt incredibly free.

“Join me,” he called, grinning as Louis hurried to strip himself. Instead of carefully getting in like Harry had done, Louis ran and cannonballed into the water, drenching Harry as the water flew around him, soon resurfacing with a gasp. “Bloody idiot.”

“Your bloody idiot,” Louis laughed, swimming over and pulling Harry close. “God, this is so nice. Why haven’t we done this before?!”

“No idea,” Harry said, kicking his feet gently. Louis swam away and Harry just moved around the water, enjoying the weightlessness once more. He was peacefully swimming when all of a sudden, something hit him in the side of the head, making him turn around, frowning at Louis. “Did you just throw a beach ball at me?”

“Yes. I did.”

“Right. That’s it.” Harry swam a few strokes over and grabbed the ball, smirking at his husband. “You’re going down, Tomlinson.”

“Oh bring it on,” Louis taunted from across the pool, flexing his muscles and making Harry laugh. “You’ve never been a good shot-OW!”

“YES!” Harry yelled as he fist pumped the air, laughing as Louis raised the middle finger at him across the pool. “Don’t underestimate me, you dick!”

The next ball Louis launched over missed Harry’s face but landed just in front of him, splashing him. The game continued for a while until Harry lobbed the ball into the garden, just wanting to be close to Louis. He swam over and clung onto Louis like a koala bear, the water making it possible. Louis kissed his cheek and supported him, holding Harry under his thighs as they swayed in the water.

“I love you so much,” Harry said quietly into Louis’ ear. “This has been the perfect holiday. Just what we needed. I feel so chilled out, ready to head back to real life, you know? All recharged.”

“Happy to hear that,” Louis said, shifting his hands to Harry’s ass, making Harry whimper. “I’m going to miss being able to swim with you, and lay in, and walk on the beach, though.”

“Me too… ah, Louis…” 

Louis was teasing Harry, grazing his finger between Harry’s cheeks, making Harry writhe against him. Harry couldn’t help rutting against Louis slightly, but his bump stopped him from being able to get friction where he really needed it. Louis started moving them through the pool until Harry’s back was against the wall, the pair kissing hungrily by now. 

“Gonna get you off here,” Louis said, his hand snaking down into the water and under Harry’s bump, touching his dick. “You want that?”

“Please,” Harry gasped out, pushing his hips into Louis’ touch. The thought they were kind of doing this in public was getting to him, and he didn’t hold back his moans and cries as Louis’ hand worked frantically under the water, and Louis’ lips teased Harry’s nipples. “Don’t stop…”

“I won’t,” Louis whispered against Harry’s skin, rutting himself against Harry’s thigh now. It was filthy, and hot, and exactly what Harry needed for their last night… something fun and something for them to remember. The water splashed around them until Harry came with a shout, scrunching his eyes shut as he came into the water. Louis followed shortly after against Harry’s thigh, kissing him filthily as he did so. “Wow.”

Harry was trying to catch his breath, grateful his feet could touch the floor. He laughed as Louis scooped him up and scooted across the pool, letting Harry relax again now they were in a clean patch of water. Without warning, Harry held his breath and dunked under the water, the temperature so cool on the top of his head, and he resurfaced, pushing his hair back with one hand.

“It’s like a real life Baywatch scene,” Louis chuckled, going onto his back to float across the surface of the water. He was a vision like this, all laid out for Harry to ogle, which he did happily. The moonlight bounced off Louis’ wet skin, and Harry swam over, positioning himself behind Louis’ head. As he leaned over, he dripped water onto Louis’ face, making his husband’s eyes open. “Hey.”

“Hey yourself,” Harry muttered, leaning down to kiss Louis gently. “Let’s just stay here forever, yeah?”

“I wish,” Louis said, Harry supporting his head, keeping them close. “If only we could be this lucky.”

*****

Eighteen hours later, a very tired and cranky Harry was trying to get comfortable in the passenger seat of their car as Louis drove them home from the airport. The flight had been peaceful, thankfully, but Harry had found himself uncomfortable in his seat, wriggling and whining the whole time. He knew part of it was just feeling stroppy at having to come home, but he hated being sat down as well, preferring to be moving around.

“Not long, darling,” Louis said, reaching over the middle of the car to rest a reassuring hand on Harry’s thigh. “You can have a nap when we get home, I’ll put the washing in and stuff. You just rest, you’ve got work tomorrow.”

“Don’t remind me,” Harry grumbled, shifting again in his chair. He shut his eyes, and the next thing he knew, Louis was stirring him awake, gently saying his name over and over. “Hmm? What?”

“We’re home, love. I’d carry you in but I’m not risking you or the baby, sorry.”

“Nah, I can walk,” Harry said, stretching out his sore back. “God, that felt like the longest car ride in the world. Can you get the cases?”

“Of course. Go and get the door, babe.”

Harry nodded and got out of the car, pleased in a way to see their home. They’d moved in here nearly ten years ago now, their dream home in so many respects, and Harry couldn’t wait for the day they brought their baby home. He knew it would be here sooner rather than later. 

The door key was in his pocket so Harry fished it out, holding it up to the lock. The door swung open, and Harry frowned when he didn’t see a pile of mail behind the door as he’d expected. He sighed, realising his mum had probably been in while they’d been away, that she’d stocked the fridge or something like that. He was about to kick off his shoes when he heard a thud from upstairs and paused, his heart rate raising.

“Harry, shift your arse- what’s wrong?” Louis asked, setting the cases down when Harry turned and he saw his face. “Haz?”

“There’s someone in our house…” Harry whispered, gulping. He suddenly felt a bit scared, and he stepped out of the way as Louis walked around him, grabbing a golf umbrella that Niall had left in the hallway months ago, wielding it like a weapon. “Louis, don’t-”

“Stay here,” Louis instructed, and Harry just nodded. They both froze as they heard heavy footsteps on the wooden stairs, getting closer. “Fuck-”

Louis walked a few more steps in, and Harry held his breath, hoping his husband wouldn’t get hurt. He was about to follow Louis in when he heard a loud scream, then his husband shout-

“Oh my god! What the fuck are you doing here?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who is it?! More Thursday!!


	14. Louis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go again! I really liked this one, full of family love!
> 
> I do love no one guessed their surprise visitor! Hope it was worth the wait!!
> 
> Let me know in the comments if you enjoyed it! xx

Louis held up the umbrella, wishing he had something slightly more threatening. No matter what, he had to protect Harry, and he hoped his husband had listened and stayed outside. They’d been careful not to put anything about their holiday on social media so that it wasn’t obvious the house was empty, but Louis knew there were chancers everywhere. But this was his home. He had to defend it.

“Fuck-” he muttered as he heard footsteps on the hallway above him. He walked a few more steps in and looked up, his grip on the umbrella handle tightening. He looked up as the intruder hurried down the stairs, and Louis drew back, ready to strike when-

“Argh! Don’t!”

Louis blinked, stunned by who was standing in front of him, cowering in obvious fear.

“Oh my god! What the fuck are you doing here?”

Louis heard rather than saw Harry hurry in behind him, and he gasped, pushing past Louis.

“Gemma?! Are you- oh god!”

There was almost a sob as Harry ran into Gemma’s arms, the poor woman struggling to get her arms around her brother, but she tried hard, holding Harry as he cried into her shoulder. Louis grinned and gave them a moment, retreating to the car to fetch the cases back inside. By the time he’d dragged them upstairs and had taken his shoes off, Harry and Gemma had migrated to the living room, with Harry curled up against his sister.

“So lovely to see you, Gem,” Louis said to his sister-in-law, dropping a kiss on the top of his head as he walked over to the other sofa, settling down. He felt tired after the drive from the airport, but the tingle of excitement in his bones at seeing Harry so happy had woken him up a bit. “Bit of a surprise, though…”

“Mum’s idea,” Gemma laughed. “We knew you two were back today, so she suggested I be here to welcome you home. Didn’t exactly expect to be nearly attacked with an umbrella, though…”

“Yeah, sorry about that,” Louis said as all three of themlaughed, Gemma waving off his apology. “We weren’t expecting you, and Haz heard a noise…”

“Don’t blame me!” Harry shrieked. “I’m in protective Mama bear mode at the moment, you can hardly blame me…” He rested his hands on his bump with those words and Louis’ heart did a funny swoop in his chest at the sight of it.

“Speaking of… look at you, baby bro. All knocked up… been corrupting my baby bro, Louis?”

“Tea, anyone?!” Louis called, quickly getting to his feet and leaving the room. He really wasn’t up for discussing his sex life with Harry’s sister, and he could hear the pair giggling away as he set about making three cups of tea. He rummaged in the cupboards and found a packet of shortbread as well, suddenly a bit peckish. “Here you go, loves.”

“Thanks, Lou,” Harry said, his voice soft in that tone he reserved especially for his husband. “So how long are you here for, Gem?”

Gemma swallowed the biscuit down and smiled over to her brother. “About a week or so. I finished all the edits for the new book so I had a bit of time to myself, and thought I’d better come and visit my baby brother. I just… I can’t believe how big you are!”

They all sat and discussed the pregnancy for a while, Harry hurrying off to find the scan photos they’d got so far, as well as regaling Gemma with tales of their holiday and their photos, which she dutifully sat through. Eventually, Harry had to pee and waddled off, making Gemma giggle in his wake, prompting Harry to flip her off from the doorway before he all but ran off, squeaking in protest at his useless bladder.

“So, how is he really coping?” Gemma asked, leaning forward slightly, her elbows on her knees. “I know my brother, Lou. He likes to plaster on a smile and pretend everything’s okay…”

“He’s honestly doing great,” Louis admitted, a sense of pride evident in his voice. “We had a bit of a wobble at first, with Harry struggling with the whole idea of pregnancy and his body changing, but… this holiday showed me he’s really gotten comfortable with his changing body. It was great to see, actually, the way he strutted around with his bump out, letting everyone see.”

Louis lost himself in his thoughts for a moment, remembering Harry walking along the beach in his tiny shorts, happily laughing and joking with Louis, utterly carefree. He remembered how it felt for them to make love in their bed, how open Harry had been with his body, how turned on Louis had been by him. Everything felt like it was going so well, and Louis couldn’t wipe the soppy smile from his face, Gemma picking up on that.

“Yeah, alright, I don’t need to know those sort of details,” Gemma chuckled, shaking her head. Her dark hair hung down either side of her face, and for a moment, Louis was struck by how similar the siblings looked, wishing Gemma could be around more. She was good for Harry, and Louis felt Harry was really going to appreciate her company over the next week. “And the baby is okay?” Gemma questioned, frowning slightly. “I don’t mean to be nosy, but when Harry chats on the phone with me, he’s always got so much to say I never get to ask these things, and Mum just tells me to ask him…”

“You can always call me,” Louis said, taking Gemma’s hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. “I’ll always be honest with you, you know that. But the baby is great. We had the amnio and everything seems fine. We’ve just got the long wait for them to arrive now.”

“Okay, you can stop talking about me now,” Harry sang, strolling back into the room, bump sticking out. “Gem, did you want to come upstairs and see some of the things we’ve bought the baby so far?”

Gemma jumped at the chance and Louis sat back while Harry took her off, the pair chatting excitedly amongst themselves. Louis quickly texted Jay to say they’d got home safely and about Gemma’s arrival, knowing she’d be just as happy to see Gemma as Anne would be. They’d all spent too many celebrations together for the families not to be close after so many years.

Louis and Gemma made dinner for the three of them as Harry sorted out the suitcases, insisting he was more than capable, although Louis insisted he carried the washing basket down the stairs, just to be safe. They ate bowls of chilli on their laps as they listened to Gemma’s plans for her book launch, Harry over the moon to find out it was going to be after he’d given birth so he could attend and enjoy a glass of champagne. 

By the time they retired for the night, with Gemma taking a bed in the spare room at Harry’s insistence, Louis was struggling to keep his eyes open. He didn’t even bother putting his clothes in the linen bin, just throwing them on the floor before he collapsed on the mattress, groaning.

“Why am I so bloody tired?” he moaned, rolling onto his side when he smelt the coconut bump lotion Harry had started to smear all over his skin every night. “Did you text Liam and ask him about tomorrow?”

Harry nodded, recapping the tube before he swung his legs into bed, sliding under the sheets. “Yep. He’s fine with me having tomorrow off. He’s just sending over some editorials for me to approve over emails, but I thought Gem and I would go out- I mean, you can come too-”

“Love, it’s fine,” Louis said, his eyes drifting shut. “I’ve got a few CVs to get sent out anyway, I need to really start looking for a job. I can drop you and Gemma in town though, if you want.”

“That’d be good, thanks Lou,” Harry said, leaning in for a kiss. “I can’t believe she’s here though… I’m so happy. Louis?”

“Sorry,” Louis muttered, almost asleep by now. “So tired… love you.”

“Love you more,” Harry whispered back, tucking Louis in before he kissed him again. “Get some sleep. Nighty night, babe.”

*****

Harry didn’t end up going to work for either of the days left that week. Instead, he worked a few hours from home before he joined Louis and Gemma upstairs in the nursery, where the two were busy making a start. Louis had sorted everything out into piles to throw, and things to put into storage, and with Gemma’s help, they’d loaded the car and taken it to the dump, throwing away anything he didn’t want. 

Where there were once shelves of old vinyl records and CDs now stood an empty room with an old sheet thrown on the floor. The pair had blasted music as they’d painted the walls in a soft yellow colour, determined it would suit either a boy or a girl, with Anne taking Harry out for the day so he wouldn’t be around the paint fumes.

Louis had enjoyed the time alone with his sister-in-law, listening to her advice for job hunting, and even allowed her to read over what he’d put together so far, letting her tweak it until it read like something a forty year old professional could be proud of. He was amazed how Gemma used her words to make him sound even better, and by the time they were done, Louis had a headache but he immediately attached it to three job applications that he was interested in, praying at least one would offer him an interview.

“You’ll get something, stop fretting,” Harry had muttered, kissing Louis gently when Gemma left the room to get them some drinks. “You’ll find the perfect job. I feel it in my water.” He rubbed his belly in circles then, making Louis laugh. “What? It’s an actual thing, you know.”

“I do,” Louis agreed, stooping to kiss the bump. “At this point, I just want a job, you know? I need to provide for you and the baby, it isn’t fair this is all on you at the moment. My redundancy money isn’t going to last forever.”

Gemma walked in then, balancing three drinks in her hand so Louis hopped to his feet, helping her out. She smiled her thanks and settled at the patio table. They were making the most of the unusually warm weather and had gone into the garden. “You know…”

“What?” Harry asked, straight to the point as always.

“If you need any… financial help, I can-”

“No. Thank you but absolutely not,” Louis said, cutting the offer off straight away. “I’m not taking handouts, no offence Gem, but I can’t do that. I’ll go and work in Tesco if I have to, but I’ll provide for my husband and my child myself. Something will come my way.”

“Well, the offer’s there if you need it,” Gemma shrugged, and Harry reached over, taking her hand. “I mean it. Don’t be too proud. We’re family. That’s my niece or nephew Hazza’s cooking.”

“I know. It’s a lovely gesture, thank you, sis,” Harry said, sipping his lemonade. “But Lou will get a job. I know it. He’s amazing and he needs to realise his worth. Someone will see it, they will.”

“Okay, fine. But you’re not turning this away…” she hopped up then and dashed off into the house, returning with a rather large cardboard box in her hands. “Don’t even say anything, Louis. This was my choice.”

Harry was beaming at the idea of a present and he started ripping into the box, gasping when he saw the contents. “Lou! Oh my god, Lou, look!” He held up a packet of babygro’s covered in little lilac ducks, with matching hats and scratch mitts, and even Louis had to coo at the tiny items. “They’re so tiny… Gemma…”

Louis just about saw Harry’s eyes full of tears before he rushed into the arms of his sister, holding her tightly, his bump squished between them. Louis took the chance to have a rummage through the parcel, seeing a few new sets of sheets for the baby, a few blankets, even a little baby bath, room thermometer and a ‘Daddy-to-be’ toiletries set for Harry. Louis knew it would have all cost a lot of money, and he was more appreciative than he could ever say.

Harry finally released his sister and turned back to the baby clothes, holding up things as he admired them. Louis went to Gemma and dragged her into a hug, squeezing her tightly.

“I hope I’m not overstepping, I just-”

“ _ Thank you _ ,” he whispered fiercely, meaning every word. He swallowed down the lump in his throat as he pulled away, grateful Gemma ignored the way his eyes were shining with unshed tears before he could turn around, swiftly swiping them away on the sleeve of his t-shirt. “Baby, show me some of your favourites,” he said, standing by Harry’s side as his husband eagerly held a few things up, chattering away about them. Family was one thing Louis was always grateful for.

*****

Gemma was leaving the following day, so Harry decided of course he had to throw the biggest family barbecue this side of Manchester. Louis had tried to protest, saying that at nearly twenty eight weeks pregnant, Harry needed to take it a bit easy, but his husband wouldn’t take no for an answer. He was sent to Tesco with a list as long as his arm, sure even all of their families put together wouldn’t be able to eat everything Harry apparently needed. Still, he didn’t argue and returned home with a boot full of food, grateful when Gemma appeared to ferry everything into the kitchen, where Harry was already preparing everything.

“Anything I can do?” Louis asked, putting the cans into the fridge, careful to avoid the foil covered plates already stacked up.

“Uh, yeah, you can clean the barbie up, we haven’t used it for a while so it might be a bit old.”

“What about me?” Gemma piped up, a bottle of beer in her hand. “Put me to work, Harold.”

“You can… oh! You can get some of the old patio furniture out of the shed. We should have enough for the adults at least. We could maybe put out picnic blankets for the kids?”

Louis nodded at the suggestion, already heading out of the back door to do as he was told. Harry was right - the barbecue did need a clean so Louis got to work, scrubbing it down while Gemma set up the furniture, only calling for Louis’ help when she couldn’t lift out a couple of chairs. They chatted as they worked, Gemma plopping down on a lounger when she’d finished, until Harry called her back inside, asking for help with the bowls of salad he wanted to prepare.

A few hours later, the Tomlinson home was full to the brim of people, and Louis and Harry were in their elements. Harry was playing host, giving everyone drinks and being the social butterfly he usually was, and Louis was stood at the barbecue with Niall and Liam, the three drinking and chatting as the kids screamed and ran around the garden.

“Uncle Lou! Come and play footie!” Thomas called, but Louis just pouted, shaking his head.

“Later, bud. Uncle Haz has got me on barbecue duty, but when we’re done, I’ll play.”

“You promise?”

Louis put his thumbs up, turning back to Niall and Liam. “Did you both see Gem?”

“Yeah, she looks great,” Liam said, pulling a face at Jasmine as she toddled by, clutching Sophia’s thumb as they walked over to where Lottie was sitting with Roisin. “Invited me and Soph to the book launch. I’ll have to book Mum and Dad in for the kids now…”

Niall laughed, finishing off his bottle of beer. “God knows what me and Lottie are gonna do… Jay’s at the book launch, and my parents are in Ireland. Ah well, we’ll figure something out.”

“I don’t think Dais or Pheebs are going to the launch, maybe one of them will have the kiddos,” Louis suggested, jumping when a hand slipped under his shirt, pressing against his lower back. “Hello, lovely.”

“Hi, babe. Ready to start cooking?”

Louis nodded, pressing his palm to Harry’s belly. “I reckon so. You doing okay? Not too sore.”

“I’m fine,” Harry chuckled, resting his hand on top of Louis’. “Stop worrying.”

“Not gonna happen,” Louis said, pulling Harry into a kiss and ignoring the catcalls coming from Niall and Liam at their display of affection. “My husband and my baby are the two most important people in the world to me, so I’m always gonna worry. But you go off and sit down now, your Mum’s got the kitchen under control…”

“Your husband is right,” said Jay, tucking her arm into Harry’s and gently tugging him away. “Ellie needs a feed, I’m sure you can persuade Phoebe to give her up for a little bit.”

“Ooh, gimme the baby,” Harry laughed as they walked away as Louis finally turned his attention back to the barbecue. He used the tongs to start turning over the sausages as Niall worked on the other end, flipping burgers with a practised ease Louis wished he had.

“So, how’s the pregnancy going?” Niall asked, wafting the smoke out of his face. By now, Liam had run off when one of his twins had fallen off, screaming their little lungs out before he’d scooped them up and taken them inside to clean them up. “Harry bearing up alright?”

“Yeah, he’s good. He’s amazing, actually. He’s really turned a corner with everything, and he’s just so happy, you know? I had no idea how much he’d really love this, carrying our baby, and it’s just… it’s wonderful to see him finally really enjoying everything. The baby’s moving now and that’s just…”

“It’s wow, isn’t it?” Niall grinned. “Like, freaky at first, like an alien or something, but it makes you realise-”

“It’s real,” both men said in unison, laughing loudly and making the others in the garden look their way before turning back to their own conversations. 

“Yeah, totally. But that trip to Majorca was just what we needed. It was good for Harry to be away, to be around people who don’t know him. It was lovely to see him parading his bump around, soaking up the sun, swimming in the pool.” Louis lost himself in his memories for a moment, reliving the holiday before he looked over his shoulder, smiling at the sight of Harry bouncing baby Ellie on his knee, trying to make her laugh. “Look at him.”

“Give him a few months and that’ll be him and your kid,” Niall said softly, nudging Louis with his elbow. “You got any thoughts about boys or girls?”

“I know it’s a cliche but I really don’t care. I just want a healthy baby. We didn’t even think we’d ever have this chance, you know?” Louis’ voice got husky on his last few words, his words making him feel emotional. Sometimes, it just hit him this was really happening, they really were getting to do this together. “Fuck, man, I’m just so fucking happy.”

Niall pulled Louis into a quick hug, slapping his back a few times before he released him. “Go and get us a couple of beers, you soppy bastard,” the Irishman instructed, grabbing the tongs from his hand. “Go on.”

Louis just nodded and headed back to the house. He dropped a kiss to Harry and Ellie’s head before he got to the fridge, reaching down a couple more bottles. 

“Unky Lou?”

“Hello, bug,” Louis grinned down at Roisin, who was pink cheeked and sweaty as she looked up at her Uncle. “What can I do for you?”

“I’m really hot,” she moaned, trying to fan herself with her hands and failing miserably. “Don’t like it.”

“Come here,” Louis said, swinging her up and sitting her on the worktop next to the sink. “Your hair looks really cool, love.”

“Thanks! Mummy did it before we comed out, I wanted to look pretty like Unky Harry’s hair,” she said, closing her eyes as Louis placed the wet kitchen roll on her forehead, trying to help her cool down a little. “Your baby not here yet?”

Louis shook his head. “Nope. A few more months. They’re still all happy and growing in Uncle Harry’s belly. Did you see him yet?”

The little girl’s eyes lit up and she nodded enthusiastically, almost dropping the kitchen roll from her head. “Yeah! He let me kiss his belly and I said hi to the baby! And guess what?!”

Louis could guess what she was going to say but he scrunched up his face anyway, pretending to think on it. “Uh-”

Before he could even say a word, Roisin was cutting in, babbling excitedly. “The baby kicked me! I was touchin’ the belly with my hand and she kicked me so hard!”

“Oh wow, that’s so cool!” Louis said, giving her a little high-give. “Hey… you think the baby is a girl?”

“Mm hmm,” she nodded, smiling smugly like she knew something Louis didn’t. “I knowed it. A girl like me, and Jazzy.” Roisin was going through a phase of being obsessed with Liam’s daughter, so Louis kind of understood her hope their baby was going to be a girl as well. “Where’s Mummy?”

“Outside with Nanny,” Louis said, lifting her down and kissing her forehead before he let her run off outside, joining her family and friends. Louis walked out soon after and joined Niall, the pair announcing that food was up. Everyone sat at the tables Harry had set up and chatted easily as they prepared food firstly for the children, Jasmine sat in a highchair by Sophia’s side, the twins either side of Liam, and Louis ended up next to Thomas, Harry sat next to him with Ellie in his arms, the baby girl snoozing happily. “Want me to take her so you can eat?”

“Nah, I’m good,” Harry smiled, stealing a cherry tomato from Louis’ plate and popping it between his lips. “She’s such a good baby. You reckon ours will be like this?”

“Hopefully,” Louis shrugged, making up a hot dog for Harry. “I don’t even care if they’re not. All I’ve ever wanted is to be a daddy, and that means the good and the not-so-good parts of it. Oops, dropped her dummy…”

“Leave it out, she’s happy enough,” Harry said, opening his mouth so Louis could feed him a bite of his hot dog. “Mmm, so good…”

“Uncle Lou, I can’t open the ketchup…”

“I’ve got it, buddy,” Louis grinned, flipping open the lid and deciding to put Thomas’ sauce on for him, just in case. “Gemma, pass the onions, love!”

Chatter was at a high level as everyone tucked in to their food. Louis made sure his husband was well fed as Harry sat, Ellie happily nestled in the crook of his arm, just letting the atmosphere sink in. Gemma was opposite the pair, taking photos around the table, and Louis didn’t hesitate to scoot closer, sliding an arm around his husband as they grinned at Gemma’s phone, cooing over the photo in the end. 

Niall and Liam were the ones who got up to cook the next round of food, leaving Louis sat talking with their parents, Liam’s son Calvin on his lap now. Harry had given the boy a high five when he’d eagerly told them both how much he’d eaten, proudly rubbing his little pot belly over his t-shirt. It was a pretty perfect afternoon, with the sun beating down on them, happy family surrounding them both, and Louis felt pretty lucky in that moment.

“Chicken skewer, Tommo?” Niall asked, wafting the succulent meat and veggies under his nose. Louis nodded, but reached over and took a now awake Ellie from Harry’s arms, knowing he needed to eat properly. “Put one on my plate, would ya Haz?”

Talk at the table soon turned to baby names, and Harry and Louis tried to keep their cards close to their chests, not wanting to reveal too much just yet. Harry had ordered a name book from Amazon, which they spent nights in bed poring over, putting sticky notes where they found names that appealed to both of them, the list getting longer by the day. Louis had a few he really loved, but they were determined to settle on something they both really wanted. 

“Dolly if it’s a girl, and Roy for a boy,” Louis piped out, everyone going silent before Harry snorted and broke the silence, making everyone else burst into laughter around them. “What? I think they’re  _ great _ choices. Better than Harry’s, anyway…”

“Nothing wrong with Mildred or Rodney!” Harry piped up, struggling to hold back his laughter now, clutching his belly. “Oh god, I’m gonna wet myself…”

Harry pushed away from the table and waddled away as quickly as he could, leaving a space beside Louis which Calvin quickly climbed into, tucking into the bowl of crisps in front of him. Louis flicked his eyes up, getting the okay from Liam so he left the boy to it. He asked Gemma about her flight home tomorrow, promising to drop her at the airport early in the morning, knowing Harry had to be at work, much to his annoyance.

“Thanks, Lou, I appreciate it,” she grinned. “Mum, shall we…”

She and Anne shared a secret glance which immediately made Louis suspicious, moreso when they both rose from their chairs, Gemma and Lottie soon following them out of the garden.

“You’re up to something, I know it!” Louis called, but it was no use. They’d gone. He sighed and slumped back in his seat, pouting until Harry came back out, frowning when he saw the mardy look on Louis’ face. “Our mothers are up to something.”

“Like what?” Harry questioned, lowering himself into his seat. “You’re so paranoid.”

“No, he’s right,” Liam piped up, nodding towards the house where Anne and Jay were emerging, a rather large cardboard box between them. “Hey, let us...” he and Niall ran over, taking the box and setting it on the floor as Gemma and Lottie emerged with a few boxes in their arms as well. “Lou, Haz, come over here…”

Louis stood up first and helped Harry get up, the pair holding hands as they walked over. His eyes flitted between the gathered adults before they found Harry’s, staying there for a moment. “What did you all do?”

Anne cleared her throat and spoke first, arms linked with Jay as they addressed the couple. Louis could hear the children running around laughing in the garden behind them, Jasmine sleepy on Sophia’s hip so he focused on his mother-in-law, listening intently as she spoke.

“We know you told everyone you didn’t want a baby shower, and that’s fine. But we wanted to do something for the pair of you because we’re so-“ she coughed gently, her voice cracking with emotion, “because we’re so happy for the pair of you. Look at you, about to become parents. It’s a dream come true, and we wanted to help you out, get you a few things.”

“Mum, I told you-“

“And we chose not to listen,” Anne grinned, Jay nodded eagerly next to her. “If you don’t like it, we can exchange it for something else, but let us do this for you. It’s a parents right to help their kids with their first baby.”

“I… thank you,” Harry said, hurrying into Anne’s open arms. “Was this just you two, or…?”

“Everyone,” Anne announced as they pulled back. “We all pooled together to get something nice. We… we chose a pushchair and car seat for you. Lottie helped us out choosing some bottles, a warmer and steriliser, and Liam and Sophia recommended a changing unit for the nursery. We knew it was the only thing you hadn’t ordered…”

Louis looked down at the boxes, then his eyes settled on the car seat. It was a charcoal grey fabric, perfect for either a boy or a girl, and he suddenly felt overwhelmed looking down, realising in a few weeks he and Harry would be bringing their newborn baby home in it.

“You okay?” Harry whispered, lacing his fingers with Louis’. “It’s so kind, isn’t it? Doing this for us, I mean.”

“Yeah, it’s… yeah.” Louis stopped talking, sending his Mum and Anne a wobbly smile. “Thank you…”

Everyone gathered around them in a group hug then, careful not to squish Harry too much between them, but Louis had never felt surrounded by so much in his life. Eventually, they parted but Louis clung to Jay, fisting the blouse she was wearing as he kept her close, whisking he had the words to say what this meant to him. 

“You don’t need to thank me, darling,” she whispered, knowing her son almost better than he knew himself. “Just enjoy it, okay? We all wanted to do this. When I mentioned it to Lottie, she and Niall wanted to do it straight away, and Niall told Liam… you both mean so much to so many people.”

Louis just nodded, squeezing his eyes shut. When he finally opened them, he saw Harry over Anne’s shoulder, hugging her like Louis was Jay, but Harry was unashamed at letting the tears fall, no doubt blaming his pregnancy.

“Bloody hormones,” Harry sniffed as he pulled away, wiping his eyes with a tissue Lottie had passed over out of her handbag.

“Oh, no you don’t,” Louis laughed, hoisting a whining Jesse up onto his hip. “You’ve always cried at the drop of a hat! Don’t blame our poor child for that, Harold, when it’s all you!”

Everyone laughed as Harry just shrugged, knowing Louis was right. He kissed his husband gently and soon, Jay, Phoebe and Ellie made a move, the baby needing a bath before bedtime. Louis had strapped her up in her car seat and carried it out, putting it into the backseat of the car.

“We’ll pop round later in the week,” Louis said as he kissed Jay’s cheek, hugging her again quickly. “Let me know when you’re home!”

He waved them off and was soon joined outside by Liam trying to wrangle the twins, both of whom were protesting loudly that they weren’t tired despite the loud yawns they kept letting out. Liam looked a little frustrated so Louis knelt down and beckoned the boys over, promising them he’d take them out to play footie one day after school if they behaved. It did the trick, and soon both children were in their car seats, waving at Louis as they left, Jasmine sound asleep in her own seat in the middle.

“Lou, can I have a word?” Niall asked as Louis walked back into the garden, seeing his husband with his feet in Gemma’s lap, having his toenails painted a soft lilac colour. “Nothing to worry about, just… inside?”

Louis nodded and followed Niall inside, the pair collapsing on opposite ends of the large sofa, Niall still with the remainder of his beer in his hand. They sat quietly for a moment, Louis’ mind whirring a million miles a second as he tried to think what Niall could possibly want to talk to him in private about.

Niall shuffled forwards then, putting his beer on the table and clasping his hands in front of him. “Now, first of all, I want you to know I’m absolutely not doing this out of pity. I want to help our family, okay? I asked Lottie, and she said to ask you-“

“Niall, spit it out, mate,” Louis said, feeling nervous all of a sudden. “Come on.”

“Right,” Niall said, shuffling nervously in his chair. “So… one of the lads in the office, he handed in his notice last week. Wants to go travelling, apparently. He’s sold his flat, got rid of a load of shit. I think he’s going to Thailand first-“

“How lovely, but Niall, can you please fucking tell me what it is you wanted to tell me? I’m not sure I need this guys life story for that?”

Niall grimaced, chuckling slightly. “Sorry. Uh… so he’s leaving. And I wondered if you wanted his job?”

Louis blinked, feeling a bit stunned. It was the last thing he’d expected, if he was honest. Niall worked as an estate agent, running a fairly successful (and quite lucrative) business that catered for everyone from those looking for their first starter flat, to people moving into the area with more money than sense. 

“Um… wow. I… didn’t expect that. What would I, uh, do?” He rubbed the back of his neck, trying to decide what to say next.

“I mean, I wouldn’t send you out there alone at first, Lou. You could shadow me for a while, until you’re comfortable with everything. But you’ve got the gift of the gab. You’ll do great. If I didn’t think you’d be a good fit, I wouldn’t offer it, Lou. And I… I know it’s not your dream job. But it’s money, regular money, and I know you wanted something…”

“Thank you,” Louis hurried to say, not wanting Niall to think he was ungrateful in any way. “I just want to talk to Haz about it, see what he thinks? I reckon it’s a yes, to be honest, it’ll be fun to work with you-“

“Of course, I knew you’d want to do that. Zayn leaves in two weeks, so as long as you tell me before that, we’re cool. But if you find something else in the meantime, I won’t disown you.”

They both laughed and Louis pulled Niall into a hug just as Harry walked into the rub, wincing as he rubbed the underside of his bump. Louis shot up out of his seat, hurrying to Harry’s side in concern. “You alright, love? You sore?”

“Just been a long day,” Harry smiled back, pushing Louis’ worries aside a little. “Ni, Lottie told me to tell you to shift your arse. Roisin’s nearly asleep out there.”

“Crap, I’ll be in the dog house tonight,” Niall said, rolling his eyes as he made his way back outside, picking up his daughter. “Thanks for having us all over, Tomlinsons.”

“Anytime,” Louis grinned, kissing his niece and nephew goodbye. “We’ll have to have the monsters over for another sleepover before Harold pops. I’ll let you know about that thing, okay?” He could sense Harry sending him questioning looks from next to him but it wasn’t something he wanted to talk about on the driveway. “See you guys soon!”

Harry leaned his head on Louis’ shoulder as they waved Niall and his family off, only going back inside once the car had disappeared from sight. Louis looked out into the garden, grateful it seemed Anne and Gemma were quite happy in cleaning up for them.

“Love, can we chat?” Louis asked, guiding Harry into his favourite armchair and pulling over his footstool, lifting his swollen feet up onto it. “Ooh, nails are pretty. Gemma’s got a steadier hand than me.”

Harry pouted then, poking out his bottom lip. “Hey, no, I love when you do my nails for me. But what did you wanna talk about? You don’t want to give the presents back, do you? Louis, that’ll be so awkward, I don’t want-“

“No, love. I love the gifts. It’s about… work?” Louis paused, wondering how to word it before deciding to just say it. “Niall offered me a job. Working with him, someone’s leaving and he’s given me first dibs on the job.”

“Oh my god!” Harry pushed himself up and threw his arms around Louis’ neck, squeezing a little too tightly. “Lou! That’s amazing! What do you think?”

“I mean, it’s not exactly what I’ve always wanted to do, but it’s a job, right? Money, and security, which is what I need right now. I didn’t tell him that, obviously, but I hate that I'm in two minds about this. Like… he said it’s not for pity, but it feels like it, a little bit…”

Harry frowned, placing his hands on Louis’ cheeks, forcing him to look into his green eyes. “Louis, you know Niall wouldn’t do it out of pity. We’ve known that man long enough to know he wouldn’t do this for the wrong reasons. And I know it’s not your dream. But as you say… with this little one on the way soon, it’d be nice to have another income for a while, maybe while you look for something you really want to do…”

Louis nodded, loving how talking to his husband always helped him to order his thoughts. Harry always knew the right thing to say. “You’re right. I’ll tell him yes. You never know, I might be really good at it. Might find the next Grand Design or something!”

“That’s the spirit,” Harry said, surging forward and pressing their lips together roughly, Louis’ scruff grazing Harry’s smooth chin. “I will admit, I’ve missed seeing you all dressed up in a suit…”

Harry kissed him again then, the pair losing themselves in it before too long. Louis could feel his body start to respond as Harry leant back into the armchair, pulling Louis on top of him. Louis bore his weight on his elbows so he wasn’t crushing the bump, and he wriggled around, straddling Harry’s thigh as he kissed him deeply again.

“Haz, where do you want the- oh for god’s sake!” Gemma shrieked loudly enough to make the two men part, laughing quietly between each other. Harry wiped Louis’ lip with the pad of his thumb before he peered around at his sister. “The salad? Bin it or put it in the fridge?”

“Keep it, I’ll eat it tomorrow,” Harry said, clearly unembarrassed by his display of affection in front of his sister. “I’d say sorry but Mum always told me not to lie.” He flashed Gemma a wicked grin then. “If you don’t want more of a show, I suggest you go back to the garden, sis…”

All Louis heard was Gemma let out an exasperated sigh before the patio door slammed shut, leaving them alone again.

“Hopefully they’ll bugger off soon,” Harry purred against Louis’ lips, his eyes blown and clearly worked up. “Then you can take me to bed…”

“Now that I like the sound of,” Louis growled out, rutting down against Harry’s thigh. “Think I might go and evict them now…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More on Monday... getting close to the end.


	15. Harry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not many left now, eek! I can't believe it's already nearly over. Madness!
> 
> Enjoy this quite fluffy chapter :)
> 
> As always, thanks so much for the comments and the support, it means a lot! xx

“No, just… oh god, Louis…”

Harry arched his back as Louis moved his fingers gently, taking care of Harry just as well as he always did. He was tingling from head to toe, and the rumpled sheets underneath him shifted under his body with each of his movements. It was barely sunrise, and Harry couldn’t help but think Louis looked positively ethereal as he shifted himself between Harry’s thighs.

“You ready, baby?” He asked, stroking his palm along Harry’s inner thigh where he knew Harry was incredibly sensitive, especially at the moment. “You just tell me, love, this is all about you-“

“Please,” Harry begged, clenching his fists in the sheets again as another wave of pleasure washed over him, making his toes curl. “Louis, please, need you inside…”

Louis nodded, and Harry went pliant as Louis moved his body round, helping him rest his pregnancy pillow under his bump, supporting him. It had been something Louis had come home with at the weekend, determined that Harry was going to sleep well, and it had been a godsend. Neither of them had realised how useful it would be during sex until now, either, but right now, Harry had never been more grateful for a £30 lump of foam.

“You tell me if it’s too much, or you need to stop, okay?” Louis checked in, making Harry shudder as he ran his hand over the curve of Harry’s waist. Harry preened under the attention and looked back over his shoulder, smiling up at his husband. “Haz? You with me, darlin’?”

“Sure am,” Harry nodded, not entirely sure he meant it. There was something about being woken up with Louis’ hands on his body, bringing him to pleasure while Harry came to his senses. “Always want you… ahhhh…”

Harry let his eyes close as Louis started pushing into him, gently cradling his leg with his strong arm. Harry had figured that being on his side would be best now he was so pregnant, he couldn’t actually see his toes or his dick anymore. Louis had made him feel beautiful as he’d opened him up, sucking love bites into his thighs, and right now, Harry was almost in a state of bliss.

“Remember eighteen years ago?” Louis murmured as he rocked into Harry, their sweaty skin sliding together when their bodies met. Harry locked his eyes on Louis as they moved as one, Harry’s hand now on the back of Louis’ neck, holding him close. “When I made you my husband… promised myself to you for the rest of our lives…”

“Fuck yes…” Harry replied, pushing back slightly into Louis’ thrusts. “Loved marrying you… being yours…”

“Yes, baby,” Louis said, bringing Harry’s left hand to his lips and kissing his wedding ring. “Married you in front of everyone… told the world you’re mine…”

“Ah, so close-“ Harry stuttered out, his body on fire everywhere. He could feel Louis’ hand grip his own as he moved inside him, his belly tightening as Harry felt his orgasm start to appear, pleasure shooting all over him. “Louis, need you-“

“You got me, love,” Louis reassured Harry, moving his hand from within Harry’s to cup his belly, pulling him gently back into him, Louis now buried as deep as he could go. “My beautiful husband… all full of my baby. The baby I put in you…”

Harry just whined, loving when Louis started to talk like this. It turned him on so much when Louis laid claim to him during sex, and talking about getting pregnant was one sure fire way to get Harry riled up, especially at the moment.

“You like that, hmm? Like strutting around with this big belly-“ he punctuated his words with quicker thrusts, their bodies bouncing together now, “showing everyone I knocked you up? Fuck, think you’re so sexy like this, Haz, so fucking gorgeous-“

“I’m gonna come-“ Harry half cried out, scrunching his eyes shut as it all started to become too much. Louis was pressing against his prostate as he thrusted deeper, and when Louis’ fingers found his over-sensitive nipples, Harry practically screamed, almost overcome with pleasure. “Oh god- Louis, I- I can’t-“

“Oh, you can, baby,” Louis whispered into Harry’s ear, driving his hips back and forth, his rhythm becoming sloppy now. “Gonna make a mess of yourself for me… want to see how beautiful you are. Come on, darling.”

“Fuck, I- Lou- LOUIS!”

Harry came, and he could feel his hot come splatter over his own belly, Louis’ hand teasing his balls to make him come harder. He could barely utter a word as he felt Louis thrust roughly a few times before he came inside him, filling Harry with warmth. Harry protested when he became a little sore but Louis just stilled his hips, keeping himself inside Harry.

“Happy Anniversary, beautiful,” Louis said softly, kissing Harry’s neck. They stayed cuddled up, catching their breath before finally, Louis pulled out. Harry just stayed where he was as Louis left the bed, disappearing to the bathroom and returning with a flannel, quickly cleaning them up. “You alright, Harry?”

“Mmmmm,” Harry hummed, unsure he could string a sentence together. Everything felt so nice to him right now, and he just shuffled back as Louis curled up behind him, the big spoon as usual. They laid there for a while until Harry came back to his senses, gently turning over and pressing his large tummy against Louis’, the pair smiling as the baby started wriggling around. “They’re awake.”

“They are,” Louis grinned, his hands trying to chase the movement before they finally went still again. “Soooo can I give you your pressie now?”

Harry’s eyes lit up at that. Louis had always been amazing at giving presents, and despite what people thought, he was a real romantic and Harry had never received a present he hadn’t adored. “Ooh, please,” he said, letting Louis help him sit up before he got up, still naked as he darted across the room, rummaging in a bag in the bottom of their wardrobe. “Sneaky.”

“You’re too nosy,” Louis chuckled, coming back to the bed with a little gift bag and a large pink envelope. “Seriously. Can you believe it’s been eighteen years today? Feels like yesterday sometimes. I remember waking up at Mum’s, going downstairs…”

Harry smiled. He’d heard this story so many times, usually on their anniversary but he never tired of it. They loved reliving their special moments together, and he had a feeling later on the wedding photo album would make an appearance, along with listening to the Louis Armstrong vinyl they’d danced to the night they’d gone home as husbands for the first time.

“She asked me why I wasn’t nervous,” Louis said, reaching for Harry’s hand, lacing their fingers together. “I just told her I’d never been more sure of anything in my life. You were my certainty. My future. I didn’t know much else back then, but I knew you were it for me.”

“And now look at us,” Harry cut in, his eyes a little wet by now. “Eighteen years older, lots of grey hair, ups and downs… and this.” He pressed Louis’ palm against his belly, smiling softly up at him. “We got the whole dream, Lou. This will be the last anniversary where it’s just the two of us. Shit! Wow, that sounds so strange. Next year, there’ll be an actual baby in this house.”

“Our little Tomlinson.”

“Yup,” Harry smiled, turning to reach into his bedside drawer. He picked up the blue envelope and turned back to Louis, giving him a shy smile. “I love you.”

They kissed softly before they parted and exchanged presents, putting things into each other’s laps. They opened their cards first, as they’d always done, and Harry wasn’t at all ashamed of how a few tears fell at Louis’ emotional words. He surged into Louis’ arms and they hugged for a moment before Harry pulled away, his lower back twinging.

“You okay?” Louis asked, brow furrowed in concern. Harry just nodded, shifting himself slightly on the mattress to stop the ache. “Okay, who first?”

“Uh… you,” Harry said, handing Louis the small giftbag in his lap. Louis took it and opened it eagerly, pulling out pieces of shredded tissue until they were littering the bed. His eyes flitted up to meet Harry’s when he revealed a navy box, retrieving it and holding it tightly.

“Harry…”

“Just open it,” Harry encouraged, his tummy fluttering with anticipation as it always did whenever he gave someone a gift. “I hope you like it…”

He stopped talking as Louis opened the box, revealing the cufflinks Harry had walked around town to find, delighted to finally find what he wanted in a small jewellery store tucked away in a side street.

“I thought they’d be good for when you go for interviews,” Harry hedged, watching as Louis lifted them out, holding them in his palm. 

“I love them,” Louis grinned, marvelling at the silver items in his palm, putting the L and T together for a moment. “I’m glad you’ve got faith in me, that I’ll get interviews somewhere…”

“You will. You’re too brilliant not to. Just a shame I can’t see them on you right now…”

His eyes raked up and down Louis’ bare torso, the pair smiling gently at each other for a moment. Louis eventually put the cufflinks back in their box and reached just behind him, turning back to Harry with a smile.

“Now it’s your turn.” Louis handed over the small silver gift bag and Harry smiled, carefully untying the ribbon holding the sides together. He peered inside to see a small black box at the bottom, reaching in and bringing it out. “I really hope you like it.”

“I already know I will.”

Harry carefully cracked open the box and gasped when he saw what was inside. Sat on a velvet cushion was a silver ring, a small diamond inlaid into the band. He picked it up with shaking fingers and went to slide it onto his middle finger, but Louis stopped him, gently holding his wrist.

“Look inside.”

Harry looked at his husband quizzically but did as he asked, tilting the ring so he could see. The light wasn’t great, so Harry grabbed his phone, flicking on the torch to light it up.

“Oh, Lou…”

Inside the band were two engraved dates. One was their wedding date, one etched on Harry’s mind forever, one of the best days of his life so far. The other…

“You know what that is?” Louis asked, his voice barely a whisper as he moved closer, his knee pressed against Harry’s now. “That other date?”

“I… I think so,” Harry said, biting his bottom lip nervously. He didn’t want to get it wrong so stayed quiet, hoping to hear Louis confirm what he thought.

“They’re the two best days of my life. The first is our wedding, when I got to tell the world I loved you. The other one… is when I found out we were going to be parents. When you told me I was going to be a daddy.”

There were tears in Louis’ eyes now, and Harry just nodded, feeling more emotional than normal. He didn’t even bother to blame it on the baby, he knew it was just him falling a little bit more in love with his husband every single day. 

“Let me,” Louis said, taking the ring from Harry’s hand. He held his right hand gently and slid the ring over his knuckle, pushing it into place. It looked beautiful against Harry’s skin, still lightly tanned from their holiday a few weeks ago. “It looks stunning. I knew it would.”

“Thank you. I love you so much.”

They kissed again, and Harry had never felt more glad for their anniversary landing on a Sunday. It meant they could spend the day at home together, preferably in bed as much as possible. Harry didn’t intend to wear many clothes at all, feeling much more comfortable without anything around his belly, and he had a feeling Louis wouldn’t complain at all.

*****

Harry moaned as he came in the front door, his feet screaming in pain. It felt like they’d swollen up to balloons during the afternoon hours at work, and Harry wasn’t ashamed to admit to a quick cry at his desk after a meeting with a chef that had had him on his feet for almost two hours. Liam had found him crying and had run off, returning with a washing up bowl full of warm water, insisting Harry rest and soak his feet for a while.

Now, though, that had well and truly worn off and he was in agony again. He hobbled through to the sitting room and sat on the sofa, peeling off his socks and dumping them on the floor. He could hear music upstairs, and as much as he wanted to go and investigate what his husband was up to, Harry just couldn’t bring himself to get up again.

Instead, he took his phone out of his pocket and sent Louis a text to say he was home. Just a few seconds later, the music stopped and Harry smiled to himself as he heard footsteps on the stairs, his husband soon appearing around the corner.

“Hello, beautiful,” Louis grinned, leaning over to kiss Harry’s lips, his head now resting on the arm of the sofa. “And hello, my gorgeous baby.” Harry laughed as Louis lifted his shirt and pressed a kiss to the centre of his belly. “How are we both doing?”

Harry just groaned, throwing his forearm across his eyes. “Your offspring is good. But I, on the other hand, feel awful.”

“Oh, baby, what’s wrong?” Louis asked, hurrying to rush round, kneeling in front of his husband. “You feel that bad? Should we call the doctor?”

Harry quickly shook his head, not needing it to get that far. “Nah, it's nothing serious. I’m just so fat and bloated and huge-”

“Hey-” Louis cut in, almost scowling at Harry. “You are  _ not _ fat, that’s my beautiful baby in there. You are doing an amazing job of growing them, and I won’t let you say anything else about yourself right now.”

“Fine. I’m very pregnant, and everything hurts. My feet ache, my shoes don’t fit, my back hurts and my nipples feel like they’ve been rubbing against sandpaper all day even though this damn shirt is silk and meant to be soft!”

Louis almost snorted at that last admission but Harry had no shame at the moment. He quickly undid the small pearl button of his pink shirt and exposed his chest to the air, almost crying in relief. 

“It’s not funny, Lou. I’m so fucking sensitive… work is a fucking nightmare. I can’t even go on paternity leave for another six weeks, and I don’t know if I can last that long-” Harry felt like he was about to cry so he stopped talking, biting roughly on his bottom lip to stop the tears. “I’m a fucking wreck.”

“My poor husband,” Louis said, sympathising with him. “You can start your leave earlier, love, you know that. Liam said if you really can’t cope he can take over so let’s play it by ear, okay? And as for everything else… shall I run you a bath? Let you soak and relax for a bit?”

Harry just nodded, well aware he was allowing himself to be almost babied right now, but he didn’t care. The idea of an evening of being pampered sounded like heaven right now. “Yes, please.”

“Good. You stay there and I’ll give you a shout when it’s ready. I love you. I don’t tell you enough but I’m so proud of you for all this… I know it can’t be easy but you’re making it look so easy.”

Harry scoffed, shaking his head. “Yeah, look at the state of me, Lou.” He indicated his vastly swollen stomach with his hand, his poor red feet and sore nipples with his hand. “I’m not sure there’s anything easy about this.”

“Well, I think you’re amazing,” Louis grinned, hopping to his feet with an agility Harry missed himself being able to do. “Sit tight, won’t be long.”

They kissed quickly before Louis left the room, leaving Harry lounging on the sofa, his feet now propped up on a cushion. When Harry’s phone pinged, he snatched it up, grinning when he saw it was Gemma. He snapped a quick photo of his bump and sent it to her along with a few emojis, whinging about how much he was aching, and he just received a photo of the latest copy of Gemma’s book balanced on her flat tummy, making him laugh.

“Love, bath’s ready,” Louis shouted down the stairs, and Harry sighed, pushing him up to a seated position. “You need a hand up the stairs?”

“I’m not a cripple,” Harry hollered back, shuffling slowly towards the stairs. It felt like an effort to lift one foot in front of the other, and by the time he reached the top of the stairs, Louis was there smiling softly at him. “I’m not a toddler who’s just learnt how to walk, Louis.”

“You’re carrying precious cargo, allow me to be concerned!” Louis said, taking Harry’s hand and guiding him to the bedroom. Harry sat on the edge of the bed and just sat still as Louis helped him out of his shirt, throwing it in the direction of the linen bin in the corner of the room. When Harry went to stand up, Louis pushed on his shoulder, keeping him sat down. “Stay there. Let me, okay?”

Harry nodded and laid back, raising his hips as Louis tugged his trousers down. He wasn’t at all embarrassed by the soft pink paternity underwear he was wearing, and he shivered slightly as Louis’ fingers brushed his hips, hooking the underwear down his thighs, eventually over his ankles and off entirely.

“Up you get, beautiful,” Louis said, holding his hands out and pulling Harry to his feet. “You’re so gorgeous like this, you know.”

“Wish I felt it,” Harry mumbled as he let Louis lead him into the bathroom. There were little vanilla scented tealights dotted around the room instead of the harsh overhead lighting, and he’d used one of Harry’s bath bombs, the water a soft shade of lilac in the bathtub. “Louis…”

“Hush, you deserve it,” Louis said, hovering as Harry climbed as gracefully as he could into the bath. “Now, do you want a drink? Tea? Smoothie?”

“Uh, a tea would be good. One of my peppermint ones, I think. I’ll sort out dinner-”

“Nope. Your mum dropped a casserole round earlier. I’ll go and pop it in the oven, we can have that after your bath.”

“Don’t deserve you,” Harry mumbled, shutting his eyes. The lavender scent of the bath bomb was already relaxing him, and the way the flames danced around on the candles was almost hypnotising. 

“You have a soak, I’m going to make our bed and pop the dinner in. I’ll be back soon, okay?”

“‘Kay, don’t leave me too long, I’ll get all wrinkly,” Harry said, making Louis chuckle. The room got a little dimmer when Louis left, pulling the door closed behind him. It was utterly peaceful and for the first time that day, Harry felt carefree and relaxed. He wiggled his toes slightly in the water, wishing he’d painted them, but he was pretty sure Louis wouldn’t mind doing them at the weekend for him. 

After a little while of just being submerged under the water, relieving the constant dull ache in his lower back, Harry sat up and reached for the bar of soap. He washed himself, the soft floral scent settling on his skin. Just as he was about to wash his hair, the door creaked open and Louis poked his head around, a tea towel draped over his shoulder.

“Nice and relaxed?” he questioned, coming in when Harry beckoned him closer. Harry rested his cheek on Louis’ hand when his husband knelt at the side of the bath. “Look at those pink cheeks.”

Harry smiled and kissed Louis quickly, blinking up at him. “Wash my hair for me?”

Louis nodded, and he reached for the shower attachment, turning the taps on and making sure the water was an okay temperature before Harry tilted his head back, sighing in pleasure as the water beat down on his head. Louis massaged the shampoo into his head, using his fingertips to rub at his scalp, almost making Harry purr in happiness. It felt amazing, and he just stayed in the same position as Louis rinsed it off, careful not to get it in Harry’s eyes.

When the conditioner was done and Harry was completely clean from head to toe, he stood up and clutched Louis’ hands as he stepped out of the bath. His large bump had been playing havoc with his centre of gravity, and he was grateful for Louis’ support until both feet were on the bathmat, shivering until Louis wrapped a fluffy towel around him.

“Need a hand getting dressed?”

“I’m alright,” Harry said, twisting his towel up into a turban on top of his head. “Meet you downstairs?”

“Uh, I have something to show you,” Louis said, looking a bit shy all of a sudden. “Get dressed then come out.”

Harry nodded and slipped into their bedroom, not bothering to close the door behind him. He smiled when he saw Louis had laid out some clean pyjamas and fresh underwear for him, and he quickly towel dried off, slipping into the clothes. He roughly dried his hair, deciding to let it dry naturally since it went more curly (Louis’ favourite), and when he walked out, Louis was texting, leaned up against the wall.

“Lou?”

Louis looked up from his phone, eyes raking over Harry, lingering on his bump. “Have they moved a lot today?” he asked, walking over and putting a hand on Harry’s belly. “Haven’t felt them yet.”

“Yeah. earlier on. Probably having a nap, and they’ll wake up just as I go to sleep,” he laughed. He knew he was right, though. Usually, around two in the morning, the baby decided it was time for some gymnastics and woke Harry up, usually by shoving a foot under his rib cage, causing a jolt of pain to shoot through Harry until he moved, shifting the baby’s position inside him. “What did you want to show me?”

Louis reached down, taking Harry’s hand and pulling him in the direction of the baby’s room. “Well, you know I’ve been busy doing the nursery and… I just wanted to show you.”

Harry’s belly flipped with excitement. Louis had been working on it with Gemma when they’d arrived back, and after Gemma had left to return to Scotland, Louis had politely requested that Harry not go inside, and he’d honoured his husband’s wishes. He was usually in there whenever Harry returned from work, and Harry had been desperate for ages to sneak a peek but hadn’t, knowing Louis would’ve been devastated if he had.

“Oh my god… yes! I want to see, Lou.”

Louis pushed down the handle of the door and it swung open, making Harry gasp. There used to be plain cream walls and a dull carpet, but now, everything was transformed. The walls were painted in the soft yellow colour they’d chosen together with Gemma in the DIY shop, but the carpet had clearly been cleaned, with a gorgeous dark grey rug now in the middle.

Harry gasped as he stepped inside, taking it all in. The furniture that had been sitting in boxes was built, and Harry teared up as he looked over at the cot. There was a blanket draped over one end that Harry knew had belonged to Louis when he was a baby, and Harry walked over, resting his hands on it. The mattress was inside and there were a few packaged sheets on top, just waiting to be washed and put on.

“This makes everything feel scarily real,” Harry admitted, running his hands along the white wood. He turned, looking over to the small moses basket sat in its stand, rocking it back and forth gently. “I can’t believe we’re going to have someone small enough to fit in here.”

He felt Louis’ hands slip around his waist, holding him close for a moment as he let his eyes wander around the room. On the wall where the changing table was Louis had hung up some Disney prints that Harry had been eyeing up online, in a set of four. They were so cute, and Harry couldn’t help but smile at them, loving how the canvases were a splash of colour. There was a polka dot changing mat atop the table alongside a packet of nappies, wipes and Sudocrem. It seemed Louis had really thought of everything, and Harry loved everything about the room. The best bit, though…

“Turn around,” Louis whispered, guiding Harry until he faced the back wall. Harry was stunned when he took in the artwork Louis had done against the wall. It was stunning, silhouettes of some of the most famous children's characters around. It was Tinkerbell that really caught Harry’s eye, and he walked over, running his fingers across the paint strokes. It was almost magical in its beauty, and Harry felt so grateful for the effort Louis had put into everything. The other thing he loved was the rocking chair in the corner of the room, a cushion against the back. Already, Harry could imagine himself rocking their baby to sleep there, feeding them until they were full. “Do you like it?”

“I  _ love _ it,” Harry emphasised, eyes flitting everywhere, trying to take it all in. “Honestly, it’s amazing. I had no idea you could draw like this…”

“Stencils,” Louis confessed, laughing as he opened one of the drawers and revealed them. “You know I can’t draw for shit, and I’m not about to subject our baby’s eyes to my awful art. So, yeah… went on eBay and got some stencils, even I can manage that…”

Harry just shrugged, smiling to himself. “I don’t care. I love it. You’ve put so much effort in…”

“Well, you’ve put a lot of effort into growing our little one, so the least I could do was get their room ready. I didn’t put all the clothes away yet, I figured you’d want to wash them or something first.”

As usual, Louis knew him well enough, and he was right. Harry had bought a little box of Fairy washing powder and was already excited to wash their baby’s first clothes. He’d even chosen the ‘going home’ outfit too, and it was all sat on top of a bag in the wardrobe, waiting until Harry had some free time to get them all cleaned and ready. 

“And the rocking chair… wow, I can’t believe you-”

“I didn’t,” Louis said, interrupting Harry who turned in surprise, wondering who would've got them something so generous. “That was your sister. Gem had it sent down earlier this week, wanted to get us something she knew you’d love…”

“Oh god.” Harry covered his face with his hands, a little overwhelmed at everyone’s generosity. “I… it’s amazing. Look at it.”

“Take a seat,” Louis said, and Harry didn’t hesitate. He walked over and lowered himself onto the chair and he relaxed back, the cushion nicely supporting his lower back. His feet sank into the rug and he pushed himself back and forth, resting his elbows on the arms. “You look pretty happy there.”

“I am,” Harry grinned, taking in the atmosphere of the room again. After a few minutes, Harry stood up and kissed his husband again, linking his hands behind Louis’ head, his belly pressed between them. “I love you.”

“Love you more, baby.”

They left the nursery, pulling the door closed behind them to keep it nice and clean, and Harry went downstairs behind Louis, the pair chatting about their day. Harry talked for ages about the latest editorials he and Liam had worked on, as well as the ones that he had planned for when he was on paternity leave. Liam could of course manage things on his own, but they were already planning for the Valentine’s issue, and Harry had ideas he just couldn’t let go to waste.

“Sit yourself down,” Louis said, darting around the kitchen as Harry groaned, lowering himself into the chair at the table. “I popped some rice on as well, figured it’d fill us up a bit. Oh, the hospital called to confirm your appointment for Friday afternoon with the consultant, I said it was still fine.”

“Yep,” Harry nodded, practically drooling as Louis pulled the dish out of the oven. He hadn’t realised how hungry he was until right now. “Did they say if they were going to scan me?”

“Yep, they did. It’ll be nice to see them again, actually. Here you go, sweetie.”

Harry smiled up at his husband as he laid down a plate in front of him. It looked ridiculously tempting, and Harry partly wished his mum would bring them food like this all day. It would certainly save him a lot of bother. They tucked in, Louis drinking a beer while Harry sipped on his water, not feeling like much else. Life, he thought to himself, was pretty much perfect.

*****

“Everything looks fine,” the sonographer said, pushing into the side of Harry’s belly as they took a few more measurements. “Your water is fine, and the baby is in a good position. You’re…” they turned to look at Harry’s notes for a brief second, checking their information, “thirty one plus four?”

“Mm hmm,” Harry confirmed, gritting his teeth. He’d had the urge to pee since they’d arrived, and the lady pressing the ultrasound wand into his stomach wasn’t easing that up at all. He looked over as Louis squeezed his hand to get his attention, looking concerned. “Need a wee,” Harry whispered, curling his toes in his shoes.

“Sorry, I won’t keep you much longer,” the technician said, moving the wand onto the main swell of Harry’s belly again. “Time to let you take a peek…”

She swivelled the screen round and Harry just stared at it, stunned. He knew the baby was real. He knew that. He could feel it move around every single day, and the fact he seemed to get bigger every minute told him Louis’ baby was definitely in his tummy. But right now, seeing them wriggling on the screen was utterly amazing. 

“Fucking hell-” Louis cussed, making Harry slap his hand. “Shit, sorry, but- wow. Look at them, they’re like… they’re there! Oh, I can see their little hand… hi baby!”

Harry watched as Louis waved at the screen, looking beyond happy. The technician talked them through a few things, and happily declared the baby was measuring perfectly for their dates. She reminded them she could see the sex but they quickly denied the opportunity, still insisting on the baby being a surprise.

“I’ll get you a couple of pictures,” the lady said, switching off the screen. She handed Louis a handful of paper towels, and Harry laid there as Louis cleared his stomach off, pulling up his stretchy jeans over his bump. “I’m all done so I’ll hand over to the consultant, won’t keep you a tick-”

“Can I use the loo?” Harry asked, dancing around as he got to his feet, the urge to go beyond desperate now. 

“Across the corridor-”

He didn’t even wait for her to answer before he darted out of the room, excusing himself to the person he almost bumped into as he hurried into the bathroom, slamming open a cubicle. He wriggled his jeans down and sat on the seat (he was too worried about making a mess in public to stand up), feeling relieved as he finally emptied his bladder.

He washed his hands and smiled at himself in the mirror, loving how pregnant he looked. There was no mistaking it for anything else now, and he turned to the side, a palm on his belly as he grinned at himself.

“Love you, little one,” he whispered before he went back out, entering the room where Louis was sat, texting on his phone. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah, I… yeah,” Louis nodded, but Harry frowned, knowing something wasn’t quite right. “After, okay? Let’s focus on this.”

He reached and took Harry’s hand, the pair turning as the door behind them opened. An older woman sat behind them at the desk and smiled, putting a file of notes down in front of her, pushing her glasses up onto the top of her head.

“Hello there, I’m Dr. Jensen, you must be Harry and Louis Tomlinson?”

“That’s us,” Harry said with a smile, tracing his thumb back and forth over the back of Louis’ hand. 

“Lovely to meet you both. I’m one of the consultants in the department, and we just wanted to meet with you today to discuss your birthing options, and to check in, see how your pregnancy is going.”

“Oh, I see. Uh, I’m alright. A bit achy and swollen, but everyone assures me it’s quite normal...”

“It is,” the doctor confirmed, smiling lightly. “I’ve done this three times myself so trust me when I say I sympathise with you. Is there anything you’re overly concerned about with your pregnancy? Any pain that is a little more than what you would expect as normal?”

Louis cleared his throat, speaking up. “His back is pretty bad. I mean, it wasn’t great before we got pregnant, but now he’s pretty sore all the time. He had a bath the other day and that helped…”

“I was going to suggest heat,” Dr. Jensen said, scribbling a few things down. “Head pads can work well on your sciatic area if that’s your bother, or gentle massage as well can do wonders.”

Harry nodded, determined to try both things later on. The doctor asked a few more slightly embarrassing questions but Harry took them in his stride, answering honestly, not at all bothered by talking about such things in front of his husband. There wasn’t much that embarrassed either of them, anymore.

“Well, that all sounds fantastic. Now, let’s get to something else… the birth. It’s mainly due to your age that we’d want to talk you through your options, and to come up with a plan that ensures the safety of both you and your baby, Harry. Have you and your husband spoken about this at all?”

Harry glanced to Louis, the pair nodding.

“Yes, we have,” Louis said. Harry was keen to let Louis participate in this as well, since he was going to be at the birth every step of the way. “My mum used to be a midwife, so she’s told us about the various things.”

“Okay, good to know. From a medical professional’s point of view, I’m looking for the method of birth which would ensure a safe delivery of the baby, and the least risky option for your health, Harry.”

Harry nodded, suddenly feeling nervous. He’d set his heart on a natural birth, and Jay said it was definitely something he should talk to his medical team about. He’s felt confident about that beforehand, but now it was here, Harry was filled with self doubt. He just wanted everything to go smoothly, and for him to get what he wanted.

“Considering all of the factors, I’d like to advise you to go for a caesarean section birth. We can book a date in and have you come in and prepare, have everything calm and that would ensure a hopefully smooth and safe delivery. How do you feel about that?”

Harry glanced to Louis, who just nodded, totally understanding what Harry was about to do.

“Honestly? I don’t like it. I really don’t want surgery unless I have to. I… I never thought I’d get pregnant, so this is all so special. I want to do this right, and for me, that means a chance to give birth naturally. I want to experience that, to bring my baby into the world by myself.”

The doctor was quiet for a moment. She sat and flicked through the notes for a moment before closing them and sighing. Her hands were clasped together on top of the table, and Harry felt like everything had taken a serious turn. He started nervously tapping his toes on the floor, wishing she’d say something.

“It is something we could consider, although my preference would be a caesarean, as I said.” She then began to run Harry through the risks of natural birth, and Harry felt worse and worse as she went on, and clearly, Louis saw that.

“We hear that, we do. But can you now compare the risks for the caesarean with us? Just so we have all the information?”

The doctor nodded and continued speaking, outlining the risks of the surgery as well. Now Harry had heard both sides of the story, he felt more certain in his choice to try and give birth to their child naturally,.

“I really do want to try for a natural birth. I’m not opposed to the caesarean if it becomes necessary, and I will consent to that, and so will Louis. But I’d really like to try giving birth. It’s something I feel I need to do. For me. I know that’s selfish but-”

“No, it isn’t,” Louis cut in, turning slightly in his chair. “I know how much you want this, Harry. Back when we were in our twenties and trying to get pregnant, you used to talk about it all the time, how it would be to give birth. I want you to be able to have that memory, to do what you want to do. As you say, we can accept intervention if we have to but we really do want this.”

Dr. Jensen nodded, writing something again before she spoke. “Okay, that’s fine. You will be closely monitored throughout your labour, and we’ll only intervene if we feel the life of yourself or your baby is at risk. I can recommend some birthing classes for you both to attend, just to give you an idea of what to expect and how to prepare for childbirth.”

“That would be good,” Harry nodded. They finished up the meeting, thanking the doctor for her help. She told Harry he wouldn’t need any further scans in his pregnancy, but that if he was concerned at all, to call his midwife team and they’d see him. They left the hospital hand in hand, photos tucked inside Louis’ pocket to share with their family.

Louis was quiet on the drive home and Harry felt a little contemplative too, just staring out of the window on the journey. The baby was quiet in his belly, obviously resting after their little performance on screen for their daddies earlier on. It started to drizzle on the way home, and Harry looked over at Louis to see him frowning slightly, drumming his fingers on the wheel as he waited for the traffic light to change.

They arrived home and Louis didn’t speak. Instead, he just took Harry’s hand and guided him over to the sofa, sitting next to him.

“You’re making me nervous,” Harry said through a chuckle, fiddling with his wedding ring for a moment. “Louis, what’s wrong?”

“Not wrong, exactly,” Louis replied, still not meeting Harry’s eyes. “But… there’s something I haven’t told you.”

Harry felt his heart drop before Louis had even said anymore. He knew Louis wouldn’t cheat. That wasn’t what his husband was like, but right now, Harry’s imagination was running wild with what Louis could be about to drop on him.

“Louis, just tell me. Whatever it is, we can deal with it together.”

Louis nodded, pressing his lips together before he let out a long, slow breath of air, raking his fingers through his hair. He was blatantly nervous, and Harry felt a little sick, anticipating the worst.

“I… I went for an interview last week. I didn’t tell you because… I didn’t want you to feel sorry for me if I didn’t get anywhere with it, or for you to be ashamed of me or whatever. No, don’t say anything, let me talk?” Louis asked, and Harry nodded, keeping his words inside for the moment. “I applied a while back, just after I lost my job. I didn’t expect to hear anything back, but they offered me an interview…”

“What job?”

“Uh… business manager for the Orchard Academy of Schools,” Louis answered, a slight blush dusting his cheeks. “I’ve always wanted to work in education, but I didn’t go to Uni and… yeah, that kind of got away from me. Then I saw this, and… I thought I could be good at it?”

“Louis…” Harry was almost wriggling in his seat, needing Louis to say more, to know what was happening. He knew how important this would have been to his husband, and while he was a little hurt Louis had kept it to himself, he understood.

“So they interviewed me. They were really nice, asked lots of questions and showed me around one of their schools. It was lovely, Haz. So bright and colourful, and the kids were all so friendly, saying hi to me and showing me their books.” Harry smiled fondly at that, willing Louis to reveal something else. “Anyway, so… they just sent me an email. And I… I got the job?”

“You got the job?!”

“I got the job,” Louis confirmed, beaming now. “I got the fucking job, Haz!”

“Oh baby, I’m so proud of you!” Harry said, reaching out and grabbing Louis into a tight hug, trying to show him his pride and love through the gesture. “Louis, that’s amazing!”

“It is but… Niall? He’s set up the job for me, and-”

“Hey, don’t worry about that. He’ll be thrilled for you, you know he will. I’m sure there’s lots of people out there who want to be an apprentice with someone like Niall. Your heart was never in that. But it’s in this, and Ni will know that.”

“You don’t think he’ll hate me?”

Harry scoffed, shaking his head violently. “Have you even met Niall?! He’s the most laid back dude in the world. He’ll just be happy, love, you know that. And I’m fucking over the moon for you. And proud. So is this little one.” Harry grabbed Louis’ hand and pressed it to his belly, cupping his cheek with his other hand. “You need to take this job. It’s a career, love. It’s an opportunity to do something good, to make good choices for a school. You can do amazing things with this chance, Lou. You know you can.”

“You really believe in me, huh?”

“I really do. Now, off you go. Call them, accept it now. Then we’re going to celebrate.”

“Oh yeah?” Louis smirked over to his husband, pulling him to his feet. “How’s that?”

“However you want,” Harry said, making his voice as sultry as he could. “You get to choose.”

“Fuckkkkkk,” Louis moaned, watching as Harry swayed his hips as best as he could as he left the room, throwing Louis a wink over his shoulder. “Hi, this is Louis Tomlinson calling for Mr Coles? Uh, yes, regarding the job offer he made me this morning…”

Harry smiled. Things were going well, finally. They deserved something good. Everything was falling into place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Thursday... baby time soon, I promise!


	16. Louis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Getting close to the end now, I can't believe it! I really hope you enjoy this last one before the fun REALLY begins...
> 
> Thanks as always for the support. I can't tell you how much reading your comments makes me smile :) xx

“Happy birthday to you!” 

Louis grinned around at his family as everyone finished singing, and laughed as the birthday boy Thomas jumped up and down in his seat, waiting for the okay to blow out his candles. 

“I wanna blow them out, Mummy!”

“Go on, love,” Lottie said, and Thomas did, the seven flames extinguishing in one long puff of breath. He jumped a little as everyone cheered but soon a wide smile crossed his face, giving his parents a gappy smile, his little cheeks red with excitement. “Let me go and cut the cake-”

“I wanna do it!”

“No way, champ,” Niall said, holding Thomas back as Lottie lifted the cake, taking it off to the kitchen. Louis watched as Harry shuffled along behind her, no doubt determined to help. “How about you go and play with Jesse and Calvin in your room? Show them your new garage?”

“Yes! Jess, Cal, come and see! You can come too, Roisin…”

Louis’ heart melted as he watched Thomas take his sister’s hand, leading her upstairs, the twins hot on their heels. Silence fell over the room, and Louis looked around the room at his loved ones, enjoying everyone being together for the first time in a while. Phoebe was bouncing a wide awake Ellie on her knee, and Jay was sitting with Daisy, chatting quietly.

“How was your first week?” Niall asked, startling Louis out of his daydreams. “Sorry, didn’t mean to make you jump.”

“S’alright, in a world of my own,” Louis chuckled, crossing his legs at the ankles. “It was great, Ni. The people in the office are great, they’ve really accepted me. I’ve got a PA who, honestly, I couldn’t do it without her. She’s amazing, and she makes it all so much easier.”

“Ooh, has Harold got competition?” Niall teased, knowing nothing could be further from the truth. “Nah, only teasin’. Seriously, lad, I’m really glad for ya. It’s lovely to see you all fired up about something, you know?”

“I wish he believed in himself as much as we all do,” Harry said, surprising Louis as he came up behind him, kissing him on the top of the head. “He looked so smart on Monday, in his best suit with the cufflinks I got him for our anniversary…”

Louis waved off Harry’s compliments, blushing slightly. “Shut it,” Louis teased, trying and failing to press a hand against Harry’s mouth. “I think this could be a pretty good gig, though. I can see myself happy here, you know? And they’re so cool about Harry and the baby… already booked me my paternity leave.”

“Wow, that’s so cool,” Liam said, Jasmine sound asleep against his chest. “Not many companies these days are so understanding.”

“The executive team are all parents, so they got it. I explained our story, how we didn’t really expect this but now it’s all happening and yeah, they were really great. I’m taking Harry in next week, they wanted to meet him.”

“That’s why you’re not in on Thursday afternoon!” Liam burst out, pointing accusingly at Harry who just laughed and nodded. “Could’ve bloody told me that instead of being all sodding cryptic.”

“It’s more fun to tease you, Li,” Harry said, getting into the seat Louis had just vacated for him. “Oh, hello, little love…”

“Someone wanted to see her Uncle Harry…” Phoebe said, leaving Ellie in Harry’s lap, snatching a slice of cake from her sister’s hands, ignoring Lottie’s rude comment. “Lou, did you get-”

“Yes, I picked up the playmat you wanted,” Louis said, cowering away as Phoebe planted a sloppy kiss on his cheek. “Gross, sis. Harry, do I get a look in with my niece?”

“Nope,” Harry sang, pulling faces at the little girl. She was smiling all the time now, and it never failed to draw beaming great smiles out of Harry whenever he got one from Ellie. Right now, she was reaching for his necklace, making him laugh as he tried to dodge her grabby hands. She soon noticed his belly and just stared at it, making the adults around the table laugh. “That’s your cousin in there.”

“Yeah, she totally gets it,” Louis deadpanned, making Harry poke his tongue out. “Oh, I’ll hand them out, Lots.”

“Thanks, big bro,” she grinned, returning to the kitchen to fetch more cake slices. “Actually, could you let Ni do that and fetch the kids down for me? If they eat now, the sugar will wear off before bedtime.”

Louis jokingly saluted to his sister and took the stairs two at a time, pausing as he hovered outside Thomas’ bedroom door. All four children were on their tummies on the floor, playing with matchbox cars and whizzing them around Thomas’ garage that Louis and Harry had given him. The boy was footie mad and car mad, and the video Niall had sent of Thomas unwrapping it that morning had brought tears to Louis’ eyes. 

“Uncle Lou! You come to play?!” Thomas asked when he saw Louis stood in the doorway, eyes wide with excitement. “You can have my bestest car!”

“Oh, maybe later, bud. Mum’s cut the cake, and she’s told me to get you lot downstairs to have a little bit now.” Louis had barely finished speaking before the twins ran off down the stairs, swiftly followed by Thomas. Roisin, though, was a little slower, rubbing her eyes in a tired manner. “Alright, Ro?”

“‘M’tired, Uncle Loulou,” she mumbled, her big blue eyes staring up at him.

“Want me to carry you?”

She just nodded and Louis lifted her easily onto his hip, heading downstairs together. His free hand gripped the banister and by the time he appeared in the kitchen, Roisin was resting her little head on Louis’ shoulder, her thumb in her mouth as she looked around sleepily.

Louis sat down with her on his lap, his arms holding her close. He caught Harry’s eye across the table, and they both smiled at each other, somehow realising their was future together. Roisin refused a piece of cake, but Lottie came over, whispering to her daughter she’d put it away for the next day, and within just a few minutes, the little girl was sound asleep on Louis’ lap.

“You want me to take her, Lou?” Niall asked, but Louis just shook his head. He was quite comfortable where he was, and there was something very comforting about having a little warm body curling into his. 

He just sat back and watched as everyone ate their cake, with Harry promising to wrap Louis’ up and take it home for him for when he got the midnight munchies. It was when the other children started to get grumpy with sleep that everyone started to leave, promising they’d get together soon.

Louis carried Roisin up to bed, and Lottie made quick work of changing her daughter into her nightie and letting her uncles kiss her goodnight before they went down the hall to Thomas’ room. The little boy was already changed and under his covers, smiling up at the pair.

“Had a good birthday, champ?” Harry asked, and Thomas nodded, letting out a loud yawn. “Well, it certainly tired you out!”

“Yeah. But I loved my cake and my presents, I’m really lucky,” Thomas said, his voice all croaky and tired sounding. “Will you come watch my footie match next weekend?”

“If Uncle Harry is up to it, love,” Louis said, knowing standing around on a chilly football pitch wasn’t the ideal thing for his heavily pregnant husband. “Maybe if Uncle Harry can’t make it, I’ll come along with Mummy and Daddy. You sleep well, alright?”

Both men kissed him goodnight and left, Harry holding a bag of leftovers Lottie had insisted they take. When they got home, they went straight up to bed. Louis was almost struggling with the transition of working full time again, tired by about eight o’clock each night. With that and Harry’s pregnancy, they both felt like they were acting like a pair of pensioners rather than two men in the prime of their lives.

It felt like Louis had just fallen asleep when the loud trill of their home phone woke him from his sleep. He cursed quietly, reaching to grab the handset before it could wake Harry up too, and he groaned, seeing the clock read half six in the morning. To add insult to injury, it was a Saturday, and Louis had been rather excited for a lazy morning in bed with his husband, the croissants they’d bought and maybe a bit of birthday cake.

“‘Lo?” he rasped out, his eyes still closed. They opened quickly though when he heard the voice on the other end.

“Lou? It’s Mum… we… oh god… Phoebe and I, we’re sick-”

She cut off and Louis heard a retch, making him wince slightly. He sat up, trying to wake up slightly, worried something was really wrong.

“Mum? Are you alright?”

“No… we got takeaway on the way home from Lottie’s last night, and it must’ve been bad. Phoebe’s been up all night, and I’ve started-” Another pause for another retch, and Louis had to pull his phone away from his ear. The noise was making his stomach turn. “Can you and Harry take Ellie? Don’t want her around this-”

“Sure, no problem,” Louis said, already getting out of bed. He managed to find some joggers and a jumper in the darkness, leaving his pregnant husband to sleep while he dressed in the hall, running a hand through his greasy hair. “I’ll be there soon.”

“Thanks love- oh god, got to go-”

There were three beeps as the call cut off, which Louis was grateful for. He slipped out of the house as quietly as he could and drove across town to Jay’s house, pulling up on the kerb outside. The house was lit up and Louis just let himself in, hearing Ellie crying upstairs.

“It’s me, I’ve got her!” Louis yelled out. Both the bathroom door and the downstairs loo doors were shut, so Louis knew they were otherwise engaged as he picked up his niece, holding her against his chest, trying to soothe her slightly. “Sssh, Uncle Lou’s here, love. I’ve got you. Let’s get your bum changed, hmm?”

Her babygro was a bit damp so Louis stripped her off before wiping her down and getting her into a fresh nappy and vest, popping her in some leggings and a little jumper he’d found. She’d calmed down a little, sucking frantically on her dummy which told Louis she was pretty hungry.

“I’m sorry for this,” came a voice from the doorway and Louis whirled around, smiling at his sister. She looked awful; pale and her hair was hanging in curtains. He felt bad for her but stayed away, not wanting to get sick himself. “Her bag is downstairs-”

“Pheebs, it’s fine, honestly. She’s in good hands. We can keep her all weekend if we need to. I think I’ll feed her when I get her home…”

“Okay, I really- oh, bye-” she covered her mouth with the back of her hand, and Ellie jumped as she slammed the door shut. 

“Let’s get you home, see Uncle Harry, hmm?” Louis muttered as he carried her out of the room and downstairs. Her little coat was hanging on the coat rack and he wrestled her into it. She was getting grumpy now, hungry and probably missing her mum, so Louis quickly got her into the car seat Jay must have left out, strapping her in. He just called out a goodbye, grabbing the thankfully loaded baby bag by the door and shutting it behind him.

The car ride home must have lulled Ellie back to sleep because when Louis pulled into his driveway, she was sound asleep in her seat. Louis smiled and carried her in, only waking her when he unstrapped her and lifted her back into his arms. He headed back up to bed and smiled when he saw Harry was still asleep.

He flicked on the bedside lamp and put Ellie on the bed next to Harry. He laughed quietly as her little hands pressed into Harry’s bump and finally, Harry started to stir as Ellie slapped her hand down gently.

“What the- hello, little love,” Harry grinned, scooping her up and onto his chest. “And what are you doing here waking me up, you little pickle?”

“Mum and Pheebs are sick, they called and asked us to take her. I didn’t want to wake you, you looked so cute fast asleep.”

“Oh, poor Mummy,” Harry pouted, letting Ellie playing with his necklace for a minute. “Did she have her brekkie yet?”

“Nope. You alright to stay with her a minute while I make it? We can do her bottle first then take her down for her porridge.”

“We’re all good, aren’t we, Elly Belly?” Harry asked, tickling the baby under her arms, making her laugh. Louis smiled at the sight, leaning down to kiss Harry’s bump. “They’re awake too, Lou, don’t worry. Grab her bottle then I’ll have a wee.”

Louis nodded and went downstairs. It seemed Jay or Phoebe had thought ahead as there was already a bottle of water in there, just waiting for the powder to be added. Louis plugged in the warmer and stuck the bottle in there, making Harry a tea at the same time. A few minutes later, he wandered upstairs with both drinks, nudging the bedroom door open with his foot.

“Here we go, my favourite pair,” he grinned, putting Ellie’s bottle down and passing Harry his tea. “You want to feed her or want me to?”

“I will, just let me go to the loo,” Harry said, hoisting himself up from the bed. It looked like an effort, and Louis knew he was probably suffering with his back again, not that Harry would admit to it. He watched his heavily pregnant husband waddle out of the room, leaving him along with Ellie who was trying to stuff Harry’s pillow case into her mouth.

“Oh no, love, yuck,” he said, taking it out of her hand. He popped her onto his lap and smiled with the realisation they’d be doing this soon enough with their own baby. This felt like a bit of a practise run, and as much as Louis hated the fact his mum and sister were sick, he was quite grateful to have some time alone with Ellie.

“All done!” Harry sang as he walked into the room, and a smile bloomed on Ellie’s face as she saw him again. “Oh, look at that big smile just for Uncle Harry! Gimme the baby, Lou, she wants her favourite Uncle!”

*****

A few hours later, things were still going smoothly for the Tomlinsons and Ellie. They were all loaded back into the car, as Harry had decided on an impromptu shopping trip, which Louis was convinced was all about showing Ellie off, not that he minded. He’d texted his mum who’d told him Phoebe was finally asleep, while she was just trying to keep some water down.

“Uh, no you don’t,” Louis said as Harry went to lift the pushchair out of the car. “You’re thirty two weeks pregnant, love. You need to slow down a bit.”

“Fine,” Harry huffed, pulling his bag out of the car and bringing it over his body. “But I’m pushing.”

“Alright,” Louis laughed, lifting Ellie out and into the seat, making sure she was strapped in. “Pass me the blanket, Haz.”

They tucked her in and headed into the shopping centre, Harry proudly pushing Ellie in front of him. She was still facing them, and he was pulling faces all the way while Louis walked by his side full of pride for his gorgeous husband and niece. It was still early enough that the shopping centre wasn’t heaving yet, and they wandered around together, talking quietly.

“Ooh Mamas and Papas. Let’s pop in,” Harry said, veering off to the right where he’d seen the shop. There were a couple of assistants milling around, and Harry expertly wove the pram around, Louis just trailing behind him, taking everything in. Harry stopped by a display of blankets, touching a colourful striped one. “Oh, look at this, Lou…”

“It’s beautiful,” Louis agreed, touching the soft wool. “We could get a couple of bits if you wanted? We don’t have that much, and it’ll be nice for the baby to have some things that aren’t hand-me-downs…”

“Sure?” Harry asked, always thinking about money. “Yeah, alright. I like the lilacs. What do you think?”

“Whichever you like, sweetheart,” Louis said, standing behind Harry and resting his palms on either side of Harry’s belly. The baby seemed to be sound asleep again, so Louis peeked over Harry’s shoulder at Ellie, poking his tongue out and making her laugh. “Hello, Els.”

Harry picked up a rolled up blanket and put it on Ellie’s legs. Her little hands immediately started to bash on it as Harry pushed her over to the clothes, the two men cooing over some tiny vests. Louis spotted a ‘I love my Daddies’ pale grey vest, holding it up to show Harry who just nodded. Louis grabbed one in newborn size and added it to Ellie’s pushchair, happy to be out and shopping for their baby.

When they were done browsing, they headed over to the tills to pay. Harry passed the pushchair to Louis as he approached the desk, setting down the few things they’d chosen.

“Did you need any other help today?” the girl behind the desk asked, and Harry shook his head as Louis pushed Ellie back and forth, trying to keep her quiet.

“No, we’re all good, thanks,” Harry said as she scanned the items, placing them in a grey paper bag along with a couple of brochures. Harry reached for his wallet as she read out the total, pushing the payment machine across the desk for him.

“I hope you don’t mind me asking, but when you are due?” she asked, gesturing to Harry’s bump, and Louis smiled, resting his hand on the small of Harry’s back.

“Uh, about eight weeks,” Harry said, putting in his pin number. “Not long, thank goodness. The longest thirty two weeks ever.”

“I bet… you didn’t wait long between the two…”

“She’s our niece,” Louis chuckled as Harry put his wallet away and grabbed the bag, stowing it under the pushchair. “This is our first baby. Bit of a blessing, actually.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, congratulations!” she said, handing the receipt over. “Have a good day.”

“You too,” Louis smiled as he walked out, still pushing Ellie who was tugging on one of her straps now, looking a bit bored. “I wonder how many other people think I’ve knocked you up just after having this one?”

“Oh god, I didn’t think of that,” Harry laughed, wandering into Boots and grabbing a basket. “Mum told me I should get the last bits for the hospital bag… do you mind?”

“Course not. I’ll push, you just get what you need.”

Harry pulled a list out of his bag and headed for the baby department. Louis meandered behind as Harry threw several packs of paternity knickers, towels, creams and other things into the basket, some of which he wasn’t entirely sure what it was for if he was honest. Still, Harry looked certain and that was the main thing. A few mini toiletries made their way in as well for Harry’s hospital stay, and Louis tried not to wince at the amount when they paid, just grateful he had a job to support them all again now.

“I think we deserve a coffee,” Harry declared after his little shopping spree, and Louis could see his husband was in pain with his back so he agreed, leading Harry over to Costa. He went in and ordered their drinks as well as asking for a mug of hot water to warm Ellie’s bottle up, taking it all outside on a tray. They expertly worked together to pull Ellie out of her chair and Louis fed her as Harry relaxed for a bit, watching the world go by beside them.

They didn’t get home until mid-afternoon, stopping off at the park with Ellie for a while. It was chilly but the sun was shining, and they had a lot of fun together. Louis was the one who ended up on the slide with Ellie, holding her tightly as they whizzed down, Harry encouraging them all the way. Harry managed to sit Ellie on his lap on the swing and rocked them back and forth until he felt a bit sick, needing to get off.

By the time Harry was cooking dinner, Ellie was conked out on her playmat on the living room floor, and Louis was setting the table, dragging over the spare high chair they had at their place from various visits over the years. Harry had made a sweet potato curry, sectioning off a little portion for Ellie without so much spice, but it was perfect for her when it was all mashed up.

“Open wide!” Louis sang, pretending to fly the spoon of food towards Ellie, who took it eagerly, mushing it between her gums. “Good girl, so good for Uncle Lou and Uncle Haz!”

“You look very at home,” Harry said with a soft smile, pushing his own food around his plate. “I can’t wait to see what you’ll be like with our little one.” Louis watched Harry’s hand drift down, subconsciously rubbing around his bump for a minute. 

“It’s just… it’s nice, you know,” Louis started, pushing another spoon of food into Ellie’s mouth, scraping the excess back onto the spoon. “It’s nice seeing what this is going to be like. I mean, this is a novelty, having her here like this, and I’m sure she’s not this well behaved all the time but… I can’t wait for us to be a family. It’s been a long time coming, you know.”

Harry just nodded, taking Louis’ hand across the table. 

“I’m not so scared anymore,” Harry said quietly as Ellie bashed her hands on the table, making them both smile at her. Louis fed her another spoon of food and turned back to his husband, trying to give them both his attention. “Actually, Lou…”

Ellie coughed slightly, and Louis quickly turned, patting her on the back gently. Harry passed over her cup and she took a few thirsty sips of water before smiling widely at them both again, clearly okay.

“Sorry, love… can we chat in a while when she’s asleep?”

“Definitely,” Harry nodded, resting his foot on top of Louis’ under the table.

Later didn’t come until after nine o’clock when finally, Ellie had screamed herself to sleep. She’d been fine during a bath, Louis knelt by the tub as Harry sat on the closed toilet seat, watching her splash around. She took her bottle from Harry but by the time they laid her down in the travel cot in the spare room (Harry hadn’t wanted to use the cot, claiming it was only for their baby), she started crying and didn’t stop.

Louis felt exhausted and collapsed onto the bed, realising this was a little more like how they’d feel when their baby arrived. Harry pottered in and stripped himself of his clothes, lowering himself slowly to the bed. He laid there in his paternity underwear, his bump looking bigger than ever right now.

“Did you wanna chat now?” Louis asked, determined that Harry would know he hadn’t forgotten their lost conversation of earlier. “I’m sorry we had to stop earlier…”

“No, it’s fine, Ellie came first. Did you phone your mum, by the way?”

“Yeah, I called her while you were getting Ellie ready for bed. They’re doing better, they haven’t been sick in a while. Told them to rest, that Ellie was good with us for tonight, and as much of tomorrow as they need.”

Harry kissed Louis quickly, tucking himself in under the covers. Louis glanced across to his husband, smiling at the sight of him. The quilt was tented thanks to this large belly, and Harry looked stunning with his hair fanned out over the pillow, a sleepy look on his face.

“So, let’s talk.”

“Okay. I, uh… this isn’t a spur of the moment thing, you know. I just need you to know I’ve really thought about this, and this is what I really want, I’m not just-”

“Harry, love,” Louis cut in, taking his husband’s hand for a minute to calm him down. “You’re rambling, which means you’re nervous. You know we can talk about anything, right? Is this about the pregnancy, or the birth, or-”

“Um, not really, or maybe all of it?” Harry hedged, looking nervous now as he pulled the quilt up, covering himself up to his chin. “I really think that when our baby is here… I want to take a step back from work.”

Louis was surprised. Work had been Harry’s life for so long, and his career was his greatest achievement, although Louis was pretty sure getting pregnant and carrying a baby had pushed that down to second place now. He stayed quiet, giving Harry time to gather his thoughts and tell Louis everything he wanted.

“I love my job. I worked so hard to get to where I am, but this…” he gestured down his baby bump for a minute, “has made me rethink everything. My priorities.”

“I get that,” Louis agreed, having felt the same way lately, especially since he’d gone through the hell of being made redundant. “So… how has this pushed you into taking a step back?”

“We’re getting older, Lou. We’re already probably going to be the oldest parents in the playground, and I just… I don’t want to miss anything. I want to be there for them. I want to raise them, and for them to know they were so wanted, and loved. I want to stay at home and raise our baby, Lou.”

Louis paused for a second, allowing Harry’s words to sink in. He must have thought for too long, though, as Harry started panicking, rambling again.

“I mean, only if it’s okay with you, I just think our baby would really benefit from having me at home with them all the time, I could-”

“Yes.”

“It would be really- what?”

“Yes, love. I said yes. I’d love you to be at home with them.”

“You- really? You’re really okay with this? I might do one or two days a week, I’m sure Mum and Robin would be happy to have them, I just… this is probably going to be our only child, Lou. I want to do it right, being a daddy, I mean.”

“I totally get it, sweetheart. You’re going to be an amazing stay at home Dad. And now I’ve got my job, we’ll definitely be okay financially. I think this is a great idea. I hope you didn’t think I’d be against this?”

“No, I actually didn’t. I was just… nervous to tell you, I suppose. Everything is so different, like, life’s taken a huge turn for us, but I want to embrace it. I’m thirty eight, I’ve worked non-stop since I was twenty one. I reckon this is the perfect time to slow down and enjoy my life, enjoy being a daddy.”

Louis sealed the deal with a kiss, and snuggled down, pulling Harry into his side. Harry rested his head on Louis’ chest, hugging him tightly. “I’m glad you want to do this. I love you, Haz.”

They both froze as Ellie whimpered through the baby monitor, but after a minute or so of funny noises, she settled herself back down and everything fell quiet again. 

“Think we’d better sleep while she is,” Louis muttered into the darkness, and Harry just nodded, pressing a kiss to Louis’ chest. “I love you, Harry.”

“Love you too. Always.”

“Love you too, little one,” Louis said, his hand resting on the side of Harry’s belly, connecting all three of them. “Sleep tight.”

*****

“I don’t wanna go in,” Harry whined, dragging his heels as Louis pulled open the door to the community centre. Louis just rolled his eyes and grabbed Harry’s hand, walking inside and down the corridor. He could hear a low hum of chatter just down the hallway but he paused before he opened the double doors, knowing he needed to give Harry a minute. “Louis, please-”

“No, love,” Louis said, his voice a little insistent. Sometimes, Harry just wouldn’t do the things that were good for him, and this antenatal class was one such thing he’d been dragging his heels about since they got the session confirmation at the end of the last week. “You’re thirty three weeks pregnant now. We need to know what to expect.”

“We know how to look after babies, Lou,” Harry protested, folding his arms across his chest. “I don’t need advice on how to change a nappy.”

“I agree, we know that,” Louis said, softening his voice to soothe his husband a little. Harry had woken up grumpy and Liam had text Louis halfway through the workday, asking what the hell was wrong with him since Harry had been stomping around the office most of the morning. Liam had practically pushed Harry out of the door when Louis had arrived to pick him up late afternoon, and Harry hadn’t cheered up since. “But we’ve never gone through childbirth.”

Harry wouldn’t meet Louis’ eyes and just nudged the carpet with the toe of his trainers, looking a bit like a stroppy, albeit pregnant, teeanger. 

“Fine. But you’re not leaving my side, right? I mean it, Louis, I don’t want to be alone in there-”

“I won’t. I promise I’ll stay with you the whole time. We don’t have to stay for the chit chat after, just the important stuff. And if you really hate it when you’ve done it, we’ll rethink the next one.”

Harry nodded and Louis quickly opened the door, dragging Harry inside before he could change his mind again. He looked up to see five or six other couples milling around, chatting amongst themselves. A woman in scrubs with a clipboard hurried over, smiling at the pair.

“You must be Harry and Louis!”

“Uh, yeah, we are,” Louis confirmed, a bit puzzled by how she knew that. “How did you…”

“You’re the last ones on my list for today. Come in, help yourselves to a drink and then join us in the circle in a moment.”

“Will do,” Louis said, Harry still tense and unsure by his side. For someone who had been running a magazine for a decade and meeting strangers most weeks of that, Harry could be very shy when he wanted to be. “See, not too many people here, love.”

“Let’s just sit down,” Harry muttered, and they walked over to the cushions on the floor, grateful it wasn’t going to be in uncomfortable chairs for the hour long session. The leading midwife, Jo, introduced herself and started to point around the circle, asking everyone to introduce themselves as well. Louis braced himself as the couple next to them began to speak.

“Hi, I’m Mandy and this is Jason, my husband. I’m twenty seven and Jason is twenty eight. I’m thirty four weeks pregnant with our second child, a boy. We already have a daughter, Katy, at home, she’s three. I had a water birth with Katy, and I’m hoping for the same this time around.”

It hadn’t slipped by Louis’ notice that all of the couples were much younger than Harry and himself, and all bar one of the other couples had other children at home. Still, Louis sat up a little straighter as all attention turned to them. Harry stayed quiet, so Louis started to speak.

“Hi everyone, lovely to meet you all. I’m Louis, and this is my husband Harry. He’s thirty three weeks pregnant with our little surprise. This is our first baby, we’re a little older than all of you. Harry’s thirty eight, and I’m forty. We’ve helped raise lots of babies in the family, but childbirth is a bit of an unknown for us.”

“That’s why you’re here, so we can prepare you with some tips and tricks for labour and birth, so you feel a little prepared. That was great to hear from everyone, thanks for being so candid with us. This is the first of two sessions we’ll be having together, and today’s will cover labour. I assume you’ve all discussed and chosen how you want to give birth?”

They all nodded and by a show of hands, everyone told Jo what they were planning. Louis was pleased to see Harry wasn’t the only one who wanted a natural birth, and they both sat still, intently listening as Jo began to deliver her presentation, passing around packs she’d made for the expectant parents to take home.

“Labour can be one of the most exhausting parts of pregnancy,” Jo said, a few of the parents in the room nodding. “Labour can last anything from a few hours to days, although the longer you proceed in established labour, the closer you’ll be monitored to see if any intervention is required. For first time parents, we like you to labour in our suite so we can keep an eye on you, but once we’re happy things are progressing, we’ll allow you to move around.”

Harry cleared his throat and raised his hand, surprising Louis for a moment. “Uh, my sister in law used a birthing ball with her youngest, is that something I’d be able to do?”

“Definitely,” Jo confirmed with a smile, and Louis squeezed Harry’s hand, feeling proud of him for speaking up. “A birthing ball helps support your weight while you labour, and sitting with your thighs spread on the ball helps your hips to open up, making way for the baby in the birth canal. You can also kneel behind your ball and rest your arms on it, and this allows your partner to be closer to you whilst you labour as well. I assume all of you dads are expecting to be there for the birth?”

Louis nodded emphatically. He couldn’t wait to experience labour and childbirth with Harry, and he felt emotional whenever he thought about watching Harry bring their child into the world. He’d already spoken to his mum and sisters about how he could best support Harry during labour, and had a notebook stuffed with things to pack and bring that would help.

“Excellent, pleased to hear that. Okay, so the early stage of labour is when you’re having contractions roughly every three to five minutes, and we’d expect them to last up to a minute. Your cervix will start to dilate, and we will check you internally along the way to see how you are progressing.”

“Sounds delightful,” Louis whispered into Harry’s ear, making his husband giggle.

“As your labour progresses, contractions become much more intense, and you’ll find the time between them shortening. Once you are checked and you’ve reached ten centimetres dilated, you’ll be in second stage labour, which is when you need to push. Of course, if you’re having a planned caesarean, you may not experience any part of labour, but it’s worth listening just in case.”

Louis squeezed Harry’s hand gently as he relaxed back against his chest. He could tell Harry was getting more comfortable, and tuned back in to Jo.

“Pushing your baby out is hard work, I’m not going to lie. Pushing can last anywhere from ten minutes to two hours, there’s no set time. It’s exhausting and it hurts, but trust me when I say that when your newborn is put on your chest, you’ll very quickly forget how much it hurts.”

She then spoke a little about episiotomies, making Louis wince a little at the mere idea of it, but he braved it, knowing it would be worse for poor Harry who might have to go through it.

Harry raised his hand again, Jo turning her attention to him. “Is there an ideal position for giving birth? I’m a bit nervous about it, and want to go in prepared…”

“That’s a really good question, Harry, and one with many answers,” Jo replied. “There’s of course different positions for labour or birth. Many of my women like to labour on all fours, it relieves pressure on the back. You can lean against a kitchen table if you’re at home, or the worktop. And in hospital, you can bend over the bed, or lay on your left side, it’s totally up to you.”

Part of Louis wished he was recording this so he wouldn’t forget, but he also knew he could talk to his mum about it later on as well.

“Birthing is again unique to each individual labouring person. Some people like to give birth traditionally, on their back with their feet in stirrups. Others prefer to squat, some are on all fours or leaning up over the back of the bed. We have water births which are usually birthed on all fours or sitting back on your bottom.”

“What about partners?” one of the men around the circle asked, and Louis was glad he’d asked.

“Great question. If we take a look at how Harry and Louis are sitting now, this can be a great position for labour and birth.”

Louis blushed a little as all the eyes in the room turned to them. Jo got up and wandered over, crouching next to them.

“Harry’s sitting comfortably between Louis’ legs, and is using his husband’s body to lean back on, taking a lot of the pressure off his own sense of balance, which is useful. Harry can also take Louis’ hands- yes, perfect, Louis- and squeeze to help brace through his pain as well during labour and birth. The position also gives Louis a good viewpoint if he were to want to watch his child enter the world.”

“I do,” Louis confirmed to Harry, kissing Harry’s cheek briefly. “As long as you’re okay with that.”

“I am.”

“If your partner is on all fours, you can massage their lower back and stand to the side, encouraging and providing verbal support, as well as drinks or gas and air when it’s needed. You’re a very important part of labour, daddies, and while you might find you get shouted at, or sworn at… it’ll all be forgotten when you become a family.”

She spoke a little more on labour and birth before she turned to the circle, asking if there were any questions. Louis raised his hand, waiting for his turn as Jo went around the circle, answering questions with practised ease until it was Louis’ go.

“Uh, the doctors have told us if Harry is struggling at any point, then he might have to have a caesarean, as we’re older parents. If that happens, will I be able to go into the theatre with him?”

“Certainly. You need to talk to the delivery team and make them aware you want that to happen. You’ll be told to change into scrubs for the sterile environment, and once Harry’s had a spinal and is ready for birth, you’ll be allowed to sit by his head and wait for your baby to be born. You’ll still be allowed to cut the cord as well.”

“Good to know, thanks.”

When Jo had finished, she invited them all to talk to each other, and Louis stood in front of Harry, holding his hands out. He gently hoisted Harry up to his feet and steadied him, checking he was okay before he stepped away.

“This was good. I’m glad you made me come here,” Harry said, tucking himself back into Louis’ side. “I’ll be honest… I didn't know most of this stuff, so it was good to hear it. We could read all the stuff she gave us later on…”

“Sounds good to me,” Louis agreed, leaning across to kiss Harry’s temple. “You want to stay or make a move?”

“Uh…” Harry’s eyes flitted around the room for a moment, as if that would help him make a decision either way. “They seem nice. Maybe we could stay for a cuppa? Then grab takeaway on the way home?”

Louis easily agreed, and reached down, lacing their hands together. They made tea in small polystyrene cups, and Harry found a burst of confidence as they wandered over to stand with the other couple who said they were expecting their first baby as well.

“Hiiii,” Harry drawled out, smiling shyly at the couple. “I’m Harry…”

Louis just stood next to his husband, an arm around his waist as he listened to Harry talk to Melissa about her pregnancy, the pair comparing belly sizes after a few minutes. Harry was openly laughing now and his cheeks were ever so slightly pink, and Louis was fairly certain he’d never been so in love with his husband before.

“He’s just going to be the best dad ever,” Harry said, breaking Louis out of his thoughts for a moment. “I feel really glad to have him by my side through all this.”

“Oh, love…” Louis said, feeling emotional. “That’s so sweet…” They kissed again briefly, and Louis smiled when he felt the baby kick against his stomach. “They’re awake again.”

“Yup, been doing gymnastics for the past hour,” Harry chuckled, rubbing his belly lovingly. “Actually, I’m a bit achey, mind if we go?”

They said their goodbyes and promised Jo they’d be there for the next session the following week before Louis guided Harry outside and into the car. They decided on pizza for tea, and swung by the pizza outlet, ordering two separate pizzas since Louis really wanted pepperoni, and Harry couldn’t tolerate it at the moment.

“I think we need to eat this in bed,” Louis said, putting the pizza boxes on the floor before he knelt in front of Harry, helping him take off his trainers. “Go and get in your comfies, I’ll grab us a drink and bring it up.”

“Don’t deserve you,” Harry muttered, grabbing the hem of Louis’ jumper and tugging him close. He wrapped his arms around Louis’ neck and rested his forehead against Louis’. “I love you so much. You’ve been amazing, you know.”

“I always am,” Louis said cheekily, cupping Harry’s bum as best he could around his bump. “Now, up you go. I’ll be there in a sec.” He patted Harry’s bum as his husband headed for the stairs, making him laugh. He gathered everything he needed and went back upstairs, smiling at the sight of Harry in tiny shorts and a long sleeved t shirt on top of the covers.

“Is this the pregnancy equivalent of Netflix and chill?” Harry asked as Louis walked into the bedroom, dumping the pizza boxes at the foot of the bed. “If so, I’m totally here for it. Oh my god, so good…”

Louis watched him devour a slice of pizza, entirely unbothered of his appetite. “You enjoy, darling.”

“Oh, I plan to,” Harry grinned, picking up another slice. “I’m eating for two, you know!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up is... the one you've been waiting for! Coming MONDAY!


	17. Harry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Argh, it's here! Louis and Harry are going to become parents... please enjoy!
> 
> Let me know your thoughts on this chapter in the comments, and on the baby's name!
> 
> Enjoy xxx

“Are you still feeling rough?” Liam asked, looking up from his notes as Harry winced, trying desperately to get comfortable in his chair. “Harry, will you please go home?”

“No,” Harry insisted, shaking his head and quickly wishing he hadn’t when a wave of nausea rushed over him. “I’m fine. Just… I just need a minute. I’ve literally got eight days left at work, I can do it.”

“I’m sure you can but you don’t have to be superman,” Liam chided, putting his notepad down. “Do you want me to get Lou to get you?”

“Seriously, Liam, leave it,” Harry snapped as another wave of pain radiated across his back. “Let’s finish this later, okay?”

Liam seemed to understand because he nodded and left Harry alone, closing his office door behind him. The room felt small around Harry and he walked over to the window, throwing it open. He shivered as the wind blew in, but Harry took in a deep breath, letting the cool air fill his lungs before he exhaled slowly.

He felt guilty for being off with his best friend, but this was the second day of feeling this way, and Harry had had enough. He hadn’t slept through the night either, the baby pressing on his bladder causing him to get up three times for a wee while Louis slept blissfully through it. Even Harry’s pregnancy pillow wasn’t helping much. He was just so big and uncomfortable, and right now, Harry wanted the next five weeks to fly by because he wasn’t sure how much more he could take of this.

There was a knock at his door, and Harry slowly turned to see a sheepish Liam stood there, a cup of tea in his hand as he slowly walked in, clearly ready to retreat if Harry had his angry head on.

“I’m not going to hang around, but I’ve brought you a peppermint tea, might soothe your tummy a bit. Give me a call if you need anything more.”

Liam turned to leave, but Harry called out, needing to apologise. “Liam, don’t- don’t go. I’m really sorry.”

“Don’t apologise,” Liam said, waiting for Harry to sit down before he did the same, looking very concerned. “I’ve been there with Soph through this, remember? I know how shitty it gets near the end when you’re tired, and achey, and feeling like a whale.”

Harry chuckled. “Got it in one. I love being pregnant, don’t get me wrong. But I’m just tired, Li. I can’t sleep, the baby is up all bloody night, and-” Harry cut himself off as he felt himself getting tearful, emotions always on the edge of tipping over. “Sorry-”

“Again. Don’t apologise. And please, go home? We just put the next issue to bed, so there’s nothing here to worry about. Have a rest, and come back tomorrow feeling brighter.”

Harry sighed. He knew Liam was right, but it felt like admitting defeat in a way, and Harry didn’t like that. However, he recognised that right now, this was all too much and he nodded his agreement, ignoring Liams’ smirk. “Fine. But I’ll be back tomorrow.” 

“Oh, I’m sure you will,” Liam agreed, already picking up his phone to call Harry’s assistant and ask for a driver to be called for him. “And call Louis. He’ll want to know you’re home, even if he has to stay at work for now. But if you need us, call us. Don’t be a hero.”

Harry just poked his tongue out, hating how sanctimonious Liam could be at times, especially when he was right. 

Being at home, though, didn’t stop Harry from feeling worse hours later. Louis had come a bit early after Harry had called him in tears, feeling worse and worse. He had tried to eat something when he’d got in and brought it straight back up, much to his disgust. He’d retired to bed and curled up on his side, wishing the nausea would go away but it had only worsened.

There was also a dull ache in Harry’s back that no amount of heat packs or Louis’ massages could fix, and Harry had been in a constant state of upset for the past few hours, working himself up until Louis had called his mum, asking for advice. 

“She really thinks we should get you checked out, love,” Louis said, rubbing between Harry’s shoulder blade as Harry clutched a pillow, his eyes scrunched shut. “I don’t like that you can’t keep anything down, it’s not healthy for you or the baby. Please let me take you to hospital?”

Harry just nodded, really not in any state to argue. Louis helped him sit up and got him dressed, picking up the hospital bag which made Harry want to start panicking again. 

“Don’t worry, just in case, okay? I’d rather be prepared,” Louis said, holding Harry’s hand as he led him out of the room and down stairs. Harry shoved his feet into his Vans and waddled out to the car, pausing before he sat down as another bout of nausea made his stomach clench. Harry felt a bit dizzy and he felt Louis’ hands on his hips, holding him still. “Seriously, I’m glad we’re getting you to hospital.”

Fifty minutes later, Harry was in a hospital bed waiting for a midwife to come and see him. They’d arrived in the department and the nurse on the reception desk had taken one look at Harry and ushered the pair through to a private room. It was cool in there and the soft blue on the walls was calming. Louis sat nervously to his side, and the pair were holding hands, full of anxiety.

Harry jumped as the door opened and quickly shut behind a lady in navy blue scrubs, who had a kind face and reminded Harry somewhat of his mother in law.

“Hello, love, I’m Kate,” she said, cleaning her hands before she pulled on a pair of gloves, approaching the bed. “How are you doing?”

“Not good,” Harry mumbled, shifting around to try and escape his back ache. “I’m Harry.”

“Lovely to meet you, Harry, sorry to hear you’re not well. How far along are you, love?”

Harry clenched his eyes shut so Louis answered for him.

“He’s thirty five weeks and three days. He’s been feeling off for a few days now, and today he couldn’t keep any food down, so I insisted he come here and get checked.”

“Well done, Dad, we like that,” she said, lifting Harry’s shirt and pressing down on his belly. “Harry, love, have you felt the baby move lately?”

“Earlier,” Harry nodded, wincing as she pressed her fingers in a little hard, scoping out how the baby was laying in his womb. “Ouch.”

“Sorry. Can you explain how you’re feeling to me, so I can get an idea of what’s going on?”

Harry spoke to her about his nausea and his aches, how he hadn’t slept and how he wasn’t managing to eat much, and he couldn’t deny by the end she looked concerned.

“Okay. If it’s okay with you, I’d like to do an internal examination.”

Harry’s eyes sought out Louis’, very worried about what was happening. This felt like it had gone from nothing to something serious in a matter of minutes, and Harry was scared.

“Can I ask what you think might be going on?” Louis said as the midwife helped Harry put his feet on the bed, his knees raised. “Do you need a hand, Harry?”

“With my boxers please,” Harry said, suddenly feeling rather embarrassed and exposed. He let Louis pull his boxers off, grateful when his husband made sure he was covered up with the sheet before Kate sat on a stool between his legs. “Oh god-”

“I know, this isn’t the nicest thing in the world,” Kate sympathised, putting lubricant on a couple of fingers. “I’m just going to pop a couple of fingers inside, see if there’s anything happening.”

Harry clenched Louis’ hand as Kate’s fingers stretched him, and not in the way he usually preferred Louis to do it. It felt perfunctory, and Harry was grateful when she pulled her fingers back out, immediately removing her gloves and throwing them in the bin.

“Okay,” she said, standing up now, her hands on her hips. Harry’s tummy was flipping over now, and he just wanted her to say it, to tell him what was wrong with him or the baby. “You’re four centimetres dilated, Harry.”

Harry just stared blankly at her for a moment before he turned to Louis, seeing shock on his husband’s face as well.

“What? I- four? What?”

“You’re in labour, Harry. The back aches you’ve been describing are early contractions. Your baby is head down and engaged, so I think you might be delivering sooner rather than later.”

“But- I’m only thirty five weeks, they have five weeks to go! Oh my god, Louis, I can’t-”

“Harry, thirty five weeks is considered premature, but not dramatically so. I want you to stay here now so we can get you hooked up to some monitors, keep an eye on the baby. I know this feels sudden and scary, but I promise you you’re in the best place, and we’re going to take really good care of you.”

She patted Harry’s forearms before she left, saying she’d return to set up Harry’s foetal monitors shortly, and Harry grabbed Louis, burying his face in Louis’ chest as he finally let himself cry. Louis just held him tightly, rocking them back and forth gently until Harry cried out, his belly tightening with his first obvious contraction.

“Oh god, ow! This is too soon, Lou, what if they’re not okay, they’re going to be so small-”

“It’s alright, darling, I’m here,” Louis said, holding Harry through his contraction. “Please don’t worry, we’re going to do this together. And the baby is going to be just fine.”

They stayed there until the contraction had passed, and saw Kate had entered the room, waiting quietly for the contraction to pass. When Harry was done and sat back on the bed, she walked over and talked them both through the monitor she was strapping around Harry’s belly; one strap around the top, another around the lower part. It was uncomfortable, but Harry was willing to do whatever it took to get his baby here safely. 

“Okay, I’d like you to rest here for a while. You can have sips of water, but nothing more in case you need surgery later down the line. We can set you up with gas and air if you need that, and we can work through other pain relief options if you want them-”

“I don’t. Just gas and air,” Harry said. He’d discussed this at length with Louis and had been adamant he wanted to feel everything, completely opposed to an epidural or even pethidine. Louis had said he’d hoped Harry would be open minded to it during labour but right now, Harry wanted to do this in what he considered to be the right way. “Nothing else, please.”

“Alright, love. I’ll pop back and examine you again in about half an hour, see if we’ve made any progress with your dilation. Did you need anything more from me?”

“No, thanks,” Louis said, dragging the hospital bag over. “Is it alright if I pop outside and make a call shortly?”

Kate nodded and explained how to get back into the delivery suite, and soon, Harry was alone. He cupped his bump, grateful the sheet was giving him a modicum of modesty and he spoke quietly, his voice shaky.

“Please be okay. I’m really sorry I couldn’t keep you in here any longer,” he almost whispered to the baby. “Just… I need you to be okay. You’re so special to me and Daddy already, we’ve been waiting for you for so long. I can’t wait to be your Papa, to hold you and look after you, help you grow big and strong. I just want you to be okay. I love you, little one.”

******

Three hours later, Louis and Harry were walking slowly up and down the corridor. Harry had hated being stuck on the bed and once the midwives were happy that Harry was in established labour and the baby’s heart rate was steady, they allowed him to be disconnected from the monitor and he begged them to let him walk around. 

A birthing ball was produced as well, and Harry found immense relief in rocking his hips around, almost feeling the baby lowering with each bounce. It was a strange and in some ways uncomfortable feeling, but Harry found it far easier than the hard mattress on the bed.

“You’re doing so well,” Louis said, an arm around Harry’s back as they walked up and down. The hospital gown was tied to hide Harry’s bum, but right now, what he looked like was the least of his worries. He focused on putting one foot in front of the other, taking slow and steady steps as they made laps of the labour floor, passing other labouring people as they went. “How are you feeling?”

“Like shit,” Harry replied, clutching Louis’ hand a little tighter. “Oh god- contraction, just wait-”

Harry braced himself on the wall as the pain racked through his body, his belly tightening as Harry breathed in and out deeply as he’d been taught, waiting for it to pass. When it had, he stood back up and started walking, Louis by his side every step of the way.

“Did you call Gemma?”

“Mm hmm,” Louis confirmed, shuffling alongside Harry. “She’s booking herself on a flight as soon as she can. And our mums are on standby, ready to come over whenever we need them. Can you believe this is happening?”

Harry gritted his teeth, everything aching by now. It was nearly nine at night and he was tired, weary from not eating and fed up of staring at the same few walls as they walked back and forth. “I’m still annoyed at myself for not getting to full term,” he confessed, turning the corner with Louis. “I just don’t want anything to be wrong, it’ll be my fault-”

“Hey, no, stop that,” Louis said, coming to stand in front of his husband. “None of this is your fault. One of those things, you heard what Kate said. And babies are born much earlier than thirty five weeks and they’re fine, love. You’re struggling, love. Do you want to go back and sit on the ball?”

“Please,” Harry nodded, letting Louis guide him back to their room. They walked inside and Harry decided to change tactics. He knelt down in front of the ball and leaned over it, almost crying at the way the pressure in his lower back was relieved. He felt Louis crouch down behind him, his hand rubbing up and down in a soothing manner that had Harry closing his eyes, finally relaxing for the first time in a while. “S’good, don’t stop.”

“I won’t, I’ve got you. You should have some ice chips, love…” Louis disappeared then came back with a cup full of ice chips. He fished a couple out and pushed them between Harry’s lips, giving him something else to focus on for a moment. “You’re doing really well, I’m so proud of you.”

His phone pinged then, and Louis slid it out, holding it in front of Harry’s face so he could read the message from Niall.

**Nialler: Good luck, Haz! We’re all thinking of you and can’t wait to meet baby Tommo! Take care, and push nice and hard! See ya soon, love the Horans xxxx**

“Bless him,” Louis grinned, tapping out a reply. “Liam texted as well, told me to tell you not to worry about work at all, that he’s got it covered and he and Soph will stop by when the baby is here.”

“Knock knock, only me,” Kate called as she stepped, smiling at the sight of Harry on the floor, draped over his ball. “Ah, a lot of people find that position really good for their back, are you comfy down there?”

“As comfy as I can get with a human being about to pop out of me,” Harry mumbled, making Louis smile and lean in to kiss him. “Please tell me I’m more dilated now…”

“Just going to check,” Kate said before she slid fingers inside him. “Oh, excellent, Harry, you’re nearly seven centimetres. Things are progressing really well. Keep moving and doing what you’re doing. It’s just a case of wait and see now. Anything I can get for you? Louis?”

“We’re good, thank you.”

She left them alone once more, and Harry let out a long breath, his body more than tired.

“Lou, I’m exhausted,” he whined, shifting until Louis realised what he wanted, and he helped up to sit on the ball. Halfway up, though, Harry knew another contraction was coming and he sat back down, turning onto his hands and knees, his belly hanging down low. “Oh fucking hell-”

“Breathe with me,” Louis encouraged, helping Harry try to breathe away the pain. The gas and air had made Harry feel so nauseous he’d given up after a few contractions, and instead focused on breathing away the pain. Right now, though, Harry kind of liked the idea of drugs, and he gritted his teeth, rocking back and forth until the contraction passed.

Louis helped him sit back again when he was done, and Harry could see how his belly had visibly dropped, much lower than it was just a few days ago even. 

“I can’t believe this is the last day I’ll ever be pregnant,” Harry muttered, shivering slightly. He’d thrown off as many clothes as he could earlier after he felt like the baby was a furnace inside him, but now, he was cooling down. He looked up gratefully as Louis draped a blanket over him, the scratchy fabric welcome against his skin. “I’m going to miss this bump.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I really am,” Harry said, rolling his feet in small circles. His ankles were still swollen, and Harry had to admit he wouldn’t miss this part of pregnancy. “I love having them with me all the time. I’ll miss having them just there, you know? And people smiling at me when I’m walking around, or looking at my belly poking out over the water in the bath…”

“I’ll miss your pregnant body too,” Louis confessed, playing with Harry’s wedding ring, the only piece of jewellery he was wearing. “I love seeing you full of my baby. I’m just so happy we’ve had a chance to experience this- oh, another contraction?”

Harry just nodded, breathing deeply again. “Help me up.”

Louis didn’t argue, and Harry felt Louis hook him under his arms and bring him to his feet before he carefully walked over to the bed, leaning on it with his hands. Louis counted him through it, and just as Harry thought it had passed, there was a pop, and-

“Oh god-”

“Is that-”

“My water broke-”

“Shit, I’ll call Kate!”

Louis hit the alarm on the wall and within seconds, Kate came running inside along with another midwife, both looking in alarm at the large puddle on the floor.

“Okay, Harry, I’d like you up on the bed so we can check you now, love,” Kate encouraged, and between the three of them, they got Harry on the bed, trying to breathe through another contraction. It felt more intense now his water had gone, and he pushed away the other midwife as she tried to feel his belly.

“No, not- owwwww,” Harry groaned gutterly, willing the pain to go away. It had been hours now, and Harry just wanted to be able to sleep. 

“Let us check you, Harry,” Kate said, her voice a little stern. He just covered his face with his arm and moaned in discomfort as the midwife checked him, Louis to the side stroking Harry’s hair back. “Okay, good. Nine centimetres. I don’t think it’ll be long, love.”

“This is it,” Louis grinned, pecking Harry’s lips quickly as the midwives covered him back up. “Not long now, love, and our baby will be here. This is really happening, baby.”

“It is,” Harry agreed, letting Louis wipe his sweaty forehead with a tissue. “Not long to go.”

*****

“I need to push!” Harry yelled as there was an unmistakable pressure between his legs, making him bear down without even thinking about it. “Oh my god-”

He clenched his eyes shut and pushed as hard as he could, almost wanting to scream at how strong this contraction was. He’d reached ten centimetres around twenty minutes ago, and had been feeling the urge to push since then, although this was the first contraction where he could feel something starting to happen.

“Good, Harry, and stop when you feel the contraction stopping,” Kate encouraged, standing behind Harry, watching intently. Harry was on all fours against the propped up head of the bed, and Louis was next to him, holding his hand and being the most encouraging birthing partner Harry could have ever wished for. “Okay, with the next one, I want you to push down hard into your bottom, try not to make any noise, focus all your energy into the push.”

“You can do this,” Louis said, and Harry turned his head, locking eyes with his husband. “You can bring our little one into the world, Haz.”

Harry nodded and he winced as he felt another contraction start, sending pain through every nerve ending in his body. He began to push as he felt the urge, and instead of yelling out again, he pressed his lips tightly together and focused everything on pushing his baby out.

“Good, and push for a count of five… one, and two, and three, and four, and five, and breathe, good, keep going Harry-”

“I can’t!” Harry exclaimed, crying out. It was half one in the morning and Harry was beyond tired now. He’d not eaten since before lunchtime, he was thirsty, and the pain was on a scale Harry didn’t even know existed. “I can’t do this anymore, Louis, help me…”

“I can’t, love, but I’m here. Hold my hand, you can do this, I know you can. We’re going to meet our little one very soon, you’re so amazing and I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” Harry sobbed as the contraction abated. “How much longer?”

“I see the baby’s head when you’re pushing,” Kate said, as the other midwives moved around the room, getting things ready for the baby’s arrival. “You just need to push a little longer, and a little harder for me, okay?”

Harry tried his best, but an hour later, he was still pushing, and nothing much was happening. He was sweating, and in pain, and he was hating every minute of this.

“I think we need to change tactics, Harry,” Kate said, glancing at Louis for a moment. “You’re getting too tired to push, and I’m seeing some fetal decelerations when you’re pushing that I don’t like.”

“What am I- I don’t know what to do,” Harry begged, feeling a bit out of it now. He was now on his back, legs in stirrups to take the pressure off, but he was waning, his energy completely gone. “I don’t want a c section…”

“I don’t think we need to go there yet, but I think we need some intervention. I’m going to call the doctor and discuss forceps. Are you open to that?”

Harry nodded tiredly, and Louis leaned in, mopping his brow with a cloth, trying to cool him down. “Louis, I don’t know, is this okay-”

“It’ll help you, love. They’ll just help the baby out a bit while you push. Worth a try before we have to go to a section.”

Harry trusted Louis so he agreed. They decided to move him to theatre for the forceps in case things went in a direction no one wanted to discuss, and Harry laid back, allowing them to wheel him through the corridor while Louis strutted alongside, scrubs in his hands. He disappeared to change, making Harry panic when he turned to see Louis wasn't there, and it took someone running to get Louis before he calmed down, holding Louis’ hand so tightly he couldn’t escape.

“Alright, Harry, I’m Dr. Jackson,” a man said, walking into the room with scrubs and gloves on. “I understand we’re slowing down with your labour here.”

There were hushed voices as the medical team discussed everything, and Harry was laid out again, Louis sat by his head. 

“Right, Harry, I don’t want you to push with the next contraction, just wait. I’m going to insert the forceps around your baby’s head, and I’ll tell you when to start pushing.”

“Louis, I’m scared,” Harry whimpered, clutching Louis’ hand, desperately seeking some sort of comfort in his husband’s face. “Don’t leave me…”

“I’m going nowhere. I’m right here, sweetheart. I love you.”

“Love you too,” Harry mumbled as another contraction started to manifest. He flinched as he felt the first forcep enter his body, and the next, the doctor nodding to the midwife by his side. 

“Okay, Harry, the forceps are in place. Within about three contractions, we should have your baby, okay? Go for it now, really hard… good, Harry, big push- push, push, push-”

“Come on, love, push, baby,” Louis encouraged, and Harry did as he was asked. The environment around him melted away as he focused everything he had on pushing, almost sliding down the bed as the doctor pulled between his legs. “I’ve got you, keep going-”

“Okay, and stop, Harry, the contraction’s gone,” the doctor said, glancing at the monitor where the readouts were going haywire. “You’re doing well, the baby’s coming down nicely. Baby moved well with that first one. Dad, did you want to see…?”

Louis glanced to Harry who nodded, and he stepped around the sterile drapes, peering between Harry’s legs where the baby was apparently crowning.

“Oh, Harry… that’s our little one…”

Harry locked eyes with his husband, unsurprised to see tears swimming in his eyes now. “Are they okay?”

“Perfect. They’re almost here, Haz.”

Harry let out a long breath, feeling beyond tired. He hurt everywhere, he hadn’t slept in over twenty four hours now but knowing he was so close to finally meeting his baby made him sit up, steeling himself for the inevitable pain that was to come. He gritted his teeth as the pain bloomed again, soon erupting into the strongest contraction he’d had so far.

“Okay, here we go, another one, push for us, Harry,” the doctor instructed, tugging on the forceps as Harry started to push as hard as he could. The pain around where the baby was emerging was immense, but he just gripped Louis’ hand tightly, determined to bring their baby into the world. “Good, keeping going, push-”

“Little pushes, Harry, the baby’s head is coming out, that’s it, little push-”

Harry screamed a little as the head emerged, stretching him beyond compare. The medical staff around kept encouraging him, busying themselves around as he focused on pushing.

“Dad, come and see-”

“Louis-”

“Can I-?”

“Yes, do it…”

Louis peered the sheets around in amazement, choking back a sob. “This is just- I can’t believe this is happening, you’re so amazing…”

“Last one, Harry. Big push for me, get those shoulders out, that’s it-”

Harry pushed with everything he had, and suddenly, the room was filled with a loud wail as the baby started to cry, sending Harry into tears of utter relief, Louis sobbing by his side. 

“Look down, Harry, that’s your baby-” Kate said with a smile, encouraging Harry to sit up slightly.

Harry looked down as best he could, straining to see as the doctor carefully pulled the rest of his baby out of his body, Louis watching intently at the end of the bed as Harry cried again, gasping as they swiftly placed a bloody, wriggly newborn onto his chest. His hands flew up to hold onto the precious baby in his arms… their baby. 

“Oh my god- oh god-”

“Harry, you just-”

“Lou-” Harry was openly sobbing now, burying his face against the tiny head on his chest, realising that every single dream he’d had since he was a young man who’d fallen in love had finally come true. 

“It’s a boy, Haz, we’ve got a son,” Louis cried quietly, his hand against the baby’s back as Harry held him tightly, not wanting to let him go. 

“Congratulations, daddies,” Kate said, coming over and rubbing at Harry’s son with a towel, cleaning him up slightly. “He’s beautiful.”

“We’ve got a boy,” Harry sobbed, looking up at his husband. “We did it, Lou.”

“You’re fucking amazing,” Louis cried, kissing Harry harshly, their lips pressed roughly together as they realised that finally, after all the years of heartbreak and pain, they were parents. They had a son. “Oh, look at his little hands, Haz…”

“Dad, would you like to cut the cord?”

Harry watched as Louis took the scissors in his shaky hand, doing as the doctor told him and snipping the cord that had linked Harry and their son for so long. The nurse clamped it and tucked the blanket around the baby, making sure he was nice and cosy. Harry just laid there in a daze as the tiny baby against him just quietened down, his tiny hand sticking out of the blanket Kate had draped over him for warmth.

“Harry, I need to take him and weigh him, see how he is because he’s a preemie,” Kate said gently, and he let his son go, opening his arms for Louis instead. They cried together, Louis watching nervously over Harry’s shoulder as a few nurses tended to their baby before finally, they came back over. “He’s healthy, Harry. He’s breathing on his own, so we’re happy to keep him with you.”

“He’s five pounds, six ounces,” another nurse piped up. “Born at one forty nine am.”

“Here you go…” Kate lowered the naked baby back onto Harry’s bare chest, wrapping the pair up again. “Skin to skin is good for babies, especially early ones. Congratulations, both of you.”

“Thank you so much,” Louis murmured, stroking their son’s head with gentle, loving hands. “He’s so beautiful, Harry. You did so well, I’m so proud of you.”

They stayed in the theatre until Harry had delivered the placenta, and finally, he was wheeled back to his room, where Kate fussed around.

“I want Louis to hold him,” Harry said quietly, and Kate smiled knowingly.

“Louis, open your shirt,” she instructed, and Louis just gaped at Harry for a moment until he realised what was being asked of him, fumbling with his buttons and sitting down in the chair by Harry’s bed. “Come on, little one…”

She lifted up their son with careful hands and walked him over to where Louis was sitting. Harry grabbed the phone from the table by his bed and filmed as he watched Louis cuddle his son for the first time, tears falling down and onto the blanket wrapped around the pair of them.

“Look at you,” Harry said softly, snapping a few photos of the emotional moment. “You and your boy.”

“I never thought I’d get this… to hold our baby. We’ve got a son, Harry. He’s ours. We made him.”

Harry just nodded, unable to speak. His throat hurt from holding back his tears, and it was just so much to see Louis sitting with the child they’d always so desperately wanted in his arms. He had such a look of love on his face Harry could feel his own heart melting, and he wished he could bottle this moment and keep it forever.

“Do you still like the name we chose?” Louis asked softly, and Harry smiled, knowing it was perfect now he’d seen him. “Yeah?”

“I really do.”

“Me too. Welcome to the world, Gabriel River Tomlinson. You have no idea just how loved you are.”

*****

A few hours later, Harry had been cleaned up by the nurses and helped into the shower by Louis. He felt a lot better after that, although he couldn’t believe just how much it hurt to walk now. The nurses all assured him it would pass, but right now, Harry never wanted anything going near that part of him ever again.

He shuffled slightly on the bed, trying to get comfortable. Gabriel was asleep in the cot next to his bed, and Louis had nipped home to get a few things. The baby bag had been full of things for their newborn, but since he wasn’t quite at forty weeks just yet, Harry hadn’t bothered to add anything of his own, meaning he’d been left in a hospital gown and not much else.

Harry was texting a very excited Gemma with some photos, and he was thrilled to see she had booked a flight that was leaving in a few hours time, and Robin was going to pick her up from the airport. Harry couldn’t wait to see his sister and show off his son. Gabriel was his proudest achievement to date, and Harry was just so excited to introduce him to everyone.

“I’m here, love,” Harry cooed as Gabriel started to whimper in his cot, little fists waving in the air. Harry carefully swung his legs around and winced as he stood up on his feet, shuffling over to the plastic cot. He smiled down at his son, still feeling a little in wonder that he was actually here and he belonged to him, and reached out, grazing his fingers against Gabriel’s tiny finger.

Harry slid a hand just under Gabriel’s head and another under his bottom, picking him up and placing him against his chest. The baby continued to cry, sounding weak rather than anything demanding, and Harry just treasured every sound. He walked back to the bed and sat back down, shifting Gabriel into the crook of his arm, looking down at him. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, using his free hand to stroke Gabriel’s tiny pink cheek. “Do you have any idea how much you mean to me? To your daddy? We both wanted you so much, and for so, so long. Now you’re here. It’s a bit surreal, you know. Just a while ago you were in my belly. Now you’re here, in my arms. And it feels so right. I love you so much already. I just-”

Harry cut himself off. Everything was hitting him like a sledgehammer, and Harry felt a little overwhelmed. In less than a year, he’d gone from a successful magazine editor with a husband and a perfect marriage to all of that and being a father as well, and Harry still couldn’t quite believe this was his reality.

“Love? Oh god, what’s wrong?” Louis asked, sweeping quickly into the room when he saw Harry was crying, their son in his arms. The bags made a loud bang as they hit the floor, making Gabriel jump but Harry just held him tighter, tears soaking into the blanket wrapped around his son. “Harry, sweetheart, look at me. Do you need me to take Gabriel?”

Harry sniffed and shook his head, using his shoulder to wipe away the tears that were still freely falling. He felt the bed dip as Louis sat next to him, wrapping an arm around Harry and tugging him against his body.

“Talk to me, love. You feeling a bit overwhelmed?”

“Yeah,” Harry replied, still gazing down in wonder at his son. “Just… I’m a daddy, Lou. This is everything I always wanted, you know it is, but now it’s here…”

“It’s a lot, I know,” Louis said, his voice soothing Harry already. “But that’s why we’re both here, yeah? We’re a team. We’re going to be so good at this parenting thing, I just know it.”

He kissed Harry gently for a moment before he leaned across Harry’s body and kissed their baby’s head. Gabriel seemed happy in Harry’s arms as he’d quietened down, and Harry was just enjoying the weight of him in his arms, the way Gabriel instinctively tucked into him as if he sensed Harry was safe, that he was home.

The door opened and Kate came into the room, smiling at the family scene in front of her.

“He’s probably ready for a feed, Harry,” she said, setting down a few small bottles of milk. “Have you done this before?”

“A few times,” Harry nodded, accepting the bottle from Kate and smiling at Louis before he gently pushed the rubber teat between his tiny pink lips, watching him start to suck. “We’ve helped raise our nieces and nephews. Oh god, look at him.”

“I’ll leave you both to it. Harry, I’d advise that you nap when your baby sleeps. I’ll do an exam in a few hours, check you’re okay down below and make sure Gabriel is feeding on track. He seems to be doing well, though, hungry little fella.”

“He’s got my appetite,” Louis chuckled, turning his phone on Harry and snapping a photo of the first feed between father and son. “Thanks, Kate.”

“No problem. I’ll leave you all alone,” she said, scribbling something on Harry’s notes before she made her way out of the room, giving them a little privacy.

“Are you feeling alright, love?” Louis questioned, standing up and taking a few things out of the duffle bag he’d packed for Harry. He set down his charger and toiletries on the bedside table, and left Harry some clean clothes on the end of the bed. “It was amazing, you know. Watching you give, pushing him out like that.”

“You’re not… turned off?” Harry hedged, keeping his eyes on his son as he revealed his deepest fears, too aware his cheeks were on fire too. He’d always wanted Louis to watch him bring their child into the world, but now, he couldn’t help but worry about what Louis had seen, that he’d never quite look at him in the same way again.

“Turned off? What?”

“Well, it can’t have been pretty. I just… I don’t want you to not want me anymore.”

“You silly arse,” Louis laughed, taking another couple of photos. “It was like watching a miracle, I promise you. Your body was so strong, going through labour and then bringing Gabriel into our lives. I was in complete awe of you, Harry, and I feel completely privileged that I got to watch you do that. I’ll never forget that, but please don’t think it doesn’t mean I won’t want you. I do, and I always will.”

“Love you,” Harry mumbled, smiling shyly up at his husband. “Wanna burp him?”

Louis nodded, and Harry passed him over to Louis, his heart melting as Louis tightly gripped their baby to his chest, patting gently with his left hand. Louis had done this a million times before in front of him, with Ellie, Thomas, Roisin and many other babies but this felt so different. This was  _ their _ child, the baby they’d made through their love for each other, and Harry welled up again, just looking at the pair. He reached for a tissue, wiping his eyes as he saw Louis smiling fondly at him again, shaking his head slightly.

“I can’t even stop,” Harry said through his tears. Louis wandered over to the window with Gabriel still in his arms, and Harry got up and walked over, joining his husband and son. “That’s your world, little man.”

“We’re going to take such good care of you,” Louis joined in, resting his head on Harry’s shoulder as they stared out over the world coming to life, the sun rising and people moving around, on their way to work. For most people, it was the start of an ordinary day, but for Harry and Louis, it was extraordinary in every way possible. “You’re our little miracle, Gabriel. I love you so, so much.”

“I always thought we were complete,” Harry muttered, all three Tomlinson’s entwined with each other, the picture of happiness. “But he’s completed us, Lou. He’s our little bonus piece.”

“Bonus? Not our missing piece?”

“Nope,” Harry said, a dopey smile on his lips. “We were complete when it was us. But he’s the little miracle we didn’t realise was missing until he arrived. He’s filled the little empty space that’s been in my heart ever since we couldn’t get pregnant. You, me and Gabriel. That’s what we were always destined to be.”

Harry had dreamed about this for years. Even when they thought having a baby wasn’t going to be possible for them, Harry’s mind had gone to that place at night, thinking about how it would feel to carry Louis’ child inside him, to see Louis cradle their baby in his strong arms. But now, Harry’s dreams were real. He didn’t have to dream anymore. This was real. He’d never felt so lucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the world, Gabriel!
> 
> I hope that was okay, and you enjoyed Harry and Louis finally becoming parents!!
> 
> More on Thursday, then just the epilogue to go :(


	18. Louis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How is there only the epilogue to go?!
> 
> Well, enjoy this little flash into the family life of the Tomlinsons!
> 
> Thanks as always for the support, and let me know in the comments what you think!   
> x

Louis stirred as another scream echoed through the baby monitor on his bedside table, blinking blearily into the darkness. He could feel Harry stirring so he quickly sat up, clearing his throat gently.

“I’ve got him, love. Go back to sleep.” 

“Kay,” Harry mumbled, burying his head further into the pillow. They’d been home from the hospital for three days now, and Gabriel was turning five days old today. Since then, Louis had been up at night as much as he could with the baby, letting Harry rest. His husband had been absolutely worn out since they’d got home, and Louis was doing his best to give Harry time to recuperate.

The birth had been hard on him, leaving Harry almost too sore to walk for a few days. Louis wished there was more he could do than run him a bath and let him soak his pain away, so he’d taken on as many of the night feeds as he could, enjoying the time alone with his son in the small hours of the morning while the world slept around them.

He heaved himself to his feet and pulled on a hoodie as he shuffled across the room to where Gabriel was making a racket in his moses basket, little fists waving around. The blankets that Harry had carefully placed on him earlier on were now shoved down the bottom of the basket, and Louis quickly leaned in, picking him up and cradling him to his chest.

“Ssssh,” he soothed, rocking side to side as he grabbed a blanket, tucking it around Gabriel’s body to keep him warm. “Daddy’s here now. Are you hungry, hmm?”

Together, they quietly left the room and Louis walked down the stairs, holding Gabriel tightly. His tiny body was warm against Louis’, and he smiled down, seeing Gabriel’s face illuminated by the moonlight filtering in through the window in the hall. With ease, Louis took one of the prepared bottles from the fridge and put it in the warmer, swaying Gabriel side to side to keep him quiet.

When the bottle was done, Louis went back upstairs with the bottle and sat in the rocking chair, adjusting the cushion behind his back as he began to feed, watching his son suck hungrily at his milk. The room was warm thanks to the fact Harry insisted on having the heating on low at all times, determined Gabriel wasn’t going to get cold, and sitting there in his pyjamas, Louis was grateful for Harry’s foresight.

“Such a hungry boy, just like Daddy and Papa, aren’t you?” Louis smiled, adjusting the bottle slightly to make sure Gabriel could feed easily. By the time the bottle was almost empty, Gabriel was whimpering, and Louis knew what was coming. They’d struggled feeding Gabriel at times, the baby struggling with mild colic and already, Louis could feel by his tense back that it was coming now too. “Oh dear, love, let’s try and get some wind up, hmm?”

He shifted his son onto his chest and started to pat his back gently, trying to encourage Gabrield to burp. Nothing was happening so Louis patted a little more roughly, jiggling Gabriel too. The whimpers had turned into cries now, and Louis was desperately trying to shush him, hoping not to wake up Harry, but that was in vain.

“Want me to try?” Harry asked from the doorway, and Louis nodded, handing over his grizzly son. It was horrible to see Gabriel in pain, his little knees drawn up to his belly in discomfort. “Lemme sit, Lou.”

Louis held the chair still as Harry lowered himself into it, gently resting Gabriel along his forearm, supporting his head while his little legs dangled down. For some reason, Gabriel found this position a little comfortable, and Harry burped him, patting between his little shoulder blades as he cried, cheeks red as the wind gave him bother.

“In for another long night,” Harry muttered, and Louis nodded, sitting down on the rug beside Harry’s feet. “I hate that he struggles with wind, Lou, I wish there was something I could do to help. None of the other babies have had this…”

“You know Mum said it’s nothing you did,” Louis said, knowing Harry had been blaming himself for Gabriel’s feeding problems so far. “It’s just one of those things that happens with some babies. I’m here, I’m not going anywhere. We’ll take it in turns, alright?”

Harry gave him a wobbly smile, the room lit gently now by the nightlight Louis had flicked on. It had been a present from Daisy, in the shape of a sunflower, and Harry had loved it so much he’d plugged it in the first night home, despite the fact Gabriel would be sleeping in their room for the first few months of his life.

“Thank you. Don’t know what I’m going to do without you, when you go back to work.”

“Be an amazing Dad?” Louis replied, smiling as Gabriel let out a burp and Harry quickly caught his spit up on the muslin cloth he had on hand. “You’ve got this, love. You’re a natural, just as I knew you would be.”

It took another whole hour and a half of Louis and Harry taking it in turns to burp their son and rock him until he finally tired himself out. He ended up dozing off on Harry’s chest, and Louis carefully lifted him, putting him into the moses basket and praying for a few hours sleep as he crept back into bed next to Harry, who immediately curled into his side.

“Love you.Thanks for helping.”

“No need to thank me, love, he’s my boy too,” Louis whispered, kissing the top of Harry’s head. He could already sense Harry dropping into sleep, and he let his own eyes shut. They flew open when Gabriel snuffled and his blankets shifted slightly, but silence soon fell again. Louis fell asleep too with a smile on his face, happy with his lot.

******

“Come in, Anne,” Louis grinned, hugging his mother in law as she stepped in. “Harry’s just on facetime Gemma with Gabriel.”

“Oh bless,” Anne smiled, hanging up her coat. “Gosh, it’s warm in here.”

Louis followed her through to the living room and laughed when Anne put her face into view, making Gemma shriek and Gabriel startle, immediately starting to cry. He left Harry putting Gabriel in Anne’s arms as he finished his call, and winked over to his husband as he left the room, quickly preparing tea for everyone, and popping another bottle in the warmer for Gabriel.

“How is he doing, Lou?” Anne asked, making Louis jump as he dunked the tea bag around in the cup. “He seems happy, but I know my son, he’s good at hiding things when he wants to.”

Louis chuckled and nodded, passing Anne her cup. “He’s good, honestly. He’s loving being a dad. You can see it’s just what he’s always wanted. He holds Gabe all the time, and chats away to him… I’m just so grateful we’re getting to do this, you know? I loved seeing him with our nieces and nephews but this…”

“It’s different, isn’t it? Your own child?”

“Exactly. Like… my heart feels so full watching them together, we’re so complete with Gabe. It’s so overwhelming at times…”

“Oh, love…” Anne scooped Louis into a hug then, holding him tightly for a moment. Louis relaxed in her embrace until Gabriel’s cries ramped up and he pulled away, smiling wryly at her. 

“I tell you what, I’m feeling my age,” he laughed, shaking the bottle to make sure it was warm all over and that the milk powder had dissolved. “I’m nearly forty one, Anne, and I’ve got a newborn. I get why people do this in their twenties, I really do.”

“It happened at exactly the right time,” Anne said, walking after Louis as they headed back to Harry. He was stood up now, trying to shush a screaming Gabriel who was red-faced and clearly very unhappy. “Oh, let me feed him, give you both a break.”

Harry nodded and deposited his son into his mum’s safe arms, collapsing onto the sofa beside Louis with a sigh. “Man, he’s so much like you when he’s hungry, Lou.”

They all laughed at that, but silence soon fell as Harry shifted closer to Louis, curling his legs up by his side. Louis just wrapped his arm around his husband’s shoulder, enjoying a couple of minutes just for the two of them. Since Gabriel’s birth, their attention had of course been focused around him, but Louis missed moments like this where they could just relax and be with each other.

“Go upstairs and lay down, you two,” Anne instructed, looking entirely at home with her grandson in her arms. “He’s fine with me. I-”

“Mum, no, it’s fine, I-”

“Harry, listen to me. I’ve raised two babies, I can manage this one for a few hours. You need to rest, love, or you’ll burn out. I’ve waited so long to be a nanny… let me enjoy it, please? I just want to help.”

“She’s right,” Louis agreed, sliding out from where Harry had all but slumped against him now. “Gabe’s fine with her. And if we’re needed, then we’re just upstairs.”

Harry sighed but Louis could see all the fight go out of him as he nodded, letting Louis drag him to his feet. He kissed his mum on the cheek and cupped his son’s head before he kissed him too, holding hands with Louis as they left nanny and grandson alone. Louis slapped Harry’s bum playfully as they climbed the stairs and once they were in their room, they stripped off their jeans (paternity leggings for Harry) and climbed between the covers, seeking out each others warmth.

“It’s nice to get you to myself for a minute,” Louis started, running his fingers through Harry’s slightly greasy hair. Harry had gone to get in the shower that morning but just as he’d locked the door, Gabriel had gone into meltdown mode after his morning feed, and he’d just wrapped the towel around his bare hips, joining Louis in the nursery where they took another hour to calm the baby down. “How are you feeling, sweetheart?”

“Knackered. We’ve always been around babies, Lou, but no one tells you how utterly draining it is to be a new parents. Why didn’t they tell us?”

“Do you really think we’d have listened?” Louis said, smiling to himself. “We were so wrapped up in the pregnancy bubble, love. And although I’m knackered, this is the best thing we’ve ever done, hands down. Seeing his little face just makes me happier than I’ve ever been. He made a daddy, Haz.”

Harry tilted his head back so Louis could connect their lips for a brief moment. Harry’s soft lips brushed back and forth over Louis’, slipping his plump bottom lip between Louis’.

“Sometimes,” Harry began, his voice barely a whisper, “I feel like this is all a dream and I’m going to wake up and find out I’ve imagined this all.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t know why we’re been so lucky,” Harry confessed, burying his head in the side of Louis’ neck. “All those years we tried to have a baby, and then we were just blessed. And now Gabriel is here, and we’re a family. I just want to bottle how I feel right now and sell it, because everyone deserves to feel like this at some point in their lives, Lou.”

“We deserve this,” Louis said quietly, tucking the blankets up and over their bodies, legs now entwined as they usually were when they slept. One hand came down and rested on the swell of Harry’s belly, still not completely deflated from carrying their son for just over eight months. “Your amazing body grew him, and now he’s here with us. I’m determined to enjoy every minute.”

“Me too. But is it okay if we enjoy every minute of this alone time too while Mum’s got him?”

“Got something in mind?” Louis smirked, licking his lips briefly.

“Yep. A good few hours of uninterrupted sleep thanks to knowing our son is safe and happy downstairs with his Nanny. You with me?”

“Oh hell yes,” Louis grinned, kissing Harry quickly. “Bring on some sleep!”

*****

Louis stood up and hovered over his newborn son, quickly taking a series of photos of Gabriel looking unbelievably adorable in the fish printed onesie he’d dressed him in that morning. He’d let Harry lie in and had bathed Gabriel on his own, chatting away while he gently poured warm water over his son’s wriggly body. Gabriel had been sleepier than normal, but Louis wasn’t too worried. He figured Gabriel was just getting used to the world and adjusting to a bit of a normal sleeping pattern.

“Goodness me, I think you’re just the cutest baby in the entire world,” Louis said as he placed the ‘I’m a week old today!’ card by Gabriel’s side and taking a photo. When he’d taken one where Gabriel’s little eyes were open and he was staring up at his Daddy, Louis sent the picture to the family chat, the replies immediately flooding in. “I’m such a lucky Daddy. Yes I am!”

He laid there next to Gabriel for a little while, only looking up when he heard Harry’s footsteps on the stairs, his husband smiling down at them and joining the pair on the floor. Gabriel didn’t really do much aside from lay there, his little fists occasionally twitching by his sides, but Louis just rested his hand on Gabe’s tummy, smiling over at Harry.

“Did he drink much this morning?”

Louis shook his head, peering up at the bottle he’d left on the table, not having made it to the kitchen to rinse it out yet. “No, only half, I think? He really wasn’t having it, love. I winded him but he didn’t want more.”

“That’s a few days now,” Harry pondered, sitting up and tapping away at his phone. “I don’t know, maybe we’re just fussing…”

Louis sat up and crossed his legs, placing a soft woollen blanket over Gabriel’s body so he didn’t get too cold. “He’s more sleepy than usual, and he’s not feeding as much. I think it’s worth us asking for some advice.”

“Oh god…”

“Love, don’t do that. Don’t panic. Let’s ring the midwives, they said to do that if we had any worries. I’m sure people have called for far less.”

By now, Harry had picked up Gabriel and was tucking him against his chest, looking worried. Louis wished he could calm Harry down, but when he was like this, Harry wouldn’t listen to reason, losing himself in the worst case scenario. “What if it’s serious and we’ve just ignored it, Lou? We’re terrible parents, I should have done something-”

“Stop. Harry, stop. Baby, please listen to me. I’m going to call the midwives, ask and see what they think. You wait here, okay?”

Harry nodded and Louis hopped to his feet, heading out of the room. He knew Harry listening in wasn’t the best idea, so he took the stairs two at a time, making the call in Gabriel’s nursery. The midwives on the other end of the phone were kind, listening to all of Louis’ concerns, but his heart still fell as they asked Louis to bring him into the hospital, to be checked over.

Louis sat for a moment when he hung up the call, suddenly feeling nervous himself. The thought that something could be wrong with Gabriel hadn’t really entered his mind before. They’d just taken for granted that Gabriel was well despite being premature, and now, he was doubting everything he thought he knew about being a parent, his own judgment that he’d always relied on for everything in his life.

Slowly, he descended the stairs, listening as he heard Harry’s low voice muttering something inaudible to their son. He hovered in the doorway for a moment, watching Gabriel’s tiny hand gripping Harry’s finger, the pair sharing a moment. Harry, though, was on high alert and his head snapped up a moment later, his face falling as he read the emotions echoed back at him on Louis’. 

“No…”

“Love, it’s not necessarily a bad thing. Let’s just get him to the hospital and checked out. It’s going to be alright.” Louis wasn’t sure he entirely believed his own words, but right now, they were what Harry needed to hear so Louis was going to say them. He walked in and reached down for Harry’s hand, squeezing it gently. “We’ll be alright.”

The next half an hour felt like the longest of Louis’ life. Harry dashed upstairs and packed a bag for their son while Louis got him into his pramsuit, Gabriel barely even protesting as Louis bent his arms and legs until he was completely inside and zipped up. He wordlessly put him into his car seat, and by the time he picked him up, resting the seat handle in the crook of his elbow, Harry was back with a bag full of baby clothes and everything else they might need.

The car ride to the hospital went surprisingly quickly, and before Louis knew it, he was walking into the children’s A&E department with his son and his husband, fear starting to eat away at his belly. All of his sense of calm disappeared when a nurse hurried over, asking if they were the parents of Gabriel Tomlinson, and they followed around to the baby unit.

“I’m just going to take him out and undress him, so the doctors can come and take a look,” the nurse in lilac scrubs said, leaving Harry and Louis nervously waiting to the side as the medical professionals took over. Gabriel whimpered as his naked body was cooled by the room air, and Louis had to hold himself back from rushing over and comforting him. “When did he last feed, and how much?”

“Uh, about two hours ago, and he only managed about twenty five ml,” Louis said, brow furrowing as concern flashed across the nurse’s face. “He’s not fed a lot for a few days…”

“He’s been sleepier than normal as well. We thought he had a bit of colic at first, but now he’s barely feeding and he’s sleeping loads… is he really poorly?”

“Let me go and get the doctor. I’ll be back to do some bloodwork.”

Harry and Louis were left in a few chairs as the nurse put Gabriel into a crib, covering him with a couple of cotton blankets before she came back and drew some blood. Harry cried listening to Gabriel’s pained screams, and Louis just held his husband, hoping this would all be over soon. Gabriel soon fell silent, and when they were left alone, Louis got up, clutching the edge of his son’s plastic crib, looking down at him. 

The tears soon started to fall, and Louis felt unashamed of the fact, all of his emotions finally coming out. He sobbed loudly after a moment, and he felt Harry rush to his side, pulling Louis to his chest.

“Darling… Lou, what’s wrong? Oh, love…”

“I can’t- what- I can’t do this-” Louis stuttered, panic overtaking every inch of him now. He felt Harry’s hand on his own, and he sat on one of the chairs, body visibly shaking. “Harry, he’s so special, he’s so small-”

“And we’re in the best place,” Harry said, his deep voice slow and soothing as he tried to reassure Louis, a complete role reversal from earlier on. Harry’s big hands rubbed up and down Louis’ arms, providing a grounding touch, connecting the pair. “Sweetheart, Gabe’s okay. The nurses and doctors are amazing, they’re going to take good care of him. I’m sure it’s nothing serious…”

“You don’t know that!” Louis shouted, yanking at his own hair, needing to feel the pain. “He could be seriously sick, Harry, I’m such a shit dad, I didn’t even notice.”

“Neither of us did. It’s not because we’re bad parents, we’re just new at this. Lou, you need to breathe… deep breaths. Louis, I need you. Gabriel needs you… please help me get through this. I can’t do this alone.”

Louis took in a few breaths, exhaling shakily until he felt his heartbeat start to slow down, his blue eyes locked on Harry’s green. Harry gave him a wobbly smile and together, they stood and walked over to the crib where their baby was sleeping again. Louis noticed something looked a little off but he couldn’t quite put his finger on what.

Tears continued to fall as Louis reached down into the crib and stroked Gabriel’s warm cheek, praying that his son would be okay. He was all they had waited for for most of their marriage, and now he was here, Louis couldn’t fathom the idea of going on without him. It just wasn’t a possibility he ever wanted to entertain.

It felt like hours before the doctor appeared clutching some notes, smiling gently at the pair.

“I’m Dr. Walker, you’re Gabriel’s parents?”

Both Louis and Harry nodded, standing up to greet the doctor, shaking his hand. They stood aside again as the doctor took a quick look at Gabriel before he faced them again, a more serious expression on his face.

“Gentlemen, we’ve had the blood work back from your son. We’re concerned about his liver function, and possible jaundice. It’s quite common in newborns, especially premature babies, which your son was.”

“Oh god-”

“Please don’t panic,” the doctor reassured them, smiling slightly as Gabriel coughed. “Treatment for early jaundice like this is fairly simple. It’s a short course of phototherapy, which will be done here in the baby unit. Typically, it will take a day or two for the bilirubin levels to settle to a level we are happy with.”

“When do we start this?” Harry asked, nervously chewing at his thumb nail. 

“Now. We’ve got a phototherapy incubator ready, so we’d like to take you all down there and get Gabriel started. The sooner we begin treatment, the easier the jaundice is to treat. I assure you he won’t be in any sort of pain or discomfort throughout the treatment.”

Everything happened fairly quickly from then on. A nurse escorted them up to the special care baby unit, wheeling Gabriel in his crib alongside them. Louis tried to ignore the pitying stares that were thrown at them from other people wandering around, repeating to himself over and over that Gabriel was going to be fine, that this was just another obstacle they had to overcome together.

Harry must have sensed Louis’ fear again as he reached for his hand, clutching it tightly as they watched Gabriel get admitted, the doctors and nurses transferring him from his crib to an incubator, where they kept him warm. Louis hated it. It made Gabriel look like a sick baby, like there was something wrong, and he bit hard on his bottom lip, trying desperately not to cry.

The nurse approached Louis and Harry again, and they had bracelets placed onto their right wrists, allowing them entry to the unit, the barcode linking to a system which would tell anyone that they were Gabriel’s parents. Two stools were shifted over, and they sat down, peering in on their little son.

“We’ll begin the phototherapy in a few hours, we just want Gabriel to adjust to his new surroundings, to check he’s comfortable in the incubator before we begin. He’ll be allowed out for a thirty minute stretch for feeding and changing, but aside from that, he’ll remain under the phototherapy lights for the duration of the treatment.”

Two hours later, they sat beside their son who was by now under the blue lights, sound asleep. They’d put little foam goggles over his eyes to protect them, and thankfully, he didn’t have all manner of wires on him like some of the other sicker babies in the unit. If Louis was honest, Gabriel looked relaxed, and it was just his parents who were stressing out, staring at him.

“You think he’s going to be okay?” Louis asked, breaking the stretch of silence that had hung between them for too long. The doctors had assured them that now Gabriel was receiving the therapy, he’d be fine but Louis wanted to hear it again from Harry. 

“I do. I  _ know _ it. I trust the doctors, Lou. I mean… some of these babies look really poorly. They’re tiny, and they’ve got breathing machines and wires coming out of them everywhere… compared to them, Gabe is fine. They’re all fighters, but Gabriel is a Tomlinson. That means he’s strong, just like us.” Harry rested his head on Louis’ shoulder, their eyes still on their son. “He’s so strong, Lou.”

Louis just nodded, words escaping him at the moment. Harry was right. Gabriel was a Tomlinson and he was strong. All they could do now was wait.

**_A few days later_ **

“Pick up, pick up, pick up,” Louis muttered, waiting for his mum to pick up his call. He’d had to go out of the hospital to phone her but had left his hoodie by Gabriel’s incubator, too excited to share his news and make the calls to even think about it. “Mum!”

“Louis? Is everything okay?”

“Everything is brilliant!” Louis exclaimed, a smile erupting on his face. He caught the eye of a few passers by, unable to stop himself grinning at them too. “Harry and I just got the best news…”

“Don’t keep us waiting!” Phoebe shrieked. Louis laughed at the fact Jay had already put him on speaker phone, and he could even hear Ellie screeching away in the background, bashing what sounded like her toy drum. “Spill!”

“Gabriel is being discharged tonight! His bloods were fine this morning, and the doctors said his bilirubin levels are back to a normal level. Harry just fed him and he took nearly fifty ml, so he’s got his appetite back as well.”

“Oh darling, I’m so happy for you both!” Jay exclaimed, and Phoebe echoed the sentiment, cheering in the background. “Do you know what time you’ll be home?”

“About five, after rounds,” Louis said, bouncing on his toes. Neither he or Harry had slept much over the past few days, crying openly when they’d had to leave their son behind at the hospital and return home without him. It felt wrong, and Louis had walked into the nursery to find Harry sobbing on the floor, clutching one of Gabriel’s blankets to his body. It had been a hard time, and Louis was just grateful the end was in sight.

“I’ll bring you some food round then,” Jay said, and Louis could already hear pans moving in the background. He wasn’t surprised, and knew Harry would be grateful for a home cooked meal later that day. He finished up the call and made another to Anne, promising her that she could visit the next day. They hadn’t been allowed to visit, only parents allowed in the baby unit, so both sets of grandparents were eager to see their grandson.

They only left Gabriel’s side that day to nip up to the canteen to grab something for lunch, and Louis returned to feed Gabriel, watching as he drank every single drop, certainly back to himself. The colic hadn’t completely disappeared, but compared to everything else they were going through at the moment, it was something they could handle together. The nurses had also advised changing Gabriel’s milk to something thicker for hungrier babies, so Harry had text Anne, asking her to grab a tin and to drop it off for them, which she easily agreed to.

Harry had brought an outfit especially for bringing Gabriel home, and Louis had stood to the side, smiling as Harry had dressed him up, Gabriel wearing clothes for the first time since he was admitted days ago. They thanked all the doctors and nurses individually before Louis finally sat Gabriel in his car seat, bundling blankets around to ward off the cold November chill. They left the baby unit together, holding hands with Gabriel in Louis’ free hand, ready to get home and back to their lives.

Walking back in through the front door was emotional, a definite homecoming of sorts. There was a casserole on the hob from Jay, along with a beautiful bunch of flowers, a box of chocolates and a tiny grey elephant that had a card propped up in front of it with ‘Welcome home, Gabriel! See you soon, love Ellie’ written on it. Gabriel had napped in his bouncy baby chair while they’d eaten at the table, taking the box of chocolates up to bed with them.

Harry fed Gabriel in bed, his little body against Harry’s bare chest. Louis couldn’t resist taking a few photos of the two, Harry giving the camera a happy smile, looking entirely content. Louis took his son to burp him, and it seemed the new milk had made a difference as they only had twenty minutes of crying before Louis put him down, the baby falling fast asleep in no time.

“Lou? Can we talk for a minute?”

Louis looked over from where he was tucking Gabriel’s blankets around him and nodded, creeping back to bed. He pulled the covers over them both and snuggled into Harry’s side, waiting for his husband to speak.

“I just… I wanted to talk about how upset you got when Gabriel was taken into hospital,” Harry began, sounding a little nervous. “I didn’t expect you to break down like that, love, I’m just… I’m worried about you. You’re so strong for both of us, and I want to be there for you now.”

Louis paused for a moment, sighing. He had a feeling this would happen. Harry was the best husband, and he knew he was only doing this because he cared, but still, Louis hated talking about his feelings. He shrugged, closing his eyes.

“Dunno. It’s fine, just had a wobble.”

“Don’t do that. Don’t dismiss your feelings. Talk to me. Tell me what was going on.”

“I’m scared, Harry. I was utterly fucking terrified of losing him.”

“Oh Lou…”

“I’ve never felt so scared,” Louis confessed, tears filling his eyes as his emotions came flooding back, remembering how it had felt in that moment, not knowing if Gabriel was going to be okay or not. “I think I spent so long being strong for both of you that it just broke me, the thought of something going wrong. Even when you were giving birth and Gabe was premature I didn’t think of the bad things, only that he was coming into our lives. But seeing the doctors concerned…”

“I should have-”

“Honestly, Haz, there was nothing you could have done. It was all on me, building everything up, keeping it inside. Fear just overtook me in that moment. But I’m okay now. I am. He’s home, and we’re a family again. Everything’s going to be good from now on.”

“It sure is,” Harry agreed, brushing his lips against Louis’ for a moment. The kiss they shared was just full of love, almost reassuring Louis that Harry was there, that their love was unbreakable no matter what. “We get to enjoy him now, okay? Let’s go out tomorrow, all three of us, get some fresh air. We can walk him through the park, maybe grab a tea?”

Louis smiled and tucked himself into Harry’s body, making himself smaller than normal. Usually, he was the one holding Harry, offering him comfort but right now, he was seeking that from his husband, who of course gave it easily. “Sounds perfect. I love the sound of that. I can’t believe I have to go back to work in a week. It sucks.”

“It does. But we’ll just make the most of family time, okay? Don’t get stressed out. Our mums are on hand if I need help, and you know I’ll be annoying you all day with constant photos and videos of us two.”

Louis knew that much was true, and he laughed, nodding gently. “Good. I want that to happen. I’m going to bore everyone in the office with photos. I want to print that one out of you two I took earlier as well, put it on my desk so I don’t have to miss you too much.”

“Soppy git,” Harry teased. They both listened as Gabriel sneezed in his sleep, his blankets rustling slightly until he stopped moving. Louis could just imagine how cute his son looked, but he couldn’t help himself from getting up to check on him, glad he did when he saw the blankets had already been tugged down to near Gabriel’s legs. “Is he alright?”

“Yep, just kicked off his blankets again. Maybe we should try those sleeping bag thingies Pheebs gave us tomorrow night?”

“Good idea. Come back to bed, Lou. He’ll be fine.”

“I know he will. I just… I love that he’s back home with us. Where he belongs.” Louis kissed his fingers and pressed them to Gabriel’s cheek before he shivered and ran back to the bed, trying to get warm. “I love you. Both of you. I still can’t quite believe we’re this lucky.”

“Well, believe it,” Harry said, his voice a little hoarse with sleep now. “Get some sleep, babe. He’ll have us up in a couple of hours for a bottle. Cuddle me, Tomlinson.”

With his family surrounding him, Louis easily fell into sleep, not at all bothered he’d be up for a bit of quiet time with his son while he fed him. It was moments like this that made his life so perfect, and Louis wasn’t about to take a second of it for granted, not ever again.

*****

It was a few days later the newly-grown Tomlinson family felt like going out together. They’d spent a few days at home together, making the most of having some time to themselves, but soon, Harry had got cabin fever, declaring he needed to get some fresh air before he completely lost his mind. Louis had agreed, and they’d spent a good while working out the new pushchair they’d yet to put to good use until finally, they were ready.

“Oh, he looks too small in here,” Harry whined as he carefully nestled their little boy into the carrycot part of his pushchair, warmly wrapped up in a fleece snowsuit, a woollen beanie Anne had knitted, and what appeared to be several thousand layers of blankets. Louis was a little concerned his son might overheat, but he daren’t voice as much to Harry. He’d just wait and covertly pull one back as they walked. “There we go, all safe and sound.”

“You’re such a good dad,” Louis said, pecking his husband's lips before Harry turned back to the car, grabbing the nappy bag he’d packed and slipping it over the handle of the pushchair. “You want to push?”

“If you don’t mind?” Harry asked shyly, grinning more widely when Louis nodded, slipping the car keys into the pocket of his coat. “Didn’t know it was going to be so cold today.”

“Autumn now,” Louis remarked as they started their walk down the path through the local beauty spot. It was a good twenty minute drive away, but it was always one of their go-to spots when they wanted a brisk walk in the fresh air. Louis allowed his mind to drift, thinking of the times in the future they’d bring Gabriel here in the future, and the fun adventures they were going to get up to together. “Do you feel better for getting out of the house?”

Harry nodded, both handles gripping the black handlebar carefully, as if he was scared it was somehow going to roll away from him. Louis noticed his husband’s eyes were fixated on their sleeping baby, and he smiled to himself at what an attentive father Harry already was. “Yeah. I loved it being just us for a few days, but I just miss a bit of fresh air, seeing other people, you know? Plus, I think it’s good for Gabriel to be outside too. His little lungs need some proper British air in them.”

Silence fell as they walked quietly, the motion of the pushchair keeping Gabriel in a deep sleep. It was peaceful out, early enough that only the die-hard walkers were out and about, which meant there was plenty of room for Louis to walk beside Harry and their son, keeping watch of the two most precious people in his life. 

“I wish I didn’t have to go back to work,” Louis mused after a while, all too aware his paternity leave was coming to an end far sooner than he’d like. 

“Liar,” Harry laughed, nudging Louis’ side gently, almost making him stumble. “Oops, sorry.”

“I’m not a liar! I’d love to stay at home!” Louis said, eager to defend himself. “I mean, I love my job, you know I do. But I’m pretty sure all I’m going to think about when I’m there is you two. I’m going to rely on you to keep me up to date with everything.”

“As if I’m going to do anything but spam your phone with photos of this gorgeous face,” Harry teased, peering over to Gabriel, who was still dozing. “I’m, um, a bit nervous, though. Of maybe fucking up when you’re gone. Like, what if I don’t have time to do housework because he’s crying, or dinner-”

“Harry.” Louis tugged Harry’s arm, pulling him to a stop, wishing he could wipe away the worry etched on his face. “You think I care about coming home to a clean house, or dinner on the table? I really don’t. All I’m gonna want is to come back to you two. And if I have to make dinner, so be it. Don’t put pressure on yourself, alright?”

Harry nodded, and let go of the pushchair long enough to lean in and hug Louis tightly. Louis could feel the tension seep out of his body, and sometimes, he just wished his husband wouldn’t worry himself about things that, in the grand scheme of things, didn’t matter.

“See, this is what happens when I’m cooped up. I think too much,” Harry stated as they started walking again, Louis slipping in behind Harry when a cyclist flew past them. “Mum’s coming over for tea when you go back, and Phoebe’s said she’ll come and hang out with us. She said it’ll do Ellie and Gabe good to get to know each other.”

“Aww, daddy daycare,” Louis teased, making Harry poke his tongue out at him. “And Lottie’s about as well, and my Mum. You’ve got loads of people around, love. Let them help out if you need it. Nothing to be ashamed of if you have to ask them. You know your Mum will be more than happy to steal Gabe for a few hours if you have stuff to do anyway.”

Harry nodded knowingly. They both looked over the pushchair when Gabriel started to whimper, and Harry sighed, knowing that meant his son was hungry already.

“He only fed just before we left,” Harry moaned as Louis made quick work of lifting the baby out of his confines and into his arm. He tugged the little royal blue hat down a little further before he sat on a nearby bench, trying to jiggle Gabriel a little to quieten him down while Harry sorted out a bottle, shushing him gently. “He’s got the Tomlinson appetite.”

“Damn right,” Louis grinned proudly, kissing Gabriel’s full little lips for a brief second. “Alright, love, it’s coming.”

Harry handed over the bottle to Louis instead of feeling the baby himself, which Louis felt ridiculously grateful for. He was going to miss feeding time when he went back to work full time, and it was almost as if Harry was conscious of that because he made sure to let Louis feed Gabriel as much as he wanted. Gabriel sucked hungrily, far happier since they’d changed to the hungrier baby milk the nurses had suggested.

“Oi, give us a smile,” Harry said softly, and Louis looked up, unsurprised to see Harry with his iPhone out, aimed at the pair. He smiled, and watched as Harry changed position a few times, making sure he had enough pictures. “And… me in it, too.” He settled next to Louis and held his phone at arms length, taking a selfie.

“Would you like me to take a family photo?” A young runner asked, panting as she came to a stop in front of them. “I don’t mind.”

“Oh, yes please,” Harry grinned, handing over his phone without a second’s hesitation. “Come on, Lou, big smiles!”

Louis just laughed and turned to look at his husband, unsurprised to see Harry’s cheeks were rosy and his dimples were deeply carved in his cheeks.

“Your baby is gorgeous… how old?” she asked as she handed Harry back his phone, letting him flick through the photos to check them. 

“Uh, 15 days,” Louis said, smiling down at his son. “His name’s Gabriel.”

“The photos are beautiful, thank you,” Harry chimed in, smiling up at the woman as she adjusted her ponytail.

“You’re welcome, and congratulations,” she called as she took off at a brisk pace, making Louis feel tired just looking at her. 

“I love this one,” Harry said as Louis manoeuvered Gabriel into a burping position, his hand feeling huge on his son’s tiny back. “I love how you’re looking at me.”

Louis had to agree that it was a beautiful photo. He was beaming at Harry with complete love in his eyes, and the bottle had slipped from Gabriel’s lips, giving an unobstructed view of their son’s face. It was a beautiful family photo, one to treasure.

“Definitely one for the mantelpiece.”

“Yep, and the baby book,” Harry said, referencing the book he’d been given by Phoebe and was now religiously filling in with photos as often as he could, documenting everything he could of their son’s life. “Give him here. Papa wants a cuddle.”

Louis stood and placed Gabriel into Harry’s arms, pleased he seemed to have winded easily for once. He looked down at his husband and smiled, leaning in to kiss his lips gently, a small kiss that held so much weight and love behind it.

“You make me so happy y’know. And I love you, for everything you are, and for everything you do for me.”

Harry’s eyes became a little misty then, and he gave Louis a wobbly smile, reaching out his free hand for his husband’s.

“I love you too. No one else I’d rather share this life with, Lou.”

“Only you,” Louis grinned back, pretty sure he was the luckiest man in the world right now... of all time, in fact.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue Monday, eek!!


	19. Louis & Harry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! The epilogue is here!
> 
> I really hope you enjoy this final little peek into the lives of Harry, Louis and Gabriel. I got quite emotional writing this, so I hope that comes across when you're reading!
> 
> I must thank L and C, my amazing betas one more time, because without them, this would have been such a mess. I appreciate them more than they know.
> 
> Enjoy, and let me know in the comments one more time what you thought!! Thank you so much! xxxx

**TWO YEARS LATER**

_ Louis _

There was a loud thump from upstairs, and Louis just rolled his eyes, hurrying to the stairs. He almost tripped over one of Gabriel’s toy trains so he grabbed it and sprinted upstairs, stopping outside the room that had belonged to their son for almost two years now.

“What’s all the noise, little man?” Louis asked, walking into the bombsite that was their son’s bedroom. His name was stenciled on one wall and painted beautifully by Louis, and he had a shelving unit stuffed full with fabric boxes of toys, mainly passed on from Liam and Niall’s children, all of them keen not to keep throwing perfect usable toys away. Now, though, it looked like Gabriel had tipped out the contents of most of them on the floor, searching for something. “What are you looking for?”

“Spade,” Gabriel’s little voice said as he crawled under the bed. “Red.”

“Your red spade? For the beach tomorrow? I’ll help you look, love.”

They’d been planning their day trip to the beach for a week now, and Gabriel had got more and more excited as it had got closer. His sandals had been sat by the door waiting, joined later by a bucket, and now apparently his spade needed to be added to the mix as well.

Harry had been working this week, putting together an anniversary issue of the magazine with the new co-editor Liam, so Louis had taken a week’s holiday to spend with Gabriel. They’d both set aside time to have a day trip to Blackpool, though, and neither of them could wait. They’d booked a small seafront hotel, nothing too fancy but enough that they could feel they were having a proper break. 

“Daddy find,” Gabriel insisted as Louis peered into the bottom of his toy chest, not seeing the spade anywhere.

“If we can’t, love, Papa and I can buy you a new one at the beach. Not the end of the world.”

Gabriel shifted backwards on his belly, giving Louis a serious look for a moment. “No. My spade please.”

Louis smiled at his use of manners, something Harry had been using in front of their son from birth, keen Gabriel would pick them up for when he started speaking. He had, and now they got cooes and lovely comments from wherever they went as Gabriel smiled and greeted people, thanking anyone who helped him out with a gorgeous grin, curly hair often falling into his blue eyes. 

It had turned out that Gabriel was a perfect mix of the couple. He’d inherited Harry’s quiet nature and his dark curls, and loved curling up with his Papa and a book before bedtime, sharing stories and chatting about their day. He’d gotten Louis’ piercing blue eyes and love of sport, the pair often found in the garden with a ball as long as the weather was nice. He was a family boy, much like his dads, and was incredibly close to both of his nannies, much to Louis and Harry’s delight.

The front door slammed shut then and Gabriel gasped, his little eyes lighting up as he knew exactly what that meant. Louis went to speak but-

“PAPA! HI!”

There were fast footsteps on the stairs and soon, Harry stood in the doorway, crouching down as their son charged at him, wrapping his arms tightly around Harry’s neck. Gabriel had a habit of hugging them so tightly they sometimes struggled to breathe, but they knew it was his way of showing his love for them, so let it go while he was small enough to get away with it.

“Hello, my little love,” Harry said, giving Gabriel a quick kiss, watching as Louis got back to his feet. “And hello to you too, love.”

They kissed briefly, open with their affections for each other in front of Gabriel. They were keen he grew up knowing his parents loved each other very much, and being affectionate was more than welcome. Gabriel’s hand rested on Louis’ stubbly cheek, Harry’s other arm encompassing Louis’ waist, bringing him into the hug as well. 

“Had a good day?”

“Work hard, Papa?”

“I did, love,” Harry confirmed, letting a wriggly Gabriel down onto the floor, where he resumed his search for his precious spade, shifting everything he owned around the room again. “How about you two? Have you had fun?”

Louis nodded, wrapping an arm around the curve of Harry’s waist. Since Harry had turned forty a few months ago, he’d softened in ways Louis absolutely loved, and the gentle swells at Harry’s hips were one thing Louis really struggled to keep his hands away from, no matter where they were.

“Louis…” Harry muttered, trying to wriggle away from Louis’ roaming hands, to no avail. “God, you’re terrible…”

“Can’t help loving my husband,” Louis whispered, quickly connecting their lips as Gabriel’s bum wiggled in the air, the little lad now on his hands and knees and peering under his chest of drawers. “But yeah, we had a good day. It’s nice having a bit of time off to spend with him.”

“GOT IT!” Gabriel shrieked, holding his red plastic spade aloft in victory, the widest smile on his face. He’d also inherited Harry’s dimples as well as his curls, and Louis’ heart melted as their son ran towards them, hugging Harry’s leg then Louis’. “Beach now?”

“Not now, baby,” Louis smiled, trying not to laugh as Gabriel began to pout, hoping it would work magic on his parents, no doubt. “We have to have dinner, then go to sleep…”

“Then beach?”

“Yep,” Harry grinned, hoisting Gabriel and his spade onto his hip, kissing his little pink cheek. “But first… pizza!”

Later that night, they’d finally persuaded Gabriel to bed after an hour of over-excited babble and three stories, leaving Harry with a sore throat, and Louis mopping up the muddles from the bathroom floor. Harry was just glad he’d packed the night before as they’d collapsed into bed, already dreading the long drive with their young son. Gabriel didn’t like sitting still at the best of times, so ninety minutes trapped in a car wasn’t exactly a dream come true for any of them.

“You think he’s going to like the beach?” Harry mumbled against Louis’ bare chest, his fingertips tickling up and down Louis’ side. “I can’t wait to see his face.”

“I think he’ll love it,” Louis whispered back, struggling to keep his eyes open. “Gonna be great to see him playing in the sand, and on the rides and stuff…”

“Yep. I’m glad we can do this. For our family, I mean. Making memories, and just having fun. I still want to save up and try and get away next year, maybe go back to Majorca?”

Louis smiled at the memories of the last time they’d visited the Spanish island, back when Gabriel was still in Harry’s belly, their final hurrah as a couple. “I’d love that. We could show him where we went before. Maybe get a little place with a pool so we can teach him how to swim a bit more?”

There was silence in reply to his comment, so Louis angled his head so he could see his husband, who had apparently fallen asleep mid-conversation, wiped out after a busy day at work and then wrangling their son into bed. 

“G’night, love,” Louis smiled, kissing the side of Harry’s head and pulling the covers up so only their heads were sticking above them. “Love you.”

*****

“SEA!”

“Yeah, it’s the sea,” Louis smiled, gripping Gabriel’s hand a little tighter in case he decided to make a beeline for the edge of the water. “It’s so big and blue, isn’t it?! You going to go in later?”

He was surprised when Gabriel shook his head and slipped his hand out of Louis’, running to Harry and hiding his face against Harry’s leg. The couple looked at each other a bit perplexed. Gabriel’s moods were always a little up and down but this wasn’t at all what they’d expected his reaction to be.

Louis walked over and both of them crouched down, Harry struggling since Gabriel was still grabbing hold of him in an attempt to bury his face further into Harry’s body, wherever he could reach. Louis reached out and rubbed a hand on his son’s t-shirt covered back, trying to soothe him.

“Hey, Gabe,” he started, keeping his voice soft, ignoring the bustle of everyone walking around them where they’d stopped on the promenade, just above the beach. “You don’t have to go in the sea, okay? Papa and I will only do what you want. But can I ask… why don’t you want to swim?”

Gabriel whimpered for a moment, and Harry gently encouraged him to pull back, stroking his curls back as the little boy bit his lip, still clutching his spade. “So big.”

“It is,” Harry agreed, validating Gabriel’s fear before he began to help dispel it. “But Daddy and I would hold onto you so tightly. You could maybe just get your toes wet, see if you like it? But only if you want, okay?”

“‘Kay Papa,” Gabriel muttered, finally standing up and peering back out over the beach, which was rapidly filling up with other families keen to make the most of the late summer day. “Castle?”

“Let’s go!” Louis said, making his son laugh as he did a funny run away from the pair, already hearing Gabriel’s trainers slapping on the pavement behind them. The minute he hit the sand, Gabriel bent down and ran his fingers through it, marvelling over how warm and soft it was as Harry and Louis set out their blankets, making a small space for themselves amongst everyone else. “You want your bucket, love?”

“Yes!”

“Yes please,” Harry corrected, always a stickler for manners. “Make sure you don’t knock it over, Papa wants to take a picture of you with your first sandcastle!”

The morning at the beach flew by. Louis had held a wriggly Gabriel as Harry had coated him from head to toe in suncream, determined his pale skinned son wasn’t going to burn at all, while Louis just whipped off his top, parading himself around in just his trunks, not caring who was looking. Harry was a bit more shy about his body, still conscious of the stretch marks he had from pregnancy. Louis had told him to do what made him comfortable, so he’d stayed in his tank top (Louis’ tank top, if they were both honest), happily digging next to Gabriel who was wearing the sweetest red swim shorts himself, over a swim nappy so they didn’t need to worry about toilets all day.

Harry had packed them a picnic lunch, and they all sat cross-legged eating their sandwiches as the sun shone down on them, warming their skin. Gabriel migrated over to Louis’ lap, spilling cheese onto his bare legs, but Louis didn’t mind. Time with his family was precious, and Louis was relishing every second of free time they all had.

It was mid-afternoon by the time Gabriel worked up the courage to go in the sea. He’d been excited as he stayed back with Harry and watched Louis go to the shore and fill up his bucket with water to wet the sand. He’d turned to wave at his husband and son, his heart filling with complete at the sight of them. They’d all knelt on the sand and helped Gabriel to wet the sand so it would stick, making a circle of castles around the little boy.

“Magic tap!” Harry said as Gabriel whacked the underside of the bucket with his spade, shrieking in delight when Louis pulled it off, revealing another perfect castle. Gabriel grinned up at them both, so proud of himself. “Clever boy!”

He stood thoughtfully for a moment, and dropped his bucket into the sand, looking out of the sea for a second. Louis stayed quiet, letting Gabriel work through whatever it was in his mind.

“Daddy?”

“Yes, love?” Louis asked, holding Gabriel’s hand as he stepped between the castles, plopping down onto his bottom next to Harry’s feet, resting a tiny hand on Harry’s tattooed ankle. 

“Wanna go sea.”

Louis and Harry met eyes for a moment, nodding quickly at each other.

“Sure,” Louis said. “Do you want Papa to come too?”

Gabriel just nodded, and Louis and Harry got to their feet, taking each of Gabriel’s hands and beginning the slow walk down to the sea and away from their things. Louis was pleased Harry had wrapped up their phones in a few of Gabriel’s spare nappies, meaning nobody would think to look in there while their things were unattended. Gabriel started to slow down as they got closer, and he tugged on Harry’s hand.

“Want me to carry you, baby?”

Gabriel nodded and Harry picked him up with ease, setting him on his hip. Louis went slightly ahead, up to the water in his ankles, shivering slightly at how cool it was despite the sunny day. He bent down to let the water wash over his hands, showing Gabriel it was nothing to be scared of.

“Let’s go see Daddy, okay?” Harry said, and took a few tentative steps towards the water, where Louis was standing with his arms open, grinning widely. “And… in we go.”

Gabriel’s death grip on Harry’s neck was almost amusing to watch, so Louis wasted no time in extracting his son from Harry’s arms, holding him against his own chest now. “See? It’s fun in the water, we’re all safe! You want to feel it?”

“NO!” Gabriel shouted, and Louis nodded quickly, holding his son closer. “No, Daddy.”

“Okay, love, let’s just stand here for a bit. Does that sound alright?”

They chatted and watched as other children paddled, and Louis could sense Gabriel was getting more curious. Eventually, Louis crouched down and let Gabriel’s fingertips touch the water, making his son shriek in delight. Gabriel got brave then and let Louis dip his toes in before they walked back to the sand, watching the waves wash in and out.

“You want to put your feet in?” Harry asked softly, neither wanting to push Gabriel but they were keen he experience as much of the beach as he could. “We’ll hold your hands.”

It was quiet for a moment, but Gabriel nodded slowly. Together, hand in hand, the three Tomlinsons left footprints in the wet sand as they headed to the water, and the smile on Gabriel’s face was worth everything Louis owned when the first wave splashed over his little feet, splashing slightly up to his knees.

“COLD!”

It seemed that was all Gabriel needed to enjoy the sea. He clutched Louis and Harry’s hands for a while until he got brave enough to let go of Louis’, kicking water at him while Harry laughed along, letting his son soak his husband. Before long, Gabriel was wet from head to toe, but the little boy was so happy, neither man had the heart to stop him.

“I cold,” Gabriel soon said, and they all hurried back up to their beach bags, wrapping Gabe in one of the beach towels Harry had packed. “Fank you, Papa.”

“You’re welcome. Now who fancies an ice cream?”

Harry went off, leaving Louis and Gabriel alone on the blanket, now reading a book together. Gabriel’s thumb was in his mouth, and Louis knew his son was getting tired, probably in need of a nap soon. Their day at the beach was almost up, and when Harry returned with their ice creams, Gabriel only just managed to eat his before he fell asleep, curled up on the blanket between his parents.

“You think he liked it here?” Harry asked as he started to pack things away into their large bag, pleased the parasol Louis had borrowed for a departing family was shielding his sleeping son from the worst of the hot sun. “I’m glad he went in the sea in the end.”

“I think so,” Louis said, shaking out a few towels, trying to get rid of the worst of the sand. “He’s only little. I bet if we do it again this time next year, he’ll be much more confident. But this was good. I’ve had a great day with both of you.” He leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to Harry's lips. “I managed to book that restaurant for tonight as well. They’ve got a nice kids meal for Gabe.”

Harry smiled and watched as Louis dressed their sleepy boy, stripping his wet things from him and popping on a fresh nappy along with some soft shorts and a t-shirt, his damp curls still sticking to his forehead. They stayed there until Gabriel woke up, letting him say goodbye to his sandcastles and the beach before they headed back to find their hotel, needing to get clean before dinner.

Harry was in the shower, and Louis knew it was time to let Gabriel in on his secret. They’d bathed him together first, so they could shower alone afterwards, and now he was fixated on Paw Patrol, which Louis had put on the iPad they’d brought with them for emergencies.

“Hey, love, can I show you something?” Louis asked, and Gabriel tore his eyes away from the screen long enough to nod, giving Louis a dimpled smile. “Come here, then. And you mustn’t tell Papa. It’s a Daddy and Gabe secret, okay?”

“Ssshhhh,” Gabriel giggled, holding his finger up to his lips to show he understood. “Show Gabe!”

Louis got up off the bed and wandered over to his jacket, fishing around in the pocket to produce the organza bag he’d slipped inside before they’d left home early that morning. He sat back down, patting the bed to him before Gabriel crawled over and into his lap.

“This is for Papa from me.” He tipped the bag up and poured the jewellery into his palm, revealing it to his son. “I’m going to ask Papa to marry Daddy again, Gabriel. I love him very much, and we’d love to get married again with you there with us. It’s a special anniversary this year. Twenty years!”

“Big time,” Gabe agreed, although Louis knew he really didn’t understand what his Daddy was on about. He reached out a little finger, touching the ring before he picked it up, bringing it close to his own face. “Pretty.”

“You think Papa will like it?” 

Gabriel nodded. “I help?”

“Ummmm,” Louis pondered, putting the platinum ring back into the bag as he heard the shower shutting off, quickly stowing it away again. “Yeah, maybe. But you must keep it quiet, okay?”

Gabriel hugged Louis tightly and kissed his cheek before he crawled back into his lap again, thumb back between his lips. Harry soon emerged from the bathroom in his boxers, smiling at the sight of his boys curled up together on their bed, Gabriel’s bed untouched next to theirs. Louis had already installed the bed guard they’d brought with them, and his son’s favourite teddies were sat on the pillow, making it inviting for him for later on.

Harry rubbed at his hair with the towel in his hand before he turned to their bag, fishing out a smart polo shirt and shorts for the meal. Louis’ eyes stayed fixed on his husband as he dressed himself, stealing a squirt of Harry’s cologne before they decided they were ready to go. Louis pretended to have forgotten his phone when they left, jogging back to the room to snatch the ring and slip it into the pocket of his shorts before he joined his husband and son outside, taking the handles from Harry. Gabriel was tired, so they decided to take the pushchair to the beachfront restaurant, knowing he’d probably fall asleep on the way home.

“Table for Tomlinson, I booked earlier,” Louis said to the woman greeting the patrons. She consulted her book and nodded, leading the three to a table, a highchair already in place for Gabriel. “Thanks so much.” Louis lifted his son into his chair, smiling as the waitress set down a colouring sheet that Gabriel was clearly going to ruin with the pot of crayons she handed over as well, but he seemed happy enough. “Table alright, love?”

“Perfect,” Harry smiled, sliding into his seat that Louis helped push under the table, kissing his husband before he took his own seat, taking the menu with a small smile. “Oh, this is lovely, isn’t it, Gabe?”

Their son just ignored them, intent on making the entirety of his colouring sheet bright blue, little tongue stuck out in concentration. Harry reached into the rucksack he’d packed and set Gabriel’s water bottle on the table and turned his attention back to the menu, both men quiet as they made a decision.

“I love the sound of the lamb shank,” Louis said softly, trying to keep an eye on Gabriel as his mouth practically watered at the sound of the gorgeous dishes on offer. “What about you, Haz?”

“Uh…” Harry’s eyes flitted around the menu before he looked up, a dopey smile on his face as his eyes settled on Louis’. “The prawn curry sounds amazing, actually.”

“Curry!” Gabriel shrieked, banging a little fist on the table, staring at his parents. “I have?”

“Hmmm, not on your menu, love,” Louis said regretfully, wondering what else they could tempt their son with. “How about… macaroni cheese?”

Gabriel’s eyes lit up just as Louis knew they would, macaroni cheese being his favourite dinner in the whole world. “Yes! Maccy cheeeeeeese,” the little boy sang rather loudly, making a few nearby diners turn and smile at the family. He frowned for a moment, leaning wildly forwards and grabbing Harry’s hand. “Papa got ring.”

Louis’ heart skipped a beat in his chest but thankfully Harry didn’t seem to think much of it as Gabriel’s little fingers poked and prodded at the wedding band Louis had put there almost twenty years ago now.

“Yes, love, I wear Daddy’s ring because we’re married. Lou, did you want to share a bottle of wine tonight? A red would be good.”

Louis easily agreed and when the waitress came back, they all placed their orders, chatting quietly when they were left alone. Louis and Harry held hands across the table while Gabriel amused himself with the free crayons, his dark curls almost shining in the lights of the restaurant. Just before their meals came, Harry took Gabriel to the bathroom to change his nappy, the boy cosying into his papa’s neck, already a little tired.

With his heart beating nervously, Louis reached into his pocket and touched the ring that was buried in his pocket, reassuring himself it was there. Harry and Gabriel returned just as the waitress placed their food down, and Louis quickly chopped up Gabriel’s food so it could cool down, keeping the plate far enough away so his son wouldn’t burn himself.

“Oh my god, that smells so good,” Harry said, practically drooling over his meal as the curry scent started to permeate the entire table area. “But god, those lamb shanks look amazing as well, Lou.”

“You can have one,” Louis chuckled, passing Gabriel his water bottle. “He’s tired, isn’t he?”

Harry agreed, and they took it in turns to feed Gabriel between eating their own meals. Louis was grateful Harry had picked something he could pretty much eat with just one hand, since Gabriel was starving and gobbling food faster than Louis could carve up his own food to eat between mouthfuls. 

“Papa marry Daddy?”

Louis blinked again, hoping his cheeks didn’t feel as hot as he felt they were, but it seemed Harry was more bemused by his son than suspicious in any way. He stared down at his nearly empty plate, waiting for Harry to say something more.

“Papa married Daddy a long, long time ago, lovely,” Harry said, a smile evident in his voice as he helped push another spoon of macaroni cheese into his son’s mouth. “That’s why we wear our rings. I’ve shown you pictures at home, remember?”

Gabriel nodded, and swallowed before he said more. “No. Daddy got ring.”

Louis let out a nervous chuckle, pushing a piece of lamb around his plate. “I do, love, you’re right. Right here.” He held up his left hand, wiggling his ring finger for a moment. “Clever boy.”

Silence fell once more as they ate until-

“Daddy ask now?”

Harry frowned, clearly sensing something was up. He wiped Gabriel’s mouth before he looked intently at him, green eyes boring into the little boy. “Daddy ask what, Gabe?”

“Marry.”

Louis’ leg was jiggling under the table now, the ring almost burning a hole in his pocket.

“Gabriel-”

“No, Lou,” Harry said, a small smirk on his face. Louis knew he’d worked it out, but it somehow didn’t detract from the moment at all. “You have something to ask me?”

Louis sighed in resignation, knowing his surprise. He quickly stood up from the table and lifted Gabriel from his high chair, holding his hand as he guided him back to Louis’ seat, pulling him onto his lap.

“Now,” he whispered, watching as out of the corner of his eye, he saw Harry start to finish off his meal, “you’re going to help Daddy now, okay?” Gabriel nodded, his little eyes shining as he waited for more instructions. Louis reached into his pocket and lifted out the ring, keeping it hidden in his palm. “We’re going to walk over to Papa and give him the ring. Can you help Daddy with that bit?”

He let Gabriel slide off his lap, little sandal clad feet hitting the floor as he waited for Louis. Louis’ eyes met Harry's for a moment, a look of love passing between them as Louis started walking over slowly, his son’s hand in one hand, the ring in the other.

“Harry,” he began, his heart racing even though he knew Harry would say yes, that this was a certainty. He also felt other eyes in the room lock on him as he sank to one knee, Gabriel frantically trying to copy his dad next to him. Louis steadied him as he decided to just kneel on both knees, giving Harry a cheesy grin. “We have a very important question to ask you.”

Gabriel looked up at Louis then, and he just nodded, passing the ring between them until Gabriel held it in his hand, blinking up at his Papa. Harry had tears shining in his eyes now, unashamed as always of his emotions.

“Marry Daddy ‘gain?”

Harry nodded, tears tumbling down his cheeks as he finally spoke, helping Gabriel to his feet as the little boy thrust the ring forwards. “Yes, of course I will. Oh, love, that’s a beautiful ring… help Papa put it on?”

Rather than a gentle gesture, Gabriel just rammed the ring over Harry’s knuckles, pushing it into place next to his wedding band, the shiny new metal a contrast to the marked older one that Louis knew he would never take off. “Pretty.”

“It is. Louis…”

Louis finally got to his feet, ignoring how his knees cracked as he stood, rubbing his sore lower back. “You’ll marry me again, then?”

“Always,” Harry confirmed, sealing the deal with a kiss, keeping it chaste for their public setting. Louis could hear applause all around them now, and he pulled away, clutching Harry’s hand as they smiled at the people clapping for them, everyone smiling fondly. “Oh god, they’re all looking… yes, love?”

They both looked down at Gabriel, who was by now desperately patting Harry’s hip, trying to get his attention. He blinked a few times before he spoke, his little face looking terribly unsure for a moment.

“I marry you?”

“Oh, darling,” Harry cooed, quickly falling to his knees and scooping his son against his chest. “I’m your Papa, so we can’t get married. But we’re family forever and ever and ever, you, me and Daddy. Is that okay?”

Gabriel pondered that for a moment before he nodded, a small smile appearing on his pink lips. “Yeah. I come?”

“To the wedding?” Louis asked, and Gabriel nodded again, a couple of his curls falling down his forehead and towards his eyes. Louis scooped them up, much as he had done with Harry’s for all these years, smiling at the too familiar gesture. “Of course! You’re my best man!”

“I the best!” Gabriel agreed, pointing to himself, causing a titter of laughter to erupt in the restaurant. “I hungry now. Ice cream please.”

Now that the attention was dying down, they all took their seats back at the table. Louis dragged Gabriel’s high chair closer to him, catching Harry admiring his new ring out of the corner of his eye. Louis smiled to himself as he finished off his dinner, Gabriel more picking at the pasta left in his bowl, clearly full up despite his begging for ice cream.

It was a few hours later that Louis and Harry were cosied up in the shower together, Gabriel sound asleep in his own bed, Harry laying the spare pillows along the bedside on the floor just in case he was somehow able to roll over the top of his bed guard and tumble to the floor. 

“Can’t believe you proposed to me again,” Harry muttered as the water rained down over them, their bare flesh pressed together. Louis shivered as Harry captured his lips in another kiss, his tongue dipping quickly into Louis’ mouth. “Making me your husband once wasn’t enough, hmm?”

“Never enough,” Louis panted out as Harry’s hand slid down his wet chest, flicking his nipples quickly. “Always want you by my side… love you.”

“Made me yours in front of everyone,” Harry said, his voice low and husky, hands skimming down Louis’ sides now, fingertips dancing across Louis’ skin. “I love you so much.”

“Show me,” Louis insisted, biting back a moan as Harry’s fingers encircled his length, tugging slowly but surely, teasing in the best way. Their kisses were messy now, lips brushing lips, tongues licking and darting everywhere but Louis was loving every second of it. “Fuck… you feel so good…”

Harry kept working his hand over Louis’ dick as his lips started to attack Louis’ neck, sucking and nipping at it. Louis absent mindedly for a moment thought about Gabriel possibly seeing the marks in the morning but in the moment, he couldn’t bring himself to tell Harry to stop, lost entirely in the pleasure.

“Taste so good…”

“Mmm hmm, don’t stop,” Louis pleaded, tilting his head back against the cool tiles on the wall, desperately trying to keep quiet. Gabriel was a good sleeper, but they’d woken him up with their bedroom antics before, muffling sounds with hands pressed against mouths, willing him to fall back asleep so they could finish their antics. “Fucking hell…”

“Going to come for me?” Harry whispered into Louis’ ear, making Louis’ body shiver once more. The temperature of the water was rapidly cooling but neither of them seemed to mind, too intent of reaching their own peak. As he stroked Louis to his end, Harry began rutting against Louis’ legs, rubbing his cock back and forth against Louis’ thighs, driving them closer to their mutual orgasms. “Come on, Lou…”

Louis came when Harry pressed the pad of his thumb against the wet head of his dick, forcing him to muffle a scream against Harry’s chest, his body feeling every inch of pleasure from head to toe. Harry was almost holding him up, and Louis could barely whimper when Harry came against his thigh, feeling the warm wetness leak down his leg, soon washed away by the water.

“Shit…” Harry mumbled, cupping Louis’ cheeks again and pressing their lips together, almost lazy in their ministrations now as they caught their breaths, foreheads together, sharing every inch of space. “Thank you. For making tonight happen.”

“S’okay,” Louis muttered, resting his palms on Harry’s hips, pressing gently into the rounded flesh there. He soon trailed around onto Harry’s belly, the place that had been Gabriel’s home for so long and he smiled as Harry allowed the touch, comfortable now with his post-baby body much to Louis’ delight. “Just happy you said yes. Again.”

They stepped out of the shower and dried off, slipping into their boxers before they left the bathroom, quiet in their steps. Gabriel was thankfully still sound asleep on the bed, covers kicked down to his ankles as usual, but Louis hung back as Harry tucked them back over his little body, kissing his forehead before he moved aside, letting Louis kiss his son too. 

They plugged in their phones, both smiling at all the notifications they’d received from their families after sharing their good news, but before he turned his off, Louis got into bed and pulled up the photo one of the waiters had taken of the family when they’d cleared the table, Harry holding up his left hand to show off his new ring. Gabriel was giving the camera an incredibly cheesy grin, and Louis just looked… in love. That was all he could think of when he looked at that photo. He was in love with both of his boys.

“Love this photo,” Harry whispered, keeping his voice low as they both stared at the screen. “We’re getting on, you can see that, but we’re so happy, Lou. I never thought we’d get this… pictures of us with our child. Even now, it still feels a bit surreal sometimes. That we got this.”

“Well, we did. And  _ this _ will be awake in about six hours, so we’d better get some sleep.”

They both giggled at that and kissed for a moment before they snuggled down, legs entangled as usual. Harry’s arm reached out behind him, flicking off the light and plunging the room into darkness.

“Goodnight, Lou. Love you.”

“Love you too. Sleep tight. I’ll get up with Gabe, okay? You sleep in.”

Harry scoffed, squeezing Louis’ fingers gently for a brief second. “Yeah, okay, Mr Morning person. If you say so.”

_ Two months later: Harry _

“Papa. Papa, wakey.”

Harry groaned and opened one eye, his eyes aching as they were assaulted with daylight. But all he could see was the face of his son, staring intently at him, blue eyes blinking every few seconds.

“What’s up, Gabe?” Harry asked, his voice croaky. He propped himself up on his elbows, wondering what was wrong. Usually, Gabriel was a bundle of energy in the mornings, much to Louis’ despair, but right now, he just looked serious, little eyebrows furrowed. “C’mere.”

Harry reached under Gabriel’s arms and hauled him up and into his lap, cuddling him close for a minute.

“Papa,” Gabriel repeated, pulling back and staring at Harry again, that odd expression on his face. “Where’s Daddy?”

Harry smiled to himself, loving how concerned Gabriel was for his other parent, even though they’d run through it several times the night before, making sure Gabriel understood. Louis was convinced he’d got it, but as usual, Harry was right in thinking Gabriel would still wake up confused. 

“He’s at Nanny Jay’s, remember? We’re meeting him later on.”

“To marry him,” Gabriel nodded, a smile widening on his face as he remembered. “But Papa-”

“That’s right, so I can marry him again,” Harry smiled, brushing his son’s curls away from his eyes. 

“No, Papa, I tell you somefin.”

“You can tell me anything.”

“I got eyeballs. Two!” Gabriel exclaimed, holding up four fingers as he did so. Harry laughed and shook his head at his crazy son, loving where these sudden declarations came from. “And you! You got eyeballs!”

“We do. And we do two like this.” Harry held up two fingers, watching as Gabriel tried to copy him, concentrating hard for a moment before he managed it. “You excited about today?”

“Yep. Marryin’ in the forest.”

Gabriel was right. It had only been a few months since Louis had reproposed, but they’d both been determined to book the vow renewal for their twentieth wedding anniversary, which was today. They’d decided against a church or registry office, finally choosing a local forest where a celebrant would come and host their ceremony amongst the wildflowers, exactly what Harry had envisaged since the moment Louis had got down on one knee alongside Gabriel. Lottie and Gemma had worked together to make it all happen, and Harry couldn’t wait to see the finished result just five hours from now. 

“That’s right. Not long now! But first, I’ve got an important question for you.”

“Love ‘portant questions,” Gabriel grinned, flopping down against Louis’ pillow, looking spookily like his father for a moment. 

“Pancakes or eggs and soldiers for brekkie?”

*****

**_Happy anniversary to the best husband and father of my son I could have ever asked for. Cannot wait to marry you again later, and to spend tonight together. I love you with everything I have, and everything I am. Lou. xxxxxx_ **

Harry welled up as he reread the words Louis had sent him over breakfast a few hours ago. Louis had always been a romantic, and had proved himself such when the most beautiful bunch of pale pink roses had arrived an hour after Harry and Gabriel had got out of bed. He’d then found a card tucked in his t-shirt drawer when he’d pulled on something comfortable, crying again as he read the mini essay Louis had written for him, feeling slightly guilty he’d planned on giving Louis his card later on after the ceremony, when they were alone.

“Papa, no cryin’,” Gabriel said, still dancing around the house in his little Adidas shorts Louis had insisted on buying him so they matched. “Happy day!”

“It’s the happiest day,” Harry agreed, letting Gabriel take his phone away from him so he could give his little boy all his attention. “Auntie Gems will be here soon, love. Are you excited to see her?”

“With my book?” Gabriel all but gasped, eyes wide as Harry nodded. A year after Gabriel’s birth, Gemma had surprised them all when she’d published her first children’s book, illustrated by her now boyfriend Rob, and dedicated to ‘ _ the best nephew an auntie could ever ask for’ _ , which had of course made Harry cry floods of tears again. It had been a bestseller, and now Gemma read her stories to Gabriel often over FaceTime, the pair thick as thieves at times. Harry loved how close they were, and sometimes, he sensed she was getting closer to moving back home, which he fervently hoped would happen sooner rather than later.

“Yes, love. I’m sure she’ll read with you. Papa needs to get in the shower, do you want to play in your room while I do it?”

“Trains!” 

“Alright, love.” Harry smiled as Gabriel ran off, the sound of his bucket of trains emptying filtering down the stairs. Harry went into the bathroom and flicked on the shower, smiling at the row of ducks on the windowsill, ready for Gabriel’s next bath. Harry stood at the sink and shaved first before stepping under the water, quickly washing himself, wanting to look and smell his best for Louis today.

He came out and dried himself and his hair, pulling on some jogging bottoms and a jumper, wanting to wait until the last minute to get dressed. He was just heading to Gabriel’s room when the doorbell rang, and his son appeared with a big smile, knowing who it would be.

“Nanny! I get the door?”

Harry nodded and followed his speedy son downstairs, reaching over to open the door, the latch to high up for an excitable Gabriel. He all but pounced into Anne’s arms, wrapping his little legs around her as they all stepped inside. Harry leaned over and kissed her cheek before Gemma scooped him into a tight hug, watery eyes locking on Harry’s.

“Oh, don’t cry,” Harry teased, ruffling Gemma’s hair, making her slap his hand away. “Not like I’m actually getting married, Gem. Been there and done that, remember?”

“Still,” she sniffed, carefully wiping under her eyes with a tissue, “my baby bro is all happy and settled. It’s nice, you know? Makes me happy to see this happen again. And where’s my favourite nephew?” she asked, raising her voice and grinning at Harry as footsteps thundered towards them.

“HERE! I HERE!” 

Gemma gasped, making Gabriel laugh loudly before she picked him up, pressing kisses all over his face. “So you are! I’ve missed you so much, little Gabe!”

The reunion continued for a while until Anne reminded them that they only had an hour until they had to be ready for Harry to remarry Louis again. Harry felt his heart rate rise at the reminder, and he was grateful both his mum and sister were there to calm him down. Gemma took Gabriel off, his son gabbling about the suit his daddies had bought for him as they went upstairs together, leaving Anne alone with Harry.

“Baby,” she said, taking Harry’s hand and leading him over to the sofa, sitting down next to him. “I just wanted to say…” 

“Don’t get emotional,” Harry warned, willing himself not to cry already. There’d be plenty of time for tears later, he didn’t need to start right now. “Don’t make me cry, please.”

“I’ll try,” she chuckled, her cheeks a little pink. “I just wanted to tell you how happy I am for you, darling. I love that you found your happy ever after with Louis, that you’re still so in love with him twenty years on.”

“I love that too. He’s my everything, Mum. Him and Gabe. I still can’t believe I get to be a dad and a husband, that this is my life.”

“Only what you deserve,” Anne said, a tear trailing down her cheek. “I know being with Louis was always enough for you, that you were happy as long as you had each other. But seeing you both grow your family, and become parents… it’s my biggest joy. I’m so glad we all get to celebrate this with you.”

They hugged quietly for a moment until Harry broke away, knowing he was going to lose it completely unless he got up and dressed. “Right. I need to go and get dressed. Maybe go and check Gabe hasn’t talked Gemma into letting him wear his Converse or something?”

Anne laughed and they headed upstairs together. Anne hugged her son before she disappeared into his room, leaving Harry to go into his and Louis’ bedroom. He shut the door and looked at the suit hanging on the wardrobe door, at the pale pink shirt he’d chosen, that he felt was perfect. 

His phone buzzed in his pocket as he went to lift the hangers down, so he paused, reaching for his phone, smiling at the wallpaper on his phone. It was a photo of Louis and Gabriel he’d taken a few weeks ago, the pair smiling broadly at him, cheeks mushed together. 

**_I’m all dressed and waiting for you. Butterflies going wild, can’t believe this is happening for us again! Love you more than anything. Hope G is being a good boy. See you soon xxxx_ **

Harry quickly replied and threw the phone onto his bed. He stripped off all his clothes and reached the shirt down, pulling the soft fabric onto his body, doing the small pearlescent buttons up one by one. He turned to look in the mirror, pleased at how the shirt fitted him, flowing over his not-so-flat stomach, down over his hips. His charcoal grey trousers were next, then came his socks and shoes, finishing the look.

He pinned the little flower to his chest, forgoing his blazer for now. It was a warmer day in September than either of them had anticipated, and Harry didn’t want to turn up to his second wedding with sweaty underarms. There was a knock at the door, so Harry smoothed out his shirt before he went to the door, pulling it open.

“Oh, look at you!” he exclaimed, eyes taking in Gabriel in his outfit. They’d helped steer Gabriel’s choice in the suit shop to something they both approved of, and now Harry knew they’d chosen perfectly. He was wearing light grey trousers with a white shirt, the sleeves rolled halfway up his forearms, and matching light grey braces hooked over his shoulders. He had a little bow tie on as well, that Harry knew was on a piece of elastic around his neck, and there was a matching flower to Harry’s pinned onto his brace. “You look amazing, love!”

“Look like Daddy!” 

“You really do,” Harry smiled, seeing so much of Louis in his son right now. “You think Daddy will think we look smart?”

“So smart,” Gabriel nodded. They both turned to see Anne and Gemma with phones in hand, ready to take some photos so Harry and Gabriel posed together, grinning broadly at the cameras pointed at them. They all went downstairs together and put on their shoes, Gabriel thankfully agreeing to wear the shoes that were like Harry’s own before they headed out, into Harry’s car which Gemma was driving for the day. 

Harry’s nerves started to pick up the closer they got, and when he saw the amount of cars in the car park, he let out a long, slow breath, willing himself to calm down a little. Gabriel reached over and took his dad’s hand then, smiling softly at him as Gemma turned the engine off. They got out to see Niall stood there, a sleeping baby in his arms as he grinned at the Tomlinson boys.

“About time too,” he said, hugging Harry with one arm, then bending down to hug Gabriel. “Daddy’s been waiting for you, mate. Wanna go and see him?”

The little one in his arms, his and Lottie’s new daughter Evelyn, or Evie for short, grumbled, and Harry couldn’t help but lean down to kiss her little forehead, admiring the soft pink babygro she’d been dressed in for the occasion. 

“She looks beautiful, Ni.”

“She does, not that I’m biased,” Niall laughed, kissing his daughter’s tiny lips. “Ready to go, Gabe?”

Gabriel turned to Harry and cuddled him tightly, kissing him before he skipped over to Niall, taking his hand. “Bye, Papa! Love you!”

“Good luck, Haz. Not that you need it,” Niall grinned, taking Gabriel off to find Louis. That left Harry alone with Anne and Gemma, who were chatting quietly between themselves. He could hear the low hum of chatter of the gathered guests who were seated and waiting for the ceremony to start. Harry paused for a moment, taking it all in before he took a few steps towards his family, biting nervously on his lower lip.

“Not having second thoughts, are we?” Gemma teased, and Harry shook his head, knowing that was the furthest thing from his mind. “Good. Well, I’ll go and take my seat, I’ll text you when it’s time to go, okay?”

Harry nodded and hugged his sister tightly, trying not to crease her dress as he did so. Soon, he and Anne were alone, and he gave her a wobbly smile, watching as the celebrant approached. She checked Harry was okay and ready for the ceremony, and when he declared he was, she returned, telling him to listen out for the music they’d chosen for Harry to walk up the aisle to for his cue.

“Thank you, for walking me down the aisle,” Harry whispered, arm in arm with his mum as they waited nervously to walk together, towards Louis and Harry's future. “For a second time, I mean.”

“If there’s anyone I’m happy to give you away to twice, it’s Louis,” Anne said, smiling beautifully at her son. She looked so elegant in her navy dress, hair swept up in a classy chignon, and Harry was proud to walk alongside his mum. He leaned in and kissed her cheek as the music began. Somehow, all his nerves just disappeared as they made a few steps forward, leaves crunching underfoot.

Harry almost gasped as they stepped into the clearing, seeing the set up Gemma and Lottie had come up with together. There were rows of white wooden chairs, each with a ribbon across the back, with their closest friends and family on, both Harry and Louis keen to just make it a small affair, for the ones they held the most dear to their hearts. This was about them and their love for each other, not a big party for everyone to enjoy. This was for  _ them _ . There were fairy lights strung through the branches of the nearby trees, and pink petals sprinkled down the aisle, leading the way for Harry and Anne.

There was something almost magical in the air as Harry slowly glided down the aisle, taking it one step at a time. The leaves were beginning to fall from the trees in their annual dance, and they crunched under Harry’s feet with each step he took, almost the only sound Harry could hear aside from his own heartbeat. It was cold, but Harry couldn’t feel a thing, the wind softly whispering through the trees, making a few more leaves tumble down, twisting and twirling until they landed on the floor in front of Harry.

“It’s beautiful,” he muttered under his breath almost to himself, smiling at his guests. Harry couldn’t quite bring himself to look up to Louis yet, instead letting his eyes meet those of his family and closest friends. Liam and Sophia were sitting near the front with their children between them, and Harry laughed to himself as Jasmine got onto her knees, waving frantically at Harry, who raised his hand and just wiggled his fingers towards her. Liam pulled her back down, blushing a bit, but Harry didn’t mind a bit. This was what he wanted, to enjoy this moment with everyone he loved around him.

Finally, though, Harry couldn’t put it off any longer. It felt like time slowed down as he raised his head again, this time meeting the eyes of the man he loved more than anyone else in the world. Louis. He was… there was no other word for it but stunning. He was smiling so widely, his eyes were crinkling beautifully, and his grey-flecked hair was swept up into a quiff that Harry found so handsome. The outfit he was wearing was just like Gabriel’s, right down to the matching suspenders. Harry was the happiest man in the world as he saw how Louis and Gabriel were holding hands, both waiting for him.

Harry came to a stop opposite Louis, turning to kiss his mum on the cheek before she disappeared to sit next to Robin and Gemma on the front. He looked over to see Jay jiggling Ellie on her lap, Phoebe and Daisy next to her with their respective boyfriends next to them. Finally, he settled on Louis’ eyes, smiling gently at the man opposite him, reaching for his hand.

“You look gorgeous,” Louis said, lacing their fingers together, his other hand still holding on Gabriel’s, who kept looking up between his parents, the sweetest smile on his face. “I’m glad you turned up.”

“Nowhere I’d rather be,” Harry replied, completely honest in his words. “Happy anniversary, by the way.”

Louis grinned back, squeezing Harry’s fingers quickly. “Best twenty years I’ve ever had.”

“Are we both ready?” the celebrant asked, and both of them nodded, eyes only locked on each other. Gabriel shuffled closer to Louis then, almost wedging him way between his parents, but neither of them minded in the slightest. They were a unit, the three of them. Gabriel was their last little piece that completed their family puzzle, and Harry couldn’t be prouder that his son was part of their special day. It was just the icing on the cake.

Harry grinned, facing the celebrant as he prepared to commit himself all over again to his husband and his son, his two favourite people in the world. “Never been more ready.”

_ The end. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it! 19 chapters and finally, it's done. Thank you so much for all the support since I started posting this fic. I've enjoyed reading your comments so much, and it honestly makes me want to keep going!
> 
> I have two Christmas fics coming this month, **My Gift Is You** on the 11th December, and another a week or so after, so please check those out, then that's it for 2020!
> 
> Thank you again for reading, and I hope you've enjoyed it. Let me know your thoughts on the epilogue in the comments!
> 
> All the love x


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